Bubbles

Like all human beings on Earth, I live in a body that allows me to physically move around the planet. At the moment this fleshy vehicle is still in working order although it is quite old and slightly world-weary (it is 62 years old after all). Nevertheless, it is useful for getting me from place to place and is still good enough to do so with minimal trauma, as long as I don’t try to overdo it. 

Similarly, and again like all human beings, I live in a mental bubble. This bubble allows me to take in inputs from a variety of sources and compute the best reaction and also dictate what I do. It contains my view of the world, my opinions and helps me navigate and utilise my body. 

I like to think that I am aware of the veracity of the information contained in the bubble and that by and large everything in there is based on the truth as perceived by my intelligence, awareness and how I process the vast quantities of information that have to be processed within on a second by second basis.

In this regard, in the same way as our bodies, no two individuals have the same bubble. Every person has his or her view of the world based on how the information has been processed. Yet, we all think that our own view of the world is the only one that is one hundred percent correct. I am guilty of this and, unlike some people, I like to think that I could possibly be wrong about some things. 

One of the biggest challenges to most people is social media which gives everybody who embraces it access to what is going on inside the bubbles of other people. I struggle with this sometimes because I don’t like to be swayed by things for which I have no proof. I would rather spend my time learning about facts and judge things based on them. 

A good example of what I am talking about is music. I always chuckle when an album is released by an artist I have never heard of that is portrayed as the best thing ever recorded: 

“The greatest singer/songwriter of our age bares his soul in a soaring new release”. 

Really? I am willing to listen to such albums out of interest but I would never spend money on such a thing unless I actually liked it myself. 

It’s the same with movies: 

“This movie is a phenomenal triumph”

Really? Why did it only score 1.6 on IMDB?

Ultimately it is all a matter of personal choice. 

What I don’t understand is the concept of “influencers”. I have seen people describe themselves as “influencers” and I daresay that there are some people who really are influenced by them but I don’t get it. I certainly don’t let such people influence me. There are a lot of people who I admire for being good actors, musicians, singers, authors etc. but I don’t follow their life choices or allow my own bubble to blindly be manipulated by the so-called “truth” that comes from their bubble. A lot of people allow this to happen and I find that bizarre. 

I can’t be a copycat for a rock star for example. Some of my musical heroes have been wild men who think they are indestructible and abuse their bodies in ways that are shocking. For example, I admire Ozzy Osbourne because of his music, yet if I had adopted his hedonistic attitude towards drugs and booze, I probably wouldn’t be here to write this post. Besides, I don’t like all of his music, just certain aspects of it. 

I know people who have followed “influencers” and adopted aspects of their dress sense, their musical taste and their political views. Some “influencers” also spread bullshit about everything from finances, health and conspiracy. And gullible people buy it all. 

As I was approaching retirement, I started looking into potential new hobbies that I could take up over the next few years and I have a list of some very interesting ones such as genealogy, wine tasting, photography etc. and I have several that I probably will take up when I get bored of my current hobbies. 

One caught my eye and it made me laugh: become a social media influencer. 

Really? At my age? I did some research on this and discovered to my amusement that there really are old influencers who have decided to use their life experiences to earn money from social media. I can partly see the point of that if they are offering their experience as a guide and, to be honest, I think that there is probably some wisdom from people my age who have seen and done a lot. 

I would never do that. But then again, isn’t blogging a form of social media. I have been blogging since 2008. Mostly the stuff I hurl out there into cyberspace is total horseshit – but am I trying to influence people – even subconsciously? 

Is my little bubble casting out a net in order to ensnare other more gullible bubbles and lead them stray? 

Am I a colossal hypocrite? 

The answer is of course, no (although the caveat to that is that I am a hypocrite in other ways; I’m just not an “influencer”). 

My aim is to fling my nonsense into cyberspace in the hope that my words will cheer somebody up or bring a little smile to somebody's face. 

That is all. 

The thought of myself being an “influencer” fills me with horror and makes me laugh out loud. If, as a result of reading this blog, you become a weirdo who wants to travel a lot, move to Manchester, listen to progressive rock and metal, rant a lot about politics and many other subjects while supporting a useless football team in League Two then you probably need help. 

Having said that, based on some of the comments I have received over the years, most people who stumble on this blog disagree with a lot of the aspects of my thought processes.

And that is the way it should be, dear reader. 

Be the unique person you are and be yourself. 

Don’t let anybody burst your bubble.

I’ll leave you with a song by Steven Wilson about following “Influencers”.

Old Man Hoodie

Welcome to a beautiful day in South Manchester. The weather has been odd recently because we have had wall to wall sunshine in the last two weeks with higher than average temperatures. This has made my morning walks very enjoyable indeed. Sadly it will end on Sunday when rain is forecast. 

Last weekend we were in York with my two lads and the weather was fantastic. I love York and we don’t go there often enough in my opinion. We were pure tourists on Saturday, walking along the Shambles, visiting bookshops, sight-seeing and taking photographs of the Minster as well as throwing ourselves into the Jorvik centre where I gazed upon what York was like under Vikings in the year 1000. I am blond with blue eyes so maybe my ancestors were Vikings. I must make a mental note to get my DNA tested. 

Shall we answer some daft questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. Do you own a pair of cargo pants?

No – I own two pairs of cargo pants. I must admit that I only bought them recently with a view to wearing them around the house instead of jeans but I do like them, I have to say. I think perhaps they are more fitting for a person younger than me but they are comfortable. 

On the same subject, just before I retired, the company insisted on giving everybody a company hoodie. I was leaving so I respectfully declined it. They insisted that I keep it so I reluctantly took it, vowing never to wear it. I planned to put it in the loft as a souvenir of working there. However, for a laugh, I wore it on my last day in the office and I have to say that I thought it was amazing. It was comfortable and really warm. 

And now, seven months after I retired, I still wear it around the house (I would never wear it outside because it advertises the company and makes me look like a huge geek). Moreover, I liked it so much that I bought two more hoodies. 

I have a couple of mates who I go to gigs with, one in his sixties and one in his fifties, and both of them wear hoodies with band logos on them. I think they look okay but one of them has been chastised by his wife for wearing a hoodie and cargo pants. “You look like a ten year old!” she said. 

I say – who cares? 

2. Which of these gifts from a romantic partner would please you most: a) jewellery, b) wine, c) a book, d) something grown in his/her garden?

I have bought jewellery, wine and books for Mrs PM over the years. 

Books and wine are easy because I know what she likes. However, buying jewellery for her is a nightmare. Her mum once bought her a ring and when she unwrapped it, I must admit I thought the ring was really nice, so much so that I told Mrs PM. She looked at me as if I had just crawled out of a primeval swamp. 

“It’s horrible,” she said. 

I was aware that I had bought her jewellery in the past without showing it to her first and I know that was a mistake. It was a response to “Surprise me!” when I asked what she wanted for Christmas. She still has the surprise jewellery that I bought her but I don’t think she wears it often. As for the ring, she gave it back to her mum to change and her mum ended up keeping it. Despite what Mrs PM said, I still like it and I backed her mum in this case. It is also the reason why I do not buy Mrs PM surprises any more and if she wants jewellery, she has to pick it herself and send me a link. 

That keeps us both happy. 

3. Who was the last person to toss a harsh word or phrase your way? Do you think that maybe you had it coming?

It was undoubtedly Mrs PM and I almost certainly absolutely deserved it. 

4. Did you appear in any plays back when you were in school? If yes, what role(s) did you play? Earn extra, non-existent points for sharing any of your dialogue.

Yes. I appeared in three plays, all of which occurred between the ages of eight and ten. 

The first was co-written by myself and friend and was a typical good guy/bad guy play set in a Western setting and was absolutely dreadful. I played a sheriff complete with cowboy hat and plastic holster and gun. We bought caps especially for it and had a shoot out in the saloon complete with tomato ketchup for special effects. 

The second was Sleeping Beauty and I played the Prince. I had to kiss the princess (poor girl) and she struggled not to laugh as I approached her. 

The third was Alice in Wonderland and I played gryphon, complete with a cloak acting as wings, a balaclava with a huge cardboard beak sewn onto the top and hundreds of bright yellow crepe paper  feathers stuck to the cloak, balaclava and my shirt to complete the effect. I had to sing a song with Alice and the Mock Turtle. And, yes, I do recall one line and the some of the song lyrics.

Lines:

“Hello, is your name Alice? I'm the Gryphon and I’ve come here to take you to see the Mock Turtle”.

Song Lyrics:

“Beautiful Soup! Beautiful Soup! Soup, soup of the evening! Beautiful beautiful soup!”

Do I get extra non-existent points?

5. Which Osmond do you like better: Donny or Marie?

That’s like choosing between having you toenails or your fingernails removed with pliers.

The elder of my two sisters loved them both and I often had to hear her bellowing:

“PAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPEEERRRRRRR ROOOOSSSSEEESSSS!”

or

“This is not a Puppy Love!”

I hated both of them. However, I do have an answer. I think I would say Donny Osmond but only because he appears on this song, which I love:

6. Who is your favourite radio host or podcaster?

I don’t have one. However, back in the day when I used to actually listen to the radio, I liked two DJ’s who played music that didn’t fit in with the normal tosh they played. 

Those guys were Tommy Vance (or as he declared himself to be “TV on the Radio”). He was the DJ for “The Friday Rock Show” on BBC Radio One and he was allowed to play all manner of rock and metal songs that never would have been played normally. This show was on at 10pm on a Friday night and I used to listen to it religiously along with thousands of other budding metalheads. Over the years he gradually rose to prominence and eventually presented the prestigious Top 40 radio show where he loved to play the full versions of any rock song that crept into the charts, including the full version of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s amazing Freebird. 

The second was the legendary John Peel. Apparently he had a huge record collection and everything he played on his show was from that collection. His taste was varied from the Beatles to extreme metal band Napalm Death and he basically just played what he liked and was very forthright in his views on all manner of music. Like Tommy Vance, he too was relegated to late night slots.

7. Is your personal workspace filled with fluffy, plastic wind-up, rubbery or edible items? Or are you all business and clutter free?

My desk at home has three really stupid things that my youngest lad Mike bought me for Christmas. The first is a Groot light and the other two are Rubik’s cubes. 

They look ridiculous but who cares?

The Static Man

Welcome to a cloudy but pleasant South Manchester. I thought I would have a go at Sunday Stealing  which has taken a bit of a break over the last couple of months. It’s a fun diversion to answer some daft questions so let’s dive straight in shall we?

1. What book are you currently reading?

I’m currently reading a science fiction series called The Gamma Recruits which involves parallel universes and time travel. Such novels totally appeal to a geek like me. But I don’t care. I love this kind of thing. 

2. Have you ever smoked? 

My dad was a smoker and he tried desperately to give up. Nevertheless he always told me not to do it and of all the ways he tried to influence me, somehow that one stuck. I did rebel briefly at school and joined the other smokers behind a certain building at school. I tried to take a drag and I ended up coughing like a lunatic and gave up there and then. The second and last time I tried smoking was at university. I was drunk and took the offer of a cigarette and then took the smoke all the way down into my lungs. The reaction was spectacular – I threw up. I decided at that moment that I would never try it again – and to this day I haven’t. 

3. Do you own a gun?

I live in the United Kingdom so of course I don’t own a gun. Whenever I watch the news about America’s massive gun problems and mass shootings I shake my head with incredulity. People are shot so much in America because there seems to be no gun control whatsoever and it seems that a proportion of the population feel the need to have one for whatever reason. It’s absurd. 

I am glad the UK has such strict rules about guns.

4. What is your favourite candy?

I don’t eat “candy” that much but at the moment we are approaching Easter, which means that Cadbury’s Creme Eggs are available. I love them and at this time I do buy them as a treat. 

Other than that, I love Lindor Chocolate, especially the dark ones. 

5. Hot dogs: yay or nay?

I haven’t had a hot dog for a while. I think the last time was in the last decade when I went to the cinema. I wouldn’t normally have a hot dog there but I recall I was a little peckish. 

So I guess that’s a “Yay”!

6. Favourite movie?

I simply don’t have one. There are too many movies that I love to be able to cut it down to even 100 let alone just one. Here are a couple that I have seen recently that may qualify but if you ask me again tomorrow I will pick others. 

300

Avengers: Infinity War / Avengers: Endgame

Inglorious Basterds

Inception

Mission Impossible : Fallout

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

I always have a large cup of decaffeinated tea, with a little milk and no sugar. Also a glass of apple juice and orange juice mixed. 

8. What do you drink throughout the day?

Again, I drink decaffeinated tea and the odd glass of water. 

9. Do you do push ups?

I have done push ups in the past (or as we in the UK call them - press ups). In fact the most recent time I did them was at the start of 2024 for a couple of months until I got fed up. I think I may try them again. 

10. What’s your favourite piece of jewellery?

I don’t wear jewellery so I don’t have a favourite I’m afraid. 

11. Current worry?

I can honestly say, at the moment, that I don’t have any serious worries I can think of. 

Having said that. we are having the garden redesigned and this will involve the whole thing being ripped up and re-laid. I guess that counts as a worry because I hate that sort of upheaval at home. The good news is that it is outside rather than in the house, and our garden is quite small so it won’t take more than a week. Thinking about it, even that isn’t a worry – just an annoying inconvenience for a short while. It will look good when it is complete though, hopefully. 

12. Current annoyance?

Where do I start? I’ve stopped watching the news recently because it makes my blood boil. I always thought that if Trump were ever re-elected it would have global consequences and it is proving to be far worse than even I considered. 

Trump seems to be systematically trying to dismantle all the alliances that the US has. He is alienating his country from Europe, from his nearest neighbours (especially Canada), he is trying to annexe Greenland and he has a vice president who seems to enjoy shooting off his poisonous mouth wherever he goes. 

Add to that unleashing Elon Musk on his own government and pandering to Putin’s needs and his treatment of Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the White House in front of the whole world and you see dangerous times ahead. The idiot has only been President for a couple of months and we can see scary times ahead. 

Rant over.

13. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

I have never slept on satin sheets but I think if I did my hair would be so full of static electricity that I would never be able to get it under control.  

14.  Can you whistle?

Yes I can. 

Myths About Britain - Debunked (Part Two)

In my last post, I talked about some misunderstandings regarding the United Kingdom and what it is like to be a British person as well of some things that people from other countries get wrong. I have some more to talk about today.

Our Beer is Warm

In Britain, there are so many beers that I could barely begin to even start naming them. We have several different types such as Bitter, India Pale Ale (or IPA), Mild and Stout. Each country within the UK has variations and beers that are specific to that country. We also have lager and lots of beers imported from other countries. 

You can enter most pubs in the UK and get a variety of these so the choice is incredible. There is a lot of regional variation based on local breweries. For example in Stockport, a town that is not too far away from Manchester, we have Robinson’s brewery so we have a few pubs in Manchester that are owned by that brewery and specialise in the various different beers from that brewery. Sometimes we get beers from other parts of the country too, for example from London. 

Many micro-breweries exist too and their beer appears in various pubs that like to offer “Guest Beers”, meaning that on any given day there will be a couple of beers that are only on offer for a short amount of time. 

The truth about our beer being supposedly warm is that it isn’t (well – sort of). Most beers are stored in the cellar whose temperature is controlled and you will normally find it served at about 10 °C (about 50 °F) but there can be variations depending on the season. For example, in the winter all beer is cold but in the summer it may seem to be a little warmer. That said, if you order a pint of lager it is always served cold no matter what the season is. 

In the colder months, I tend to drink Bitter or IPA but when the weather warms up I drift towards lager, usually continental offerings from Germany, Belgium, Spain, France or Italy. I have been known to drink any beer depending on the mood. 

To summarise, I can understand why, say, somebody visiting from Europe or the USA may find some of our own beers a little warmer than they expect it to be. But really, it isn’t. 

British Weather is Terrible

British people love to talk about the weather. Why? Because you cannot guarantee one hundred percent what it is going to be like, even when you have seen the weather forecast for that day. I remember once on one extreme day, I saw sunshine and then rain, followed by a freak hailstorm and then a thunderstorm. By the end of the day the weather had returned to a semblance of normality when the sun came out again. This was in June.

This all doesn’t mean that the weather in the UK is terrible. We just get a massive variation but we don’t get extremes like hurricanes, tornadoes or extreme cold or heat. 

In winter the weather is generally not good. We get lots of rain, usually some snow at times and also a fair share of sunny days. However, the temperature usually ranges from about -5 °C (23 °F) to a mild 10 °C (50 °F). We don’t get the extreme cold that they get in Russia for example. I recall being in Moscow when the temperature was -25 °C (-13 °F) and there was so much snow that there were mountains of it piled up on the side of the road. 

In spring and autumn the weather is genuinely quite mild and pleasant. We do get quite a lot of rain though and I am guessing this is where the “terrible weather” slur comes from. The summers are usually very pleasant with temperatures in Manchester rising up to 30 °C (86 °F) although it often gets a few degrees higher. The hottest temperature we have had in Manchester is 38 °C (100 °F) although it was even hotter in London. Again we don’t have the extremes of the Middle East where I experienced 46 °C (115 °F) in Muscat, Oman. 

The one thing I will say is that it could rain at any time – yet still we have droughts too. British weather is annoying sometimes but it is not terrible compared to some places in the world.

The United Kingdom is Boring

Whenever I’ve heard somebody say that the UK is a boring place, that person has never set foot on our islands. I have been to many varied and fascinating countries in the world and each one in its own way is interesting and full of adventure. And I think that sentiment also applies to my own country. 

The one complaint I hear most is the weather (see the previous point) but there is plenty to do and the UK is a friendly place full of people who are willing to talk to you and help you to enjoy yourself. We have an amazing history (if not a bit horrible at times) and thousands of cultural icons to enjoy. We have thousands of miles of coastline and four (count them – FOUR) countries all of which have their own culture and outlook on life. 

We have our fair of eccentric pastimes, eccentric people and some weird perspectives on life but these add to the charm. We are hilarious as a nation and boast some of the funniest people in the world. We are masters of self-deprecation and find humour in most situations. We have some of the greatest actors in the world and our music is legendary worldwide. 

There is a huge list of things that were invented by people from the UK including the world’s first stored program digital computer which was designed and built here in Manchester. We also were the pioneers of the Internet as well as inventing things like the hydraulic press, ATM, toothbrush, fire extinguishers, stainless steel,  steam engine, turbo-jet engine, telescope, hovercraft, lawnmower, light bulb, railway, the telephone and many more. 

We have always been amazing, interesting and we still are. We know how to entertain and also have fun, as you will discover if you spend time in a pub. 

We are definitely not boring.

All We Drink is Tea

I must admit that I am drinking a cup of tea as I type this. Nevertheless, I do drink coffee too. In fact at work, most people I worked with were coffee drinkers rather than tea. 

Tea is very popular here, probably more popular than it is in any other country with the possible exception of China and India and if you go to visit people here, one of the first things that will happen is that you will be offered a cup of tea. We have tea shops but we also have coffee shops too. 

I think this is merely a stereotype and I am being a little hypocritical because I do love a cup of tea (or a cuppa). 

British People are Reserved

Many people think that British people are reserved and we face adversity with our “stiff upper lips”. The myth is that we are polite and don’t show our true feelings preferring to hide behind a façade of stoicism and courage when confronted by something that is difficult or unpleasant. 

I think those old war movies have something to do with this particular myth. When you watch British officers and soldiers going into battle, they show no fear, are very polite and say things like “For King and Country” before marching off to certain death with no fear and a determination that they will “take out as many of the bastards as I can” before “returning to Blighty for a cup of tea and cakes”. In the case of Americans, they charge in looking angry and screaming their war cries while waving their flags and trying to put the fear of God into whoever is facing them. 

Here's a parody that illustrates what I am talking about from Monty Python.

The upper classes may have that old British War movie outlook on life but the rest of us don’t. In fact the vast majority of us are amazing and funny people and a lot of us are not reserved at all. We mock each other and ourselves and a lot of the time it’s hilarious. In fact, the further away from London north you go, and certainly the further north, the friendlier the people, as illustrated by this spoof news report:

Every British Person Loves the Royal Family

The Royal family are divisive in the UK. There are certain people who absolutely adore them and hang on every word they say. For such people every single story involving them is a must read and any word said against them is tantamount to treason. These people are fuelled by tabloid newspapers who themselves adore certain members of the family but don’t like others. The darlings of the Royal family at the moment are William and Kate. Nothing bad is ever written about them and Royalists worship them.

Yet William’s brother, Harry, is seen as a pariah, perhaps because he married Meghan Markle who rarely gets a kind word written about her. 

I try my best to ignore the Royal family, apart from the odd rant when a story about them is the number one item on the news. To me, a story about Kate turning up at a school is totally and utterly irrelevant. I couldn’t care less. But when such a story is given a higher priority than, say, the economy being in trouble, I get annoyed. To me they are just celebrities but with the difference that they don’t have any talent at all. They are just very rich.

It’s a bit of a cult in my view. I have nothing against them as people at all but I simply do not care one jot about them. As a nation we are divided into three camps; Royalist who love the Royal family (apart from Harry and Meghan and of course Andrew), people like me who don’t give a toss about them and then people who despise them. 

In the latter category, I used to work with a guy who called them all “parasites”. I can understand that view, although I don’t share it.

As you can see, we do not all love the Royal family at all. 

And finally …

I hope this has cleared up a few myths about Britain and British people and provided a fresh insight into the antics of the place I call home.

Myths About Britain - Debunked

 

I was sitting in a bar in Amsterdam many years ago with an British work colleague and a Dutch man who was a customer. We were enjoying a quiet conversation when we noticed two young Dutch guys on the other side of the bar lambasting a slightly inebriated British bloke who was on his own. 

“You don’t care about your children!” declared one of the Dutch guys. “You send your children away for months to school. No wonder you people are the way you are.”

We were slightly uncomfortable hearing this but we ignored them. Eventually the British guy had had enough and left. Unfortunately, one of the Dutch guys heard us talking and the two of them immediately came over to us with a view to continuing their attack on British people. 

“So, you’re English?” he asked us. 

Thankfully, our Dutch colleague turned around and said something to them in Dutch which sounded very stern. Within a minute or two they moved away. 

“What did you say?” I asked. 

He replied:

“I told them that I lived in England for four years and everything they said was a load of rubbish. I told them that their behaviour is terrible and they are letting down Dutch people by being such arseholes.”

This was a one-off because Dutch people are usually laid back and really friendly. However, this unfortunate episode leads me on to some common misconceptions about the place I call home that simply aren’t true. Let’s dive in.

All British people send their kids away to school for months

This is, as my Dutch friend said, untrue on the whole. Also, I heard a French bloke in a restaurant in Paris saying the same thing to an American colleague once. This time I interrupted and told the American that this simply wasn’t true. 

What is true is that we do have public schools such as Harrow, Rugby and Eton (which has barfed out some Prime Ministers like Boris the Clown). Public schools are fee paying and heaped in tradition and deep in the realm of the filthy rich of our country. In public school you will find the children of royalty and nobility and extremely rich businessmen etc. because they are the only ones who can afford them.

The vast majority of kids in the UK, (93%)  go to normal state schools in the same way most other children in the world do. I have only ever met one guy who went to public school and he hated every second of it. He was a really good friend at university and he had what can only be described as a posh accent. 

Talking of accents …

There are only two British accents: the royal accent and cockney

The “royal” accent is what I would describe the accent spoken by Charlie-boy, aka King Charles III. It is known as “received pronunciation”. The cockney accent is the accent of London. The truth is that there are so many accents in the United Kingdom that listing them all would take ages.  Here’s a taster:

My accent used to be “Black Country” or “Yam Yam” which is very close to the Brummie accent in the video above spoken by Ozzy Osbourne. I used to sound similar to him because he was born about ten miles away from Walsall, where I was born. But even in those ten miles, the accent mutated and my original dialect had words that perhaps even Ozzy never used. 

You may also note that the video described that accent “being rated as Britain’s least intelligent” and since I moved away from Walsall I can vouch for this being true. When I moved to Liverpool for university, people used to say “what part of Birmingham are you from?”. I was naïve and said “How do you know where I’m from?, which may have made them think that people from Walsall and Birmingham are as stupid as the accent makes them sound.

This was of course the first time I encountered the Scouse accent (spoken by people from Liverpool). When I tried to open a bank account as a naïve 19 year old, I really struggled because I could barely understand the woman I was dealing with. She was a fully-fledged Scouser and we struggled to communicate because my accent was so strong too. She got my name wrong about ten times and she probably thought I was stupid too.

Over the years, my accent has faded and now I have what Southerners would call a neutral Northern accent. Yet occasionally, my Yam Yam accent surfaces (usually when I am ranting). There is no Mancunian in there (well possibly a hint).

We all live in London

London is the capital of England and the United Kingdom but we don’t all live there. I have been asked by an American, “So what’s it like living in London?”

Now, London is a huge city but it is over two hundred miles away from Manchester. I have friends who live there and I visit the place quite often. It takes four hours to drive there from Manchester and this is why I usually take the train, taking just over two hours. 

But I am not from London and I don’t live there. And the truth is that 90% of travelling people from the UK that you will meet do not live in London either. Some even live in different countries (see below).

That said, London is a good place to visit. I love it but I wouldn’t want to live there at all. It is too chaotic and too busy for me. 

England is the United Kingdom

I was born in England and I live in England. I was also born in the United Kingdom. But the United Kingdom is not England. 

The United Kingdom consists of four countries: England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. If, for example, you were to ask a Scot whether he was English, you may well get a rude reply. Each country has its own devolved government for local issues but the centre of government of the UK is in London, so perhaps I can understand the slight confusion when meeting somebody from the UK. The accent usually gives it away. 

I can imagine that there are other things that confuse foreigners too, especially when I mention the word "British". I am English and I am also British. Where does “British” fit in I hear you cry? Why are we also called Great Britain? 

Allow me to explain. 

See the following diagram.

The big island that contains England, Scotland and Wales is called Great Britain and people who live in all of those countries are British. There are a lot of smaller islands off the coast of Great Britain but they count as British too (for example the Isle of Man and the Isle of Wight). 

The other major island is Ireland and this comprises the Republic of Ireland and Northen Ireland. The islands of Great Britain, Ireland and all the other smaller islands make up the British Isles. From the perspective of Ireland, the Republic of Ireland (or Eire) is an independent country but Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom. Hence the full name of the United Kingdom is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. 

I hope that clears things up and makes sense.

And Finally …

There are a couple of other myths that need to be debunked so I will do that in another post. 

A Question of Balance

 

There is a saying that I’ve heard a lot of blokes say and it is this:

“Happy wife, happy life”

I think that this saying is a bit biased towards the female side. Basically, to me, it says, if you keep "‘er indoors" happy then you will get a peaceful life. Nevertheless, there has to be balance in this equation and I am all for balance. 

The idea for me is to keep each other happy. If, as a man, you are happy and your significant other is also happy then that is the ideal situation. Life isn’t as simple as that though and this is where compromise comes into that equation.

It helps if you both enjoy the same things but there comes a point when you have to do something that is not your favourite thing to do in order to keep that balance. 

I have a couple of examples of this in action. 

Recently, when were in Lanzarote, Mrs PM who has just started a new job, asked me what I was going to do when we returned. 

“I’ll pop to the cinema to see Captain America: Brave New World” I said. I can do this at any time because I am retired. I don’t mind going to the cinema on my own at all. Mrs PM surprised me and said:

“I’ll come with you if you like. I haven’t been to the cinema for ages.”

I was surprised by this because, although Mrs PM doesn’t mind Marvel films, she usually waits for them to come on the TV rather than going to the cinema. It was only when I checked the cinema listings that something clicked. 

“I see that Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy” is on as well,” I said.

Basically Mrs PM doesn’t like going to the cinema on her own at all and she really wanted to go and see it. I had seen the previous Bridget Jones movies but generally I hate romantic comedies and I would never actually watch them on TV let alone pay money to see them. 

I sighed and rather than arguing about this I decided, in the name of compromise and balance, to agree to see it with her. 

Last Sunday we went to see Captain America together and she enjoyed it. Yesterday we went to see Bridget Jones and she really enjoyed it. There were not that many blokes in the cinema at all and the ones who were, were in the same situation as I was. I did notice there were quite a few groups of three or four women all giggling and crying as the film progressed.

Did I enjoy them?

Captain America was not the greatest Marvel movie I have seen but I enjoyed it, especially when the Red Hulk appeared. 

Bridget Jones? I’ve seen them all and I have chuckled at some scenes but it was such a girl movie and I had to try to resist using the sick bag on a couple of occasions (using Newton’s Laws to express your love for somebody? Do me a favour!). The highlight for me was seeing Sally Phillips, who I really like.

I won’t see any Bridget Jones filmsa gain but in the interest of balance I have kept my thoughts to myself. The film was okay but definitely not my kind of movie. Mrs PM enjoyed it though and that is all that counts. 

Balance has also branched out to music now. During the pandemic when we were locked down in the house, we had to compromise about music. Basically Mrs PM loves dance music and I love rock, prog and heavy metal. Our tastes are quite different. However, we discovered that we have an overlap and we managed to create a joint Spotify playlist that we play very often. You can read about it here:

The Playlist 

The playlist has grown since then and we have 436 songs at the time of writing. I never thought that would happen.

In the last couple of years we have extended this idea and actually started going to gigs together, which is something I thought we would never ever do. I have been to hundreds of gigs and Mrs PM would have hated them. Nevertheless we both decided to give ourselves a taste of some bands that we wouldn’t normally see. 

And we are doing it again this year. 

In the past couple of years, I have seen Alison Goldfrapp and Sophie Ellis-Bextor (although the latter was supporting the Human League who we both like). 

In return, Mrs PM saw The Stranglers and The Foo Fighters. 

Now I do like the band Goldfrapp, and Alison Goldfrapp as a solo artist did play some of those songs but her newest album is pure dance so it was a little out of my comfort zone. But it was fun. We both loved the Stranglers though and Mrs PM was slightly out of her comfort zone with the Foo Fighters.

This year I have a few gigs planned but Mrs PM is only coming to two of them. 

The first is a real blast from my past and hers: Electric Light Orchestra, one of my favourite bands when I was a child. We both love them.

The second is Nine Inch Nails. I jokingly asked her if she would ever see them and she told me yes. They are definitely my type of band and the only thing she might like about them is their more mellow and electronic side. She likes this song for example. 

But she will have to put up with this:

I’m not too concerned though because there are a lot of different styles in between plus a few more mellow songs they may perform.

It might just challenge the balance and compromise but I like to think that I can cope if she doesn’t. I am a Libran and the scales are the symbol of my star sign. I don’t believe in all of that nonsense but I do believe in balance and I will try to achieve that no matter what. Let’s just hope she doesn’t hate Nine Inch Nails to the point where I have to see somebody dreadful (and believe me – there are many terrible songs in Mrs PM’s collection).

The gig is in June and she has asked me for a Nine Inch Nails Spotify play list that will give her a taste of what to expect.

Wish me luck.

Coming Home

Mrs PM and I have recently returned from a week long break in Playa Blanca, Lanzarote in the Canary Islands. We were meant to go to Malaysia but Mrs PM’s job situation scuppered that somewhat and forced us to postpone that wonderful trip until 2026. The good news is that the situation is now resolved but sadly it was too late to organise that trip to the Far East. Instead we opted for a short European trip to get some winter sun.

Whenever I am abroad, especially in winter, I barely think of Manchester. As we walked along the promenade after breakfast, listening to the Atlantic Ocean lapping up on the sandy shores and rocks, the dreadful rainy cold weather that we have to endure in February in the UK is so far from my brain that Manchester may as well be on another planet. 

Even the evenings are beautiful and clear in Lanzarote, if not a little chilly. All that means is that I have to wear long trousers instead of shorts as we dine within earshot of the waves. And talking about planets, we actually managed to see a couple of them with the naked eye. Mrs PM mentioned that the news had an article about all the planets being aligned. I love a good sunset and as we were sitting in a bar watching our star slowly descend behind the horizon, seemingly into the horizon, I used an app on my smartphone to find the planets – the app is called Sky Map and well worth a download. Here are a couple of sunset pictures I took.

Mercury was close to the sun but invisible and a bright spot nearby turned out to be Venus. As the sun disappeared and the sky became darker, other points of light in the firmament became visible and, with the aid of Sky Map, I could clearly identify Saturn, which looked a little dull compared to Venus but still there. The app also told me that just below Venus but perhaps too far away to see with the naked eye was Neptune. 

As I moves around the sky, I then identified and saw Jupiter and Uranus. Jupiter was perfectly clear and Uranus, like Saturn, was quite dull but just about visible. 

The only one I couldn’t find was Mars. 

It would have been amazing to have seen this exact sky with a telescope from the desert where there is no light pollution to shield the planets. I remember a trip to Barbados where we had a little session with an astronomer who used a telescope to find Saturn for us. That was amazing and I could even see the rings. 

On our last morning, we had a leisurely breakfast and had time to take a walk along the promenade for a coffee before having to return to the airport for our flight home. I enjoyed sitting by the ocean, listening to the waves and enjoying the clear blue skies and the sun reflecting off glistening turquoise water. 

I felt totally relaxed. 

About eight hours later we had landed at Manchester Airport and were in a cab, driving through the rainy cold streets of my home city. I looked through the rain spotted windows of the cab and the sky was dark and covered in clouds that hid any stars and planets. Part of me was disappointed and I craved sitting by the beach, stargazing while listening to the calm sea. Mrs PM was excited because she was starting her new job the following day and she was also looking forward to seeing her “babies”, that is our two domineering masters, our cats Ziggy and Star(dust).

I allowed my mind to briefly return the scene from eight hours ago, the taste of the coffee, the warm breeze, the sound of the ocean, the colours, the people. 

And then I realised that in a few moments I would be home. 

My home is my castle, the place where I feel most comfortable. It’s like my central office, even though I don’t work anymore and I love being there. My brief longing for Lanzarote gradually faded and once I had braved the rain, entered my house and unpacked, I had the chance to sit down with a cup of tea and think about my trip. Star(dust) put her two front paws on my stomach and stared at me as she purred. She then lay down next to me, clinging to my leg like a feline leech and fell asleep. Ziggy was sitting next to Mrs PM.

I then started thinking about our next trip to Malta in May, where we will be taking Mrs PM’s mum for a celebration of her 80th birthday. I will once again be beside the sea with a chance to explore Valetta. It will be warm sunny and in terms of weather, a million miles from Manchester. 

Mrs PM broke my reverie.

“I’m glad to be home,” she said. 

And, to be perfectly honest, so was I.