A lot of what's out there is just a repeat of other books with a thing or two added in. This book is really refreshing in the amount of original content and the power of its ideas. My favorite was his discussion of how to find freedom from social restrictions- I copied and pasted a little of my notes to give you a sense of this book:
"Whatever your social standards, the best place to find like minded people is the same place where you would most like to be. If you crave companionship that's more intellectual, you might try courses in the subjects that have always interested you. And since you could run into potential friends almost anywhere, it's important to display your standards openly and honestly wherever you are. Only then can others recognize you as a kindred soul.
For if you wear a socially acceptable mask, those whom you seek will walk right by you. And those whom you attract with the mask will only add to the pressure that you be something other than yourself.
If you make your actions and words consistent with who you are and what you admire, you'll know which people are compatible- just by their reactions to you. Those who disapprove will seek someone different to be with, and those who have standards similar to your will react favorably toward you. In effect, you let others tell you about themselves through their reactions to what you are.
So it's important to reveal yourself as you really are. If you're ambitious and show it, people who appreciate ambition are more likely to notice you. If you are careful to respect the property and lives of others and clearly you want the same treatment in return, you're less likely to wind up with thieving or freeloading friends.
When you act as you want to act, you stand a far greater chance of meeting the people who could be valuable to you. When you let others determine your conduct, you acquire nothing but restrictions.
Many people hide their identity, tolerate restrictions, and remain in bad relationships because they're afraid of being lonely. But I wonder what they mean by lonely. Aren't they very lonely when they deal with people who don't understand and appreciate them?
What you are is the most valuable asset you possess for finding others and the best way to find those people is to advertise your real self and by being honest about who you are.
No matter where you go, you never know whether someone you're seeking might see you. What a shame it would be if that person passed you by because you didn't reveal the qualities that both you and she admire most.
To reveal those qualities, you have to be willing to accept the disapproval of those you aren't seeking. It takes courage to overcome the embarrassment, self-consciousness, and even ridicule that might result from honest exposure of your nature- but that's the only way to form the relationships you seek. The kind that are far more rewarding than what you've tolerated in the past.
The best method of advertising is simply to live the way you want to live. Furthermore, your greatest pleasures will be those you experience when you can be yourself completely. Only then will you be free to enjoy every good thing the experience has to offer you."
Overall, an outstanding book. I feel like an entire weight has been lifted from my shoulders and new clarity brought to my life. That's what a good book should do for you. Highly recommended.
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Popular Highlights in this book
A free person spends most of his time making positive decisions — choosing among attractive alternatives.Highlighted by 1,526 Kindle readers- There are two Identity Traps: (1) the belief that you should be someone other than yourself; and (2) the assumption that others will do things in the way you would.Highlighted by 1,332 Kindle readers
- I’ve concentrated upon the things I control, and used that control to remove the restrictions and complications from my life.Highlighted by 1,181 Kindle readers
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- Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2007
- Reviewed in the United States on September 19, 2016
