Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Big night?”

“Yep,” Isak grunted as he wandered off to bed.

That was the exact way all of their interactions went.

Even would ask a question, Isak would give him a short answer and one of them would leave. The one conversation they had was right after Even moved in. They talked about socks. After that, nothing. Nine times out of ten, Isak was out with his boyfriend. It was a shame. Even had gotten to know Eskild and Linn pretty well over the past two months. He’d like to get to know Isak the same way. Plus, he was cute.

Cute and unbelievably unavailable.

“One word,” Linn said. She opened the fridge and reached for the milk.

“Maybe one day I’ll get two.”

Linn took a swig straight from the bottle. “I don’t think I’ve heard him talk for months.”

“Good,” Even sighed. “It’s not just me. I thought I smelled or something.”

Linn put the milk back in the fridge and wiped her mouth. “You do.” Even barked a surprised laugh. “But so do I.”

Even watched her back out of the room, “Night, Linn.”

“Sweet dreams.”

*****

Even bounced to the bathroom, whistling cheerfully. He opened the door without considering that a closed door might mean someone was in there.

He really should’ve knocked.

Isak jumped, making a startled yelp. He scrambled for his towel and clumsily covered himself.

“Oh shit!” Even shut the door as quickly as he could. He heard Isak lock it. “Sorry!”

Isak cleared his throat. “It’s fine. Knock next time, will you?”

“Lock the door first,” Even countered, a smile playing at his lips.

Isak scoffed. “I forgot.” Even’s smile grew.

“So did I.”

“What the hell is going on?” Linn grumbled as she walked down the hall. Eskild followed close behind her. They stopped and stared at Even, Linn looking tired and annoyed, Eskild looking curious and eager. “Are you talking to the door?”

“No,” Even said with a short laugh.

“Hold on.” Eskild moved Linn out of the way so he could get closer to Even. “Your face is all red.” Eskild’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, were you just in there with Isak?”

“I wasn’t in there with Isak, geez,” Even said.

“You were definitely doing something.” Even shifted his feet, trying not to give anything away. Eskild gasped and looked at the door with a big grin. “You walked in on him, didn’t you?”

“Uh…”

Eskild laughed. “Oh my God, you did! Was he masturbating?”

“I wasn’t masturbating, Christ, Eskild!” Isak’s annoyed voice said through the door.

Even gestured at the door awkwardly. “No, no. He was just…a little exposed.”

“You saw him naked,” Eskild laughed.

Linn rolled her eyes and pushed past them both. “I’m going to go remove myself before you start talking about dick,” she said. “If anyone needs anything…don’t ask me.” She disappeared around the corner.

“Is he hot?” Eskild asked cheekily.

Even felt his face warm. He wasn’t much of a blusher, but he’d just unexpectedly seen a cute guy completely naked. Inches of pale skin, a gorgeous ass and dark hairs right down-

He shook himself out of it when he noticed Eskild staring at him with a smirk.

“Oh, you liked what you saw.” Eskild placed a hand on the door and leaned in. “Word on the street is you’re pretty hot, baby gay.”

“Shut up, Eskild!” said Isak. He sounded equally embarrassed as Even felt, though somehow, Even figured Isak was slightly more mortified. “Can I dry off in peace?”

“Sorry, again,” Even called. He grabbed Eskild’s sleeve and pulled him away from the bathroom door.

“Come on,” Eskild complained playfully. He let Even pull him to the kitchen, stomping the whole way. “You’re wearing my shirt, again.”

Even looked down at the Jesus shirt. “So I am.”

Linn was busy rummaging through the pantry. Even let out a breath he’d been holding. “Oh, I know,” Linn said without turning to look at him. “Seeing a naked body can be hard work.” She turned with a big box of cookies in her arms. “Burns an image into your brain.”  

“What’s wrong with that?” Eskild walked behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Everything if you want to keep your food down.”

“I’m just glad I got more than two words out of him,” Even said.

Eskild tried to reach in Linn’s cookie box. She smacked his hand away before he could open it. “Is he still being rude?”

“Isak’s always rude,” Linn said.

“I think I’ll have to have a talk with him.”

“You’re not his dad,” Linn teased, getting out of his hold.

Eskild dramatically placed a hand on his heart. “I’m hurt, Linn. I am the father in this household.”

Linn pulled and face. “I’m gonna go stuff myself with junk food and forget to feel bad about it.” She walked back down the hall, holding her box of cookies close like a treasured teddy bear.

“Did I do something?” Even asked once she’d gone. “Does he not like me?”

Eskild shrugged. “He hasn’t said anything. I am going to have a talk with him.”

“Don’t yell at him on my account.”

“I’m not going to yell. Just pry.” He leaned on the counter. “I still haven’t gotten all the details on this boyfriend of his.”

Isak walked in before Even could respond. They shared an awkward glance. Isak averted his gaze. He grabbed a mandarin out of their small fruit bowl. “I’m going.”

“Where are you off to today, young man?” Eskild asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Isak shrugged. “Studying.” He left the room quickly.

“Are you coming home?” Eskild called.

“I don’t know, maybe,” Isak called back. They heard the front door open and close.

Eskild sank against the kitchen counter. “It’s like living with a grumpy teenager.”

“He’s only 21, isn’t he?”

“Exactly. Baby gay’s not a baby anymore.”

Even’s phone buzzed from where he’d left it on the counter.

   Mikael: Everyone coming out tonight?

   Elias: Yup

   Mutta: Yesss

   Adam: Yes

   Even: Maybe

   Mikael: Come on, bro! We haven’t seen you in ages

   Even: I’ll think about it

   Adam: Lame!

   Even:

   Yousef: I have to meet you guys there

   Elias: Can I ask why we’re going out during Ramadan?

   Adam: Why not?

   Elias: It’s not like we can drink

   Mutta: Most of us don’t drink anyway

                 You naughty boy

   Mikael: Do you two need a moment alone?

   Yousef: What is even going on

   Even: Can I be best man at your wedding?

   Mutta: Yes

   Elias: No

   Even: Ouch

   Adam: Oi, fuck off!

                 I am the best man!

   Elias: None of you are invited

   Mutta: I see

                 You want me all to yourself

   Mikael: Stop

   Mutta: Never

“Anyone interesting?”

Even looked up at Eskild and realised he’d been smiling. “Just the guys.”

“The cute ones?”

“Yeah, the cute ones,” Even laughed. His friends never failed to put a smile on his face. Not even when he was having a depressive episode. He figured he deserved a nice night out with his favourite people in the world.

*****

“Fuck, that hits the spot!” Mikael said appreciatively.

The boys were happily munching on kebabs. “You never notice how long the day is until Ramadan,” Mutta said with his mouth full.  

“Dude,” Elias complained. “Swallow before you speak.”

“You don’t want to know what I’m thinking right now,” Adam said.

“No, we don’t,” Mutta laughed.

Even struggled to swallow his mouthful of kebab so he could laugh properly. “You sound like your dad,” Even said, giving Elias a nudge.

“Don’t tell him that,” Elias said. “He’ll never let me forget it.”

“Dude, how’s the new place going?” Adam asked.

“It’s good,” Even said with a nod. “My roommates have decided to adopt me.”

“What about that guy? Is he still ignoring you?”

Even wiped his mouth with a napkin. “He’s not really ignoring me. He’s just busy, I think. He’s never there.”

“You look good tonight,” Mikael said. “What is that shirt?”

“One of Eskild’s, I think,” Even said cheekily. He adjusted his jacket, making sure his pansexual pride pin was visible.

All their phones pinged in sync. “Whoa, that was like that show my sister watches,” said Mutta. “That one with the stalker.”

“Pretty Little something,” Adam said.

“You watch it?” Mutta laughed. He poked Adam’s side

“I’ve seen it,” Adam said, smacking his hands away. “You watched it too, if you know it’s about a stalker.”

“Yousef’s our stalker,” Even said.

   Yousef: I’m outside. Where are you guys?

   Adam: We’re not coming

                 We don’t want to hang out with you anymore

   Elias: Shut up, idiot. We’re at the kebab shop around the corner

   Yousef: Love you too, Adam

                Do you want me to go there?

   Elias: Nah, we’ll come to you 

“Should we ditch him?” Adam joked.

Elias wacked him over the head. “Come on.”

“Bro!”

They met Yousef a few minutes later outside the bar and walked in together. The boys all got some sodas and began a game of pool. Even was having the time of his life when he heard a laugh he knew all too well. His heart clenched. He looked across the bar and spotted his ex boyfriend looking gorgeous and very cosy in some hot guy’s arms. They were laughing and kissing.

“What’s up?” Yousef asked. He followed Even’s line of sight until his eyes landed on Aksel and the mystery hottie. “Oh, crap.”

Even hadn’t seen him in three months. He supposed it was stupid to assume he’d never see him again. But he was really hoping he wouldn’t. To say things hadn’t ended well would be an understatement. He’d stupidly thought they were happy. Until he caught Aksel fucking some guy on their six month anniversary.

As always, he wasn’t good enough. As always, he ended up alone.

“You okay?” Yousef’s eyes were full of concern.

Even blinked and looked back at Aksel. He looked happy. “You know, I think I need a drink.”

“Is that a good idea?”

“I’ll be fine,” Even insisted. “I won’t go overboard.” He couldn’t get to the bar fast enough. He was tired of being so fucking lonely. One drink turned into too many to count. He left the bar without telling the boys and ignored his phone going off as he walked home.

It wasn’t fair. Why did he get to be happy and Even didn’t? Why was Even the broken one? Why’d you have to go and make me like you? He climbed up the stairs clumsily. I’m a fucking mess.    

He struggled to fit his key in the door for a million years before the door was violently pulled open. Even fell into the apartment, crashing into someone. “Whoa.” Two hands grabbed his arms and pulled him up to a standing position. It was Isak.

“Isak! You’re home!” Even squeezed his biceps. “You’re so strong. I saw you naked.”

Isak let out a short laugh. “I was there.”

Even hiccupped. “I’ve had a bit to drink.”

“I can tell.”

“I’m gonna die.”

Isak put Even’s arm around his shoulders and led him somewhere. “You’re not going to die.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“We’re going to the kitchen. You need some water.” When they got there, Isak pushed him against the counter, encouraging him to sit up on it. Even got up and swung his feet. Isak handed him a cup of cold water. “Here.”

Even took the cup in both hands and stared at it. “Thank you.”

“Drink it.”

Even obeyed. He sipped loudly, making obnoxious wet noises with his mouth. He held the cup out to Isak when he was done. “That’s better.” Isak took the cup with a smile. Even hiccupped again. “Isak. Do you hate me?”

“Why would I hate you?”

“I don’t know. You never talk to me.”

Isak put the cup down and sat next to Even. “It’s not because of you.”

“Do you want to be my friend?”

“Do you want to be mine?” Even nodded his heavy head and bounced with his next hiccup. Isak laughed softly. “Alright. Let’s be friends.”

Even gave him a big smile. “I like you.”

“You don’t even know me,” Isak laughed.

“Don’t you like me?”

Isak patted Even’s knee. “I do. I like you, Even.”

Even groaned and tried to get off the counter. Isak slid off and grabbed his hands to help him down. “Mmthanks,” Even mumbled. He tried to push past him. “Need to go to bed.”

Isak grabbed his arm. “I’ll help you, okay?”

“Nice. You’re so nice.”

Isak smiled at him. “Not usually. You’re just lucky I have a soft spot for drunk idiots.”

He tried to drag him to the bathroom, but Even wasn’t having it. “No.”

“Don’t you want to brush your teeth?”

Even shook his head. “In case I throw up.”

“Good point.”

They slowly stumbled to Even’s bedroom. Even immediately fell on the bed. He rolled over and saw Isak looking at the drawings taped to his walls. “’D’you like them?”

“These are yours?”

“Mm hm.”

Isak nodded, impressed. “They’re good. Really funny.”  

Even’s eyes fell shut. He smiled. “Thanks.”

He heard Isak moving toward him. Isak grabbed his legs. “You shouldn’t sleep in your jeans.”

“Are you my mother?”

“No, but you’re acting like a baby.”

Even gave an exaggerated sigh and braced himself up on his elbows. “Fine.” He shifted up the bed and let Isak take off his shoes. He got his pants halfway down his legs before giving up. Isak chuckled and pulled them the rest of the way.

“There? Isn’t that better?”

Even patted his bare legs. “Phone.”

“Check your pocket.”

Even reached into the pocket of his jacket and wrapped his hand around his phone. He pulled it out and turned it on silent. His stomach swirled uncomfortably.

“I’ll be back.” Isak left the room and returned with a green bucket. He placed it beside Even’s bed. “If you need to be sick.”

“Mm.” Even had lain back and closed his eyes again.

“Time to get under the covers, buddy,” Isak said softly. He pushed Even up, encouraging him to scoot to the top. Isak pulled the duvet back and patted the mattress. Even stretched his legs out and shimmied down so his head fell on the pillow. Isak pulled his arms out of his jacket and carefully covered him with the duvet. “All tucked in.”

“Stay,” Even said.

“Even-”  

“I’m gonna die! Stay.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stay.” Isak switched Even’s lamp on and turned off the wall light. He pulled back the duvet and climbed in next to Even. “Okay?” Even tapped Isak’s face as he tried to reach for his phone. “What are you doing?” Isak laughed. He grabbed Even’s wrist.

“Phone.” Isak handed it to him. Even squinted at the screen, the light hurting his eyes. He felt like he was dying. It had been a while since he drank this much. He remembered why medication and alcohol didn’t mix. He bit back a smile as an idea came to mind. He pulled up facebook and posted a funny status. It was genius. Had he always been this hilarious? He sent the group chat a quick goodnight message and dropped his phone to the floor.

“All good?”

“Mm hm.” His eyes had fallen shut again.

He heard Isak laugh softly to himself. He turned off the lamp and got cosy in Even’s bed. Even wanted to hug him. He was so nice. And Even was so lonely. He wanted to hug him, but he drifted to sleep before he could do anything about it.

*****

The first thing Even noticed was the splitting pain in his head. Then, his dry throat. When he tried to swallow, he was met with a sharp pain. “Ugggh,” he moaned. He was going to sleep forever.

The day had other plans.

His door flung open. “Even!” Eskild yelled. Even felt several hands touching his face and upper body. “Oh, thank fuck!”

“Eskild, what the fuck?” Isak groaned sleepily.

That was what made Even open his eyes. He was looking right at Isak’s grumpy face. He was pretty. What a sight to see first thing in the morning. He turned his head to see Eskild and Linn standing over him.

Linn let out a breath. “You scared the shit out of us.”

Even frowned and burrowed further into his pillow. “What?”

Linn sighed and showed him her phone. Even had to squint to see what was on it. When his vision focused, he read a facebook status that said, I leave everything to my mother. Several comments were beneath it. He looked at Linn, then Eskild before closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. “Fuck.”

“What?”

Linn handed the phone to Isak. He read it with a frown. “So?”

“So?” Eskild scoffed. “Look again.”

Isak stared at the screen for a little longer. Even guessed he was reading the comments. “Oh, shit. People are taking this seriously.”

“Yeah.” Linn said. She took her phone back.

“It was meant to be a joke,” Even said with his scratchy throat.

“A joke?” Eskild laughed humourlessly.

Even rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. The morning light hurt. “I was drunk. It was funny in my head when I wrote it.”

“You kept saying ‘I’m gonna die’,” Isak said.

Even pulled himself up to a sitting position very carefully. “That’s why I thought it’d be funny.” He groaned as he reached for his phone. Linn ended up giving it to him. “Thanks. I’m going to be in deep shit.”

“Wait, why is everyone taking this so seriously?” Isak asked. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Even ignored the voice that told him he looked cute. He figured now was as good a time as any to tell him. “I’m bipolar.”

“Oh.” Isak looked at their roommates. “You guys knew?”

“Thought it’d be a good idea for the people I live with to know,” Even said.

“You never told me.”

“You’re never around.”

Isak rubbed his jaw, looking guilty. “Yeah. Sorry.” Even didn’t like that.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Even said. He unlocked his phone and saw several missed calls and unread messages. “Fuck.” He opened up the group chat and typed out an explanation.

“Hang on,” Eskild said with a gleam in his eyes. “What are you doing in here?”

“He was drunk, Eskild,” Isak said seriously. “And I have a boyfriend. Nothing happened, Jesus.”

Eskild actually looked disappointed. “Too bad.”

“Do you want some privacy?” Linn asked.

Even looked up at her. He was going to have to call his parents next. It would not be pretty. “If you don’t mind.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Eskild said. He walked around the bed and patted Isak’s leg. “Come on, baby gay. Come tell me if he snores or farts in his sleep.”

Isak huffed a laugh and slowly climbed out of bed. Linn was the last one out of the room. “Good luck,” she said genuinely. Even offered her a grateful smile with a touch of fear. She of all people understood.

The door shut behind them and Even was left alone. He dialled his parent’s home phone with a pounding head and hammering heart. “Fuck.”

*****

“How’d it go?” Isak asked. He was sitting on the couch eating a sandwich.

Even rubbed his forehead. He did feel a fraction better after his shower. Mostly, he still felt like shit. “It was painful.”

“You can see where everyone was coming from, though, can’t you?”

Even sighed and plonked down next to Isak. “I can. It’s just…I wish everyone didn’t treat me like a glass figurine. Like I might break at the slightest bump. I always have to be careful with what I say. It’s tiring sometimes.”

Isak nodded, his gaze set on the opposite wall. He looked at Even after a short while. “My mother…she’s not well. I never know what’s going to trigger her and…well, we can never be too careful.” He searched Even’s gaze. “We never stop worrying about people we care about.”

Even swallowed. “I know.”

“Did I make you feel like shit?”

“No. No, you’re right.”

“So are you,” Isak said. “I’ve never really thought about how mamma feels about…me and all this.” He shook his head. “I just made this about me.”

“It’s okay,” Even said. “I’d rather not talk about me right now.” He gave Isak a soft smile. “Thanks for taking care of me last night.”

“You were pretty funny.”

“Good to know my suffering is so entertaining.”

Isak laughed and scooted closer. “You were like a child. It was like babysitting my cousin if he was over six foot.”

Even laughed and covered his eyes. “I didn’t say anything too embarrassing, did I?”

“Only a little.”

Even took his hands away. “This is the longest we’ve hung out.”

“Get used to it,” Isak said. “You told me you wanted to be friends last night.”

“At least drunk me’s honest.”

“I like him.” Isak bumped their shoulders together. “But I’d rather not see him for a while.”

“Me too,” Even laughed.

That was how it started.

Isak and Even would stay up late at night and talk. They talked about the universe, Isak’s terrible taste in films, Even’s brilliant taste in music. They talked about everything and nothing until they knew almost everything about the other. Almost.

They’d make each other breakfast or coffee, because Isak never learned how to make tea. When they didn’t see each other in the day, they’d send each other silly texts and awesome memes. They left each other little notes around the apartment. Sometimes with advice or a random fact or a joke. An old vine reference every now and then.

More than a few times, they fell asleep in each other’s beds or together on the couch. Even had never slept better in his life. They went from being awkward and uncomfortable around each other to best friends in just three weeks.

However, they never hung out outside of kollektivet. Isak was still spending lots of time with his mysterious boyfriend. No matter how long they spoke, Isak never talked about him. Not to anyone.

“Is he a drug dealer?” Even asked one morning.

“No,” Isak laughed.

“A secret agent?”

“No.”

Even tapped his fingers on the counter. “Is he married?”

“No!” Isak slung his bag over his shoulders. “I’ve got class. See you tonight.”

“You’re seeing him after?” Even waggled his eyebrows. “Anything exciting?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “I’ll let you know. Bye.”

“Have a nice day, dear,” Even called after him. Some one cleared their throat. Linn was staring at him by the fridge. “How long have you been standing there?”    

“Long enough,” she said with raised brows.

“Meaning?”

Linn opened the fridge and looked through containers of leftovers. “That dopey smile on your face.”

Even tried to wipe the smile away, but it wouldn’t budge. “What about it?”

She bumped the fridge door shut with her butt, holding a container of pasta Even made yesterday. “Nothing. You remember he has a boyfriend?”

“Yes, I remember,” Even said. “We’re just friends, Linn.”

Linn put the container in the microwave and placed both hands on the counter. “Alright.”

Even shook his head. “We’re not having this conversation.”

Linn put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, I won’t say anything.” They chatted about a show they watched last night until the food was ready. Linn took the lid off and inhaled. “Ahhhh.”

“That’s mine,” Even said with a smirk.

“Thanks for your services.”

She sauntered off, leaving Even to smile to himself some more. He thought of a brilliant joke and no one was around to hear it. Even couldn’t wait until Isak came home.

*****

The front door shut loudly.

Even startled awake. “Ugh.” His lower back was killing him. Falling asleep on the couch wasn’t a good idea if you had never ending legs.

“Shit,” Isak said with a sniff. “Did I wake you?”

Even sat up uncomfortably. Isak’s eyes were wet and his nose was red. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

Even frowned. “Isak.”

Isak sighed and trudged over to the couch. He sat down next to him with slumped shoulders. “I got dumped.”

Even put an arm around him and squeezed. “I’m sorry.”

Isak rested his head on Even’s shoulder. He let out a shaky breath. “He said…he said there was someone else.”

Even rubbed Isak’s arm. “He’s obviously an idiot.”

“I’m the idiot,” Isak said miserably. “I should’ve seen it coming.”

“You’re not an idiot for trusting someone, Isak.”

Isak shook his head. “It was easy for him. Like he never even cared about me.”

Even’s heart clenched. “How could anyone not care about you?”

That got a small laugh from Isak. He shook lightly against Even’s body. “You’re so lame.”

“But it made you smile.”

“It did.” Isak folded his legs up and snuggled in closer. Even ignored the way it made his heart pick up. They’d never actually cuddled before. It was comfortable. Isak played with the hem of Even’s t-shirt. “Is this mine?”

“I think so.”

“It suits you.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while. “You never told us anything about this guy,” Even said.

Isak blew out a breath and sat up. He pulled out his phone. “This is him.”

Even’s eyes widened when he saw the instagram picture. It was Aksel. Unless he had a twin Even didn’t know about. He gulped. “What’s, uh…what’s his name?”

“Aksel.”

Even’s stomach twisted. Judging by the way Isak was looking at him, Even’s shock was obvious. “What the fuck,” Even laughed.

Isak frowned. “What?”

“I used to date him.”

“Aksel?”

“Yeah. We were together for six months.”

Isak stared at his phone. “What happened?”

“Caught him cheating on me.”

Isak snapped his head up with wide eyes. “No way.”

Even nodded and gestured at the picture. “I hadn’t seen him in months until that night I got drunk.”

“He was at a bar?” Isak looked sad.

“Oh.” Even put his arm around his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Isak. I saw him with some guy.”

Isak huffed. “That asshole. He told me he was seeing his sister.”

“He really is an asshole.”

Isak wiped his nose with his sleeve. “I can’t believe we have the same ex. That’s so fucking weird. Like, what are the odds?”

“Maybe it’s the universe trying to bring us together.”

Isak scrunched his nose. “I thought you didn’t believe in all that stuff.”

“You do.”

A small smile tugged Isak’s lips. “I guess.” He gave Even a mischievous look. “We’ve had sex with the same person. That makes us wiener buddies, or something.”

“Wiener buddies?” Even laughed.

“We’re bonded, Even.”

“If you say so.”

Isak nodded emphatically. He looked through the comments on the Aksel picture and pressed on a profile that commented fire emojis. “Hmph.”

Even leaned in to get a better look. “Who’s JulianDahl?”

“This is his new man,” Isak rolled his eyes. “Poor bastard. Should we warn him?”

Even frowned and tapped on a picture. This guy was fair and slender. The guy he’d seen at the bar was dark and toned. “That’s not the guy I saw him with.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I mean, it was weeks ago. Maybe he started seeing this Julian guy after that.”

“What if he didn’t? What if he’s playing him?” Isak wiped at his nose again. “He did it to you. Apparently he was messing around on me. Maybe this is what he does. Gets off on playing idiots.”

“Oi.” Even squeezed his shoulder. “I’m not an idiot and neither are you.”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Either way, he’s a jackass.”

“Uhhhh!”

A loud moan came from down the hall. Followed by several more. They got louder and louder with each sound. The moans were joined by a squeaking mattress.

“Eskild,” Isak groaned, covering his eyes.

“I didn’t know he was home,” Even said.

“OH!”

Isak and Even locked eyes and burst into laughter. “Sounds he’s showing someone a good time,” Even said.

“Can we get out of here?”

Even untangled their limps and got to his feet. “Kaffebrenneriet?”

He pulled Isak up. “Definitely.”

Even ran to his room to grab his wallet, trying to hold in his laughter. He could hear ‘The circle of life’ playing from the next room, mixing with the moans and grunts. He dashed out the second he found his wallet.

“You look traumatised,” Isak said.

Even shuddered. “Let’s go.”

Isak laughed at him as he locked the door behind them. They got to the Kaffebrenneriet near kollektivet and ordered one tea and one hot chocolate. Isak sighed contentedly after his first sip. “That’s good.”

“I hope Linn’s out.”

Isak shrugged. “She sleeps like a log, anyway.”

A familiar laugh shut them both up. They slowly looked across the café to see Aksel near the entrance with Julian. They were holding hands.

“Is he serious?” Isak scoffed. “He knows I live near here. I used to bring him here! Out of all the places he could go.”

“He’s a jerk, Isak. Of course he’d come here.”

Isak put his hot chocolate down angrily. “He’s really taking his new guy on a date the same day he dumped me. Thanks a lot, you fucking asshole.”

Even put his hand over Isak’s. “Hey,” he said soothingly. “Don’t look at him.”

“He really never cared about me,” Isak moped.

“I’m sorry, Isak.”

He glanced at the couple again. They were walking in their direction. “Shit!” Isak gasped and pulled Even’s shirt to bring him closer. He quickly pressed their lips together. Even melted into the kiss after the initial shock wore off. His stomach fluttered as he brought his hand to Isak’s face.

Isak broke the kiss, keeping his face close. “Sorry,” he laughed. “I panicked. I didn’t want him to see us. I should’ve asked first. Was that okay?”

“Yes. It was okay,” Even smiled.

“Good,” Isak sighed in relief.

Even took his hand back and looked around. Aksel and Julian were sitting several metres away from them. “I don’t think they saw us.”

“Good,” Isak sighed again. He checked his phone. “Should we go back? If Eskild isn’t done, we can jump on your bed and make fake moans to annoy him.”

“Like in Easy A?”

“What’s that?”

Even shook his head. “Oh, Isak. You need to learn.”

Kollektivet was quiet when they got home. Isak high fived Even and offered to play some fifa. Even could tell Isak just wanted some company. He was more than happy to oblige. They ended up falling asleep tangled up together on the couch. Even ran his fingers through Isak’s hair, just barely awake. He couldn’t get that kiss out of his mind.

The fluttering in his stomach didn’t stop all night.

*****

“Awww,” Eskild said.

Even blinked his eyes open. Eskild was standing over them, holding his phone out. He snapped a few pictures. “What the fuck,” Even grumbled.

“You two are like sleepy kittens.”

“What?” Even laughed.

Eskild put his phone away. Even noticed he was wearing Winnie the Pooh pyjamas. “I can’t take this!” exclaimed Eskild. “When are you two gonna get together?”

“We’re friends, Eskild,” Even insisted, his voice full of sleep. His lower back was throbbing, but his chest was so warm.

Isak wriggled on top of him. “Uggghhh,” he groaned. His breath was warm on Even’s chest. “What year is it?”

“Twenty-timetogetup,” Eskild said. He gave them both pats on the head.

“Piss off, Eskild,” Isak complained.

“That’s not very nice.” Eskild put his hands on his hips. He brought his phone back out. “I’m sending those to Linn.”

“Why are you like this,” Isak said, his face smushed into Even’s chest. Even smiled and brushed some hair out of his face.

“I’ll send them to all your friends if you don’t drop this sass-sak attitude,” Eskild warned.

Isak opened his eyes, squinting at the light. “Sass-sak?”

Eskild was typing something on his phone. “One of your many personas.”

“Be nice to me,” Isak complained. “I just got dumped.”

Eskild looked up at him with big eyes. “Dumped? By mystery boyfriend?”

“No, by Justin Bieber.”

Eskild gave him one of his looks. “I guess sass-sak is better than sadsak.”

“Oh my God,” Isak laughed into Even’s chest.

It filled Even’s heart. He couldn’t help the big, dopey smile on his face. Isak was so cuddly and cute. When he looked up, Eskild was giving him another one of his looks. “What?”

“Nothing at all, hot stuff,” Eskild said as he backed out of the room. “Nothing at all.”

Isak rubbed his cheek on Even’s chest like a cat. He slowly pulled himself up to a seated position. Even was only a little disappointed- they were still touching. “How’d you sleep?” he asked.

Isak rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Pretty good, actually.” He gave him a bashful smile. “Thanks for staying with me.”

“I owed you for taking care of me when I was drunk.”

“We’re friends. You don’t owe me anything.”

That warmed Even’s heart. “I like being your friend,” he said.

Isak gave him a genuine smile. “So do I.”

*****

There was a shift in their relationship after that night. Isak was spending a lot more time at home, which meant the boys were inseparable. Even’s friends joked that he dumped them for a newer model. Isak’s friends weren’t much different. They were sitting around the living room, watching stupid comedy films about weed.

“Heeey!” Magnus pulled Isak into a hug, having just arrived. He walked around the room to give Mahdi and Jonas high fives. He stopped in front of Even. “So, you’re the guy who stole Isak away from us.”

“Ignore him,” Isak said. “He’s a cat fucker.”

“I am not!”

They ate junk food, drank some beers and rolled a few joints. Linn snuck in at one point to steal a bag of potato chips. Even caught her, but promised to let it go when she swore not to tell Eskild about the smoking. He stared at Isak all night.

“Why do you hang out with Isak all the time?” Magnus asked. “I’m way cooler than him, hang out with me!”

“It’s a date,” Even laughed.

“Oi!” Isak clumsily set his beer down. “No one’s cooler than me. I am the coolest. I am the master of all things cool.”

“Coolsak is coming out,” Even said.

“More like dorksak,” Mahdi said.

Isak kicked his foot. “You guys wish you could be as cool as me,” he slurred.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Jonas laughed.

“Screw you all. Why do I like you?”

“Because I am the coolest,” Jonas said.

“Nah, man. That’s me,” Mahdi said, placing both hands on his chest proudly.

Isak stood up. “I’m going to bed!” He hiccupped and stumbled.

Even jumped up and caught him before he fell on his face. “Whoa! I got you.”

Isak grabbed Even’s arms. “You’re the only one who doesn’t make fun of me,” Isak said.

“Only tonight.”

Isak scrunched up his face. “Oh yeah.” He pulled back. “You made fun of me this morning. You suck, too!”

Even caught him when he stumbled again. “How many did you have?”

Isak hiccupped. “Seven. Ten. Something. I’m tired.”

“So much for the master of cool,” Mahdi snickered.

“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you to bed.” Even walked Isak to his room and tucked him into bed. “Nice and comfortable.”

Isak grabbed his hand and pressed it to his warm cheek. “You’re wearing my shirt,” he smiled. Even was powerless against it. “You’re so nice.”

Even’s stomach fluttered. He gave Isak’s face a gentle caress and pulled away. “Sleep tight.”

He walked back to the boys with a full heart and big smile. “Did he give you a kiss?” Magnus asked.

“No,” Even laughed.

“What about a handjob?”

“Mags, what the fuck?” Jonas complained.

“What?” He gestured at Even with both hands. “I’m just trying to figure out why he looks so happy.”

“He’s high,” Mahdi said.

Even was high. But that wasn’t why he was happy.

*****

Isak was home less and less over the next week. Even worried he’d gotten sick of him. Every time he brought it up, Isak insisted he was just busy. Even wanted to believe him, but he knew Isak was hiding something. Maybe he was overreacting. But, Even was worried.

He was on his way home from class when he passed a very familiar figure. Even backed up and stopped behind him. Isak was peering in the window of Kaffebrenneriet. Even leaned over his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

Isak jumped with such a force, Even had to step back. He whipped around to face him. “Christ, Even!”

“Sorry,” Even laughed.

Isak’s face was a deep red. “I nearly shit myself.”

Even couldn’t stop laughing. “Your face, oh my God!”

Isak gave his shoulder a light push. “Shut up. You came out of nowhere.”

A light flashed in the corner of Even’s eye. He looked down at Isak’s phone. “Are you recording?” He looked in the window. “Isak, what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Isak tried.

It didn’t take long for Even to spot Aksel sitting inside. He looked back at Isak. “Why are you filming him?”

“I…it’s – uh – I don’t – it’s not…”Isak sputtered, his face getting darker. He sagged his shoulders and sighed. “I was trying to…catch him cheating on his new boyfriend. I don’t know.”

“Why?”

Isak looked at his shoes. “I don’t know. To prove he’s a jerk, maybe.”

Even grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Isak looked up vulnerably. “We already know he’s a jerk.”

“But Julian doesn’t.”

Even searched his gaze. “Why do you care about him?”

Isak shrugged. “He’s just like us. Aksel’s gonna break his heart, too.”

Even stared at Isak for a few seconds before smiling. “You’ve got a good heart.” Isak looked taken aback. Even saw movement and looked inside. Aksel was walking toward the entrance. “Shit.” Even grabbed Isak and pulled him to the side, away from the window. The door opened. “Shit.” Even pressed Isak to the wall and stood close to him.

Their breaths mingled. They were pressed together right on the street. Isak was looking at something. Before Even could see what, Isak grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. Even wrapped his arms around Isak and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He didn’t realise just how much he’d wanted this until now. His entire body came alive. It had been so long since he’d touched and been touched. Isak was so warm and soft and strong. His lips fit his perfectly. Everything about this was perfect.

The best part; Isak wanted him just as much as he wanted Isak.  

They didn’t pull apart until breathing became absolutely necessary. Even would’ve happily asphyxiated. He tried to rest his forehead to Isak’s, but he was looking at something. Even turned his head and saw Aksel looking right at them with wide eyes. He looked from Isak to Even, then walked off in a huff.

Something sour ran through Even’s body. He unwrapped his arms from Isak’s body and stepped away from him. Isak looked at him with apprehension and guilt. No.

“Isak,” Even breathed. “Why did you do that?” Isak bit his lip. Even hoped against hope that it wasn’t what he thought. Prove me wrong. Tell me you want this. Kiss me again.

Isak closed his eyes, a frown creasing his forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“Was that for him?” Isak didn’t say anything. “Isak, please.” Even’s voice lowered to a near-whisper. He sounded desperate. It was embarrassingly pathetic. “Were you trying to make him jealous?”

Isak opened his eyes, looking more guilty than he’d ever seen a person look. “I’m sorry.”

Even released a hopeless breath. “Okay,” he said quietly. He moved further away from him.

Isak tried to reach out. “Even-”

“I’m gonna go home,” Even said in a monotone. He swallowed hard and started down the street.

“Even, wait.”

Even didn’t stop. And he didn’t look back.

****

Life was strained in kollektivet.

If Even thought things had been awkward before, it was nothing on the next four days. Even did everything and anything to avoid Isak. He would wait until Isak left for class to come out of his room. He snuck around the apartment so no one could catch him. One day, he woke up an hour earlier than he had to just so he’d be out of the door before Isak.

He knew he was being immature. He just couldn’t face him. It was too much. Even had been so desperate for that kiss. And Isak had only used him. He was so embarrassed.

Why’d you have to go and make me like you?

On the fifth day, he walked passed Kaffebrenneriet on his way home from class.

A vaguely familiar guy walked out in tears with another guy. “I can’t believe he was cheating on me the whole fucking time,” the guy cried. “I’m such an idiot!”

“He’s an asshole,” the other guy said.

Even was unlocking the front door when he realised who it had been. Julian. Isak was right, Even thought.

He tossed his bag onto the couch and shuffled into the kitchen. A note was left neatly on the kitchen bench. Even frowned at it curiously and picked it up.

Fact 21

Did you know friendship is good for your health?

That’s right! Being around close friends can help reduce stress and build up your bodily defences. Having good friends helps you live longer!

Want to live forever?

Even wiped the smile off his face and put the note back where he found it. He turned to open the fridge and saw another note taped to the door.

I dropped my watch at a party and when I went to get it, some guy was standing on it.

The guy pushed this girl, so I punched him.

No one does that to a girl. Not on my watch.

Even snorted and shook his head. He grabbed the water jug from the fridge and saw another note taped to the cupboard where the glasses were kept.

You should wear my blue and pink shirt more.

It suits you :)

He shook his head again and poured himself a glass of water. When he finished gulping it down, he quietly walked to his room. A note was sitting on his pillow. He sighed and picked it up.

Will you be the Rebecca to my Katelyn? º

Even tried not to laugh. But the vine was too strong. He broke and chuckled quietly to himself. Someone cleared their throat behind him. He took a deep breath and turned around.

Isak was standing in his doorway. He was wearing one of Even’s t-shirts. “Hi,” he said shyly.

“Hi.”

They looked at each other for a while. Isak laughed nervously. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Even said.

Despite how desperate he’d been to avoid Isak, he’d missed him like crazy. They sat next to each other on his bed. Isak played with his fingers.

“Did you like my notes?”

Even tried to hold back a smile. “They were alright,” he admitted. He could tell Isak was smiling without looking at him.

“Even,” Isak pleaded gently. That was what convinced Even to meet his eyes. He’d almost forgotten how pretty he was. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You were right,” Even said, remembering what he heard on his way home.

“What?”

“Aksel was cheating on him. I heard Julian crying to his friend about it.”

Isak shook his head. “I don’t care.”

Even raised his brows. “You cared enough to stalk him.”

Isak moved closer to Even on the bed. Their legs were touching. Even pressed back, relishing in their body heat. “I don’t care,” Isak said seriously. “I…I only care about you. Us.”

Even’s heart got stuck in his throat. “Really?”

“You’re my best friend. I hate not talking to you. I hate that I hurt you. I miss you when you’re not around.”

Even smiled at him. “That’s kinda lame, snakesak.”

“Snakesak?!”

“One of your personas.”

Isak tried to look offended, but broke after three seconds. They laughed together. It felt good. “I’ve been called a snake before, you know.”

“I’m not surprised, to be honest.”

Isak put a hand over his heart. “You keep burning me.”

Even placed his hand on top of Isak’s. “Better?”

Isak smiled at him, eyes shining with tenderness. “Better.” He linked their fingers and brought their hands to his lap. “Forgive me?”

The heaviness that had sat on Even’s chest for days lifted. The cloud in his head cleared. All that was left was adoration for the dorky boy in front of him. “I forgive you.”

“Good.” Isak pulled him into a tight hug.

Even held him back, taking in his heat, his smell. Fuck. He’d missed him so much.

Isak pulled back after a while. “Do you want to go for a hot chocolate?”

“That’d be nice.”

They held hands on their way to Kaffebrenneriet. Even didn’t think about what it meant. He just let himself enjoy it. They didn’t let go when they ordered their hot chocolates. Isak sat on the same side as Even at their table. It was perfectly cosy.

“Even though I was being an idiot, I really liked it,” Isak said. Even cocked his head. Isak smiled and explained, “When we kissed. I liked it.”  

“You guys are the cutest couple,” a girl with red hair said to them.

“Oh my God, come on, Susanne,” her dark haired friend dragged her away.

Even watched them leave in amusement, then returned his gaze to Isak. He was staring at him with tenderness and…want?

“She thought we were a couple,” Isak said. It didn’t sound like he found it funny. It sounded like…

Even couldn’t take it. He grabbed Isak’s face and pulled him into a kiss. Isak whimpered in the back of his throat and pulled him closer. Even smiled against his lips. Isak tasted like chocolate. It felt like a seam had burst. Like a door had opened. Everything in the world came together because Isak and Even were kissing. This wasn’t for safety or for a stupid ex. This wasn’t for anyone or anything else. It was for them.

It was just Isak and Even.