the hippocampus

some progress & unfired additions

Brb replacing "I should" with "I have the option/opportunity to" in my internal monologue re: beating myself up over shit that needs doing. Let's see if that works.

It actually really did help and I did the laundry and cat boxes. Guess I'll keep trying that one.

THE UNEXPECTED SEQUEL:

"I should go do something useful."

• The flat statement offers no direction; it does not lead to action, only self-recrimination.
• The implied judgment of yourself as not currently being "useful" is toxic. It tells you that you are being bad and lazy.
• My mom died in 2006, but sometimes it's like I hear her voice.....
• "Useful" is ill-defined and an easily-moved goalpost.
• The idea of people needing to be "useful" is the voice of oppression. Lots of -isms hide there. Including (Tim Curry voice) capitalism.
• No really, literally this is the voice of everyone who has ever guilt-tripped or browbeaten you for not meeting their standards. Every parent, every boss, every teacher, every gatekeeper. It is the voice that harmed them so much they had to pass it on rather than reckon with it.

"What could I do to help myself out later?"

• Is a dialogue you can engage with. Open-ended.
• Properly frames any action as being helpful to yourself. It is a kindness. Kindness is important.
• Sets you up to appreciate what you did later on when you say "Dang, that folded towel was real nice, made me feel real good pulling it out of the laundry closet. Thanks, past me!" Reinforcement!!!
• Doesn't put you on the spot right now. You could just as easily ask "What can I do an hour from now to help myself out later?" as "What can I do now?" You can give yourself that beautiful airlock time to mentally prepare.
• Being helpful, even slightly, even to no-one but yourself, is better for the spirit than being "useful". Capitalism doesn't give a shit about helpful. It wants to use you, and it teaches you that if you are not being useful, you are by necessity, useless. Our culture, based on capitalism, implants this toxic mindset in us in myriad ways, and we carry it into our private lives where it does not belong and we weaponize it against ourselves. Never think that your value is determined by usefulness. Even when you can't do anything, you aren't useless. The concept of usefulness/uselessness is an idea that means a lot when applied to objects. It has zero meaning when applied to human beings. Expunge it from your vocabulary. Do not use it for yourself, or for others. Ever.
• Fuck capitalism. Be a comrade to yourself.
• Don't be my mom. (Dead but also a bitch.)

Third revelation:

"I have to [blank]."

Not as good as:

"It is important that I [blank]."

"I have the opportunity to [blank]" sometimes isn't enough for tasks I truly hate and WILL avoid. How to overcome that? Certainly not by making it seem even worse by turning it into something I don't have a choice about!

I don't like scooping the cat litter or taking out the trash or brushing my teeth, but it is important that I do. "Have to" is not as helpful to me because it just says I have an obligation. Even if that is true, which it often is, I hate that phrase. "Have to." Ugh.

"It is important" reminds me of why I am doing it. So my cats have a clean potty. So my kitchen isn't stinky. So I get a good grade in Teeth.

I thought of this today and came to look and update this post. Now I see a couple people have mentioned something like this in comments. And a lot of folks are talking about the "shoulds" and their therapists and their personal growth or resolutions and it is so validating for me to see that.

I don't check notes ever, I had no idea this got so many of them. I'm very glad it did and I hope it continues to do so.

For everyone making the change, I'm proud of you.

For everyone who tried and kind of lapsed, here's your reminder: you can always dust yourself off and go back to applying this as best you can.

Advertisement Adversaries #3: "Monthly Check-In Spread"

Hello, and welcome to Advertisement Adversaries! I'm Aese, a witch of many years with a background in marketing/advertising and business writing/editing. This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website.

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Keep reading

Advertisement Adversaries #3: "Monthly Check-In Spread"

Hello, and welcome to Advertisement Adversaries! I'm Aese, a witch of many years with a background in marketing/advertising and business writing/editing. This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website.

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Keep reading

Hey guys, help me be reasonable about something

Run out of juice: can't make the connections any more, get magical fatigue, feel disconnected or turned off

Continuously: one reading after the other, or a very long spread, with short breaks or no breaks.

(if you voted, pls consider rebageling!)

hidden in plain sight

Lightning ⚡ + Tornado 🌪️

2023 (left) vs. 2025 (right)