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Five-year-old Shouto Todoroki clutched his piggy bank tightly as he entered the darkened bar. He looked around. In the middle of the day, the place was mostly empty except for a drunk sleeping on a table and a little boy with curly green hair sitting at the counter.
Shouto looked around. A hand fastened around his shoulder. He squeaked.
“Rather nervous for someone who came here to hire an assassin.” The stranger smirked. He wore a trench coat that covered most of his skin. His face and hands showed horrific burn wounds. He looked like a teenager, younger than Shouto had hoped.
Shouto swallowed. “Are you Dabi?”
“Here in the flesh. Well, what little of my flesh is left.” Dabi chuckled darkly.
“Let’s sit down and discuss the job.” Shouto tried to deepen his voice. He scrambled onto a bar stool.
Dabi watched without helping. He eyed the piggy bank. “You have optimistic fantasies about how much money it takes to hire an assassin.”
Trying to look tough, Shouto crossed his arms. “Then why are you here?”
“Because I pay attention to all business concerning Endeavor across the underworld.”
“You hate my dad, too?”
Dabi bared his teeth. It wasn’t a smile. “I have more hatred for him in my partly burned off pinky than you could fit into your entire body. He has a knack for pissing people off. Now his own son wants him dead.” He said this like a private joke. Waving at Shouto’s fresh burn injury, Dabi asked, “Did he do that to you?”
Shouto touched the bandages covering half of his face. “Sort of.”
Dabi grunted. “How much money did you bring?”
Shouto poured out his piggy bank, which was stuffed with ten thousand yen bills. “I have five hundred thousand yen.”
Dabi’s eyebrows shot up. “How the hell did you get that much money?”
Shouto said, “I’ve been stealing a bill from my dad’s wallet every day for years. He never notices.”
“Heh. Not bad.” Dabi smiled a tad more genuinely. “I’m curious, why did Endeavor’s perfect little masterpiece turn against him?”
Shouto looked at his hands. “He put my mom in a mental hospital,” he whispered.
Dabi’s face froze. Heat radiated off his body. He purred, “Put away the bills, kid. I’m doing this one for free.”
Shouto didn’t understand, but he shoveled the bills back into his piggy bank. “I brought the blueprints to the house security, all the alarm codes, and my dad’s work schedule.”
Dabi threw back his head and laughed. “This is going to be the start of a beautiful partnership, baby bro—baby. Because you’re a wittle baby” He tousled Shouto’s hair. “Let’s go.”
“Now?” Shouto asked.
“Why wait?” Dabi shrugged. Shouto nodded in agreement. He’d expected more preparation, but he trusted a professional to know how to murder someone.
As they left, the green-haired boy swiveled on his stool. “Are you All for One?” he called.
Dabi snorted. “Never heard of that bastard.”
“Then he’s late.” The boy sighed and checked his watch.
Curious about finding someone his own age at the bar, Shouto asked, “Who are you meeting here?”
The boy said, “I hired an assassin named All for One to kill my father. He’s supposed to meet me here five minutes ago.”
“Oh, me too!” Shouto felt a surge of shared sympathy. “Dabi here is going to kill my dad. I hope your dad dies soon.”
Dabi rolled his eyes. “What kind of pansy ass calls himself All for One? He sounds like weakling.”
The boy shrugged. “Probably, given how cheap he was willing to take the job. He barely asked for a third of the money I stole from my dad. You get what you pay for. But I’m desperate.”
Shouto patted the boy’s hand. He whispered, “I’m not sure about mine yet, but if he works out then I’ll put you in touch with him. What’s your name?”
“Thank you! I’m Izuku Midoriya.” The boy scrawled his contact information on a napkin and gave it to Shouto
Dabi cleared his throat. “Every second of delay is a second that Endeavor gets to live.”
This got Shouto moving out the door.
Crouching behind a bush, Dabi said, “Let’s start out simple. A bomb.”
Shouto protested, “I don’t want to destroy my house. That’s where I live with my siblings. Also, why are we hiding? I can let you in through the front door.”
Dabi snorted. “Let’s just if we run into someone older than you, they might recognize me.”
Frankly Shouto doubted it, since he’d never heard of Dabi, but since the assassin was working free, he didn’t protest. “Okay. It’s a bit cold.” He shivered.
“First assassination lesson: bring a jacket next time.” Dabi summoned a small blue flame. “Better?”
Shouto nodded.
“Second assassination lesson: don’t question the assassin. Of course I wasn’t planning to set off the bomb in the house. I might hurt Fuyumi or Natsuo! We’re going to bomb his car. Can you get me his car keys?”
Shouto frowned. “How do you know my siblings’ names?” And why did he refer to them so familiarly?
Dabi raised a lofty eyebrow. “I did my research on the target. I’m a professional.”
Adequately impressed, Shouto said, “There’s a spare car key hanging on the wall in the kitchen. I’ll go get it.”
The next morning, Dabi and Shouto waited as Endeavor pulled out of his garage. The front of his car exploded.
Endeavor leapt out the door. His costume protected him from the flames. He grumbled under his breath, “Third car this month,” as he pulled out his phone. “Yes, I need a driver to come pick me up. Yes, I accidentally blew up my gas tank with my own flames again.”
“What does he mean, again?” Dabi demanded.
Shouto said, “Dad blows up his car at least once a week. He has trouble controlling his flames sometimes.” And it had gotten much worse since Mom’s so-called accident. “It only hurt him the first time. He’s installed protective materials around his seat now.”
Dabi threw up his hands. “Well, why didn’t you tell me that?”
Shouto said, “You told me not to question you.”
Stomping off, Dabi muttered to himself.
Next, Shouto helped Dabi cut the support of a bridge as Endeavor crossed it. His father fell in, but he boiled the entire lake away. Shouto thought it strange that someone else with a fire quirk hadn’t seen that coming, but he’d been told not to question the professional.
At dinner, Endeavor made an offhand comment about how he’d been remembering Touya lately, to the point where it almost felt like he was still around. Shouto had no idea how to respond to this uncharacteristic nostalgia. He lowered his head and ate.
Next, Shouto crept into his father’s bedroom at night and cracked open his window. After he’d left, he joined Dabi outside. Together, they let three snakes into the bedroom.
The next morning, Endeavor carried a box containing three snakes downstairs. He said, “Shouto, you need to keep better track of your pets. They got into my room last night and woke me up fighting each other.”
Shouto startled guiltily. “They’re not mine!”
“Oh, they must be Fuyumi or Natsuo’s then,” Endeavor said. “I know they’re domesticated, since as soon as I held out the shoe box, they crawled right in. Hurry up and finish your eggs so you can train.”
During his training, Shouto took out his frustration on the dummies. He was praised by his father for exceptional viciousness. Dabi tried to pretend he hadn’t gotten the snakes from a pet shop but Shouto found an article online reporting the three stolen snakes.
Shouto’s annoyance was slightly appeased when he learned that Dabi had spent the day building a pit trap on the front door and covering it up with fake cement. Surely, this time it would work. All Shouto had to do was keep Fuyumi and Natsuo inside.
Fuyumi was easily persuaded to hold a family board game night with some puppy eyes. Natsuo took more work, but Shouto held onto his older brother’s shirt until he agreed.
As she rolled the dice, Fuyumi said, “This is fun! Maybe Dad would like to join us. Where is he?”
Shouto shrugged. He hoped his father was currently lying in the bottom of a pit impaled by spikes.
The door opened. Endeavor marched in, bellowing, “Fuyumi! The front step is broken.” He held three spikes tugged under his arm. Another stuck between his teeth. He yanked it out.
Fuyumi said, “I’ll make a note to call a landscaper tomorrow.”
Natsuo laughed. “You look funny with those spikes! It reminds me of the good old days with Touya.”
Shouto ground his teeth.
“This isn’t working,” Shouto later told Dabi.
“He’s tough. Didn’t get to be Number Two Hero by being a weakling,” Dabi admitted. “What if we hire help?”
Shouto considered this idea. He’d never expected Dabi to take on Endeavor in a fight—Dabi didn’t look very strong. Frankly, the assassin looked like a gust of wind might knock him over. Shouto had assumed his professional would use traps, except Dabi wasn’t good at those. In a diplomatic tone, Shouto asked, “Do you think that we can get anyone good enough to beat up my dad with what’s in my piggy bank?”
Dabi laughed. “We’re not going to attack Endeavor head on! I know all the quirks of the local villains. There’s this guy who can turn people into marbles. While I distract Endeavor, our assistant will marble him, then we can smash him up with a hammer.” Dabi smirked. “I have something to tell the flaming fucker that will take him completely off-guard. I promise.”
“What’s a fucker?” Shouto asked.
Dabi winced. “Don’t say that word around Fuyumi.” He ruffled Shouto’s hair. “No need to worry your little head about it, just get the cash.”
That night, when Shouto was supposed to be in bed, they met a man wearing a trench coat and a magician’s hat in a dark alley.
Dabi said, “Mr. Compress, show my—show the kid what you can do.”
Mr. Compress bowed. “My dear audience member, let me see your pig.” Shouto didn’t move, but his piggy bank suddenly appeared in the magician/villain’s hands. With a swirl, it transformed into a marble.
“Ooo,” Shouto said, clapping his hands.
“Now, I will disappear!” Mr. Compress threw down a smoke bomb. With a swirl of his coat, he was gone.
Blinking tears from the smoke out of his eyes, Shouto said, “I think he just stole my money.”
“Damn it,” Dabi said. “Don’t repeat that word, either.”
The second time, Dabi volunteered to use his own money to hire a hitman. So far, Shouto hadn’t been too impressed with Dabi’s skill at murder, but the teenager did have an admirable dedication to the job.
After the last failure, Dabi and Shouto agreed to meet their next contact in a bustling café. Dabi ordered Shouto to stay out of sight.
Hiding his eyes behind an oversized pair of sunglasses and his hair under a cap, Shouto sat in a booth by the door. He watched as a teen with blond hair and bright red wings met Dabi. The two of them chatted companionably. Shouto’s eyes widened. He gnawed at his lip, trying to figure out if he should go over. He sent Dabi half a dozen increasingly frantic texts.
Finally, Dabi glanced at his phone. He met Shouto in the bathroom. “What’s got your knickers in a twist?”
Shouto said, “I met your so-called hitman at one of my dad’s handshake events. He’s an enormous Endeavor fan. He bragged to me about how he was going to make his debut under the hero name Hawks soon.”
Dabi paled. “He’s working undercover.”
Shouto nodded. “Please tell me that you didn’t give him your money already.”
Dabi looked sideways. “Let’s not think about the past. Let’s focus on how we’re going to get out of this situation.”
They escaped out the window just before the police team called by Hawks arrived.
Since they were all out of money to hire more hitmen, Shouto said, “I can be the distraction so you can attack my dad from behind.”
Dabi stroked his chin. “I don’t see many other options. I’m out of money. I can’t even afford another snake.”
Shouto refrained from asking whose fault that was. “Let’s do it when he comes home. He’ll be tired then.”
Dabi hid in the tree outside. Endeavor returned an hour earlier than usual. Shouto opened the door for his father.
Endeavor smiled brightly. “Give me a big hug and kiss, son! Then come with me—I have a surprise for you.”
Shouto stared in shock. His father never acted like this. But Endeavor was reaching toward him with his lips puckering.
A blast of blue flame hit him in the back. Endeavor dropped like a rock, moaning.
Dabi stood over the number two hero with his hands wreathed in fire. “It worked?” He sounded dazed. “It worked! It actually worked! I finally did it!” Dabi did a little dance. He kicked Endeavor, rolling the unconscious body over. “Before you die, I have something to show you.” He pulled out a water bottle, holding it over his head. “I’m actually—”
Endeavor groaned, then transformed into a green-skinned man.
Shouto toed the snoring stranger. “I don’t think this is my dad.”
Then Fuyumi came running over, and Dabi had to disappear.
It turned out the fake Endeavor had been a shape-shifting villain. He’d been imitating the parents of children with powerful quirks in order to kidnap them, then sell them to quirk traffickers. The media praised Shouto as a hero, under the belief that he’d been the one to burn and capture the villain. They talked about how Shouto’s exceptional love for his father had allowed him to instantly detect the fake. The police gave Shouto a medal.
Dabi cried so hard his tear ducts spontaneously regrew.
When Shouto met Dabi several days later, the villain’s eyes were still red-rimmed from tears. He kept muttering, “So close!” and “I would have had him if he’d been the real thing!”
“I doubt it,” Shouto said. “The real number two hero never would have gone down in one hit.”
Dabi scowled. “If you’re so critical, do you have any better ideas?”
Shouto shrugged. “What if we poison him? I volunteered to help Fuyumi cook dinner tonight. She thought it was cute that I wanted to be her helper. If you get the poison, I can put it in his drink.”
Dabi slammed his fist against his palm. “I’ve got it! What if we poison Endeavor? Can you slip it into his dinner?”
Shouto stared. “That was my idea.”
“No, I thought of it first.”
“You did not.”
Dabi waved his hands. “Details, details. Do you want to assassinate your father or not?”
Shouto did.
Shouto stood on a stool, washing lettuce for the salad. Fuyumi chopped up carrots next to him. She wouldn’t let him near the knife, which was a pity, because Shouto had gotten impatient enough to try and stab his dad himself.
When Fuyumi wasn’t looking, Shouto pulled out a small vial of clear liquid. He poured it into Endeavor’s beer mug, since no one else in the house was old enough to drink alcohol.
Fuyumi’s wrist shot out and grabbed his. Without even looking, she said, “Touya, don’t—” She stopped. She frowned. “Shouto? Are you trying to poison our father?”
“Yes,” Shouto said automatically, hanging his head.
An indignant squawk came from outside the window. “Don’t admit it!”
Fuyumi’s head shot up. “Big brother, I knew you were behind this!” She ran outside.
Dabi hopped down from the tree where he’d been trying to hide and attempted to run, but he was too late.
Fuyumi froze his feet in place. Then she whacked Dabi over the head with her frying pan. “This is for trying to kill Dad yet again!” She hit him a second time. “This is for dragging Shouto into it!” She slammed the frying pan between his legs. “And that’s for pretending to be dead.” Fuyumi dropped to her knees and hugged Dabi, sobbing, “I’m so glad you’re alive!”
Dabi twitched on the ground, incoherent from pain.
“Brother?” Shouto bit his lip, trying to process this. “Dabi is Touya? And he’s tried to kill Dad before?”
Fuyumi laughed. “Touya used to try to kill our father on a daily basis. He’d blow up his car, drop him into lakes, attack him with wild animals, dig pit traps, hire hitmen (he got undercover police officers twice) and poison him. Dad used to say it was good training for his hero job. Why, Dad even became an expert at animal handling. That poison Touya gave you wouldn’t have done any good. Dad has built up a resistance due to being fed poison for years. At this point, he’s immune to everything.”
Wheels turned in Shouto’s head. He thought of how easily Endeavor had shrugged off all the murder attempts. As if he was completely used to it. “It’s because of you!” Shouto pointed a finger at Dabi/Touya. “You trained Dad to be invulnerable!”
Dabi lay supine, moaning in pain.
Fuyumi peered at him. “Oh, dear, maybe I was a bit hard on him. Look at his scars. I’ll call an ambulance, then we can tell Natsuo, Mom and Dad that Touya is still alive! Dad has been in such better spirits lately, I think he missed all the murder attempts.”
Shouto’s long-lost big brother was totally useless at patricide. To make matters worse, he’d wasted Shouto’s life’s savings. At least Shouto had been able to sell the medal he’d been awarded on the internet, and he knew of another hitman who supposedly worked cheap. Time to contact Izuku and see if All for One had killed his father yet, and if so, would the villain be open to taking another job?
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: Patricide Playtime
Natsuo: Dad, you’re training Shouto too hard.
Endeavor: Nonsense! We’re only at maybe half the intensity compared to when Touya and I used to play together.
Natsuo: Uh, do you realize that Touya was seriously trying to kill you?
#
Omake: Always the Quiet Ones
Fuyumi: I can’t believe you turned to Touya for help! He doesn’t know a thing about murder! He can’t even kill people who are weak to fire and he has a fire quirk!
Shouto: I’m sorry.
Fuyumi: I’ve been slowly poisoning Dad’s meals with arsenic for years. Stop interfering in my plan, you might attract police suspicion.
#
Omake: Fourth Wall? What Fourth Wall?
Author: I see your winning streak against Tomura only lasted one story.
Dabi: Haven’t I suffered enough in this fic already without you gloating?
Author: No.
#
Omake: The Murder Continues
Shouto: How’s it going with your assassin?
Izuku: He’s completely incompetent! He took me out for ice cream and to the local zoo, but he still hasn’t even tried to kill my father. He keeps wanting to talk about why I want my father dead. Am I paying him for therapy? No, I’m paying him for murder!
Shouto: Too bad. Mine isn’t very competent either, but at least he’s got the murderousness down pat. Do you want to swap?
Izuku: My assassin wants to take me the museum tomorrow. I’m eager to pawn him off on anyone else. Let’s give it a try.
Later:
All for One: Finally, my son wants me to kill someone who’s not me. I’ll have this taken care of before lunch.
Dabi: I’ve traveled all around America, and at this point I’m pretty sure Hisashi Midoriya doesn’t exist.
Shouto: Now you can’t even kill an ordinary civilian? Exactly how useless at murder are you?
All for One: Why is Endeavor number two hero when he’s even harder to kill than All Might? Is he even mortal? Did I accidentally misplace a high-end Nomu?
Izuku: I want my money back.
#Uh, Izuku, it’s actually your father’s money #I see your fics where Izuku spends All for One’s money on All Might merchandise and raise you to Izuku spends All for One’s money on hiring All for One to kill All for One