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Reed: I've run my body through dozens of tests, compared hundreds of slides, consulted the world's leading experts. And yet my body refuses to make sense. I just don't understand.
Strange: *calmly sipping tea* Of course you don't. It's magic.
Reed: ...
Reed: ...
Reed: ...WHAT
Uatu: I am Uatu, Watcher of all permutations of what you call the Milky Way.
Ben: What we call it? Whadda you call it?
Uatu: Self-Nullifying Interstellar Coordinates K-E-R-S.
Ben: ...fuck off
Doom: We are both heads of state. I see no reason why we cannot settle this like civilized men.
T'Challa: See, if that was true, it wouldn't be something you only say after failing to murder me.
Namor: To protect my people from the surface dwellers, I have sequestered us deep underwater, in a cave as of yet undiscovered by even the most brilliant human scientists. How did on Earth did you find me?
Willie Lumpkin: This package has your address on it!
Harvey Elder: The Fantastic Four thought they could send this robot to spy on me, but my genius doesn't just lie in tectonics! I can easily use my brilliance to turn this to my advantage!
*pokes HERBIE with a stick*
Harvey Elder: how do i get tivo on this thing
Impossible Man: Mahkizmo? Your name is Mahkizmo?! Fuck that's dumb, and this is coming from someone named Impossible Man!
Mahkizmo: You talk too much. What are you, some kind of woman?
Impossible Man: I don't have a gender, actually.
Mahkizmo: *explodes*
T'Challa: My father was murdered. I've taken up this mantle to avenge him and all of my people who suffer.
Impossible Man: My planet and race were killed. Do I also have to wear a stupid outfit and fight crime?
T'Challa: I think that niche is already filled.
Ben: 📞 Hey, you seen Bruce around? It's been a while since our last rumble, I'mma little worried.
Jen: 📞 BRUCE DEALING WITH FORCES OF HELL OR SOMETHING. HE APOLOGIZE FOR NOT CALLING MORE
Ben: 📞 What? Hell?! And what's up with your voice?!
Jen: 📞 THIS YEAR BEEN A LOT
Johnny: Do you ever worry that we're only friends because we were college roomies? We don't have any common interests or goals. What keeps us together?
Wyatt: This is the first time you've spoken to me in like ten years.
Johnny: So you get where I'm coming from.
Impossible Man: I'm back again! By popular demand!
Doom: Insolent fool! I didn't summon you!
Impossible Man: Well of course you didn't, you're not popular.
Frankie Raye: Hey, I don't think we've met. I'm Frankie. You must be Ben's friend.
Greer Grant: Yeah. And you...dated Johnny?
Frankie: Yep!
Greer: Cool. Cooool.
Frankie: ...
Greer: ...
Frankie: ...
Greer: *cough*
Frankie: So, cats, huh?
Greer: I'm getting a drink.
Sue: I can't believe you sold our home!
Peter Parker: In my defense, I was extremely broke.
Sue: How much could it possibly cost to rent five stories of apartment in Manhatta--no, y'know what, I'm sorry, I knew that sounded bad as it was coming out of my mouth.
Stan Lee: You guys gotta tell me what you've been doing while you're in space, we've been dying here!
Reed: You're a writer, you could come up with something.
Stan Lee: I haven't come up with something in ten years and I'm sure as hell not about to start now!
Reed: Okay, I've managed to cure your covid. There's just one problem with the vaccine--
Ben: Stretcho, before you say another word, gimme a sec. *scribbles a note, hands it to Johnny*
Reed: --it's going to turn you back into the Thing.
Ben: Matchstick, the envelope, please!
Johnny: Well, Ben specified "permanently", so I guess Reed...wiiiiiiins?
Reed: Yeah, he didn't let me finish.