porridge

No would there be anything to describe or to explain, remark on, interpret, or complain about--just a kind of porridgy oneness.

A 12- week trial on the most sceptical of volunteers - beauty editors - left thighs slimmer and cellulite measurably thinner and less porridgy. For visible results in a month, combine with exercise, lots of water, body brushing and a lump-busting cream like Sisley Phyto Sculptural, pounds 57, Phytomer BodyDeclic, pounds 23, and Carole Franck Gel Aux Plantes, pounds 19.75.

Sharp drainage and poorish soil is what I'll need if the wee Mediterranean rock roses, thymes and santolinas are to stand a chance of survival in my porridgy soil.

The good news is that we can lose our porridgy patches - if we follow the right lifestyle.