WILL you get out of bed Never mind your aching head, Me mother is here for tea Now it's ten past three I know you and her don't agree You could put your sickly face on While knawing on a scone Me mother shouted up the stairs Just leave him there He's the worst for wear He looks dire what a mess He's like that left over turkey Nowt but a skinful and legless Last neat he danced roond the club floor Ee, I couldn't look any more I divvent see what you admire The only thing swingin Was his beer belly spare tyre He's like the Angel of the North Never puts his hands in his pocket For all its worth He couldn't get any worse Mother stop it Just call a truce While your in me hoose I knew I'd get the blame It's always the same Always the way Every Boxing Day.
Overnight sleeper A Norwegian boozer had a rude awakening when he tried to sleep off a skinful in the back of his car in Oslo - and woke up 200 miles away in Sweden.
They frequently had a skinful and Melville would come home hoarse from singing, an aspect of his life that was quite different from his activities with the new people in the art-lark.
He added: "Over the festive period I've not had a beer just in case I was needed but the weather put paid to those notions, maybe I should have had a skinful!