Chapter Text
She had chosen to walk away from everything and everyone before packing what was left of hers
and leaving the rest behind. The home she grew up in was no more, the family she once knew
were strangers to her now. Her relationship of several years had imploded, and the town she had
lived in her entire life, now felt empty and alone. Normally she would have found solace in her
work, but she couldn’t go back there now, maybe not ever. She needed a change, a big one. She
gathered her things, snuggly fitting a few suitcases in the back of her pale green VW Beetle. She
left a note for her now ex to keep the diamond; she didn’t want it as a reminder of how badly she
hurt, nor did the ring itself suit her. If Matt had really known her, he wouldn’t have given her
something so commercial and gaudy. Seeing the ring sit there now, as though it was staring at
her, she knew deep inside that her ex didn’t know her at all. One final walk through the house,
she couldn’t help but think of all the Christmas decorations she normally took down, he would
be responsible for them now. She picked out a few that were special to her, gifts and keepsakes;
placing them in a shoebox and tucked it under her arm. Before turning to lock the door and
leave, she remembered one piece of jewelry she always wore before the now former engagement
ring. It was a simple thing, a trifle really; a silver band with pink sapphires and small diamonds.
It was the one Valentine’s Day gift she had ever bought herself; as a reminder that one day, she
could have everything she wanted. She took one last look at the house she shared with the
stranger she thought she knew, watching it disappear in the rearview mirror, leaving to drive
through town one last time before hitting the highway. Pulling on to the interstate, she was faced
with the choice of New York or Los Angeles, she chose west. A feeling in the pit of her soul told
her to choose west and chase the sunset that night.
The idea of picking up everything she owned and leaving what she knew behind was something
a girl much younger than her would do, however this felt right. Sara had always been the
responsible one, the reliable one; the listener, the caregiver, and the one who would help fix
others problems, never once worrying about her own. She replayed conversations she’d had the
last few weeks with those around her, and the last conversation she’d had with Matt. She
couldn’t think about that without the anger spilling over, remembering what he told her; that “it
was her fault,” and “she should have been there more,” causing the pain of his words to sting
more and her heart race. All the positive feelings she had for him before had so easily and
quickly been replaced with anger and hate. Remembering his last words to her, she let those
feelings build, knowing she would be better off if she let it all go instead. She wouldn’t do it.
She would not give in to her ex and let him win. She knew their relationship was over months
ago but didn’t have the heart to end it as she was “comfortable,” but comfort wasn’t love. That
was the truth and it hurt that he called her out on it, but what hurt more was that he couldn’t let
tragedies in the past, stay in the past. She was the type of person who could live and learn; to
eventually let things go… he was not. As Sara stepped on the gas and drove faster through the
night, she wondered to herself how she didn’t see it before, how bad Matt had actually been for
her in the end.
As she headed west, not knowing where she would land, Sara passed though Chicago, stopping
only for food and to tell her brother she was leaving, asking him not to discuss it with their
parents as they would never understand why. Why she would choose to leave not only her job
but her family as well. Her brother understood as he had made mistakes that couldn’t be repaired
and left what he knew behind at one point to start over as well. Sara knew he would understand, and appreciated his honesty during their short discussion. He wished her well and kept his
promise. After a night in a cheap motel, Sara continued on, staying in Denver for a few days,
working a couple of odd jobs to earn quick cash, before deciding that the cold mountain air,
though beautiful, wasn't for her. She continued further through Vegas, staying to gamble a little
bit. Losing only a few dollars and nearly breaking even, she counted that as a win. Sara had
always wanted to go to Vegas before, however she was disappointed with the result. The next
morning she continued on before landing in Los Angeles. This city was exactly as she had imagined it, perfection and plastic everywhere, of which she was neither. She was a little taller than average, with mid length wavy brown hair, a thicker hourglass shape that would remind real men of a curvier, slightly heavier, Marilyn Monroe (that's what she told herself, hoping to believe it one day), and eyes that changed from blue to green to grey. She was pretty, in a "girl next door," kind of way but nothing that Southern California would accept. She knew this and decided to use it to her advantage. Sara was running low on cash and didn’t want to risk being tracked by credit cards until she was
ready to let people know where she had landed. She found a local dive bar where she could earn
a few extra dollars in no time since she had paid her way through college as a bartender and
hustling pool. Nearly fifteen years ago, Sara had hours to herself to practice at the bar she
worked at, and some skills are not easily lost. When the large grey haired man at the table
boastfully announced that he couldn’t be beat, Sara stepped up and challenged him on that. The
gruff man was well over six feet tall, balding, but had a grey beard and beady black eyes. He
was intimidating, and laughed when Sara put fifty dollars on the table, “Double or nothing.” He
tried to tell her no, but she was persistent, knowing she could beat him. She had a few drinks
already and that was when she was at her best game.
The balls were racked and since the large man offered ladies choice first, Sara sauntered up to
the table, lining her shot at the yellow ball in front of her as she inhaled the scent of beer and
enjoyed the touch of the green felt under her palm. She took her shot and sank two balls
immediately, followed by another, and another. Before the man knew it, the round was over and
he was out a hundred bucks. Sara offered him a chance to earn his money back, and by the end
of the night, she was walking out with enough to get wherever she wanted to go. She hung
around for a few days, continuing to hustle some poor boys who didn’t know better, and try her
hand at some Texas Hold-Em. She was lucky for about a week, deciding to leave town before
people caught on. Choosing not to drive overnight, she would leave the following morning. It
was LA, and not exactly the safest place around.
Sara woke up later than expected the next morning, feeling more rested than she had in months.
She looked around the cheap motel room. After making sure she had everything that she had
come in with, double checking the cash earned the past week, she began loading the Beetle.
Once the car was packed again, with no desire to go towards Mexico, she headed north. Having
grown up in the Midwest, she never imagined sights as beautiful as she was seeing with her own
eyes. The Pacific Coast Highway provided a sensory overload of sights, smells, and views that
were more inviting and breathtaking than anything she’d seen before. For instance, the way the
sun would set against the ocean was more beautiful than anything she had dreamed. When the
sun reached the water and kissed the subtle waves goodnight, and the crystal blue water turned
shades of pinks and oranges, that blended with the sky and the moon overhead. It was at that
moment, when the stars had begun shining through the night sky in the darkened California countryside, that Sara made a decision. That tonight, since it was warm enough, instead of
choosing the cheap roadside motel she would sleep outside towards the beach.
About a hundred miles south of the California-Oregon border, she found some shelter between
the beach and the woods. After looking at the spot she had chosen, relieved the ground was a mix
of sand and grass instead of stone; she gathered a few supplies from the car. Nothing of
importance though; a few blankets, matches, and a water bottle were all she needed for that
night. After collecting enough brush and twigs for a small fire to keep warm, Sara settled in.
Below the bright stars and low hanging moon, she drifted off to sleep with the peaceful sound of
the pacific waves crashing against the sand not too far away. It was this night, with the sunset
still vivid in her mind, that she first saw his eyes. Even when dreaming, Sara felt like she could
stare into them for an eternity, as though they were galaxies of infinite blue. Before she knew it,
morning had arrived and Sara woke to the smell of a smoldering fire. As she stretched and
forced herself awake, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something (or someone) waited for her.
What she remembered from the night before was only a flash of her dream, but distinct
nonetheless. They were kind, soulful, deeper and brighter than the ocean itself, that shade of blue
could not be forgotten. Sara cleaned up her small campsite, throwing sand onto the fire from the
night before, ensuring that it was extinguished. After taking a drink of her water; she poured the
rest onto the sand. Packing up the car, she still could not shake the feeling that she needed to
keep going.
As Sara started the engine feeling the car shake beneath her when shifted into drive, she worried
that she wouldn’t make it to wherever she was headed. Sure the Beetle was a little old, still less
than ten years however, but it had been good to her. Sara pinned her hair into a bun that morning,
while waiting for an opportunity to turn onto the highway, rather than try to manage the tangled
web after a night outdoors. She had a fresh bottle of water from her supply in the passenger seat.
After taking a drink and splashing some on her face to wake up a little bit more, ‘alright, it’s now
or never,’ she thought to herself for a moment before spotting an opening in traffic. She knew
she was headed in the right direction as soon as she stepped on the gas; following that instinct,
that something, which was drawing her to go just a little further yet.