Work Text:
Daisy sank down the side of a chair in the Zephyr, radio in hand. Her eyes were opened wide in shock and disbelief. The team sprinted in but she hardly noticed them through the numbness fogging her brain.
"This is not how it's supposed to be. It should be me. To fix the damage to my friends," Fitz. Andrew. Mack. Everyone. "to you." Luring Lincoln to Hive, manipulating him. It was all her fault- everything was. And now Lincoln was paying for her sins.
"You can't just die for me like this, it's- it's wrong!" her voice broke on the last syllable, sobs that she had been trying to hold back breaking through.
"I don't know. Saving the girl I love and the world at the same time? Feels pretty right to me." Daisy shook her head, clinging to the radio like a lifeline as Lincoln continued. "The jet's shaking pretty good. I hope it.. together."
"Lincoln, you're breaking up.."
"The communication system's dying. I must've fried that, too."
"Lincoln, I can't take it if you.." tears ricocheted down her face as the realization that he was leaving her behind dawned. "You can't do this!"
"I wouldn't have thought so either, but here I am."
"No, you ca- you can't do this. Not like this. I can't just.. I can't just say goodbye. I- I have too much I want to say."
"Me, too. Come to think of it, I just did. I mean, I tried. And we didn't even realize it."
"Realize what?"
"A moment ago. The first time I said I lo-" The radio cut off into static. No, no, no, she thought, eyes widening.
"Turn it back," she pleaded to anyone who would listen as she shakily stood up. "Turn it back, turn it back!"
"We can't remote access is offline," Coulson responded softly, pity lacing his voice.
"You have to. You have to. Help me, Coulson," she choked out. Why weren't they listening to her?
"Even then, the quinjet's not designed to to maneuver in space, Daisy," Fitz added.
"No, we have to at least try.."
"He wouldn't want us to."
"He's paying for my mistakes."
"No. He's paying for all our mistakes." She turned around, staring at the little screen as the small dot that represented the quinjet blinked once, twice, and then again-
Daisy sat up with a gasp, stifling a scream. The nightmare was nothing new. The person who had shaken her awake, however, was. Sousa.
"Hey, hey, you're alright. It was just a nightmare."
"No," she mumbled, "it wasn't." She trembled heavily, blinking back tears from her eyes. Gentle hands rubbed her back, murmuring reassurances. But as Daniel's face came into her vision, all she could see was Lincoln's, who died to pay for her sins. Trip, who sacrificed himself trying to protect her. Coulson and May, the two people who she was closest to, who she'd lost too many times.
She'd kissed Daniel. Sure, it was in a loop and he didn't remember it. But still- it was like she had practically invited him to die. And that was how it would end- it always did. She couldn't watch this man, who she'd only known for a few weeks but already knew he was better than most, follow this track record.
"Get out," she whispered, voice hoarse. He looked at her, confused, but she refused to meet his eyes.
"Are you sure you should be alone right now? If you don't want me in here, I can go get Coulson or Simmons.."
"Just- just leave. Please." She hated how her voice cracked on the last syllable, how tears were still pouring down her face. How as soon as the door to her little pod on the Zephyr shut, she let out horrible, gasping, wet sobs. She curled in on herself and tried to quiet down, not wanting to burden anyone else with her pain.
The door to her pod slid open and Daisy sat up quickly, swiping away at her tears as she prepared to yell at Daniel (when had she started calling him Daniel instead of Sousa?) but it was just Jemma, holding out a bottle of water.
"'M fine, Jemma," she muttered.
"Yes, I'm sure you are, but I'm here anyways."
Those words were all it took for Daisy to break down all over again. Simmons gently sat down next to her, engulfing her in a hug and stroking her hair.
It didn't take long for Daisy to tell her everything- what Sousa had said in the loop, watching him die, kissing him. And about her nightmare, and how goddamn terrified she was of losing him because everyone she loved died.
"I don't think that's true, Dais," Jemma whispered, putting the ribbed lid of the water bottle to the girl's lips. "Yes, a lot of people that you love have died. And it's horrible and you deserve so much better. But you're not a correlation in all of those events." Daisy opened her mouth to respond, but Simmons shushed her. "I was close to Lincoln, Trip, Coulson, and May as well. For all we know, they died because of me. Or Fitz. Or anyone on our team. But they didn't. They died because we have a dangerous job. Coulson said it himself, we sign up to lose each other. Not everything in the world has to fall on your shoulders, Daisy. Have some faith that the universe has some good coming for you, because God knows you deserve it."
Daisy was speechless as Jemma stood up, offering her a hand.
"Come on. I'm going to go make you a cup of tea, and then you're going to go and explain to Sousa everything you just told me."
"I- what? No, Simmons, I can't."
"Yes, you can. He deserves to know about Lincoln, Dais, especially if things between you two are getting more serious. Especially because I'm interpreting that he spent the night in your bunk if he was the one who woke you up." Daisy's cheeks flushed with color, and Jemma grinned smugly.
"He didn't! He must've heard me when he walked by or something," she rushed, and Jemma rolled her eyes.
The two girls slowly left Daisy's bunk. It was just past 4 in the morning, so the rest of the team was sleeping- or should have been, at least. Faint yellow light was coming from the common area as they walked to the kitchen. Daniel's figure was recognizable as they passed by. He was sitting on the couch, book in his lap, although it was clear his thoughts were elsewhere.
"Go on," Jemma nudged, and Daisy looked at her reluctantly, finally folding under the other woman's infamous 'Doctor glare'.
Daisy walked into the room with a sigh, fidgeting uncomfortably as she walked over to the couch. Daniel looked up as she approached, and the concern in his eyes practically melted her.
"Hey. What's up?" he asked gently.
"I think.. we need to talk," she said stiffly, taking a seat next to him.
"Okay. What about?"
She took in a shaky breath, stilling momentarily as he leaned over and took her hands in his.
"Take all the time you need. I can tell you're feeling anxious about whatever you're about to tell me." Daisy nodded, gathering up the courage to begin.
"I'm really bad at this whole.. relationship thing, I guess. At getting close to people. The first guy I dated betrayed me by selling information to an enemy organization, and then the guy that I had a crush on ended up being Hydra.. and then there was Lincoln."
"Lincoln?" Daniel prodded. Daisy inhaled sharply, wiping away a stray tear.
"Lincoln. He.. he was an inhuman, he helped me to get a grip on my powers. He came to Shield and we were together. I.. I loved him. But I never got to tell him that, because he sacrificed himself. For me."
"I'm so sorry, Daisy," he murmured.
"It's alright. It was a few years ago, I've moved on.. mostly. I think part of me will always love him. But then there's this other part of me.. there's something between us, Daniel. I feel it, and I know you feel it too."
"Yeah, I do. Did something.. in these time loops. Did something happen between us?" she chuckled.
"Yeah. We had a few moments, actually. Every time I woke up, you were there. We had some.. deep talks, and then.. I kissed you."
"Wait- we kissed?" he said, shocked.
"Yeah. It was.. it was nice," she told him fondly.
"I kissed you, and I don't even remember," he muttered in disbelief.
"Well, technically I kissed you. But the details aren't that important. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I might be able to, I don't know, go somewhere with this. But it's hard for me, and that's not fair to you."
"Because you feel like you're betraying Lincoln?"
"No. Because I'm terrified you'll end up like he did." It was silent for a few beats before Daniel spoke.
"I can't promise you that I won't die. That would be stupid, we both know full well what our jobs require. But any of us could die, at any time. I could, I don't know, get hit by a car. Struck by lightning. My point here is.. we can't control when we go, how our stories end. But we can control what we do in the time before then. We're going to die eventually, Daisy. Wouldn't it be best to live before then?"
Daisy sat back at a loss for words as his speech washed over her.
"I- I want this. I really, really do."
"I do, too. So let's take it slow, and see how this goes."
"Live a little," she said wistfully.
"Yeah. Live a little." Her eyes met his, and without a further thought, Daisy pulled him close to her and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was soft yet meaningful and when they pulled apart, her eyes had a new sparkle.
"That was nice," he remarked, and she laughed.
"You know, Sousa, I think we can make this work."
"Johnson, I have to agree with you on that."