pillock

So, please, let's not be pillocks and ruin the fun.

Standing in the rain clutching my bag containing 99p kitchen rolls (a bargain pack of six) and a packet of low fat cereal bars (that diet again) I felt like Ms Duffy's "total, utter, absolute, Grade A pillock".

The Jackson Pollock Pillock on the Plinth is the best idea so far but I welcome any other suggestions.

My wife took one look and said: "You look a pillock."

Forget Gazza's mercurial goal, it was Gary McAllister's penalty and that spoonbending pillock Uri Geller claiming he moved the ball psychically just before he took it.

THIS week's esteemed PISH award (Pillock Is Skint Here) is donning a feather coat and strutting like a supermodel to the catwalks of Planet Kanye.

THE Wimbledon men's final raised more questions than it answered - namely, how big a pillock is Boris Becker and just when did Roger Federer become so useless?

He's a pillock; leaves the last sheet on the toilet paper so he doesn't have to change the roll.

This is the pillock who racially abuses fellow players, dives better than Tom Daly and bites opponents.

The councillors, politicians and every other elitist pillock I hope become addicted to gambling.

But what this plummy-mouthed, public-school pillock lacks in political stature, he certainly makes up for in sheer brass neck.

"Sugar then came back with the reply, 'It is me, you pillock', and when I asked him to prove it he sent a photo of himself holding up a piece of paper which said, 'You are a pillock'.

At its inevitable onset one possible menu suggestion could be Devilled Pillock. Take one half-baked politician stewed in brandy and stuffed with waffle, and grill until thoroughly heated.

Beasley then takes the novices' handicap hurdle on Irish Antics for Charles Cooper, follows that by taking the two-and-ahalf-mile hurdle on Cham for Frank Cundell and he wraps up the day when Pillock's Green, trained by Fred Rimell, wins the juvenile hurdle.

From @TerrierBlog: A Huddersfield fan standing up to belt out "stand up if you love the Town", followed by an OAP saying "sit down you pillock" and hitting him with his walking stick.