RIGHT HERE ON TWITTER WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT

They aren’t wrong. Fuck men who don’t reciprocate on their oral sex >:/

Gotta give to get back, I don’t care how royal you think yo ass is

At the surface of it, this is a good rule of thumb. But there’s some really tricky sides to reciprocation reasoning in the bedroom.

- If you’re not willing to do it, don’t expect it from someone else. That doesn’t just mean “go down on your damn girlfriend if you want her to suck your lollipop”. It means if you’re grossed out by the thought of cum in your mouth, don’t fucking expect her to swallow. (Besides snowballing is mad hot so you’re missing out.)

- You cannot go down on someone with the expectation of reciprocation. That’s fucking rude and manipulative. You either negotiate beforehand or you accept that you acted out of interest in giving and any reciprocation is just a bonus.

- Sometimes one of you is super into something and the other person isn’t so keen. At that point it’s really questionable to call reciprocation an equal exchange. Be sensible.

There are acts that I enjoy being on the receiving end of but am not interested in giving (it’s a not-quite-hard limit for me). It took a lot of convincing for my boyfriend to get through to me that he does it because he enjoys it, and that I don’t need to worry about any expectations of reciprocation. That experience has opened my eyes to how the reciprocation principle can actually do harm as well as good. More good than harm overall, but it’s still something I think we need to be aware of when this sort of thing goes around.

TL;DR: The problem is with expecting something from your partner that you’re not willing to reciprocate, not with not going tit for tat in the bedroom.