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Cas opened the door and immediately smiled, making Dean feel warm to the core. “Welcome to my home, Dean. I’m very glad that you’re here.” Cas gestured him into the entryway. “Please remove your shoes and follow me into the living room.”
Dean padded after Cas in his sock feet, glad that he had chosen a pair without holes. Cas was barefoot, and he was wearing low-slung jeans and a black tee that were outwardly casual, but clearly expensive.
Cas’s living room looked like something from a magazine photo shoot. Dean took a sharp breath and looked around from the enormous flat-screen television to the plush, impossibly soft-looking couch spread with pillows. “Wow,” he whispered.
“You like it?”
“Dude. Who wouldn’t like it? Your house is awesome.”
“Thank you, Dean. I’d like for you to see one more room, for now.” He handed Dean a turquoise shopping bag. “Down the hall on the right is the bathroom. Go there, take off your pants and underwear, and choose something from the bag to wear. Whatever you like best. Put your jeans back on over them, and come back to me. You may take as long as you like.”
Dean stared down at the bag.
Cas smiled again. “I thought this might help you achieve a certain mindset, so to say. Off you go.” He sat down on the sofa, tucking one leg under him.
Dean stumbled into the powder room, cheeks burning. He closed the door behind him and sank down on the plush rug. “Calm down,” he said aloud. “You can do this, man.” He finally worked up the courage to look into the bag. There were at least a dozen pairs of silky panties in various cuts and colors. Dean caught his breath and spread them out on the floor. Cas had said to take his time.
Dean considered a red pair with ruffles. Is that what Cas would like? But no, he had said that Dean should choose whatever he liked best. He reached for a pale pink satin pair with a tiny bow. Simple, yet sexy, is what he would have said had he seen them on a woman. He slid off his jeans and then his boxers. After a moment’s thought, he folded his underwear and slipped them back into the bag with the rest of the panties. He tentatively pulled the panties on and caught his breath.
They felt amazing. Soft and smooth and supportive. How had he been missing out on this his whole life? He took a moment to admire himself in the mirror, and then reached for his jeans. The panties felt even more amazing then--his jeans pulled on so easily, and the satin pressed closer to his skin. Half of him wanted to stay in the bathroom, but the other half was unbearably eager to see what Cas was going to do next. He took a deep breath and walked back to the living room, enjoying the silky fabric rubbing against him.
Castiel was paging through a magazine as Dean approached, and did not immediately look up. Dean stood at the edge of the room, hands clasped in front of him. Should he clear his throat? Should he say something? He agonized in indecision for 60 more seconds before Cas closed the magazine and replaced it on the coffee table.
“Welcome back.” Cas stood and ambled over to him, stopping two feet away. Just close enough to put Dean on edge. Castiel reached a hand out to almost, but not quite, touch him. “I wonder if you would allow me to see which pair you chose.”
Dean nodded. Castiel withdrew his hand very slightly, and Dean had to stop the impulse to chase it. “Words, Dean. When I ask your permission to do something, you must answer me clearly, so that nothing is misunderstood.” Cas stretched his hand back out toward Dean’s hip. “Now. Would you allow me to see which pair you chose?”
Dean breathed in through his nostrils and out through his mouth, as Castiel had taught him. “Yes, sir.”
A warmth washed over him, unlike anything he had felt or thought of feeling before. A feeling of calm, of rightness. Dean’s knees wobbled slightly, but he stilled himself.
“Very good, Dean.” Castiel reached over the remaining inches to Dean’s waistband, and using one finger, pulled it slightly away from his hip. “Ahhh. Very nice. A wonderful choice.” Cas let the waistband fall back to Dean’s skin and slowly withdrew the finger. “I only wish that I could see what you look like wearing only these. I can’t today, but maybe later on you will allow me that pleasure, Dean.”
Dean wasn’t sure how he was to respond, but speaking when spoken to was probably safe. “Yes, sir.”
Cas smiled, very slightly, and that seemed like a good sign. “Good boy,” he murmured, in that low voice that seem to reverberate right through Dean’s body. Dean felt suddenly, blissfully drunk, and his knees wobbled again.
Then Cas was turning and walking away, and Dean’s entire being cried out to go with him. Castiel sat on the sofa again, and settled back into the cushions. “Dean. Please join me over here. Choose a pillow, place it on the floor next to my feet, and kneel on it.”
Dean was walking eagerly toward the sofa when he saw Castiel frown, ever so slightly. “Oh! Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”
Castiel’s features relaxed. “Quite all right, my pet. This is new for you.”
Dean picked a soft grey cushion, placed it near Castiel, and sank down on it slowly. It was crazy how right it seemed, to be sitting at his feet.
“Good. Now move around a bit and make sure you are comfortable. Position yourself however you need.”
Dean wiggled a bit, taking the pressure off his knees. “I’m comfortable, sir.”
“Excellent. Now, if at any time your legs start to go to sleep or cramp, say yellow. I’ll help you reposition. If you want to stop for any reason, say red. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Tell me.”
“If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll say yellow. If I need to stop, I’ll say red. Sir.”
“Good boy.” Castiel picked up the remote. “You mentioned that Dr. Who is one of the shows you enjoy watching to relax. I need to catch up, so I thought we’d start with the beginning of last season and watch a episode or two.”
“That sounds good, sir.”
“All right. You’re doing very well, Dean. Now, for the next little while I recommend that you don’t talk unless you need to. Put your hands on your legs and leave them there. Let your mind empty and let yourself float.” Castiel started the first episode.
Dean was glad that Cas had picked a show he’d seen several times before. He didn’t have to concentrate on it and could let his mind drift. He almost felt like his body was drifting, too. He felt no discomfort from kneeling; on the contrary, he felt like he could do it all day. He sat with his back as straight as he could, and stayed motionless except for breathing. Dean wanted to be good for Castiel.
At some time later--Dean had no idea how long--Cas asked him for his color, and Dean replied with green, and no, sir, he wasn’t feeling any stiffness or numbness at all. Dean smiled up at Castiel, who looked beautiful, like sunlight rippling through water.
“You’re doing so well, pet. So good and so beautiful for me. Can you kneel for another few minutes?”
Dean closed his eyes and let his happiness wash through him. Castiel had said he was good, and that was all he had ever wanted. “Yes, sir.”
He thought that Castiel spoke to him again almost instantly, but Cas told him later it had been ten more minutes. “Listen to me, little one. I’m going to help you shift to the side, and you’re going to lean on my legs. Yes, like that. If you want, you can put your head on my knee.”
Of course Dean wanted, he wanted nothing but to be close to Castiel. Dean sighed with contentment as Castiel ran a hand through his hair. If Castiel would never stop stroking his hair, Dean would be happy for always.
Dean blinked through scratchy eyes, like someone surfacing from deep water, and found that a different episode was playing. He did not know how that could be, as it had been only a moment or two since he had knelt at Castiel’s feet.
“There you are, precious. Tell me when you’re able to move; I want to help you up on the sofa.”
Sounds that had been so faint as to be nonexistent were creeping back into his consciousness, and Dean was confused. He had been in a lovely place, and he didn’t want to leave yet.
“You don’t have to leave that place yet, beautiful. Let me make you comfortable and you can stay a bit longer.”
He must have said that last part out loud, but had he said sir? Dean couldn’t remember.
“Don’t worry about that. Here, I’ve got you. Sit down and lean back.”
Dean soon found himself nestled comfortably in Cas’s arms, and he laid his head back. The ceiling looked very far away, and that made him dizzy, so he closed his eyes.
“All right, pet? How do you feel?”
Dean hummed. “The ceiling’s a lot higher up than when I came in.”
“Hmm. I’m going to touch you very gently, all right? Just try to concentrate on my hands. Keep your eyes closed.”
“Mmm. Okay.”
Cas ran his hands gently through Dean’s hair, then over his shoulder and down his arm. Dean did as he had asked, and thought only of how good Castiel’s hands made him feel. Cas continued to pet him, and Dean felt as if he were floating on water. He became more conscious by degrees. Sam had once described meditation to him, and Dean thought it must feel a little like that.
Dean’s eyes blinked open. The sunlight coming through the windows was very bright, his mouth felt dry, and his mind was still foggy.
“Hello there, beautiful.”
Dean moved his lips, but no sound came out.
“I’m going to give you some juice, okay?” Castiel leaned over to a table at his end of the sofa, and picked up a juice box with a straw that had been waiting there. “Open up, sweetheart. Try to drink a little bit.”
Dean closed his lips around the straw and sipped. The juice was sweet and pleasant, and the more he drank, the more his head cleared. When the box was empty, Castiel took it away. “Good boy. In a moment I’ll get you some more, and something to eat. But I don’t want to let go of you just yet.”
“No. Don’t go away.”
“I won’t.” Cas resumed the stroking of his hair. Dean looked around the room, and found that it made him dizzy. He squinched his eyes shut again. “Dean? Either keep your eyes closed, or look at me. Don’t look at anything else just yet.”
“Okay.” Dean braved opening his eyes once more, and looked directly at Castiel, who smiled reassuringly.
“Good. You’re doing very well.”
“I am?”
“You are amazing, Dean. Absolutely wonderful.”
“Really?” Dean felt like a child, asking for reassurance.
“You really are. Never doubt it.” Cas held him for a long while, and for once Dean didn’t stress about the passing of time, or if Cas really wanted him there, or any of the things he usually worried about.
“Dean, I’m going to get up for a minute to get you some food and water. Close your eyes and keep them closed. Hold on to this pillow while I’m gone, okay?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Dean didn’t like Castiel being gone, but he could hear him in the kitchen, so it wasn’t too bad. He clutched the pillow to his chest for comfort.
“You can open your eyes now, Dean. I’m here.” Castiel placed a tray on the coffee table, and sat on the couch next to him. “Can you sit up a little?” He helped Dean prop himself up on some cushions, and gave him sips of cold water from a glass with a straw. He hand fed Dean pieces of fruit and cheese until he was satisfied. “How do you feel right now?”
“Really, really good. That was amazing. I know it wasn’t a real scene, but it felt really good.”
“On the contrary. It was very real, Dean. Scenes don’t have to include sex.”
“Oh.” Dean was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t expect aftercare, either. Because we didn’t, you know. Have sex.”
“Aftercare is part of any scene, no matter what occurred in it. The most important part.” Castiel smoothed Dean’s hair. “And I want you to know that you can seek comfort from me at any time, whether or not we have recently completed a scene. Even if it’s just because of a lousy day at work.”
“Okay.” Dean didn’t know if he would actually be able to take Castiel up on such an offer, and he wondered if he were being dismissed. “Am I supposed to leave now?” He asked, feeling very small.
“Oh, Dean. No. Your aftercare isn’t over; you haven’t fully recovered yet. I thought we might watch a movie together.”
Relief rushed through Dean’s entire body. “That sounds nice. I’d like that.”
“Come here then, beautiful.” Castiel held his arms out, and Dean nestled into them. His eyelids felt heavy.
“Is it okay if I sleep a little?”
“Absolutely. Whatever you need. I’ll be right here.”
“Thank you. For everything.” Dean closed his eyes, and gradually eased into sleep.