Pros And Cons Of Bringing Back Extinct Species
Colossal Biosciences claims it has brought back the dire wolf, a species that went extinct thousands of years ago, by editing the genes of gray wolves. The Onion examines the pros and cons of resurrecting extinct species.
4 Men Caught Smuggling Hundreds Of Ants
Four ant smugglers pleaded guilty after being caught by the Kenyan Wildlife Service attempting to sneak hundreds of giant African harvester ants out of the country, which are valued by some exotic animal dealers at over $200 each. What do you think?
Revealing a concerning decades-long decline in academic achievement for the demographic, a New York University study published Monday found that handmade boy marionettes were falling behind their peers in school. “When analyzing standardized test scores across elementary and middle school students, it’s clear that little boy marionettes hand-carved out of wood are not keeping pace with their fellow classmates,” said the study’s lead author, Professor Liam Faulk, who explained that the lagging aptitude of the wooden boy puppets was likely attributable to factors such as frequently skipping class to visit the Land of Toys, tangled strings impeding their hands from writing, and being raised in single Italian woodworker households.
Scientists Identify Most Bitter-Tasting Substance
Food scientists discovered that Postia stiptica, a type of mushroom found in the U.K. and Ireland, contains a chemical identified as the most bitter-tasting substance ever found. What do you think?
In a stunning discovery that linked all 1.4 million residents to a grizzly unsolved cold case, the U.S. Department of Justice escalated its attacks on Maine Friday when it allegedly planted a gun on the state. “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi said as she held up the weapon with a rubber glove, adding that the Beretta 92FS pistol—which had allegedly been used in several high-profile murders, including a recent triple homicide—had the state population’s DNA all over it.
Appearing visibly giddy as they released to the public a new barrage of information about the deceased couple’s living conditions, personal lives, and private health issues, local authorities announced Friday that even they were not sure why they kept sharing details of Gene Hackman and his wife Betsy Arakawa’s deaths. “We have no idea why, but every time we find a new detail about their tragic passing, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, we have to tell everyone!’” said Ben Chavez of the Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office, admitting that he felt compelled by a force he couldn’t understand to continue painting a timeline of the couple’s last moments, despite investigators having known for nearly two months that both died of natural causes with no evidence of foul play.
Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People In Face
Explaining that the tight-knit community was built upon a strong foundation of trust, residents of this small Midwestern locale told reporters Wednesday that their town was the kind where everyone leaves their chastity belts unlocked. “Everybody knows everybody in a place this size, so when my father leaves he doesn’t even bother to lock up my chastity belt,” said 22-year-old Amesville resident Mildred Hunneman, adding that having neighbors slip in and out as they pleased was one of the great joys of their slower pace of life