one of my favorite things about Lawrence is how well he works as a representation of the church’s passiveness. It works even better as the character whose perspective we follow in an electoral setting where the whole thing is about making a choice how he spends most of the time carefully portraying himself as neutral and diplomatic, so much that his homily surprises him for how out of his comfort zone it is and gets criticized for literally calling for people to doubt. He also doesn’t directly confront anyone? He acts diplomatically even with Tedesco and exposes Tremblay passively and only after he starts seeming like an actual candidate. When Tedesco starts saying nonsense he looks with disgust but it’s Aldo and Vincent who actually speak up and confront him. Just shows that he’s not exactly great at or brave enough to try standing up for anything and that’s why he would’ve never actually won
Ok listen. After several years of Innocent's papacy somehow the info about him being intersex and specifically having xx chromosomes became public. Conservatives are furious. There's an insanely huge, schism-worthy scandal, so vicious that at some point Vincent actually resigned. (It's not like he's actually forced to resign or feels too much pressure, he was just dreaming about resignation for years but that's not public information.) So anyway Cardinal Lawrence resigned too immediately after and actually left the clergy altogether; some people think he did it as a protest. Thomas and Vincent were planning to get married quietly, just the simplest possible office marriage, but Aldo said "Ok guys I know you want to get married in church too. I can do that for you. Screw the dogma, you're getting your blessings" and obviously that leaked to the press and Tedesco had a breakdown on twitter for 3 days, screaming and demanding Aldo to be excommunicated (Sabbadin obviously joined this discussion and said Tedesco should have been excommunicated 2 Popes ago actually). Aldo was going to make an official answer in insta but instead actually posted 15 videos in Instagram stories, started giving theological explanation of why he decided to bless gay marriage but quickly switched his explanation to be more about... kindness, humanism, eliminating suffering and also something about Tedesco lacking wisdom and kindness to understand what. By the end of the 12th video you hear Vincent asking if Aldo is ok because he's getting emotional and Aldo quickly turns around and you can see a glimpse of Thomas and Vincent, calm and smiling.
Vincent sometimes posts selfies in his insta, but barely replies to comments. Tedesco stares at these selfies sometimes, trying to understand if he finally lost his marbles or if Thomas actually uses eyeliner. Vincent looks very pretty with jakaranda petals in his hair on photos from CDMX.
One of Vincent's acts as supreme Pontiff was to plaster the papal office full with plants of any kind so it doesn't look so empty and devoid of the Lord's touch (and he doesn't feels so excluded from the outside and lonely anymore) and somehow word got out of his favour for plants and now at every visit and every meeting head of states and any prominent person gives him all kind of rare and exotic plants to him. And he loves them, all of them. But it's getting out of hand. So the Casa Santa Marta gets decorated in them. Oh and every visiting cardinal can choose to take one. Lawrence takes a plant home like every other week and it genuinely helped him with his faith and prayer. Ray took a few from Lawrence because it started to become more of a burden for him and they now help to ease his anxieties after a long day as he takes precise care of them. Tedesco was as always reluctant to take one but settled on a Venus flytrap, that feeds off his negative energy as he rants to it in his office in Venice. He also started to catch flies just to feed it and he started to view it as a sort of twisted child of his, not that he would admit to it. At all. The last one who had the courage to do so ended somehow dunked into a canal.
something that I struggle with when it comes to conclave fic is the gaping sense of distance each character has from each other. the film starts with Lawrence discovering that he was the last to be called even though we know from Tremblay's admission he was very close to the late Holy Father (although I'd take that with a grain of salt because Tremblay's a slimy one with his words). We have that awful silence where decorum and tradition wins over a grief-stricken Janusz who struggles with the pope's ring. Even Lawrence and Bellini, who are ostensibly the closest two cardinals we see, have their strange conversation. "we used to play quite often in the evenings." "who won?" why are they having this conversation now? is this not the sort of detail that close, long time friends who live and work closely would already know about each other? what about when Bellini tells Lawrence about Tedesco? "You have no idea how bad it became" why wouldn't Lawrence know about this? What was he doing that whole time?
The Vatican seems like it would be the sort of place where people would just get used to each other. After all, you've got people who basically live there, who are in and about at all hours of the day, working closely together for years and years. And yet there's such isolation to each individual character. Their actions and words are so heavily bound by tradition that every flash of true emotion reads as a fracture, a crack in the walls. There's such a profound loneliness to life in the Vatican that comes through that my brain rebels against because it is just so fucking sad to conceptualise living like that. Like damn let these guys be friends to one another, you know?
oh my GOD Vincent arriving at the Vatican jetlagged exhausted stressed out of his mind. He's not on the list and he's really just slipping in right under the line because they're officially sequestered from 6. He's come all this way and he's about to be refused entry because nobody knows who the fuck he is and he's smart enough to recognise that the security staff are preparing to have him officially escorted off the premises. Cardinal Lawrence is off trying to speak to Woźniak so nobody can find him to confirm. Mandorff's the only one around, and luckily he comes over to de-escalate the situation because finally Vincent can try to explain. Yes he is a cardinal. No there are no records, he was created in pectore. Yes he is the archbishop of Kabul. Yes, that Kabul. No, he's not Afghan, he's Mexican. Mandorff wants to ask more questions but security are getting antsy and this poor man is dead on his feet, and there's just some gut instinct that tells him that no impostor would show up like this, that an impostor would be better prepared. And for a man who's devoted enough of his life to studying the scriptures, there's just something about turning away an exhausted, luggageless man without any proper documentation to his name that doesn't sit quite right. The first act of faith for the conclave.
- Thomas Lawrence, 3 months after the Conclave, suddenly finds a letter from the Late Pope, and feels his heart sinking terribly because OF COURSE it means there's another Late Pope's plan to uncover some more Church secrets and shuffle high ranked clergy; but when Lawrence finally overcomes panic and opens the letter, it's just the Late Pope asking for forgiveness for the whole mess, please tell Vincent and Aldo I'm very sorry, I love you all but I had no choice, hug Vincent for me, I'm so sorry
the morning of the homily Ray arrives at Vincent's room nice and early with his chasuble and mitre and everything else he has to wear for Cardinal Lawrence's homily and Vincent gives all the garments this confused blank-eyed stare and Ray just smiles and politely asks if his Eminence needs assistance in getting dressed. the situation very quickly devolves into the equivalent of two teenage girls getting ready for prom. They are giggling and twirling in their robes and Ray is giving Vincent pointers on how to walk while balancing that stupid fucking hat on his head and Vincent is mourning his comfortable Normal Person clothes he used to be able to wear in Kabul and Ray is like oh wait until we get to summer and we start the Fainting Tally. If I were a gambling man, your Eminence - which I'm not, because that would be a sin, but if I were - my money would be on Cardinal Lawrence. Not that you heard that from me.
Pope Innocent outfits in my head are basically like
Year 1: simple white cassock, nothing ostentatious, he’s uncomfortable with anything richly beaded or embroidered even for ceremonial purposes. What’s the point?
Year 2: he understands the politics of the papal clothing a bit better at this point and the way what he wears can make a statement. Opts for an undyed cassock. Thinking of Colm Meaney in DS9 asking for a uniform cut specifically so that he can roll his sleeves up to work. I think Vincent opts for a cassock he can roll his sleeves up in.
Year 3 onwards: no matter what he does people are going to complain and criticise him and that’s fine because he will always act on what he believes is the right course of action. Fuck tradition. If he can’t get out and work without being chased down about getting his clothes dirty, if he can’t run and climb and dig holes in community gardens and serve food and wash and cook and fix then fuck it all. Shirt and trousers. Clerical collar. Work clothes . Who cares. Who fucking cares. What sort of statement are you trying to make with your choice in garments you holiness. That I want to get the job done.
janusz woźniak making pierogi in the vatican kitchens he charmed his way in with flowers for the nuns and he's usually like their weird uncle anyway so they allow it so long as he doesn't get in the way. a little while later a very very flustered ray o'malley stops tedesco in the hallway to let him know he has a floury handprint on his ass. the gendarmes show up at some point because they're trying to find out who keeps stealing flowers out of the fucking gardens
We're 29 days into Lent. By this point:
Vincent Benítez is a little lean, but he's remaining cheerful.
Thomas Lawrence has lost 30 pounds and shows no sign of stopping. He is sometimes seeing visions. He has learned from many previous Lents not to mention this to the gang. He's only fainted twice but Ray won't stop fretting.
No matter what he gave up (sex or gossiping) Ray O'Malley is feverishly pent-up one way or the other, and he's taking it out on His Eminence by being half-frantic with worry. He is constantly trying to sneak high-calorie anything into him. Best results came from a very hearty lentil soup with chorizo, from His Holiness. His Eminence ate a bowlful two weeks ago.
Cardinal Sabbadin has had 4 bottles of good wine. Sundays are always feast days and therefore a break, look it up.
Aldo Bellini has given up. You can't be Secretary of State without swearing. It's impossible. He will not jeopardize the trust placed in him, no, not even for a fast. Instead he is doing a swear jar and donating the proceeds to Congregatio Jesu. So far he's collected 140€.
Joshua Adeyemi changed course mid-stream and has given up secular music. He misses opera so bad it isn't even funny. He has purchased twelve 1mL cologne samples; mixed results.
Joseph Tremblay has given up Candy Crush. He has purged himself of it. He has in the meanwhile developed a debilitating addiction to 2048. It's because he always on he damn phone.
Goffredo Tedesco has started writing tweets on small scraps of paper and littering them out the window or stapling them to the drapes. He will not be defeated by this! Yet he has a poster's soul.
Sister Agnes has caught a few nuns huffing Sharpies just to feel something. One of these years she's going to take a spring break.
Janusz Woźniak gave up around Day 4 and is actually on spring break.
It’s Lent!
- Vincent Benítez really enjoys a fast now and then, so he makes the most of it. He abstains from meat the whole time, not just Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and Regular Fridays. He also does tend to get a little Ramadan on his Lent, the influence rubbed off, so his one big meal when he does eat is either before dawn or after sunset.
- Thomas Lawrence takes a Just Dehydrated Water For Me, Thanks, approach. He tries to live just on the host and a sip of wine. Category is gaunt. If Ray doesn’t come around to feed him an eyedropper full of sugar water every two hours, he starts listing gracefully from the ankles up and ends up quietly collapsing against walls. He’s got cilices strapped to both thighs. He grows a bit of a beard. Hearts flutter, which if he knew would make him miserable, because he doesn’t want to encourage profligacy in anyone during this most holy season. When he snapped and ran away from his responsibilities that one time, he ran to Lindisfarne to try to starve and grow lichen and become one with the ruins, so this is all a part of the same urge.
- Cardinal Sabbadin gives up cheap wine.
- Aldo Bellini gives up swearing. This makes his Secretary of State job much harder because there are many world leaders who don’t like priests, particularly those who don’t call a person a “motherfucker” when they’re being a motherfucker. Aldo asks one of his assistants, ideally a nun or laywoman, to be the one to jump on and complement his sentence with a good solid “shithead” when needed.
- In happier times, Janusz Woźniak would give up sex. It made every touch between him and His Holiness sizzle. Now he’s going to prioritize giving away, such as making sure His Holiness (Dead)’s innumerable godchildren have remembrances of him, and possibly focusing harder on prayer. Gotta do something. Cardinal Sabbadin’s suggestion he give away damaging information about the right wingers to the press has gone ignored so far, but who knows for how much longer.
- Joseph Tremblay gives up Candy Crush. Or tries.
- Joshua Adeyemi gives up cheap wine, too. He also commits to finishing every drop of the almost-empty bottles in his cologne collection before buying new.
- Sister Agnes gives up watching women’s jiu jitsu highlight reels at 2 a.m.
- Goffredo Tedesco gives up social media. Some years it’s a cakewalk. Some years he thinks he’d rather pull out his eye teeth. Depends on how many fights he’s been picking. He used to be more strict and tried to give up wine, and the staff of the Patriarch’s palace staged an intervention to get him back on the sauce. Nicotine? Forget it. We’ll not even get into the time he tried to give up masturbation.
- Like Janusz Woźniak before him, Ray O’Malley annually gives up sex. Tens of archbishops are inconsolable.
still not over lawrence's choice not to share the names of the cardinals who accepted tremblay's bribes.
a very generous spiritual shepherding choice that gives them a wide range of possibilities for repenting, atoning, finding their way to grace.
a sensible decision that keeps the conclave from turning into an outright trial and exposition circus. also that.
it certainly makes it clear that tremblay has no incentive to snitch on them, which is, again, a grace for tremblay, who doesn't dig himself/his reputation/his eternal soul deeper into a traitorous well. and, again: less division, less bitterness.
but after the conclave. first of all, he literally did break the papal seal. secondly, going 'confidential info for the pope's eyes only' on the biggest corruption scandal in the vatican is going to be very tricky to pull off. even without getting into the possibility of tremblay confessing their names, and assuming tremblay's fate is decided entirely by innocent xiv, whatever that ends up being.
there is the tricky situation that, by all means, and by every sensible measure, cardinal lawrence is sitting in a gigantic blackmail goldmine, and everyone is just sort of letting him get away with it.
a bad look for the new administration. a really really bad look for the new administration, if cardinal lawrence is kept on dean of the college/secretary of state/the pope's confessor/the pope's assistant/keeps existing in general.
not for lack of hoping god would smite him, in all fairness.
what are the guilty cardinals up to, in the immediate period after innocent's election? clearing their accounts, possibly. running off. not running off to try not to be suspicious. praying. considering poisoning the new pope. considering poisoning lawrence.
one of them at least gives all their money, bribes included, to a refugee support network, in the hopes of sucking up to his new holiness and/or saving his soul.
a few of them, i like to think, do come forward of their own volution. a few, even just one, kneel in front of the new pope, after taking confession with the dean.
not, of course, that the dean doesn't know already their names, their faces, the contents in their bank accounts - but they want, perhaps, to give their side of the story, too.
be heard, forgiven, absolved, sent to innocent's office not just because they must, but because it is their atonement. with that little dose of courage that comes from obligation, and guidance - because they were weak and their weakness is not singular but symptomatic, and to go forward it has to come to the light.
some of them might even want it to. the church is what happens after, for everyone.
really, everyone.
'i trust cardinal lawrence implicitly,' innocent xiv declares in official statement. 'he acted according to the principles of the universal church and christ's teachings.'
'that's lovely,' says the patriarch of venice, and the curia, and the catholic press, and the rest of the press too. 'who even are you, by the way?'
this is of course putting aside the possibility of a clever cardinal putting their copy of the reports against a really really really bright flashlight and squinting really really hard.
all in all i'd give it five days before the scandalous finger-pointing really hits a high point.
and this, i argue, is how thomas lawrence can still get to retire. in disgrace and possibly defrocked, sacrificing himself by throwing his whole career and calling on a sword for vincent benítez papacy - in short, a chivalrous dream come true.
he's fine! he's found god again in self-sacrifice, he has begun to make peace with new forms of prayer through listening, paying attention, acting.
whatever happens next for him may not be in the curia or even the church, but he has a renewed trust in people, a faith that striving to do better is possible, despite the consequences, and worthwhile, regardless of the consequences.
besides, vincent has asked to call him sometimes, and has already sent him a number of photos of the turtles in the pond with very sweet messages. they're doing voice call prayer sessions, they're alright.
don't worry about him. worry about cardinal loreto, who is hiding out in his grandparents' old abandoned homestead to avoid going on trial for taking bribes and might be eaten alive by all the rats in the cellar.
choosing to believe lawrence and o'malley are like this all the time.
by which i mean: caught in a series of investigations led by the invisible guiding hand of the pope's machination, with the intent of asserting order and integrity in the church.
it's just that, usually? he had a lot of plausible deniability. built-in defense mechanism, in the shape of: his holiness told him to.
this has been ongoing for forever. it's just that usually the investigations are much lower stakes, and there is a thin veil of respectable procedure to it.
there had to be a thin veil of respectable procedure to it, otherwise lawrence goes a tad nauseous about it.
as someone extremely married to a belief in good faith, the cognitive dissonance of actively looking for cracks in the curia and dishonest conduct had to be carefully balanced with the fact that, actually, he was really, really good at looking for cracks in the curia and dishonest conduct.
that was no trouble, however, as his late holiness knew how best to make use of him regardless.
romcom thing where, in the early 00s, fathers benítez and lawrence get stuck in the same airport during a long storm when all flights are cancelled.
benítez fell asleep in a quiet corner and lawrence feels obliged to shakes him awake when the sound system starts rattling new urgent information for a flight his bag his tagged for.
and the rest is history. lawrence keeps becoming involved in managing crisis among fellow passengers in his flight, from helping them fill out paperwork to being pressed to go on quests around the airport to find someone's brother's lost rosary.
they spend three days sharing long conversation in the kitchy airport chapel with the cheap pink candles. drinking mediocre coffee and eating overpriced chips. immediate chemistry.
lots of sideways looks and sharing of jackets as blankets. talking the long hours away.
both of them are very tired, and very grateful for the comfort and quick friendship they find in each other.
there's still a corruption in the curia sideplot plot, somehow. also a thing with a lost turtle where they both find it from opposite sides of the aisle and meet in the middle to hold it together. it's very moving. take my word for it.
in the last day, benítez, who has been helping with translation in a number of languages, advocates for a family in front of immigration services and security and deescalates the situation. if lawrence had not been in love already, that would have clinched it.
lawrence is bound for rome and benítez is going to staying in touch is not a possibility. they pray for each other still, years later, when cardinal lawrence shakes awake the familiar strange slumped in sister agnes' office.
I was thinking of a very specific dynamic for Thomas and Vincent post conclave
Vincent is having a very hard time with this whole pope business, he's a man of action, of getting his hands dirty, not of politics and speaking and making statements to thousands if not millions.
He's also very lonely and isolated, many popes had friends and established relationships when entering the papacy, they knew who to trust and had some personal support.
Vincent has none of that, enters it all as a stranger to everyone, if he had friends he left them behind in every place he's been and gone, never really put down roots anywhere and in the Vatican it really does come back and bite him in the worst way possible.
Vincent becomes very despondent and depressed, manages to function because he always has but he sinks deep into this darkness that comes out when he's alone. Finds solace in prayer and that's all he does alone, no hobbies no none work related conversations, just praying and meditating, his personal prayers become more and more desperate and sad.
And then Thomas is there, faith restored, vows to himself to protect this pope and support him in any way he can. And Vincent really admires Thomas and relies on his advice and help but he doesn't feel that it's within his right to impose on Thomas in any personal capacity, Thomas is a senior member of the cardinals who frankly should have been pope instead of him. So he doesn't let Thomas in on his troubles. And Thomas is well meaning but he's a tad oblivious to anything emotionally related that isn't smacking him right in the face.
Eventually he would notice Vincent's depression when it becomes too much for him to hide, maybe he gets thinner again, maybe he starts the day with red eyes after sleepless nights of praying while crying quietly.
And when he figures it out all hell breaks loose. And by hell I mean Thomas Lawrence becomes the most mom friend you've ever met. He is not going to leave Vincent alone. He starts chatting with him about random books he's enjoyed, asks him about music he likes, gets him a personal cell phone to send him pictures of turtles. He offers to sit with him for post work tea time, just to chat and relax while upholding the sacred rites of the English Tea Ritual. He turns up his humor capabilities to 11, suddenly cardinal Lawrence is a court jester at every meeting? And he has English humor so 80% of the curia is baffled by him. But not Vincent. Vincent cracks small smiles at first that eventually turn to full blown laughter, Vincent starts taking more walks outside so he can send Thomas pictures too. Vincent starts listening to music again so he can talk about it with Thomas. Thomas slowly but gently pulls him up, enough so that one day he can tentatively offer Vincent to help him, be an ear to his trouble, be a shoulder he can lean on if he needs to.
And Vincent breaks down crying at that. He clutches onto Thomas and cries and cries and it's ugly and full of snot and cathartic and he's not alone anymore.
Thomas can't carry his papacy but he can carry Vincent