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He’s on the ice when he remembers what this feels like, flicking the puck carelessly across the ice to Kaner - they’d always played beautifully together, and he’d forgotten what a high it was. Straight off the ice, he’s nervous for a moment, it’s been a few years since he’d hooked up with Kaner, not really since Europe, but all through his shower he can feel the excitement of it thrumming through his veins. He gives in. “Fuck Kaner,” He says as he wanders out of the showers, “I’d forgotten how fucking nice it is to play with you instead of against you.”
Kaner turns around and flashes him a grin, pulling on his slacks, “You missed me and you know it.”
Seguin stalks over to him, a soft hand sliding down Patrick’s side, “Remember how we used to celebrate wins back in Biel?”
“Is that an offer Segsy?” Kaner laughs over his shoulder at his friend.
“Dunno, is Toews going to have a problem with me if I take you back to my room?” Tyler steps closer, lining his body up flush with Pat’s, leaning his arms either side of him so he’s bracketed between them.
Patrick lets out a snort of laughter, “You know that isn’t a thing right?”
Seg grins a filthy little grin, “You gonna cry about how I’m not the right Canadian for you if I take you back to my room?” There’s teasing in his voice.
Kaner spins round in his arms, twisting his own arms around Seguin’s neck “I mean, probably, but I’ll also fuck you hard enough you won’t give a shit.”
“Well there’s a fucking promise,” Tyler shifts, so his legs are interlaced with Kaners, sliding one thigh up against Patrick’s erection, and then, tilting his head down, smashes their mouths together, thrusting his tongue roughly in.
“Not in the locker room boys!” MacKinnon yells across at them, exasperation in his voice, “You’re scaring the kids.”
Kaner snorts with laughter, “Sure,” he reaches up, and drags Seguin’s bottom lip with his teeth, before pulling back, he grins up at Tyler, challenge in his eyes, “Race you back to yours.”
From there, it’s a scramble to get their clothes on and get back to the hotel.
45 minutes later they're struggling to get their clothes back on again.
"You know," Kaner looks up under his eyelashes at Seguin, "If we lose this game we don't have to play any more this weekend."
"You're a terrible person Pat," Tyler grins at him, pulling him close for yet another bruising kiss, "A really fucking terrible person."
It's not that he doesn't try his hardest to win…. It's more, well, it's not like the all star games really matter - do they?
---
It's Roope who brings it up, first practise back after the all star game. "Hey Seggy," he shouts across the locker room as they're all getting dressed, "I hear rumour that Kaner fucked you in the locker room in front of whole central team."
Tyler let's out a snort of laughter, doubling over, "Jesus, who did you hear that from?"
"So is not true?"
Tyler shrugged, "We definitely did not fuck in the locker room,. I mean, mostly because MacKinnon's a boring asshole, but no, we didn't fuck in the locker room."
"Wait," Pavs looks up across at him, 'You' re saying that like you did hook up with him, just not in the locker room."
Segs shrugs, pulling his t-shirt on over his still damp body, never bothering to dry himself off properly, "All star weekend was built for hook-ups man."
"But…" Pavelski flounders for a moment, before settling on "Kaner?"
Tyler let's out a snort of laughter again, "I know right, but he fucks like he plays hockey - doesn't look like he'd be any good, and then fuck if he hasn't got some serious talent." He pulls his hoodie on, before slamming his snap-back onto his head, "Hey J," he calls out to his captain, "Want a lift?"
"No." Jamie's voice is short, snappish almost, "I have some things to finish up here."
Tyler swings his bag over his shoulder, "No worries," he walks past Jamie, clapping him on the shoulder, "Catch you later man." It'd be a lie to say he didn't notice the flinch when he slapped Jamie on the shoulder, maybe he'd twisted it in training, it' d be just like him not to say anything.
---
---
He doesn't notice it until Benny scores the game winner in overtime. Tyler assists, obviously, he's Jamie's right-hand man - but instead of their usual post goal furious hug, Jamie skates straight past him, into the arms of their other teammates. It's odd to say the least, and as Tyler skates after him, their joyful teammates pouring onto the ice - he can't help but feel that he's been snubbed.
Then there's the post win locker room atmosphere, which frankly, so be elated, but instead has a certain chill to it, as Jamie does his post-game media, but refuses to interact with anyone else.
"Drinks boys?" Tyler might not be wearing the A, but that doesn't mean he can't step up when his captain is clearly in a bad mood.
The younger guys all cheer in assent, and after that, well it's Tyler's solemn duty to take them out to celebrate if their captain won't.
---
---
It takes another game before the rest of the team start to notice. Shooting sidelong glances at Seguin as if to say 'what the fuck is up with Benn?' It's Pavs who eventually corners him about it over team breakfast.
"Fucked if I know." Tyler has to respond, "He's not answering my texts, so I've clearly pissed him off."
After the third game, the coaches must say something to him about his uncaptainly behaviour, because he stops being so visibly cold, chatting with the other guys, going out to team events, back to being the captain he's supposed to be, the captain he's actually rather good at being. Tyler on the other hand is another matter - they're perfect on the ice, of course they are, Benny would never let a petty squabble get in the way of hockey - but off the ice, he barely talks to Tyler beyond 'Pass the salt' and he certainly doesn't respond to any of his texts.
---
It becomes a habit, Jamie isn't talking to him anyway, so he texts instead. Mostly Kaner, sometimes Jordie, always Brownie. He's sat on the sofa in the players lounge, not having bothered to go home before their afternoon session, texting away, when the rest of the guys walk in.
"Who you texting Segs," The chirps start immediately. It probably didn't help that he'd hidden his phone the second they'd walked in the room, but honestly, Kaner had just sent him a shower pic and he didn't think they'd appreciate seeing that.
"I can show you the dick pics I'm receiving if you really want boys." he snarks back.
"Who the fuck is sending you dickpics at like 2 in the afternoon?" Pavs snorts.
"So it wasn't strictly speaking a dick pic, more an 'I just got out of the shower' pic, but there's a lot of male nudity in it…" he moves to take the phone out of his pocket, "Wanna see?"
Calling the bluff of straight boys is easy, and they all leap back, shielding their eyes, and Tyler giggles, and goes back to his texting.
---
---
He tries so hard to contain his laughter, but it spills out anyway, and that of course is the moment that Jamie chooses to wander into the room.
The stoic captain simply raises an eyebrow at Seguin, and then looks around the room for an explanation.
"Apparently someone's sending Segs dick pics."
Jamie sighs, putting his disappointed captain face on, the one that Tyler's seen far too much of recently, "I distinctly remember the media meeting where we were told not to send nudes."
"Actually," Tyler straightens up, a smug look on his face, "In the interests of not taking dick pics in the lounge, I've only received them." He doesn't add ‘today’, he knows it would just enrage Jamie further.
"I'm pretty sure the Blackhawks have the same PR rules as we do." Jamie rolls his eyes. It must have been a stab in the dark, but Tyler knows his startled expression has given him away before he realises that.
He shrugs, folding in on himself, "Not like I'm gonna fucking leak it to deadspin"
---
---
From that point on, it gets even worse. Jamie’s nothing short of ice cold towards him. At least now Tyler has a vague idea of what it’s about. Jamie’s pissed because he hooked up with Kaner. And honestly, all that does is make him want to hook up with Kaner even more, because who the fuck is Jamie to decide who Tyler can or can’t fuck.
---
That’s how it ends up that the afternoon before they play the hawks, Jonny Toews and Patrick Kane end up at his house, playing with Cash, Marshall and Gerry. Much though he wants to slam Kaner against a wall and get his hand inside his pants, but he knows that Toews is Kane’s Benn – the man he loves beyond all belief, and just can’t have – so he keeps his distance. Toews clearly knows something, but he doesn’t seem to be being an arse about it at all – in fact, before he and Kaner get back in their uber to go back to the hotel for nap time, he pulls Tyler to one side.
“He’s smiling.” The statement is odd, but Tyler knows just who he’s talking about.
He shrugs, “We’re just friends.” He doesn’t want Toews to get the wrong idea.
“I get that.” Jonny grins, “It’s just…. You chill him out. That’s good.”
“Uh, Thanks? I guess?” It’s one of the weirdest compliments Seguin’s ever had – but he’ll take it.
---
The pregame meeting goes as usual – they’re in the lounge with a few hours to spare before puck drop, going over last minute notes on the hawks and plans for the game.
“Anyone got any extra curricular activities planned I should know about?” Coach asks – it’s a standard pre-game question, even though the answer is almost always no.
Tyler wonders for a moment if ‘getting boned by the star of the opposition’ counts, but he knows they’re talking about fights.
It’s Jamie who surprises them all by clearing his throat, “Actually,” he begins, almost a little nervously, “I’ve an urge to drop gloves on Kaner.”
Tyler’s head snaps round, but it’s Dickie who speaks up first.
“You can’t drop gloves on KANER.” He squawks in astonishment, “That’s like dropping gloves on a child, or a lady or something.”
“Yeah,” Bish agrees, “Even if you try, you’ll end up fighting Toews.”
“Don’t want to fight Toews.” Jamie honestly sounds like a sulky four year old.
“The fuck Jamie?” Tyler eventually snaps, “Why the fuck do you have such a problem with me hooking up with Kaner?”
“Why the fuck do you think?” Jamie snarls at him.
Tyler runs both hands through his hair, “Honestly Jamie, I think it’s because whilst you claim to be all ‘you can play’ about having a gay best friend, when it actually comes down to it, you can’t fucking stand the thought of spending that much time with someone who’s actually queer.”
There’s an awful moment of silence, in which Jamie just stares at him.
“Seriously?” it’s Rads who speaks up this time, “That’s seriously not cool man.”
“It’s not that!” Jamie yells, “It’s just….” He flounders around, trying to look for an explanation that isn’t being a homophobic asshole.
“Fuck you is what it is.” Tyler snarls. “Totally fine with me being queer, unless I actually do anything queer.”
Jamie sighs, and for the first time, Tyler notices how he’s actually been looking his age recently. “Maybe I have a problem with who specifically, not that it’s a bloke.”
“You have a problem with Pat? Because honestly you barely know the guy.”
Jamie sighs, throwing his hands up in the air, “He has a reputation!” He cries.
And that’s when Tyler loses it. “Seriously?” He yells, “Pats reputation is no fucking worse than mine you condescending bigoted asshole.” He spins on his heel, stalking out of the room, before turning back to yell over his shoulder, “You drop gloves on Pat and I’m dropping them on you.”
He finds himself pacing outside the away locker room, before taking a breath, and knocking on the door.
It’s Toews who opens it, “The fuck?” He says looking Tyler up and down, “You realise this isn’t your locker room, yes?”
“I know,” Tyler can feel his hand shaking, “I uh, came to give you a heads up.”
Toews frowns, and then pulls him inside the locker room. “Hey boys,” he calls out to his team, “We have a visitor.”
There’s a few noises of protest, but if you can say anything about the Blackhawks, you can say they’re loyal to their captain.
“What’s up Segsy?” Kaner steps forward, a gentle hand on Tyler’s hip.
Tyler can feel the tears, anger and frustration, welling up inside him. “Jamie wants to drop gloves on you.” He mutters.
“On me?” Kaner lets out a giggle, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“He won’t even get close.” Toews snarls.
Tyler shakes his head, “The rest of my boys are currently convincing him of what a fucking terrible idea that is.” He grins through the tears spilling over his lashes, “It may have been likened to dropping gloves on a lady.”
Toews snorts at that, and then, quieter, asks “Why?”
Letting out an almighty sigh, Tyler answers, “Because he’s a homophobic asshole.”
“Fuck,” at that, Kaner reaches out and tugs Tyler into his arms, wrapping him into a tight embrace, “That fucking sucks.”
Tyler lets himself have that, for just a moment, Pat’s arms around his waist, nobody in this locker room seems to give a shit.
“Is it just Benn? Or your entire team?” It’s Toews who asks the question, “Because honestly, if it’s just him, then we report him to the league, if it’s the whole team that’s harder to sort out.”
Tyler takes a moment to bury his face in Kaner’s curls, before looking up at Tazer. “Just Benny, and he claims he just has a personal problem with Kaner.”
“I mean…” Jonny can’t stop the chirp, “Most of us have a personal problem with Kaner.”
At that, Patrick turns to stick his tongue out at his best friend, but Jonny’s right there with a hand on the small of his back, just below Tyler’s and Pat thinks he might actually die of happiness right in that moment. “Fuck you both.” He says eventually, but there’s no venom in his voice.
“I should go back to my actual locker room.” Tyler says with a sigh.
And then, surprising him, Patrick reaches up on his tiptoes, and presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, “I’ll see you after the game.”
Tyler can’t help but grin, taking a step backwards, “Don’t think I’m not going to destroy you boys out there, just cause you let me in your locker room.”
Jonny claps him on the back, “Don’t think we’re going to go easy on you because Kaner seems to like you.”
He feels a bit better when he gets back to his own locker room, prepping to get dressed for the game. Klinger comes over and puts a hand on his shoulder, “You ok?”
Tyler simply shrugs in response, he’s not ok, but he’ll still play his heart out.
“Where did you go?”
At that, Tyler can’t help but flash a cheeky grin at his fellow A, “To see Kaner,” he turns sombre a moment later, “I felt I should warn him about Jamie’s stupid intentions.”
“We’ve talked him out of it.” John assures him, “Nothing to worry about.”
“Thanks man.”
“And if he starts giving you any problems about being who you are, you let the rest of us know. We won’t stand for that.”
That does bring a genuine smile to Tyler’s face – knowing even if his best friend is being an ass, his team has his back.
---
Jamie tries to catch him after the game, “Can we talk…”
“No.” Tyler snaps, “Honestly, I’ve got plans, and I’m fucking done with you.” It’s perfect timing, because as he steps out of the locker room, Jamie on his heels, Kaner is right there waiting for him. “I’ve got my car.” He grins at the Blackhawk, “I’ll drive us.”
Kaner looks torn between saying something to antagonise Jamie, and the fact that the look on Jamie’s face implies that Jamie actually wants to kill him. And that is not a fight that Pat is going to win, or even attempt to win, or even think about if he has his way. “Cool.” He settles on, and follows Tyler out to the carpark, breathing a sigh of relief when Jamie appears to just stand and watch them go.
When they’re in the car, he slides a hand onto Tyler’s thigh, “Everything ok?”
“Honestly,” Seguin sighs, “No.”
“What can I do?”
That does bring a wry smile to Tyler’s lips, “You’re a good friend Pat, never let anyone tell you otherwise.” He pauses and then adds, “And you can fuck my brains out so I don’t have to think anymore.”
The grin that erupts across Pat’s face is positively predatorial “We are so on.”
---
It’s awkward when he opens the door for a moment, and then Marshall, Cash and Gerry are barrelling towards their favourite Uncle Jamie, and the moment is broken as Jamie crouches down to fuss the three of them, smothering them with kisses and saying how much he’s missed them.
Tyler can feel the lump in his throat at that – Jamie’s practically been a second parent to his boys for years, and he feels bad that they’ve been kept from him. “Beer?” He manages to croak out.
“Er, no.” Jamie looks awkwardly up at him, “Not sure drinking is the best plan.”
Tyler nods, he feels hollow inside. “Gatorade then?”
It’s a few minutes before they’re settled on the couch, silence hanging heavy and awkward between them until Tyler can’t stand it any more.
“I think you owe me an apology.” He says coldly.
Jamie sighs, putting his drink down, running his hand through his hair, “I know.” He glances nervously up at Tyler, “Fuck Ty, I am so fucking sorry.”
It’s not enough, and Tyler can feel himself closing up even further. He’s drawn his legs up onto the couch, hugging himself. “You’ve really fucking hurt me Jay.”
“I know,” Jamie has tears threatening to spill already, “I know and I really hate myself for it.” He pauses and then, with a great effort, says, “I don’t have a problem with you having sex with Patrick Kane.”
Tyler lets out a hollow laugh, “Wow.” He mutters sarcastically, “Thanks Jamie.”
“I’m trying to explain myself Tyler,” Jamie sounds a little frustrated, and his use of Tyler’s full name is evidence of that.
“Fine.” Tyler can’t help but sound sulky.
“You once told me, that your idea of a perfect boyfriend would be someone who was like a best friend to you, but you who you also had awesome sex with.”
“Well, yeah.” Tyler can’t see where Jamie’s going with this.
“Is that Kaner?”
“No!” Tyler can’t help the snort of laughter, “Kaner’s not my boyfriend.”
“It’s just…” Jamie looks like the effort of talking is actually killing him inside, but he knows he needs to, “I don’t have a problem with the fact you’re gay – this just reminded me that one day you’re going to replace me as your best friend – and I don’t want you to have a best friend that’s not me.”
“What?” Tyler lets out an astonished laugh, “You’ve been freaking out this entire time because you’re worried that Kaner is replacing you as my best friend?”
Jamie shrugs at him, “Not Kaner necessarily, but the idea that you’ll settle down with someone you love more than me.”
Tyler resists the urge to scream at him that there isn’t anyone in the world he loves more than Jamie, but that isn’t what this is about. “You’ve got Katie,” he settles on eventually.
“That’s not the fucking same and you know it.”
“You’ve said you’re thinking about asking her to marry you – it kind of is.”
Jamie looks like him like he’s suddenly grown a second head, “Wanting to marry someone isn’t the same as them being your best friend.”
Now it’s Tyler looking at Jamie like he’s insane, “I can’t imagine wanting to marry someone who wasn’t my best friend.”
“That’s what I’m saying Tyler,” Jamie’s trying not to raise his voice and yell, but he’s definitely sounding exasperated, “It’s different for you, because you’re gay.”
“Not really Jay.” Tyler shakes his head, “I think love is pretty much the same.”
Jamie rolls his eyes, “I don’t think most heterosexual couples consider each other their best friends.”
“Really?” Tyler shakes his head, reaching in his pocket for his phone, “I think you’re wrong, and I’m going to show you.” He clicks on the favourites button and selects a number, hitting speaker phone before Jamie can interrupt him.
“The fuck Segs?” Is how Jordie answers the call, “It’s late enough here, what fucking time is it for you?”
“Sorry Darth,” Tyler sighs, “Your brother’s being an ass and I need you to knock some sense into him.”
Jordie groans “When don’t you?” and then after a beat, “I’m assuming you guys are together right now, am I on speaker?”
“Hey Darth,” Jamie says quietly in answer.
“You can’t see me right now Chubbs but I’m rolling my fucking eyes at you.” And then, softer, “What can I help with Segs?”
“Just…” Tyler thinks for a moment how to phrase the question, “Who is your best friend in the whole entire universe?”
Jordie snorts, “Not you.”
“No,” Tyler runs a hand through his hair, “I mean, if you had to spend your entire life on a desert island with just one person, who would it be?”
“Jess, obviously."
Jamie interrupts, “That’s not the same thing though. She’s not your best friend.”
“She fucking is my best friend.” Jordie exclaims, “I mean she’s also hot and clever, but she’s funny as fuck and I love her because she fucking gets me man.” Tyler can hear the sappy smile in his voice, “I mean, if that isn’t a best friend then I don’t know what is.”
For a moment, there’s silence, and then Tyler speaks, “Thanks favourite Benn.” He teases with a grin, “You’re helpful as always.”
“Keep me posted Segs.” Jordie’s voice is soft, and Jamie isn’t sure about the implication that Jordie and Tyler spend a lot of time phoning each other in the middle of the night, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to crawl back into bed with my super hot best friend girlfriend.”
When the call ends, Tyler looks up at Jamie, “You need me to call Sharpy? Because I’m pretty sure we both know Abby’s his best friend.”
Jamie shakes his head mutely. He sits in silence for a minute, and then putting his half finished Gatorade on the coffee table he stands abruptly. “I need to go.”
“I thought we were talking?” Tyler stares up at him aghast, he’s not ready for this to go even further downhill.
“I need to go.” Is all Jamie says as he heads towards the door.
“The fuck you do Jamie, what the fuck is more important that us right now?”
When Jamie looks back at him, the look in his eyes is cold, and a little bit afraid, “I kind of need to go and break up with my girlfriend.”
And with that – he’s out of the door.
---
When he hangs up the phone, Pat takes a minute to let the conversation sink in, Segs having regaled him with how the evening’s conversation had gone in Dallas. He runs a hand through his hair, before turning in his seat.
“Hey Seabs,” he calls, “Who’s your best friend that you’d spend the rest of your life on a dessert island with? Like, if you completely had to."
“Random much?” Brent stares at him, “Obviously my wife, or if I can pick two, my wife and Duncs.”
“Shawsy?” Kaner grins, the boys are used to his irritating questions anyway, “Same question,”
“Chauntelle, obviously.” Shawsy looks at him like he’s crazy.
“Fuck it.” Kaner grins, “Everyone.”
Most of the Hawks are willing to answer, most of the older guys say their long term spouses, or their best friends. Stromer blushes a little bit when he answers, “Davo or Alex,” resolutely not meeting DeBrincat’s gaze.
Alex however grins, when he says, “Stromer, or Davo.”
“I fucking ship it.” Is all Kaner says in response.
“How about you?” Shawsy asks when nearly everyone else has answered.
“Tazer, obviously. I’d die without him, plus he can fish – that’d be useful on a desert island right?”
“Poor Tazer,” Shawsy chirps, and then, “What about you then Captain?”
Jonny looks up from his book, “Sadly,” he says with a sigh, “I’d have to say Peeks. And that probably says way too much about my psyche.”
“Awwwww,” Kaner grins, snuggling up to Jonny, “Twooo wuv.”
Jonny gives him a gloveless facewash, “Shut up Peeks.”
“Why did you want to know?” Seabs asks eventually.
Kaner shrugs, he doesn’t bring up Jamie Benn, knowing that the Hawks aren’t particularly keen on him at the moment, “Someone tried to claim that heterosexual married couples aren’t best friends.”
“Well you can tell them on my veteran authority, that marrying your best friend is the best thing in the world.”
---
The connecting door between their hotel rooms is left open – it always is, so it’s hardly a surprise when Jonny walks in as Patrick is settling down into bed.
“Can I join you Peeks?” he asks.
Kane just nods – they don’t do this often, but often enough that it’s not completely unexpected. He shifts over so Jonny has enough room to lie on the other side of his queen bed. He lets himself have a minute as Jonny settles into bed beside him, just to watch, the dim light of the lamp falling onto Jonny’s face – casting his soft tan into a golden glow.
For a minute after Jonny settles, they just lie there, facing each other – staring into each other’s eyes. They’d be chirped into high hell for this, but neither of them have ever cared, and no-one has ever caught them.
“You ok?” Patrick asks eventually. Jonny doesn’t tend to crawl into his bed unless he’s not ok, so he thinks he knows the answer.
Jonny sighs, and then, reaching out to run a hand through Kaner’s curls, “I like your hair like this Peeks,” he says softly, avoiding the question, “No crap in it.”
“You’re avoiding my question Jonny, what’s up?”
Jonny withdraws his hand, and then, with an even deeper sigh, turns his attention back to Patrick’s face, rather than his hair. “You know I’d date you if it wasn’t for the sex thing right?”
It’s a million years from what Pat was expecting, and it’s like a punch to the chest. It takes him a moment, and when he finally speaks the only thing that comes out of his mouth is “The sex thing?”
“Well,” Jonny waves his hand vaguely, “You love sex, and I’m ace.”
And if that isn’t the second fucking revelation to come out of Jonny’s mouth in 30 seconds. Kane can hardly catch his breath. “You’re ace?” He asks, he knows he sounds stupid by this point, he’s just repeating what Jonny’s saying.
“I’m asexual,” Jonny stares at him like he’s an idiot. “I thought you knew that.”
Patrick just stares back at him, shaking his head, “No… you’ve never said.”
“I didn’t think I needed to – I sort of thought you’d figured it out.”
Pat thinks if his eyes get any wider they might actually fall out of his head, “I just thought you didn’t like talking about your sex life!”
“Oh,” Jonny can’t help his smile, “Well, erm, also that. But mostly that I just really don’t enjoy sex.”
“Do you wank?” Patrick knows it’s a personal question, but he also knows he and Jonny are close enough that Jonny probably won’t care.
“Not very often.” True to form, Jonny is unsurprised by the question, “I mean, occasionally you’re just too worked up and you kind of have to. But it’s like,” he pauses to think, “Like when you’re hammered and you need to puke, and the puking itself is horrible, but you feel so much better after.”
Kaner can’t keep the horror off his face, it’s like Jonny had just told him that he played hockey because he was good at it, but he didn’t actually enjoy it.
“I know.” Jonny grins at him, “Its your best thing ever.”
It’s then that Patrick remembers where this conversation started, “You’re my best thing ever.” Is what comes out of his mouth, and then, at Jonny’s bemused expression, “I mean if my options are have a relationship with you and never have sex again, or not have a relationship with you…. I’m picking you every time.”
The bemused expression on Jonny’s face turns softer, but no less alarmed. “But you love sex…” it’s Jonny who seems lost for words now.
“I love you more.” Pat grins at him, “Jonny, I love you more than hockey.”
Jonny gasps, it’s only a little bit faked. “Blasphemy,” he teases, “Take it back.”
“Can’t.” Pat sticks his tongue out at him, “It’s true.”
There’s a moment of silence, it’s quiet and the air between them is heavy, but not with fear, more with nervous anticipation.
“So you’d date me then?” Jonny’s voice is barely above a whisper and filled with hope.
“I mean,” Pat tamps down his own excitement, “I’d want to know what a relationship entails for you – I mean sex has always been a big part of my relationships in the past.”
It’s a fair question, “I’m not a-romantic,” Jonny explains softly, “I like doing romantic things, I love cuddles, I love kisses – just not anything more than that really.” He’s not looking at Pat as he answers, but when he does bring himself to glance at his friend, he can see a soft smile on Kaner’s lips.
“Then I’m in.”
Jonny’s eyes widen, “Really? But…"
Patrick reaches over with a hand to his cheek to quieten him, “I’m not saying I’m not going to wank, a lot, but I’m saying I’m in.”
“Oh,” Jonny says softly, and then, almost as an after thought, “I mean, if you want to have sex with other people I’m cool with that.”
That elicits an actual groan from Kaner, “And you thought I wouldn’t be ok with this as a proposition.”
“I mean…” Jonny’s blushing a little now, “I guess I didn’t?”
“I’m very ok with this.” Patrick strokes his thumb across Jonny’s cheekbone, “I want to kiss you now.”
“Please.”
Kaner almost moves forward, and then pauses, “I’m hard as fuck right now, is that a problem?”
At that, that knocks the breath from Jonny’s chest, not that Pat is hard, he couldn’t give a flying fuck about that, but the fact that he’d thought to pause and ask. “I love you.” Is all he can say for a moment, before reaching out with both arms to draw him closer, “It’s fine Peeks, just don’t expect the same from me.”
Kane can’t stop smiling as he lets Jonny draw him closer, and then, presses their lips together softly. It’s not a brilliant kiss, he’s definitely had better, mostly because they’re both grinning too much to kiss properly. After a few goes, Kaner gives up, and instead, moves to nuzzle his face into Jonny’s neck, grinning so hard it makes his face hurt.
There comes a soft “Oh,” from above him, and then, when he pauses to look up, “Don’t stop.” Jonny reaches to tangle his fingers through Pat’s hair, “That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever felt Peeks.”
It’s almost an hour of trading lazy kisses, grinning, nuzzling into each other, never once letting go, before they both drift off to sleep.
___
The next morning, Pat wakes up slowly with soft kisses being pressed to his mouth, he’s not properly awake when he groans and thrusts his hips forward against the muscled thigh that’s next to him – then the previous night comes flooding back to him, and he pulls away, “Shit, sorry Jonny.” He pries his eyes open.
Jonny’s grinning at him, “It’s ok,” he runs a hand through Pat’s wild curls, “I like that I make you feel good.”
For a few minutes they lie there, trading sweet kisses, until Pat can feel the urge to rub off against Jonny’s thigh growing even stronger. He groans, and pulls away, “I need to….” He rests his head against Jonny’s shoulder, “I just…”
Jonny presses a quick kiss to his temple, “Go jerk off in the shower,” He laughs, “And when you’re done, call me, and I’ll come join you for shower cuddles.”
Patrick’s almost halfway out of bed, before he stops, turning shyly back to Jonny, “Can I…” he’s not even sure how to ask the question, “Can I think about you?”
Jonny just raises a quizzical eyebrow, “You don’t normally?” He teases.
Ears burning bright red, cock so hard he’s already leaking precum, Patrick disappears off to the shower. It’s an embarrassingly short amount of time until he lets Jonny know he’s done, but part of that was the urge to finish fast, because the faster he finishes, the faster he gets Jonny back – and when Toews strips off his clothes and climbs into the shower cubicle, naked and soft against him, Kaner knows it was completely worth it.
“Hi,” Jonny grins, bending down slightly to kiss him, sliding his arms around his naked waist and pulling their bodies together.
Patrick just squeaks in response, letting Jonny pull him into his arms – their height difference hadn’t been so noticeable in bed, but right now with his forehead level with Jonny’s mouth as he pulls him in, he remembers how tiny Jonny can make him feel. He doesn’t feel it right now however, mostly, he just feels safe, Jonny’s strong arms wrapped around him. Another memory floods back from the previous night, and with a cheeky grin, he leans forward to rest his face in the crook of jonny’s neck, nuzzling like he had done before.
“You’re gonna break me Peeks.” Jonny laughs softly, carding his hands through Pat’s hair, turning his head to the side to press a kiss to his forehead, “Can I wash your hair?”
After they shower, Jonny tries to hide Pat’s hair gel, he settles on holding it out of his reach “But I like the curls.” He teases.
Kaner knows he won’t win this fight on strength alone, but everybody knows that Patrick Kane fights dirty, “I know,” he smiles sweetly, “That’s why only you get to see them."
Jonny lets out a moan like someone’s punched him, and reluctantly hands over the gel.
“Are we telling the boys?” Pat asks softly, “About us?”
Jonny shrugs, “I don’t mind if they find out, but I don’t see how it’s any of their business.”
Pat could list a dozen ways, but right now, he’s too blissed out to argue with Jonny, so instead, he reaches up on his tiptoes and presses a kiss to his captain’s cheek. “Love you.” He murmurs.
At team breakfast, Kaner is even bouncier than usual, and by the time he’s sat next to virtually every team member on the coach on the way to their morning skate, in just 15 minute of coach journey, Duncs eventually yells at Jonny.
“Tazer, can you control your puppy please.” He shoves Pat roughly towards where Jonny’s sat, “And also maybe not feed him crack for breakfast.”
Jonny doesn’t even look up from his book, just lifts his arm, so Pat can sneak under it to lean against his side.
“Hey Jonny,” Kaner snuggles against him.
Jonny looks away from his book, turning his head down, to see Peeks staring up at him, baby blues framed by those soft golden eyelashes, cheeky smile carving dimples into his cheeks as always. “Well fuck.” Jonny says softly.
“What?” Patrick has a small furrow to his brow, “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Jonny lets out a wry smile, “I just have no resolve when it comes to you.” He bends his head down and presses a soft kiss to Pat’s lips. “That’s all.”
Shawsy noticed, and whistled low under his breath, “That’s why Peeks is so cheery this morning then. He got laid last night.”
“Naw,” Jonny laughs up at him, “I just finally figured something out.”
“That you want to bone Peeks?” Shawsy guesses.
Jonny laughs, “Actually, I just figured out that if I’m kissing him, he can’t talk.”
There’s a moment of silence across the bus, and then the chant starts up “Kiss Him Kiss Him Kiss Him.”
Jonny laughs – and like any good Captain, obliges his team.
___
Jamie looks haggard the next day at skate, so much that everyone on the team has noticed.
“Sleepless night?” Klinger asks him softly, he’s still angry at Jamie for his behaviour about Kaner, for the way he’d treated Segs, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still Jamie’s friend.
Jamie nods.
“Feeling bad about how you treated Segs?” It’s the other Jamie who chirps in with that, perhaps unnecessarily harsh.
Surprisingly, Jamie just nods, “That, and I broke up with Katie.”
“Shit,” Klinger crouches down in front of him, “Not cool bro, you need to talk?”
Jamie shakes his head, “I need to get out on the ice.”
___
After practise he grabs Tyler by the bicep, “I’m sorry for running out last night.” He says softly, “Can we finish our talk.”
Tyler thinks about saying no, but though he’s been being an ass recently, Jamie still has 6 years of good friendship banked up. “Let’s grab lunch from somewhere and take it back to mine.”
They’re quiet while they get their food, and while they eat it. And this time, when they sit in silence on the couch, Tyler doesn’t push Jamie to start speaking.
Eventually however, Jamie does. “Do you think we should get married?”
“What?” Tyler stares at him, boggled, “Where the fuck did that come from?”
“Everyone’s married to their best friend – and I don’t feel anyone else could be more my best friend than you.”
“I mean, ditto Chubbs, but,” Tyler shakes his head softly, “You’re straight.”
“What if I wasn’t.” Jamie’s quite insistent. “If I was gay, would you marry me?”
“I mean…” Tyler can’t pretend he hasn’t thought about it, “I’d probably at least want to date you for a bit first.”
“We should date.”
If you’d told Tyler a month ago that he’d turn down Jamie Benn saying those words, he’d have laughed in your face. But he finds himself shaking his head, “Ok, first of all, you’re straight.”
Jamie shrugs, like that’s a minor inconvenience to him.
“And second of all, I am not being your fucking rebound.”
Jamie nods, solemnly, and then, surprising Tyler yet again, asks, “How long.”
“What?”
“How long until you’re won’t feel like a rebound?” Jamie is deadly serious in his questioning.
Tyler takes a moment, and then looks at the serious look on Jamie’s face, before quietly confessing, “Probably about a month.” It’s a lie. He doesn’t feel like a rebound right now, he feels like Jamie dumped his girlfriend FOR Tyler, but he needs time to get his head on straight. “That doesn’t solve the main problem though.”
“The fact that I don’t sleep with men?”
Tyler nods.
“Leave that with me.” Jamie grins at him, like he has a plan to solve this just like he has a plan to solve everything. “Can we be friends again now?”
“You gonna whinge if I sext Kaner?”
Jamie appears to think for a minute, “Do you like him more than me?”
“Never,” Tyler laughs.
Jamie shrugs, “Then I’m fine with it.”
Tyler can feel them slip back into their easy friendship, and it’s like a warm coat that he’d lost, and is just slipping back into right in the cold of winter. “Well last I checked, you just broke up with your girlfriend – so I think that calls for beer and Mario Cart.”
---
Jamie walks in the locker room to find Tyler grinning at his phone.
“Kaner?” He asks, trying to keep the quiver of nerves out of his voice.
“Yeah,” Ty grins up at him, “He’s dating Tazer.”
Jamie stares at him, mind boggled, “Since when?”
“He’s just told me.” Tyler grins, “They’re in a romantic a-sexual relationship.”
“A what?”
Of course Jamie wouldn’t know what that is. Jamie lives in a world where your best friend is the man you spend all of your time with and your girl is someone who lives at home and provides you sex and beer.
“They’re in love, and dating, but they don’t have sex.”
“Oh,” Jamie thinks for a moment and then adds pensively, “Kind of like us.”
Tyler looks at him utterly dumbfounded “We’re not dating.”
Jamie shrugs, “We will be.” He says confidently. “And we’re totally in love, so it’s pretty much the same thing.”
Tyler stares around the locker room at all the people surrounding them, “Did you just confess your love to me?” He says, why is nobody else freaking out about this.
It’s Pavs who answers for him, “You realise he tells you he loves you several times an hour, right?”
“There’s a massive difference between ‘I love you man’ and ‘We’re in love with each other’.” Tyler squeaks.
“Is there?” Jamie looks at him askance, “Because I’m pretty sure we’ve discussed how they’re actually exactly the same. It’s kind of the whole point.”
Tyler throws his hands up in the air in frustration, at least he has his kit off now – he throws everything in his bag, and grabbing his phone heads out the door, “Don’t dump your weird feelings on me Chubbs,” he yells over his shoulder as he walks out the locker room.
As soon as he gets home, Tyler fires up his laptop and opens Skype. Jordie’s online, so he hits dial.
“This is clearly important if we have to skype for it.”
Jordie grins, “Hi to you too Segs.”
“Oooh is that Tyler,” Jess appears over his shoulder, “Hey honey,” she calls over her shoulder, “Juuuuuuice, Lils, come say hi to Uncle Tyler.”
And of course, at that, Tyler has to call his boys over to say hello to their cousins (who totally aren’t their cousins at all, but Tyler is their daddy, and Jordie claims he’s like a brother, so they’re totally cousins). There’s a good fifteen minutes of Tyler cooing over Jordie’s dogs as Jordie coos over Tyler’s, until Jordie eventually sends Jess and the dogs away, and Tyler settles back into his sofa, Marshall resting his head on his lap, nudging the laptop onto one thigh, his other two boys wander off to play with each other.
“So Jamie’s in love with you.” Jordie grins, “I mean, he always was, I’ve always said he was, he just didn’t listen.”
“I’m still unconvinced. I think he’s having a midlife crisis.” Tyler sighs.
“I mean, he probably is, but that doesn’t change the fact you’ve been the centre of his world since you moved to Dallas.”
Tyler sighs, and runs a hand through his unruly hair, “That doesn’t change his sexuality though.”
Jordie laughs, “Settle in Segs, because this is a long one. Jamie called me after you guys talked, and told me he had a plan to turn himself queer."
“He knows that’s not possible right.” Tyler interrupts.
“You and I know that’s not possible, and I did try and explain how that wasn’t possible.” Jordie rolls his eyes just thinking about his little brother, “Just wait until you hear what his plan was.”
“I’m listening,” Tyler assures him, somewhat nervously.
“Chubbs decided the best way to do this was through exposure therapy to gay porn, he said he thought if he jerked off to gay porn enough he’d turn gay.”
“That doesn’t…” Tyler starts to interrupt but Jordie cuts him off with a wave of his hand
“I know…. But get this right, he said he’d start himself easy, just choosing gay porn that he already likes.”
Tyler blinks. Once. And again. Tilts his head to one side. “Can you say that bit again.”
“Direct quote, ‘It’ll be easy Darth, I’ll just start off with the kind of gay porn that I already enjoy and I can move on from there’.”
“But….”
“I did tell him that as a straight man, there is NO gay porn that I would consider enjoyable…”
Tyler shakes his head, he can’t believe what he’s hearing, “Let me guess, he tried to explain that if it’s something he’s already into with girls, then obviously that’s why he enjoys watching guys doing it.”
“It’s like you’re inside his head.”
For a moment, they sit there in silence, staring down the computer screen at each other miles away, letting their conversation absorb.
“So Jamie’s bi.” Tyler eventually starts with.
“And madly in love with you.” Jordie grins.
Tyler sits there in stunned silence – but Darth has never been one to sit in silence. “Honestly Tyler, you’re gonna be my favourite sister in law.”
“Fuck you.” Tyler says, but he can’t stop the grin spreading. “I think I need to process this though.”
“Take all the time you need bro,” Jordie laughs, “Because Chubbs is taking his time to indoctrinate himself with gay porn.”
The skype call ends with both of them laughing.
Pat waits for the next bus ride. And asks the question. He doesn’t ask DeBrincat – he’s worked that one out already, he doesn’t ask Stromer because he thinks DeBrincat will cry if Stromer is definitely straight.
The consensus on the bus is that no, straight men do not enjoy ANY gay porn. Even if it’s gay porn of their favourite kink.
“Straight guys don’t like gay porn.” Tyler just dives in with it, they’re on a long trip. He’s got to find some way to pass the time, and honestly, confronting Jamie about this seems the way to go.
“I know.” Jamie says softly.
“So you accept you’re not straight.”
Jamie shrugs, “It’s not that simple.” He sighs, pushing his hair out of his eyes, “I’m not, there’s some…” He grins his teeth together like he does when he’s preparing to do something he doesn’t like. “There’s some aspects of homosexual sex that I’m still not ok with.”
Tyler nods, that seems fair, “I mean, if it’s just stuff you don’t want to do…” he shrugs, “We can work around that.”
Jamie shakes his head insistently, “I get that Toews and Kane are happy in a sexless relationship,” he glances nervously at Tyler, “But I really don’t think that would be us.”
Tyler nods absentmindedly, whilst he would be happy just to have Jamie in his life every day, he’s not sure he could cope with having him so close and not being able to have him.
“I’ll get there.” Jamie promises, and reaches out to squeeze Tyler’s hand reassuringly. Then, without looking across at Tyler – he leaves it there, lacing their fingers together.
Tyler takes a breath, when he speaks, his voice is low, but surprisingly steady, “When I said my perfect boyfriend would be my best friend who I also had sex with…” he takes a breath, and risks looking at Jamie, risks drowning in those beautiful brown eyes, “That’s because my perfect boyfriend is you.”
Jamie grins at him, and then squeezes his hand, “We’re going to be so awesome.”
---
The end of the month arrives, and with it, brings a big brother. Jordie doesn’t feel the need to ask Tyler for progress when he arrives at the rink, they text each other on a near constant basis. Instead, he just sweeps Tyler into his arms.
“Fuck Darth,” Tyler mutters into his broad shoulders, “You give the best hugs.”
“Damn straight.” Jordie laughs, messing up Tyler’s already messy hair, “Now tell me I’m the best Benn.”
“Can’t,” Tyler sticks his tongue out as he pulls away, “That’s not fair on Jenny.”
Jordie follows him into the players lounge – he was a star for so long he forgets most of the time that he isn’t supposed to be there, and let’s face it – nobody really cares, so he’s there when Jamie comes out of his pre-game captain duties and barrels into him.
“Hey Chubbs,” He laughs, squeezing his baby brother into a bear hug, and then, feeling Jamie soften against him, “Hey, I’m here ok?”
Jamie just nods quietly. “Brunch tomorrow?”
“You’re still gonna want to talk to me tomorrow after I kick your ass in a minute?” Jordie laughs competitively.
Jamie can’t not grin, “I don’t know if you noticed, but Ty’s out of his slump, so you guys don’t stand a fucking chance.”
Jordie laughs his big belly laugh at that, and then reaches up to scratch at Jamie’s face. “Poor beard game man.”
Jamie shrugs, “My face is prettier than yours, don’t need to hide it so much.”
---
Brunch starts quietly. They’re at home, technically Jamie’s home now, but Jamie’s home will always be Jordie’s home too – they’ve been inseparable for so long that sometimes Jordie wonders if his concept of home is not a place, but rather just Jamie.
They chat about the game, about their parents, their sister and the baby. Tyler is the elephant in the room however, and Jordie feels he has to bring him up eventually.
“I’m guessing since you aren’t mentioning Segs, that he’s what’s got you so het up.”
“I love him.” Jamie says, sudden and sure.
“I know,” Jordie reaches out and pats his baby brother on the knee, “You’ve always loved him.”
“I’m just not sure how gay I can be.”
Jordie frowns, “It’s not, I mean….” He pauses for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order, “Do you thinks Segs is hot?”
“Have you seen him?” Jamie stares at him incredulously.
“Answer the question. I’ve seen him, but I’m also very straight and very not into Tyler.”
“Fuck yes, he’s beautiful” Jamie goes glassy eyed for a second, until Jordie pokes him.
“So what’s the problem?”
Jamie flops back into the recesses of his couch. “Ugh, I don’t want to say this.” He can feel his cheeks starting to burn, “This is the worst conversation I’ve ever had.”
“Well suck it up chubbs, because I’m not leaving until you spit it out.”
Jamie sighs, and then stares up at the ceiling – if he has to tell his big brother this, he’s sure as hell not going to be looking at him while he does. “I’m totally into him, but, I’ve done a lot of thinking, and whilst I’d love to have sex with him I….” he pauses, he swears he’s red enough he must be fucking glowing, he takes a deep breath, and just lets it all out, “I’m totally fine with the thought of pitching, but not with the thought of catching, if you get my drift, and while that’s fine for a hook up, I know that in a relationship that we’re going to have to take turns, and I don’t think I can take my turn and I don’t want to let Tyler down like that…” he drifts off…. He can feel the couch vibrating.
He risks a glance towards his brother, and there lies Jordie Benn, leaning back in the couch, silently vibrating with laughter, laughing so hard he has tears rolling down his face.
“You’re an asshole Darth.” Jamie hits him on the thigh, hard. It does nothing to stop him. “Jordiiiieeee.” Jamie whines, feeling for once in his life the little brother he really is.
“Sorry,” Jordie tries to wheeze out, wiping away his tears, “I’m sorry.” He tries to sit up, but then doubles over with laughter again. Eventually he manages to get himself under control. “First of all Chubbs, talking about pitching and catching makes you sounds like a middle aged straight man, you’ve accepted you’re bi, talk about topping and bottoming like a real man.”
“Fuck you.” Jamie spits out, but there’s no venom behind his words.
“Secondly,” Jordie starts, but then the giggles start again, and he’s lost for another few minutes.
“What the fuck is so funny.” Jamie roars at him, “I’m having a crisis here.”
“No Jamie,” Jordie manages to choke out, “You only think you are.” He takes a breath, “I’m about to tell you something that I have no idea how you don’t know.”
“Ok.” Jamie sounds hesitant.
Jordie decides to just come out with it. “Segs doesn’t top.” He glances across at Jamie’s baffled face. “Like ever. He’s just not that into it.”
“I…. um….” Jamie stammers for a moment, “How do you even know that?”
“Jamie!” Jordie laughs, totally exasperated, “Everybody knows that.”
“That’s not…” Jamie flounders, “You can’t just….”
Jordie sighs, standing up, “I’m going to leave you now, because I love you – but you have hugely misunderstood how gay relationships work.”
Jamie nods mutely, he thinks perhaps he has.
“….and,” Jordie grins at him, “I need you to go and bang the fuck out of your bestie,” he frowns at what he’s just said, before adding, “And then propose, because I am done waiting for him to properly be part of our family, and if you don’t propose to him then I will propose to him on your behalf.”
“Uh…” Jamie blushes, and then confesses, “I might already have a ring.”
“Good job Chubbs,” Jordie claps him on the arm, before pulling him into one of his biggest hugs, “Now go wife that man.”
Tyler’s still staring at his phone in confusion wondering what the hell Jordie Benn smoked for breakfast when he hears the door unlock and Jamie come in.
“Why is your brother texting me about taking turns?” He asks in confusion as his best friend walks through the door.
Jamie flushes a deep dark crimson, “I’m going to fucking kill him.” He mutters, and then throws himself down on the couch, beckoning for the dogs to come over so he can fuss them.
“How come you bailed on him for brunch this morning?” Tyler asks companionably. He’s feeling chill, he’s got his best friend next to him, letting himself into Tyler’s house again, and his boys surrounding him, his hand buried in fur.
“I needed to ask you something.” Jamie says. He’s resolutely not looking at Tyler, but Tyler’s used to this – if it’s important Jamie won’t look at you, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, it just means it’s easier to build up his confidence without eye contact.
“Well take your time.” Tyler grins, “I’ve no plans.” He means it, if Jamie wants to talk, he’ll wait as long as Jamie needs – they’re in a good place right now.
Eventually, Jamie sighs, “If we were to have sex…” he starts, and Tyler sits up immediately, because that is a good start to a sentence, “How would you feel if I never wanted to…” he can hear his brother’s voice in his head, so he finishes his sentence, “…bottom.”
Tyler bites back a snort, he glances at Jamie and sees that his Captain is deadly serious. He takes a breath, “You realise I never want to top right?”
Jamie risks a sideways glance at Tyler, “So I’ve been informed.”
“You didn’t know?” Tyler can’t help but ask, “I mean, literally everything about me screams bottom.”
Jamie shrugs, “I kind of thought we’d… y’know…”
Suddenly Jordie’s text makes sense, ‘take turns’, Tyler doesn’t say it out loud though, because much though he loves Jordie Benn, he knows when not to push Jamie. “I mean,” he starts with a shrug, “I totally can top, if that’s something you want me to do…” he catches sight of the look on Jamie’s face, and carries on with a grin, “It’s totally not my preference though, and I’d be happy to never."
“Oh.”
For a moment, Jamie sits there, hands in his lap, staring at his hands. Everything he’s been thinking about for the past month is being offered to him on a plate, everything he’s thought might be a problem has been proven to not be a problem, and there’s still something holding him back – it’s stupid, but the fear that he could lose Tyler is still overriding everything, because when it comes down to this, the fear of losing Tyler is what started this all.
He’ sitting there quietly panicking when he feels something brush against the back of his hand. A quick glance, confirms that Tyler has shifted over to be sat right next to him, he laces his fingers through Jamie’s.
“I’m all in Chubbs,” Tyler says softly, “I always have been.”
Jamie looks up, for the first time, meeting his eyes, “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“Then don’t.” Tyler says softly, as if it’s that easy. And in that moment, staring into his best friend’s eyes, it suddenly is that easy.
Tyler’s lying face down on the bed, engrossed in texting Pat so he doesn’t notice when the shower turns off and Jamie walks back into the room. He does however notice the resounding slap on his ass. “Stop texting Kaner.” Jamie says, but there’s a clear note of joy on his voice.
“Hmmm,” Tyler rolls onto his back, stark naked, and grins up at his best friend, his boyfriend, and reaches out with both hands, his phone completely forgotten, “Come give me something better to do then.”
Then what can Jamie do with this gorgeous naked man stretched out in front of him but acquiesce.