1. Just - Radiohead / 2. A Primer for the Small Weird Loves - Richard Siken / 3. The Hangover - Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec / 4. A House in Nebraska - Ethel Cain / 5. After the Misdeed - Jean Beraud / 6. Abject Permanence - Larissa Pham / 7. You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse
The L Word, season 1 / Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov / Crace you by Flight Facilities/ Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac / I listen to the ocean and All I hear is you by Tracy Emin (2018)
Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace // “Forever… is a long time,” Halsey // “Sincerity is Scary,” The 1975 // “E Pluribus Unum: Television and US Fiction,” David Foster Wallace // Matty Healy explaining his lyric for genius // “I know it’s over,” The Smiths // White Oleander, Janet Fitch // Call Me By Your Name (2017) dir. Luca Guadagnino // A tweet from the poet, Chen Chen // “Lead,” Mary Oliver // “The Prayer,” Warsan Shire
y'all fucking love ignoring our posts relating to bpd dont ya. like y'all will like/rb the posts before and after them but just,,, conveniently ignore our posts about bpd.
time for that shit is over.
so lets talk you guys. first off, let me be blunt. none of y'all care or probably would care about bpd or ANY personality disorder, if you didn’t know someone who had it. be honest, its okay.
why? because personality disorders are either ignored and given no information, no healthy media,,, or they’re demonized and made into some scary trope.
so what does that mean now? its not my fault this is happening you may think, but heres the thing.
its up to you to educate yourself, even if you only cared because someone you knew has it. its up to you to find the PROPER information and listen to people with pds when we say “hey stop saying that thing!”
hell even *im* still learning.
so lets talk (again) about basic no-no words,
- narcissist(ic) ; this relates to people with NPD (sometimes bpd via stigma) and portrays them as inherently evil, self absorbed, and abusive. your abuser wasn’t narcissistic, they were egotistical, manipulative, self absorbed, etc, etc.
- ps*chopath / soc*opath ; relates to people with ASPD (ps*chopath is thought to be related to those with psychosis but that is incorrect and something i just recently learnt) this is ANOTHER “dangerous” stigma.
- borderlines ; not all that common but guys…. stop. you say person with *insert pd* not,,, whatever that bs is.
- anti-social ; big one!!! very common!!!!! most “anti-social” people are actually asocial.
why is this important?
removing stigma starts at the source, people. people make the movies, people make the stories, people make the impressions the next generation gets. understanding whats stigma and whats true is important.
what can i do? how do i know if im right?
check to see if the community has talked about that subject!! see what we have to say!! and if you know somebody (us included) who don’t mind questions, ask. your efforts help us.
but the stigma isnt that bad!!
npd and aspd have NOTORIOUS stigma, i can legit direct you to TWO different subreddits full of stigms against those with bpd, the term narcissistic abuse exists, most pds are erased and unheard of (tell me do you know what dpd is? avpd? hpd?), and professionals REFUSE to handle us due to the stigma. it is. it hurts us even commonly.
tldr? you guys need to fucking STEP UP if you wanna claim you care about those with personality disorders.
[edit for clarification: reblogs are ENCOURAGED, people with pds are encouraged to add on, dont fucking clown if u dont have a pd]
The whole point of The Virgin Suicides isn’t “Why did the Lisbon girls kill themselves?”
Because we actually do figure that out. It’s an airtight and painfully obvious case.
The real point of The Virgin Suicides is how everybody *missed* those signs. They either barely scratch the surface, or just frantically run around in circles when the reality is staring them in the face.
Let’s be clear about one thing: the boys could have done more. Yet they had no concept of basic human psychology or emotional abuse to recognize the situation for what it is and to act accordingly. And the way they narrate the story, it’s clear that their psychological insight hasn’t grown.
The Virgin Suicides is a commentary on our collective ignorance on mental health and abuse. And to buy the boys’s narrative that the Lisbon girls killing themselves is a ‘mystery’ is to fall in that trap.
BPD definitely can and often does cause memory issues.
I don’t think people with BPD necessarily “remember events totally different”. However, I think they can perceive events very differently. For example, let’s say a person with BPD and their neurotypical significant other had a small argument. The significant other will probably remember it as just that, a small argument. The person with BPD may remember this as their significant other being furious with them, hating them, and wanting to leave them when that wasn’t the case at all.
BPD also causes memory issues because people with BPD lack emotional permanence: the understanding that emotions existed/were felt before the emotion being felt currently. When a person with BPD shifts into a bad mood, their memories of what being ok felt like aren’t accessible. To the person with BPD, it feels like the horrible feeling they are experiencing is all they ever have felt and all they ever will feel. It contributes to us catastrophizing things and makes bad moods even worse. This can also go the other way though. When a person with BPD shifts from feeling bad to good, it feels like they’ve always been okay and that they’ve never truly experienced depression. This contributes to us questioning whether or not we actually have BPD and makes us feel like we’re faking our symptoms.
Ok, a final way BPD affects memory (sorry this is probably more than you asked for lmfao) is through PTSD. Not every person with BPD has gone through trauma, but many people with BPD have. PTSD causes memory loss and impairs the ability to create new memories. Traumatic stress can cause the hippocampus (part of brain associated with storing and recalling memory) to become damaged or even decrease in size. Traumatic stress (and high amounts of stress in general) causes high cortisol levels (stress hormone). High cortisol levels impair and damage parts of the brain including the hippocampus. Actually now that I think about it, you don’t even necessarily have to have traumatic stress to experience this because BPD causes a shit ton of stress and high cortisol levels by itself. PTSD probably just makes this even worse.
