Utilisateur:Vlad2i/ADN en C
- For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very
- little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.
- I have solved the mystery.
- The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the
- rest of it is comments.
- Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as
- follows:
- ===
- /* HUMAN_DNA.H
- *
- * Human Genome
- * Version 2.1
- *
- * (C) God
- */
- /* Revision history:
- *
- * 0000-00-01 00:00 1.0 Adam.
- * 0000-00-02 10:00 1.1 Eve.
- * 0000-00-03 02:11 1.2 Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
- * will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
- * 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
- * elephant-dna.c
- * 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail.
- * 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
- * 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
- * 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
- * darker to match my own image.
- * 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth.
- * Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
- * 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height.
- * 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population
- * density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
- * 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of
- * CD.
- */
- /* Standard definitions
- */
-
- define SEX male
- define HEIGHT 1.84
- define MASS 68
- define RACE caucasian
- /* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
- *
- * Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
- * inheritance features.
- */
-
- include "mother.h"
- include "father.h"
-
- infndef FATHER
- warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
- include "bastard.h"
- endif
- /* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
- */
- include <sex.h>
- /* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
- * library sometime soon.
- */
- struct genitals
- {
- ifdef MALE
- Penis *jt;
- endif
- /* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
- ifdef FEMALE
- Vagina *p;
- endif
- }
- /* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
- * Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
- */
- DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);
- /* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
- *
- * Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
- * to display at birth.
- *
- * Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
- */
- Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);
- ===
- ...and so on.
- [ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]
--
(The original author of this joke is <Mathew Murphy>. He has kindly released this joke under GPL. Thanks Mathew!)