At The Stable ...

In Japan I had the privilege of visiting a Sumo Stable. I didn't really know what to expect. But this was a stable where little ones were trained from young to BECOME someone ~ a revered sumo wrestler.

The little ones were of all different kinds ~ some with rapt attention, some easily distracted, some really showing prowess at this age.







My reflections about me and my school of life : where am I? Wavering? Picking myself up? Plodding on? Making headway?

I hope I am further down the road, onto another class. "Teach me Thy way O Lord, teach me Thy way!"

Insight In Beijing

Flashes come back of last year, and what a rough climb it was. Every event, every success was painted with a blotch of pain. Sitting in the Beijing airport waiting to get home from Mongolia, this pix reminded me ...






Call Him! He's only a call away ...

Black & White

New friend discovered,
Gone is the mynah, behold :
Black & White ~ what joy!

Far Sighted!

Why are you downcast O my soul? Why so low within me? Lift up your head and see yonder. There is light beyond the darkness. He sits enthroned, He knows the way.

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee ... "How great Thou art, how great Thou art!"

I rest

He Said, "Never Again"

The third day of a new year. A heart afraid and not confident. Afraid of the days ahead? Afraid of the unknown? Haunted by the past, clouded by the future?

Then these words :
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." (Matthew 6:34, Message)

Then this picture reminded me of our God who said never again will He wipe us out. I remember our, my fragile life and am thankful for a God who loves me in a tough way. A love that wilt not let me go!

Thanks be to God

Costly Love, Costs How Much?!

The road is ending, an new one unfolding. That is the saga of 2008, opening out into 2009. Many lessons along the way, with the question still remaining, ... have I been a GOOD STUDENT?

Wave upon wave they came. The lessons in packages big and small. Loving people going the extra mile. An operating theatre under the surgeon's hand. My brother who played nurse. My friend who went out of the way.

Laughter and tears, they were my teachers. Through it all I went into the school of higher learning. Mistakes made. I made them. Others made them. In each, a lesson to be unearthed.

People ~ they are life's best lessons. Many who gave grace. Some who stumbled and I with them. Some who battered and ouch, it hurt! Wave after wave, they came and went.

Events unfolded, no one would have guessed. The Lord turned up, ministry at its best. But behind the curtain stood one frail, vulnerable, wounded and weary. Tough and tender at the same time. I learnt one subject and I learnt it hard and well ~ costly love costs! Costs how much? It costs blood, sweat and tears. It costs much sacrifice. It costs you your pride, your esteem and your life! How did I learn that? Through you, through me and through my Lord!




Now, the year is silently ending. I say goodbye and thank you for the precious lesson. As I look between the trees and see the waves, I know that beauty is carved through time, through the crashes and through the waves.

I hope I have learnt my lessons well. Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus, into our lives, into our stories and into our lessons. Blessed Christmas and a Blessed New Year.

A Silent Soliloquy ... In Search Of ...

Disgust chokes the air. Has thou no scar? How can you not? Are thy hands dirty? How come they are not dipped in the dirt?

Fanfare? Oh no! Trumpets sounding your fanfare? Who are you? They tell me your name is SERVANT! Huh?!

Charlotte's Web was a story I read 20 over years ago when I was in varsity. Reading a child's tale then, and even now when I read it again, made me shed a tear or two. Charlotte ~ a name associated with giving, and giving sacrificially. Charlotte, a friend who became a servant-friend of Wilbur the pig. Through her web-spinning wonders, she made an ordinary pig, extraordinary.



Through her act of servanthood, she augmented someone else's life at the expense of her own. All this she did softly, without loud acclaim or attention seeking. Ah!!! Servanthood is the silent giving of oneself.

I have been thinking much about sacrifice and servanthood. I see loud expressions of them everywhere. People who serve and yet want to draw attention to their service. It has become a Christian game, I think. "Let me be your servant ... blow, blow, blow my own trumpet!"

I have been feeling disgusted at servants wannabes ~ who use the title "servant" to glorify themselves. Have been wrestling in my soul. I have been disturbed. Lest I be accused of throwing stones at others, I have been doing my own soul examen as well.

Ah, how I long for you, Charlotte! Sweet, sweet friend. True servant. Softly I hear you at work, spinning away your web for others. Am I just going to be a wannabe servant or a servant true and true? Are you going to be a ...?!

It Is Well With My Soul?!

The tombstone says, "Sometime, we'll understand."

Yeah, it is the same tombstone with the dog, which refused to go home after his master passed on. The mistress not only lost her beloved husband, but their "best friend". She had this tombstone done in memory of the both of them. She had her pain, her questions, her struggles. But she seemed to be patient to know, "sometime".

Today, I saw the lady who always used to cook at the Acha Curry House. I saw her getting down from a car, or rather being helped down in a wheel chair. I saw that one of her legs had been amputated! My spirit was so pained. A lovely lady, who always had a smile for those whom she served. Her cooking was simply delicious. She used to limp though, but one didn't notice it beneath her smile! Today, I understood why they closed down the shop. Her leg had just been amputated! Why her?

Yi Jien? I saw him as a little boy in church. I saw him grow up. I heard he got married. Now he is lost in Montana, somewhere. Why him? Why Kim Guat my friend, who has been through many sorrows? We are still hoping, but it is painful.And her words moved me. Kim Guat said, "Even now, it is well with our souls."

I am not sure I can say that. There is much pain in my heart for these persons. I am pained for my Tanah Airku, too. Yet, these people's footprints urge me to lift up my eyes, cos, ... sometime we'll understand!

So yes, "It Is Well With My Soul!"

20 Over Years Ago ...

When I was a student in USM over 20 years ago, I spent a day cycling around Penang Island. I came across a grave which impacted me so much. I thought it was in the Youth Park.

All these years I searched for it, but someone told me there was no graveyard at Youth Park. So I searched in all the wrong places. 2 weeks ago brought me to Penang again. My spirits were drained, bashed around and finding handles to hold on to. I wanted God to lift my spirits and give me the "wind beneath my wings".

We passed a Protestant Burial Ground. I mentally noted it and said to myself, I must come there and look sometime. But somehow,one of the day of the retreat brought me to the Youth Park. As we drove in, I spotted the cemetery. I decided to walk in with a friend. In my haste to search what I was looking for, I left her behind.

Time was up! Had to go back. Was about to give up, when I turned and saw it! WOW! My spirit was lifted, and I was called to UNSWERVING LOYALTY to the one who has loved me so. (Thank you, Lord for knowing I needed this for the next mile!)

At The Table ...

Hmmm, I've just been thinking. What do you do? When the cross weighs you down? Jesus' words, "Carry your cross" reverberates down the halls of my life. Yet sometimes it feels just so heavy!

When no one can hear your fears. When no one understands your concerns. When no one wants to give and take. When you have nothing left to give. When you scarcely have enough faith to believe it will happen. When the cross feels its heaviest, ...! I heard the beckoning voice, to believe that God is stirring up something better than I can ever imagine.

This morning at the Communion Table, He waited on me and fed me the grace, the faith and the courage to continue carrying my cross. Come friend, let's carry our crosses together.

:)