Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ben had been twenty-three when he’d married Bazine, and she’d barely been eighteen. He’d been about halfway through law school, and she’d gotten an internship through her university at the law firm he worked at while apprenticing under Snoke. She’d had a five year old daughter named Rey who had been absolutely terrified of him; he’d leave her be to the best of his ability, largely only seeing her at meals. Rey was nine when Baz graduated college, and then, things had- changed.

By that point, Ben was already a reputable lawyer. Baz started working as a paralegal through law school- tough work, long hours that she largely had no say in. Ben was hardworking, too, but being who he was, he had a lot more free time than Baz did. Baz dropped Rey off at school in the morning, paid one of Rey’s parents’ to drop her off at Ben’s firm, and Rey would sit in Ben’s office as he worked.

She was a good kid. She was still terrified of him at first- especially when he had to get particularly nasty over the phone- but she slowly opened up. She’d do her homework at the small child’s desk he’d put in his office for her, then watch something on her tablet with her headphones or play with one of the toys he’d gotten, stowed away in the little chest beside her desk. He’d order them dinner and Baz would come in when she could; Ben would drive Rey home, stopping for ice cream a few times a week. Ben would help Rey brush her teeth and pick out pajamas for her as she showered, just like Baz used to do. He’d help her read at bedtime- long gone were the days of picture books and Baz reading her Junie B. Jones. Ben would sit on the edge of the bed and play with Rey’s long brown hair as she read out Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter, or Percy Jackson, or whatever else she felt like reading. Eventually, her eyes would drift closed and he’d gently take the book, tuck her bookmark into place, and set it aside.

He and Baz had gotten married out of mutual respect and shared physical attraction. To say he loved Baz wasn’t inaccurate; to say he was in love with her, the way a husband should be, was certainly inaccurate. But they were happy- or, at least, content. They kept each other company through school and work, they kept each other sexually satisfied, and it was nice to fall asleep beside a beautiful woman in a skimpy little negligee.

And then he and Rey had gotten close. It was soothing in a way he’d never have imagined, having her near, listening to her read, eating with her and helping her brush her teeth. To say he loved Rey was entirely accurate; to say he thought of her as anything like a daughter was wholly inaccurate.

She was… Rey. A sweet girl- a friend, as much as a twenty-seven year old man could be friends with a nine year old girl. He liked to listen to her talk about elementary school and her best friends, Rosie and Kaydie, and how both of them had crushes on various boys at school. He liked to laugh as Rey revealed how ‘icky’ that was to her, and he patted her shoulder and soothed her as she started getting nervous about not ever having had a ‘real’ crush, because the other girls at school thought it was weird.

Work bothered him more and more. By the time he was twenty-nine, he needed a change. He pretended it didn’t have too much to do with the occasional looks of horror that would pass over Rey’s face when she eavesdropped. He pretended he’d changed because of anything other than desperately wanting her approval.

Snoke was pissed, but whatever. He switched to a much less cutthroat facet of law. He made less money, though, and Baz was pissed.

Rey started middle school. Baz wanted her to play the flute like Baz had; Rey chose the clarinet, decided she hated it, and switched to percussion like Ben.

Rey was thirteen the first time she called Ben ‘daddy’. She and her mother were sitting at the table, eating, while Ben put the leftovers away.

“Can you grab the milk for me, please, Daddy?”

Ben choked on the hard boiled egg he’d stolen as he tucked the rest into the fridge. Until then, Baz was the only person who’d called him that.

He played it off as Baz snickered quietly behind him. “Sure thing, sweetheart,” he muttered, pulling out the half-empty gallon. He popped the second half of the egg into his mouth as he walked over, then unscrewed the lid and filled up her glass. “Thank you,” she said.

“Of course.”

“Such a good daddy,” Baz said with a smirk. Ben shot her a glare, and Rey looked between the two of them with a frown.

“You are,” Rey defended.

Ben felt his mouth tighten, his cheeks warm, and he ruffled her hair. “Thank you, Rey.”

Ben closed the milk and tucked it away.

“You know,” Baz said that day at lunch, eyeing Rey. “You look even older than I did when I was your age- and I had you when I was your age. And that’s been messing with me all week.”

Rey blinked, shifting in her seat. She’d known Baz had been very, very young when she was born, but to Ben’s knowledge, she was yet to comment on it. Rey’s cheeks colored just slightly. “I look older?”

“I’d guess you were sixteen, if I didn’t know better.”

Rey glanced down at her chest, then gave her mother a pointed look. Baz was grinning. “Sure, Mom.”

“You’re thin. So am I- your chest is bigger than mine. That’s irrelevant.”

Rey turned bright red at that. She slumped down in her seat and stared at her toasted tuna sandwich. “Okay…”

“Just sad that my baby’s growing up, I suppose,” Baz said in an airy voice.

Rey finished her food quickly and disappeared. Baz turned to smirk at Ben.

“Can you get the milk, please, Daddy-?”

“What are you playing at?” Ben asked finally, regarding her tiredly.

Baz shrugged, eyes gleaming. “I’m thirsty.”

“You hate milk.”

Baz shrugged. “Calcium is good for a growing girl’s bones.”

Ben sighed, standing and taking his plate with him. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Get the milk yourself, Bazine.”

“ Rude.”

Ben walked off with his half-eaten sandwich and finished it in the kitchen, then rinsed off his plate and set it in the dishwasher.

After that, Baz didn’t stop heckling Ben for Rey merely existing around him. Ever.

One late summer day, she came into his room as he sat in his bed, researching for a case on his laptop. He glanced up to see her holding a steaming mug carefully in both hands. “I made you tea, since you said you wanted to drink less coffee.”

Ben blinked, then cleared his throat. “Thank you, Rey. That’s very sweet.”

Rey walked forward, stepping onto the platform the bed sat atop, and set the mug beside his empty coffee mug. She sat down on the bed next to his leg, bouncing. “It’s jasmine tea,” she said.

“Your special tea?” he asked, appraising her. She didn’t let anyone else drink it- sometimes, Baz would steal some just to mess with Rey.

“Uh-huh.You work really hard, all the time, so I figured it’s a thanks.”

Ben gave her a gentle smile, then ruffled her hair. She scowled and leaned away. “I’m fourteen, Daddy,” she said. “Not four.”

“Mm- you are old, aren’t you?” he mused.

Rey sat in silence for a few moments, then scooted more fully onto the bed. Ben looked at her for a moment, curious, then closed his laptop and set it aside. He drew his legs up and she moved to sit cross-legged in front of him, staring at the leg of his sweatpants.

“What’s on your mind, Rey?”

“I don’t want to go to high school next week,” she breathed. “I don’t want to have AP classes and do extra-curricular activities to ‘fight my way whole-assedly’ into Harvard like you or Yale like Mom or ‘at least Brown, for fuck’s sake’. I don’t want to grow up. I want to snore through history and get straight A’s, anyway, forever, and I want to stay here and bring you tea out of nowhere forever.”

Ben was smiling sympathetically, wide and bright, his heart flooded with- too much of everything, pretty much. He reached out and dragged her closer, wrapping her up in a hug. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Rey curled into him more fully than he was pretty sure she ever had, tucked up into his neck like a kitten. He pressed kisses into the top of her head like he only did when she was sick, or in pain on her period, or something similar.

He pushed her away just slightly to look at her eyes, then cupped her cheek. “You’ve always got me, baby. And your mother, of course. I could call a family meeting for you, if you-”

“No,” Rey said, frowning. Pouting. “I already tried to talk to her about it. She’s impossible and you know it.”

Ben sighed softly, and Rey sat down again, folding her legs and resting her knees on Ben’s thighs.

“She graduated from Chandrila Prep with a toddler. She graduated from Alderaan University with a child. She graduated from First Order Law School with a preteen. I should more than be able to handle it. I should be grateful for the life and the opportunities she’s helped me get.”

Ben cupped her face in both hands, leaning forward. “You should live the life you want to live.”

Rey sucked in a surprised breath, then leaned into one of his palms, staring at him with puppy-dog eyes. “I love you, Daddy,” she breathed, cheeks warming.

She’d said it before, hundreds of times. Ben smiled. “I love you, too, my sweet girl.”

Rey nuzzled into his palm. “I’m so proud of her,” she whispered. “She’s so strong, so amazing, so impressive. I’m so proud of her it hurts- and it’s wonderful. But that doesn’t mean I want to be her. I just want to be me.”

“I know, baby,” Ben said softly. “I’m sorry. I think you should say that to her-”

“I tried!” Rey argued quietly. “You know her. I couldn’t even get that far into the talk before she dismissed it and shut it down completely. She’s a bulldozer- which is great for a lawyer. It’s great for the mother of an unruly toddler. It’s not so easy with a teenager just trying to figure out how to exist. It hurts.”

He dragged her closer again, embracing her fully.

“I can’t cope with stress,” Rey said softly. “I’d be a terrible lawyer. I cry during arguments. I don’t want to be a lawyer.”

“I know,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, baby.”

He didn’t- didn’t know how to help. It was a first and it killed him.

He pulled back, brushing her hair away from her face. “What do you want to be, Rey?”

Rey sagged into his chest. “I want to be your baby forever.”

His heart soared into the heavens, and he cradled her tightly. “You’ll always be my baby. Even if you were a lawyer one day.”

Rey huffed. “I want to be like this forever.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You don’t want to work?”

“No.”

His workaholic mind simply could not compute. He pressed more kisses into her hair. “You want to stay at home with your parents forever?”

“I want to stay with you forever.”

Him. No mention of Baz. He blinked, then kissed her head again.

They were close, by now. Rey came to him instead of Baz for most things, and Baz- the busy, cutthroat lawyer that she was- was more than happy about that.

An image of Rey, his age, still living with him and Baz stung. A beautiful young woman, smart and witty and funny and carefree, trapped at home with no goals or aspirations other than getting through each day.

And if Rey did that, it would piss Baz off. She’d get bitter, and snappy with Rey. She wouldn’t want Rey here, but Ben would never let Baz force her to go. It was his house. They had both signed a prenup.

Slow down. Yeesh.

Ben pressed more kisses into Rey’s head and Rey curled into him, leaning fully into him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said softly. Rey deflated, closing her eyes before they could well with tears, then hiding her face against his chest. It pained Ben more gravelly than he’d ever admit. “But, no matter what you do, I will make sure you’re all taken care of. I’ll make sure you’re doing good, no matter what. I’m here for you, sweetheart, forever.”

She started to cry, wrapping her arms and legs around him and dragging herself into him. He shushed and held her, rocking back and forth, trying to pretend that she didn’t have the body of a full grown woman, that he wasn’t acutely aware of her small chest all but grinding into him, that he wasn’t fully aware of those long, lithe legs wrapping around him.

He and Baz hadn’t had sex in two weeks. He blamed that whole-heartedly for his rampantly unwelcome erection. He kept her far, far away from that as he comforted her.

Rey had stopped crying and sneakily wiped her tears, as if unwilling to let him see her face when she cried. She’d settled her knees onto the bed but kept her upper body pressed firmly into Ben.

That was when Baz wandered in, and from the look in her eyes, he knew she’d heard it all- eavesdropping.

“Hi, dear,” she said.

“Hi,” Rey whispered.

“Kay’s on the line, waiting for you.”

“Okay, thanks,” Rey said. She squeezed for a few moments, and Ben squeezed back- then, Rey let go, pressed a sweet kiss into his cheek, and scurried off, nabbing his empty coffee mug as she left.

“Always be your bay- by,” Baz teased gently-

And then, her eyes found his erection. He stiffened and cleared his throat, yanking the blanket up, mind all but stopping.

Baz cleared her throat, too. His eyes found her face as his heart raced, as he listened to the blood pounding in his ears. Baz’s eyes scoured the wall as she processed that, and then, she nodded slowly. “Well. Weird.”

“Bazine-”

Baz held up both hands and started walking backwards. “Don’t touch my daughter. She’s fourteen. Other than that? If you get a stiffy from her calling you ‘daddy’ and begging to be your little stay-at-home wife-”

“That’s not-”

“It’s none of my business,” Baz said. She turned and walked away, and Ben gaped at the hallway wall when she disappeared. “Oh- Rey. Don’t keep Kay waiting,” Baz said, from a distance.

He heard her clearly. His cheeks turned crimson.

What the fuck had just happened?

Baz went to bed more fully dressed than she had in the entirety of their decade-long relationship, and neither ever even tried to sleep with the other again.

Other than that- it didn’t really seem to change much. Ben was more than happy to pretend that absolutely nothing happened, even if it meant beating off in the shower and pretending that lithe little body he was picturing wasn’t Rey.

When Rey started at Chandrila Prep, she excelled, not even having to expend any extra effort. He’d never seen her study, not once, and she was still a solid A+ student. At a place like Chandrila, she still wasn’t going to get valedictorian like that, but it kept Baz content enough. She went to homecoming with her friends Kay and Rose, but come snowcoming, the girls had dates- Poe and Finn, respectively- and Rey did not.

The week before the dance, Rey burst into Ben’s room in tears. Baz discreetly fled the room; Ben was pretty sure Rey didn’t even realize she’d been in it in the first place.

What the fuck was going on?

Rey clambered onto the bed and into Ben’s arms and he grabbed her and clutched her close, heart pounding, as stressed out as he always was when she was upset. She wept into his shoulder and clung to him for a while.

“Baby, please,” he breathed after several minutes of trying to coax it out of her. “Talk to Daddy.”

She sniffled and whimpered. “I can’t go to snowcoming.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have a date!”

“You’re telling me no one asked you?” Ben asked in stark disbelief.

“I said no,” she whined. “Snap Wexley, Beau Kin, Armitage Hux- I don’t want to go with them.”

“Who do you want to go with?”

“I don’t know! I just-... I called Armitage to see if maybe- but he’s going with someone else, and he was so mean- I just- I don’t know. I don’t know,” Rey pulled back to wipe her cheeks and sniffle. She kneeled on the bed, slumped into her ankles. “It set me off. I had a mini freakout. I just-... I just want to- I don’t know. I never know!”

Ben kissed her cheek softly. “It’s going to be alright, Rey, I promise you that much. Okay? It’s alright.”

Rey nodded slowly, then shifted forward to sit in between Ben’s legs, throwing her own over one of them, and laid her temple on his collar. He cradled her close and she clutched his arms gently.

They stayed like that for a while, until Ben risked a joke. “You always did have issues getting crushes on boys, didn’t you? Used to worry about that all of the time.”

Rey flushed slightly and nodded. “I’ve only had three.”

“Three? Anyone at school?”

Rey’s lips pursed and she glanced away. “Mr. Vos and Mr. Maul.”

Her teachers. Ben’s cheeks warmed, too. “Well. You can’t really ask them, can you?”

Rey smiled, a mix of bitter and amused. “Have you ever met a high school boy? I hate them. I don’t want them within ten feet of me, much less with their arms on me while we dance.”

He kissed her temple. “Good girl.”

Rey flushed and buried her face into his neck. “It doesn’t help that you set the bar way too high, Daddy. They’re always gonna feel not good enough. How dare you?”

He kissed her head several times, feeling sympathy and a stupid, stupid… Possessiveness. That’s right, Rey. No one will ever be good enough for you, and no one could ever take better care of you than I can. He willed his stupid mind to shut the fuck up already. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’ll start treating you like shit until they seem like good options, then.”

Rey giggled and shook her head. “No!”

He scooped her up and cradled her bridal style, and she giggled again and let her head tip back. “One day,” he said, even though it pained him. “You’re going to meet a man- or a woman, or someone else- who’s going to be so special to you that you almost forget my name. But, until then, you’ve always got me and your mother looking out for you.”

Rey curled up more, tucking into him again, and brushed some of his hair back. “I’ll never forget your name, Daddy, and there’s no such thing as someone that special.”

He kissed her forehead. “You go ahead and think that, for now. I’ll savor it while it lasts.”

She kissed his jaw and his cock twitched.

Go the fuck to sleep, big guy. You are not welcome here.

“We’ll have a really, really long time, then.”

“I hope so, darling. There’s no rush. You’ll go to snowcoming- you’ll dance with Kay and Rose and probably their dates- hell, maybe someone decent enough will ask you and you’ll have them, too. You’ll be nervous, maybe a little sad when you get ready, but you’ll have fun, just like you did at homecoming. Okay?”

Rey nodded slowly. “Okay,” she said softly.

She ended up asking Snap, who said yes, and he bought her the ugliest corsage Ben had ever seen and he glared at Snap throughout the picture-taking process as the kid shifted and recoiled in discomfort.

“Good luck getting laid after all, Wexley,” Poe Dameron snickered into his ear. “Her dad’s fucking massive.”

Ben waited a good two minutes, then came over, channeling every ounce of intimidation he’d honed to perfection at Snoke’s firm, and sat down, glaring icily at all three boys. “Obviously, Rey is very important to me,” he said. Rey was flushed but stoic as Kay and Rose giggled, leaning into her, probably teasing her behind their hands. “But so are Kay and Rose- I’ve known them since they were five. If any of you lay an unwelcome finger on any of them…” Ben leaned forward and smiled. Snap was bouncing a leg, wide eyes locked firmly on the ground. Poe was putting on a good show of composure. Finn was leaning towards Poe’s shoulder, tense and awash with faux-composure. “I will break every single one you have. Slowly. Knuckle by fucking knuckle.”

“Your dad is so hot,” Kay whispered, barely audible.

“He’s not my dad,” Rey whispered.

“You call him-”

“Yeah. I call him.”

Ben got up and walked past the boys, just to turn and clamp one hand onto Snap’s shoulder- he jumped- and the other onto Poe’s, who tensed. Ben leaned in. “You three show my girls a good time, alright? But not nearly as good as you’re hoping for. They’re good girls.”

“Yes, sir,” said Poe. Ben squeezed his shoulder.

“Good.”

Ben walked over, pressing a kiss into Kay’s head, then Rose’s. “You two look beautiful,” he said.

“Thank you, Mr. Solo,” Kay said, flushing, beaming up at him. He winked and she keened, leaning into Rey.

“And you look gorgeous, sweetheart,” Ben said, leaning down to press a kiss into her cheek- she turned and raised her head, and he added another kiss, closer to her ear. “Even with that pitiful little corsage.”

Kay giggled again.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

Ben walked past Baz, who had her arms crossed, eyes shimmering. Later, after they were gone, Baz looked over at him as he waited in the living room. “Enjoy that, did you?”

“Very much so.”

Baz sighed, but she was smirking. After a moment, she walked off.

Rey was three minutes late. He went out and screamed and snarled at Snap Wexley as he shivered on the sidewalk, Poe and Kay snickering in his shitty minivan. Rose looked sympathetic, and Finn looked at Ben like he was insane.

It helped him work off a lot of built-up steam from his gentle position and newfound, involuntary celibacy. Rey tried to calm him down, and eventually, her gentle coos worked. Ben stalked towards the minivan then, though, and Rey sighed.

Ben pounded on the window. “I know for a goddamn fact that Rose’s curfew was an hour ago, too, so you’d better get your asses to the Tico household before I do Mr. Tico a favor and kick your fucking ass for him.”

Snap hurried into the driver’s seat and peeled out of the driveway. Feeling smug, Ben turned around to see Rey was not happy with him. She waited just long enough for his face to falter, then turned and all but ran inside.

Her door was locked before he could get to it, and he sighed, leaning against it. “Rey…”

“Go away, Ben,” Rey said, and after it all, it almost hurt to hear her call him by name. “Maybe go ask Kay if she’ll forgive you.”

That made him frown, made his brow furrow. “Rey, open the door and talk to-”

“No!”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“And I’m not unlocking the door!”

Ben straightened off of the door, eyeing the wood. “Rey Anne,” he said quietly. “You’ve got ten seconds after I’m done talking to unlock this door, or you will be punished for ignoring me. We’ll figure out how when I see how much breaking the damn door down will calm me, and how much the guilt can set in before it’s decided. Ten… Seven… Four… One,” Ben grabbed the handle and wrenched it to the side, breaking the lock.

He’d made sure he could break all the locks in case of emergency, but hell, it was useful for this, too. He kicked the door open and walked inside, crossing his arms.

Rey was sat on her bed in her slip, her hair a mess, arms on the mattress as she stared at the wall. Ben closed the door, needing a moment to get it to stick after his damage.

They remained silent for at least two solid minutes- and then Rey had to open her mouth. “Guess it calmed you down a bit, eh?”

He grabbed her jaw and guided her to her feet, stern but careful not to hurt her. She gasped against his hand, looking up at him in shock as he glared down at her. “No, it did not,” he said in a low voice. “You want to act like a child? Get snarky and slam doors and act like a child? I guess you’re going to get punished like a child, then.”

Rey’s brow furrowed, lips parted in shock and confusion, and Ben sat sideways on her bed and easily sent her tipping over his lap. She gasped and grabbed onto the bed, but he didn’t let her wobble or fall- never would. “What are you-?”

“You were good, as a kid,” he said. “Not familiar with spankings, are you?”

“I’m fourteen!” she squealed. “Almost fifteen! You can’t-”

He slapped her ass and she gasped. Her hands flew to cover her bottom but he grabbed her by the wrist and held them in one hand into the small of her back. “Watch me, Rey.”

“Daddy-!”

“Shut up, Rey,” he said with another swat. “Because I won’t stop striking until well after you start behaving.”

He lifted her dress up and heaved her panties down. “ Ben-!”

Another, harsher swat. “I said, be quiet.”

Her butt was- large. Too big. Even with his large hands, he had to swat one cheek, then the other.

Like this was kinky, not familial. He clenched his jaw.

Five more swats and Rey whimpered and clenched with each one, squirming in his lap. Two more and she let out a strangled sob- ten swats. He stopped and gently tugged her panties up, then settled her dress over her again, before sitting her up in his lap, facing him and sparing her ass from her weight, like his parents had done to him.

He’d been a lot younger than fourteen the last time he got spanked, but it wasn’t like Rey didn’t still sit in his lap sometimes.

“Do you know why you got spanked?” he asked.

She scowled and he gave her a stern look. She averted her eyes and seethed. “No,” she said.

“Guess.”

Her scowl deepened. “Because you were mad that I was mad!”

“No,” he said. “Because you ignored me and threw a tantrum, and acted like a brat. Brats get spanked- I don’t care how old they are. You walk into my house when you’re fucking forty years old and talk to me like that, and I’ll still bend you over my knee. Do you understand?”

Rey gritted her teeth together. They said she had an attitude issue at school- Baz said she had an attitude issue when they were alone, in recent years- but she’d never given him attitude.

“There. The punishment is done and you understand how you earned it. Now- let’s talk about you being mad at me. That is allowed. You’re not allowed to treat me like that, though, angry or not- but, it’s done. Why are you mad?”

Rey’s scowl grew even deeper. He tugged her closer and she clutched his shirt with a faint gasp.

“I’ve got you, Rey, you’re not falling anywhere. Why are you mad at me?”

Rey turned her head even more to the side, and he sighed softly, careful not to breathe on her face. That’d be rude.

“Rey. You’re so grown, apparently, at almost fifteen- adults talk their issues through. Talk to me. I understand that you’re upset- I understand that you’re going to act like you are. The spanking was mostly for locking the door and refusing to open it, acting like-”

“I’m so tired,” Rey breathed, voice cracking. “I don’t want to talk right now. I just want to go to bed and calm down.”

He sighed again. “Look at me, Rey.”

She turned her head toward him, eyes locked on his collar.

“Look in my eyes, babygirl.”

Her brows knitted and she looked- frustrated. But, after a moment, her pretty, hazel little eyes flicked up to meet his.

“It’s late, so as long as you promise me you’ll talk to me tomorrow- and I will not let you get out of it… I’ll let you go to bed. How does that sound?”

Rey’s eyes fell again and she nodded.

“Okay,” he said, about to hoist her off of his lap, but she fell forward and curled into his neck. He felt his heart soften, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, sweet girl.”

“I love you, too, Daddy,” Rey said quietly. “Will you- sleep in here?”

Ben blinked.

She’d been eleven the last time she’d asked Baz to share a bed with her. “Maybe,” he said softly. “Do you want some milk, sweetheart?”

Rey nodded.

“Okay. I’ll go grab some and talk to your mother. You’re-... A little too old for me to presume I’m just… Allowed to do that.”

Rey nodded again, slower. He let her linger in his lap for a few moments before standing up, clutching her tightly the whole time. He bent down and lowered her onto the bed with a playful groan.

“Colorguard’s given you too much muscle. Getting too heavy for Daddy. Be easier if you’d just gotten chubby.”

Rey didn’t giggle, but she got a small smile. “Sorry, Ben,” she said softly.

He kissed her brow. “I’ll go get your milk. You should probably wash off all that makeup.”

“Yeah.”

Ben went down to the kitchen to pour her a glass, and then as it was in the microwave, he found Baz. “Ah…”

“What happened?” Baz sighed.

“She was being a brat. I-... Spanked her.”

Baz looked over, brows raised. “Ah- she’s fourteen.”

“Yeah. She was being a brat.”

Baz pursed her lips, then shrugged. “Okay.”

“She asked me, to, ah… Sleep in her room. I don’t-...”

Baz smirked, studying him. “Can you keep your hands to yourself, Daddy?”

It had been over six months since they’d slept together. Just that name from her familiar lips had him hard. “Of course I’m not going to fucking grope her-”

Baz raised her hands. “Okay. Go give the girl some aftercare, then-”

“Bazine.”

“Go on. Don’t keep her waiting.”

Ben shook his head, stalked to the kitchen to grab the milk, and walked up the steps. He knocked on the door and set her milk on the nightstand; she was washing her face in the bathroom. “I’m going to go get dressed, and I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” Rey said quietly.

He disappeared to get into some pajamas, opting to steal a still-warm set from the dryer and get changed in the spare bathroom rather than see Baz again. When he knocked and Rey called, come in, he opened the door-

She was naked, turned away from him, and he stopped dead. She slipped her nightdress over her head and he swallowed.

He just spanked her bare ass. It wasn’t any different, really. Probably.

Why had she told him to come in, though?

Rey sat down on the bed and started braiding her hair. “I want to chop it off,” she said softly.

“Chop it off, then.”

“Mom said no.”

Ben frowned. “She’s very controlling.”

Rey snorted. “Yeah. Where have you been the past ten years?”

He closed the door, mumbling something about replacing it with the spare tomorrow morning, and waited for her to drink her milk slowly. When she was done with it, she lay down, curling up with the one stuffed animal she’d kept- the one Ben had got her their first Christmas together, a large blue one that was by now worn and tattered. He turned the lights off and walked over to lay on the other side of her little full-sized mattress.

Ben had tried to get her a bigger one several times, but first she didn’t want a bigger one, and then she couldn’t find one that wasn’t too firm or too soft, and then, she had kept making plans whenever he intended to take her to the store, even.

But it was an old bed, at this point, and as his thirty-something year old body lay across it, he grunted. “Need a better damn bed,” he murmured, all but feeling the springs.

She shrugged, but she weighed probably less than half as much as him- she probably couldn’t feel them at all. She and her little bear Kylo came closer, and he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close to his chest, and pressed a kiss into her head.

“I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you so much, too,” she said. Then, with a playful gleam in her eyes, she moved Kylo’s snout to Ben’s lips and made a kissing sound. “And my Ky guy loves you, too.”

He rolled his eyes and kissed the bear. “He smells like you.”

“Good. I’d be scared he’s cheating on me, otherwise.”

Ben chuckled softly, and she curled into him even more. “On you? Impossible.”

“Mmm,” Rey hummed. She closed her eyes. “Night, Daddy.”

“Goodnight, sunshine.”

Rey smiled, then started to hum her childhood favorite song- You Are My Sunshine- softly and slowly. Her hums came slower and slower as time passed, until eventually, she was sleeping in his arms.

He kissed her again, then let himself fall asleep, too.

After that, Rey had him sleeping in her room with him at least a few times a month. By the start of her sophomore year, she was asking a few times a week, but he started saying ‘not tonight’ sometimes.

He’d always wake up with her pressed into him. He’d always wake up impossibly hard. Jacking off was increasingly insufficient at keeping himself at bay.

By the time she was sixteen, the summer before her junior year, he was far past denying the fact that he wanted her. To himself, anyway. And, by the time she was sixteen, Baz’s strictly enforced modest dress code had gotten progressively less modest.

She was having a water balloon fight with Kay, Rose, Poe, Finn, Snap, and Beau in the backyard. She wore tiny little daisy dukes and a bikini top made out of dental floss. Baz was at the patio bar, making herself a mimosa and talking with Armitage, Rose’s boyfriend, and Jess and Tallie, two of Kay’s friends. It was the Sweet Sixteen that Rey had asked for- small, just friends, all day long. Easy and fun.

Ben had Rey’s shirt in his lap, hopefully disguising the hard-on he had. He was wearing dark sunglasses that hopefully disguised the fact that he was watching Rey’s tiny tits bounce around behind the tiny polyester cups, and the way her peachy ass was the perfect ratio of muscle to fat, and the fact that colorguard had turned his skinny little ‘helper’ into the hottest fucking girl he’d ever seen.

Sixteen year old Ben would have lost his fucking mind. Thirty-four year old Ben kept his composure and stared at her, eating her up from a respectable distance.

He and Baz had not so much as brushed against one another in, at this point, a year and a half. He’d asked her exactly once, fairly recently, and she’d scoffed at him. He’d told her he’d fuck someone else, then- an empty threat said in frustration and anger- and she’d shrugged and informed him that ‘that was what she did’.

He had gone out for a walk just so that he didn’t throw something. He was thinking about getting a divorce.

He wouldn’t live with Rey, then.

Maybe that was for the best, but he couldn’t. Just couldn’t.

Rey was giggling, wrists up by her shoulders, back bent, tits pressed together and bikini cups pressed out. Poe and Kay were dousing her with the hose. He saw the quickest flash of a ruby red nipple before Rose squealed and dragged Rey closer in a hug, whispering in her ear. Rey gasped and squealed, too, hugging Rose back.

“You’re so fucking cold-” Rose started out, louder, until Poe and Kay turned the hose on both of them and Rose called out for her boyfriend. Armitage was on the move in moments, snarling cruelly at Poe and coldly at Kay.

“My boyfriend’s back, and you’re gonna get in trouble,” Rose sang out, giggling, as she fell into Armitage. The ingratiating ginger straightened with pride and contentment.

Ben fucking hated him. More than words could say. But, now that he and Rose were together, he was over all the time- just like Rose was.

Rey, giggling, stumbled closer to Ben. “Hi, Daddy!”

“Hi, baby,” he said. “Are you having fun?”

“Yes!” Rey plopped down on the lounger beside him, but sat sideways, legs on the ground. She grabbed her shirt off of his lap and immediately he straightened. “My shirt’s gonna ruin your tan lines!”

“I’m not particularly fussy about my tan lines.”

Rey set the shirt behind her, anyway, and Ben shifted so that his bulge was more concealed.

Sixteen year old Ben had learned those lessons the hardest way. Embarrassment.

“Come play with us,” Rey implored. “It’s girls vs. boys again next, and they’re not doing so hot at that. They need you to up their score.”

“Mm,” Ben said. “Too old for that shit.”

“You’re thirty-four, Daddy, not ninety-four!”

“My point stands.”

Rey, with a dramatic groan, threw herself at him and he caught her. She sat sideways on his lap, resting her head on his bare chest. She feigned a whine.

His cock was throbbing.

“Daddy, ple-ease?”

“Rey, you’re sixteen, not six.”

“Ple-ea-ease, Daddy?”

“No.”

“It’s my birthday!” Rey tried. “My Sweet Sixteen! Pay attention to me!”

Ben laughed softly. “I am paying attention to you. I’m watching you.”

“Play with me!”

“No.”

“ Benjamin Landonis Solo, you pay attention to me-!” Rey seized his shoulders and shook him with a strength he had not felt from her tiny body, and he laughed suddenly.

“Don’t you full-name me, Rey Anne Netal,” he said, scooping her up. She squealed and giggled as he held her with one hand and tickled her with the other. “Who do you think you are, Missy? I think you’re mistaken.”

Rey was laughing, squealing, and fighting half-heartedly as he walked her towards the pool. Her friends called out to playfully jeer at her and he jumped into the pool, holding her all the while, and spent the next few minutes wrestling and dunking her as much as he could.

He held her above his head, supporting her only with her palms, and she giggled and tried not to topple over. “Are you glad you got me up, Rey? Are you?”

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry, Daddy,” Rey giggled out.

“Are you? I don’t believe you. Now you’ve gone and gotten your shorts wet, and embarrassed yourself in front of all of your friends-”

“I’m not embarrassed,” Rey said.

“What was that?” Ben asked, looking up at her with a grin.

“I’m not embarrassed!” Rey said again, louder, through a bright and breathless laugh.

“Time to fix that- you’re in for it now, Netal.”

And, as her friends teased and joked, some of them joining them, Ben set about trying to embarrass her. Rey didn’t stop laughing until she backed up, hands up, tears in her eyes.

“Uncle! Uncle.”

“I’m not your uncle,” he said.

“Daddy! I can’t anymore. My cheeks and my belly hurt- you’re hurting me, Daddy.”

“Oh, is the little baby in over her head?” Ben teased.

Rey closed her eyes and nodded her head, forcing a fake pout.

“Poor thing,” he said, dragging her closer, and she squealed out through a giggle- and put up no resistance. He peppered both cheeks with kisses, then scooped her up and set her on the edge of the pool to kiss her belly. “Kisses make the pain go away,” he murmured into her stomach.

“Mmm, thank you, Daddy,” she said.

She gently guided his head back after a moment, smoothing the wet strands out of his face, and he looked up at her with a smile. He’d tossed his sunglasses away after he’d nearly broken them, but the mid-summer sun was behind clouds now, so it was alright. She smoothed his hair back for a minute or two, and then- in a voice so sweet he knew she was planning something- she said, “Daddy?”

He smirked. “Sweetheart?”

She pounced, then, and for the first time, she managed to dunk him.

After a while, he started messing around with Kay and Rose, too, sure to pay minimal attention to Kay because it always got Rey grumpy. Kay had had a crush on him since she was still in pull-ups during sleepovers, and she looked about three years younger than she was, so he didn’t really understand why it bothered Rey, but he didn’t like making her sad.

Ben got out to make a fire as the sky started to get darker, and then had Poe and Finn- who had, admittedly, grown on Ben- tend to it as he got dinner started. His baby’s favorite- big, juicy, fat-riddled pork chops. Baz was inside with Rose and Kay making angel hair pasta and corn on the cob. Snap and Beau were sitting off to the side, and Armitage was relaxing in the hot tub, eyes closed, possibly asleep. They ate around the fireplace and threw the disposable plates and silverware away. When Ben got up to make himself an Old Fashioned, Rey slipped onto a stool.

“Daddy?”

“Mhm?”

“Mama said ask you.”

“About?”

Rey bit her lip, giving her best set of puppy-dog eyes. They were newer, and they got him hard each time.

Damnit. “About what, Rey?”

“Can I have a drink? Just one?”

Ben scowled.

“My parents let me drink two wine coolers a week, only at home, only under direct parental supervision,” Kay said. Ben turned his scowl towards her.

“My Mom lets me drink until I’m drunk on special occasions, but I have to stay really close to her,” Rose offered, and Ben turned his scowl towards her.

“Rey’s a good kid,” Poe said. “I’ve offered her beer before and she told me to get fucked.”

“As she should,” Ben snapped.

Rey leaned closer, batting her eyes. “Please, Daddy? You’re right here to keep me safe. You know how shitfaced people get as soon as they can when they’re not allowed to work up a tolerance slowly, as it should be, only on special occasions under direct Daddy supervision as teenagers. Didn’t you drink when you were sixteen?”

“I was a dumbass. I got shit-faced every Friday and Saturday.”

“But you’re not a dumbass anymore,” Rey said. “You’re Daddy and you’ll keep me safe and warm even if I have a big bad drink.”

Ben sighed heavily.

“Mom doesn’t care! She only had me ask because you’re cuckoo for cocoa puffs.”

Ben couldn’t stop the scoffed chuckle that followed that. He gave a heavy sigh. “Your mother doesn’t care?” he said after a moment, glancing at Bazine.

“Let her get shit-faced, for all I care. She’s at home.”

Ben got a deep frown, but Rey scooted closer on her stool. “I don’t wanna get shit-faced. I wanna get slightly tipsy and giggle a lot while we roast marshmallows- next to you so I don’t accidentally set something on fire.”

Ben clenched his teeth, then looked up and met her eyes at last. “What do you like?”

Rey shrugged. “How would I know? I’ve had exactly three things, and it was less than half of three of Mom’s wine coolers behind your back.”

“Hey!” Baz snapped, and Ben scowled at her.

Ben set out exactly five little plastic cups and made five mini cocktails. “One at a time, let it hit before you drink another one. This is a margarita- tequila… This is a ‘blowjob’- Baileys, Kahlua, and Amaretto… This is a daiquiri- rum… This is a St. Germain- champagne… And this is an Old Fashioned, what I drink, with whiskey.”

“Thank you so so much, Daddy,” Rey cooed. She grabbed the Old Fashioned first and immediately coughed, spitting half of it out again, and Ben laughed heartily as people snickered and teased lightly behind her. “This is horrible, Ben! How do you drink that?”

Ben shrugged. “I like it.”

Rey wiggled her hand and he poured her a virgin sex on the beach; she swigged a good quarter of it. She glared at him and he smirked, pushing the St. Germain closer.

“This one shouldn’t be bad at all, no matter what.”

Rey sipped it warily, then downed it. “It wasn’t good.”

“Booze tastes gross until you get used to it, kiddo.”

“I’m not a kiddo.”

“Yeah? Then why is your Old Fashioned all over me?”

Rey sulked, frowning at the wetness on his arm. “Bully,” she muttered. “Don’t call me kiddo.”

“Sorry, sweetiepie,” he said, and she stuck her tongue out. After a moment, he motioned towards the daiquiri- she drank it and hummed in approval.

“Okay- that one is good.”

“Mm, okay.”

Next was the margarita. She didn’t like the salt and spat on the ground before the booze even touched her lips; he chuckled and downed it, then made her one with sugar, instead. “That one’s okay.”

Baz came over before Ben deigned to allow Rey the final one. “Make me a blowjob, I’ll show her how to shoot one.”

Ben scowled. “Rey’s not doing that in front of her shitty friends.”

“Hey,” they all said, various levels of offended.

“I meant the guys, not Kay and Rosie.”

Baz crossed her arms, waiting, and Ben sighed. “Rey, you drink that shot how you drank the other ones. But, sure, watch your mother do one like a slut- I don’t care.”

Baz slapped him and Rey blinked. “He’s not being mean,” Baz said. “Though I doubt you’ve heard him talk like that before. That’s just how Daddy is when he opens up a little.”

Ben shrugged, making one for himself.

“Can I have one?” Kay asked.

“Call your parents, have your mother tell me it’s okay.”

Before long, all of them had called their parents for permission except for Finn, whose foster mother ‘sucked ass’. Ben poured him one, anyway.

Baz folded her hands behind her back, took the rim of the glass in her mouth, and shot the blowjob like a pro. Everyone else followed suit.

Rey was giving him puppy dog eyes and he sighed. “Daddy, I wanna be a cool slut, like Mommy-”

“Oh, my God,” Ben said.

Rey giggled and fell forward into the bar, tipsy. “Just one more!” she said, holding up her finger to show that she knew what ‘one’ was. “Just one more blowjob so I can do it right!”

“You’re not going to be ‘a cool slut’ in front of any of your guy friends, sweetheart. I’d have to kill them all, and grave digging is not on the to-do list today. Besides, I think Rose would miss her boyfriend.”

“Me and Kaydie and Rosie’ll go inside- I’ll do it there-”

“No.”

“And you! And you can come supervise your little baby slut-”

His cock stirred again. “Rey Anne-”

“It’ll be okay, Daddy,” Rey said, looking up, meeting his eyes. “Let me live just a little, under your direct supervision.”

“I can’t stand you, or your fucking puppy dog eyes,” Ben grumbled, pouring her another blowjob as her friends cheered and joked. Baz was cackling.

He hated her, sometimes. Lightly. Like friends.

Ben carried the cocktail and stalked towards the sliding door- Rey hobbled over, almost instantly falling into Ben’s side and clutching onto his arm as if for dear life.

And he was letting her have another one. Kay and Rose followed quickly after. Ben stood, arms crossed, blocking Rey from sight as she grinned down at the drink, giggling with her friends.

“One… Two… Go!” Kay said.

Rey took the shot, falling back and gargling out a giggle, stumbling slightly when her head turned upwards. She swallowed and set it down slowly, still giggling. “Headrush- Daddy, I’m so drunk, I’m so sorry. I didn’t- wasn’t trying-”

“S’fine,” he said, scooping her up. She giggled and lay limp in his arms, eyes closed, grinning. Kay and Rose followed, also giggling.

“I’m… so drunk,” she said again once everyone gathered around the fireplace once more. With a sigh, Ben settled her on his lap, facing away. “I’m so drunk.”

Ben wrapped his arms around her and set his forehead on the crown of her head. Rey sighed, too, leaning back and throwing her arms up, then letting them fall backwards to bury her hands in his hair. “I love you, Benji,” she hummed.

‘Benji’. That was new.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

Before long, she was laying back against him, eyes closed, cheek pressed into his. He kept one arm around her waist, watching the fire until Poe gathered the sticks and Kay and Rose set up the ingredients for s’mores.

Ben roasted Rey’s marshmallows, but he let her hold onto the stick with him. She ate them messily, giggling and scooping up fallen ingredients and licking them up like she was a little girl with melted ice cream again.

Only this time, she wasn’t a little girl, but a very drunk young lady with her butt pressed against his hard on in her little string bikini top. As such, he tried not to look. And, as such, he was not successful.

“Aw,” Baz cooed, also somewhat drunk at that point. “My little baby slut, all grown up.”

Laughter, scoffing, snickering, giggling.

Rey pointed. “Not your baby slut!” she pointed at Ben, almost jabbing him with a finger. “ His baby slut.”

Emphasis on the snickering that time.

Ben cleared his throat. “Rey, baby, I don’t- think you understand how that sounds.”

“I don’t care,” Rey said with a dramatic shrug.

“Benji’s baby slut-” Baz started.

“Oh, beautiful wife of mine, shut up.”

Rey scowled, and Ben blinked. Baz was smirking, licking her teeth, eyes shimmering with some strange, sadistic delight.

Ben rubbed his eyes with a thumb and his middle finger. “What time is it?”

“Ten,” Rose informed him politely.

“You’re all gone by eleven. Got it?”

A slew of ‘yes, sir’ s and ‘okay, Mr. Solo’ s followed.

As Rey made it to her eighth s’more, she had come down to the realm of tipsy once more. She remained curled up in Ben’s lap, drawing her legs up and gently nuzzling her cheek into his. She blinked tiredly and finally managed to fully clean her face from the chocolate and marshmallow for the first time since s’mores began. Jess and Tallie had left; Finn, Poe, Beau, and Snap were in the front yard waiting for Poe’s girlfriend, Zorii or something, to pick them up. “I don’t want to grow up,” she breathed softly.

Ben kissed her cheek. “I know, baby. It’ll be okay. You’re almost done already.”

Rey closed her eyes and squirmed back into him, and Ben felt the precome start to leak into his swimming trunks. He cleared his throat. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you, too.”

Junior year, Rey skipped homecoming, but went to junior prom with Kay as her ‘bae-te’, which was a phrase that Ben hoped wasn’t mainstream, because it was stupid. She spent her seventeenth birthday on the back of Ben’s motorcycle, which had always been one of her favorite things to do. She got her license shortly thereafter, and got a permit for a motorcycle. Her Christmas present from Ben was a shiny new motorcycle, and she cried.

Senior year, she skipped homecoming again, but went to senior prom with Finn, who had just come out as gay. She joking called him her ‘gay-te’. He hated it.

Graduation. She sobbed. As her eighteenth birthday approached, Ben was sleeping beside her more and more. She was sullen and reserved for the first half of summer as her birthday, in mid-July, approached.

It was the night before her coming-of-age, and she stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Ben lay on his side, running his thumb along her far cheek, occasionally pressing a kiss into her other.

“Don’t make me grow up,” she breathed at 11:59.

And then, it was midnight. “You already have.”

Her face twisted up and she turned towards Ben, curling into his neck, and she wept as if grieving something. He held her and smoothed his hand over her back, covering her in kisses.

He lay back, pulling her with him, and she wrapped around him and clung on as if her life depended on it. He nuzzled his nose into her soft hair. “Don’t worry, beautiful girl. You’re still my baby. My sweet little darling. I’ve got you, now and forever. Don’t you cry about anything, because I’ve got it. I’ve got you.”

She eventually fell asleep, and he did, too. She got up and showered; he left her be for a while, getting ready himself, then came back to see her stoically doing her hair, her makeup. She was going to get brunch with Baz, have dinner with Ben and his parents, then go off for the weekend with Kay, Finn, and Poe- the latter of whom had just gotten together. Rose and Armitage were off on their honeymoon. Kay had fallen for Snap, hard, for some fucking reason.

“It’s not fair,” she said suddenly.

“What isn’t?”

“They all were so happy to grow up. They’re all so happy to go to college and get married and live. And I’m a stupid crybaby who weeps at the mere thought of moving away, ever, at all, for any reason.”

Ben came closer and pressed a kiss into her shoulder. “You’re not a crybaby. You’re a cancer. Your mother says that makes you a moody homebody, remember?”

Rey rolled her eyes, but she smiled despite herself. He pressed a few more kisses into her shoulder. “You’re always welcome wherever I am, Rey. To come and go, or to stay as long as you like. I’ve got you. I’ll buy you a damned mansion and fund it forever, I don’t care. Whatever my sweet girl wants, she gets.”

Rey smiled again, leaning back into him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“You’ve ruined the concept of men for me.”

“Good. I always hoped you were a lesbian.”

“No. I like men. They’re just not good enough.”

He kissed her head, careful of her hair. “You’re just too good. It’s not our fault.”

Rey met his eyes through the mirror. “You’re too good, too. Mom’s lucky.”

Ben snorted through his nose. “Yes. Me and your mother-” he stopped talking. Rey frowned at once.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He had the divorce papers sitting in his desk drawer, in his office. He’d gotten them a month ago. “I love you.”

“Are you and Mom okay?”

“Me and your mother are always okay.” Never anything more. He hadn’t been waiting for Rey to be an adult; it just happened to take him that long to get around to it.

He hoped.

Rey spun easily on the stool-thing she had in front of her vanity, looking up at Ben. She yanked him down and, with a grunt, he kneeled in front of her. She set the sides of her elbows on his shoulders, studying his face. “Daddy?” she prompted softly.

He looked into her eyes. “I love your mother. Your mother means more to me than I had once thought someone could. I will always be grateful for every moment I got with her. And, of course, I’ll always be grateful for you, that by some twist of spin, I got to be with you and love you all this time. Even if I hated your mother- and that could not be farther from the truth- I’d go through hell and back with her just to have you close to me.”

“But?”

He kissed her cheek, then got to his feet. “Get ready, doll. Shouldn’t keep your mother waiting. She’s a scorpio. Hot-headed.”

Rey rolled her eyes, a small smile forming, but she still looked worried. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too, pretty girl.”

When Rey and Baz were out, Ben filled out the divorce papers as best as he could without Baz.

At dinner, Leia fawned over Rey like she always did, and Han interrogated her about her decision to take ‘a gap year’, as always. Ben, as always, snapped and snarled at them both, often clutching onto Rey to keep her close and physically removed from his mother, often talking over his father to get him to shut up for half a second.

And then, he helped Rey load her things into Poe’s truck and watched her hug her mother for three seconds, then held her for about three hours and didn’t want to let her go.

“It’s just a weekend vacation, Daddy,” Rey breathed into his ear. She was sitting in the backseat, to the side, legs spread so that Ben could still hug her, because he was pathetic.

He pointed at Poe. “Anything happens to her, I’m skinning you alive.”

“Got it, sir.”

“Anything happens to her, I’m skinning you alive,” he said, pointing at Finn.

“Understood, Mr. Solo.”

“Anything happens to her, I’m making you watch me skin them alive and kidnapping you, then keeping you as a replacement.”

Kay giggled as Rey scoffed. “Yes, Mr. Solo.”

Ben pulled back just slightly, his arms still around her, to set his forehead on hers. “Anything happens to you,” he whispered. “I’ll never recover. You come on back to me, sweetheart. Please.”

Rey kissed him on the lips, chaste and quick. Like she used to kiss Baz, like she still kissed Kay and Rose. No one reacted at all. “Always, Daddy. Pinky promise. I’ll see you Monday morning.”

“No- Sunday night was the deal-”

“Yeah, at like, midnight-”

“I’ll be up. If I’m not, wake me up.”

Rey sighed. “Okay, Daddy. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She kissed him once more, on the lips, and he let her pull away and helped her buckle up. “Behave.”

“No.”

Ben scowled. His scowl didn’t die as he watched them drive away, arms crossed. Anger and nerves took hold of his stomach, and he had a feeling it wouldn’t go away until he saw her at roughly midnight Sunday night/Monday morning.

He was sitting in the den, drinking his seventh beer, when Baz walked over. “Wanna have sex?”

He froze, then frowned.

Four fucking years.

He looked over at her in pure, unbridled confusion. “What?”

Baz quirked a brow. “Do you want to have sex with me, Benjamin?”

He blinked three times. “What?”

Baz came in and opened her robe. She was naked underneath. “Come fuck me.”

“I heard you,” he repeated. “It’s just- not processing-”

Baz grabbed his wrist and dragged him away, and he chugged his beer and set the empty with the others. She pulled off his clothes and he stood there, frowning, as she tossed his clothes to the side.

“What about that dipshit? Dopheld, or whatever?” Her latest boyfriend.

“I dumped him. He’s a mama’s boy.”

“Mmm,” Ben managed. “You clean?”

Baz wavered, then grinned and continued on. “Yes. Sorry- just funny to me, my husband having to ask if I have STDs.”

“Oh, cucking me is funny?”

Her eyes gleamed and she grinned wider, shoving him backwards, and he crawled back on the bed, watching her as she walked forward, sultry and dripping sex appeal. “It’s not funny,” she said in an airy voice. She slowly eased her robe open and his cock sprung fully to life; he’d struggled a bit after the alcohol. And the age.

Thirty-six. He was too old.

“It makes me feel… Powerful. Weirdly sexy. Cucking big, gorgeous Ben Solo- one of the best lawyers in the world, the valedictorian of Chandrila Prep and Harvard. I’d wanted you since before I was pregnant- I’m sure you knew that. Strong, intelligent, dastardly good looks… Just content to let me fuck around…” Baz crawled slowly over the bed, naked.

He was frowning, though it felt more like his best friend was teasing him than his wife… Discussing her cucking him.

Baz straddled his lap and he laid back, holding his hands behind his head. She frowned.

This was not how it usually went. “Go on, then. You want to fuck big, strong, intelligent Ben Solo? Go on and take it, slut. Daddy’s going to sit back and relax.”

“I don’t have to,” she challenged. He only shrugged.

That was new. And he felt powerful, too.

Give-and-take.

She rode him. He came in record time- thirty-four minutes. Luckily, he stayed hard and she kept riding him until she was sated, rolling over with a delighted sigh, a blissful smile. “Fuck. Do you know how hard it is to find a guy with a cock that good?”

“Not particularly, no.”

Ben got up to shower. When he got back, Baz was already asleep.

As he closed his eyes and drifted off… He missed Rey. A lot.

Well. At least he had managed not to think about her when he let her mother ride him.

Weird. Weird. Gross. Bad.

Go to fucking sleep, pervert.

And he did.

When he woke up, he got up and took another shower, then went to work from home and worried about Rey all day. Baz brought up dinner, a plate for her and a plate for him. That was new.

Was she trying to rekindle things? Right after he finally got the fucking divorce papers?

It was nice. It was also too little, too late. He didn’t want to hurt her; he hadn’t thought it would. He hoped it wouldn’t. Halfway through a silent dinner, she got up and came back.

“Ben,” she said. Her voice was gentle.

“Mmm?”

She held up something, and he looked up-

Divorce papers. He blinked.

“We had a good run,” she said, a small smile on her face. Her eyes were sad, and happy, and nostalgic. He smiled, too.

“We did, didn’t we?” he said. He opened the drawer and tossed out the divorce papers he’d grabbed. “Save us some time.”

Baz’s smile widened. “I love you, Ben Solo, and I always will.”

Ben reached out with his left hand and squeezed hers, dragging some spaghetti onto his fork with the other. “I love you, too, Bazine, and I always will. Thank you for- all of it.”

“Thank you. I thought-” Baz laughed out softly. “Thought I was fucked, after I got pregnant. At thirteen. I managed fine- but I thought I’d be alone until she got out on her own. But you took us both, didn’t you? You loved us both. Maybe not in any conventional way- but you took care of us. I’ll never- never forget that.” A few tears ran down Baz’s face then, and he got up, took a bite, and rounded the desk to hold her in a tight embrace. He kissed her cheek when she pulled away.

They finished eating, dragging up old memories and fond stories. They took care of their plates together; she was going to go on a European tour. She’d take Rey if she wanted to go, but… “She’s been more yours than mine for a long, long while, and we all know that.”

Ben placed a hand on her shoulder. “She’ll always be your daughter.”

“And she’ll always be your baby.”

He kissed her head. Ben slept in Rey’s room on Saturday night. He worked all Sunday long as Baz packed up- for a trip. He said she could take the house from him, since he was planning on taking her daughter from her. She only laughed at that and winked.

He waited for Rey in the living room, having decided with Baz that he should probably send her to Baz for ‘the news’ and be available in case she needed him, but removed in case she very much did not.

As soon as he heard the truck in the driveway, he was out of the door. He helped a giggling, drunken Rey out of the truck, carrying her and her suitcase inside and up to her room. He kissed her cheek sweetly. “Stay put, sweetheart. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too- are you going to put on pjs?”

“Among other things. Wait here. Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise.”

Ben walked to the bedroom, getting changed and informing Baz of Rey’s drunken state. Baz walked up to Rey’s room, anyway, and Ben went to wait in the den, nothing but nerves.

It was two in the morning when a sleepy looking Rey appeared in the doorway. “You didn’t come to bed,” she whispered.

He blinked. “Did your mother-?”

“Yeah, Daddy,” Rey said softly. She reached out a hand. “C’mon.”

Ben got up and followed Rey to her room, and the two curled up. She’d started using Kylo more as a pillow than a stuffed toy, as of late, tucking him under her head. He kissed the tip of her nose. “Are you going to go on vacation with Mom?”

“I don’t know,” Rey said softly. “I don’t wanna be away from you for three months.”

Ben closed his eyes and dragged her closer. “Sweet girl. What I ever did to deserve you, I’ll never know.”

“You took care of us,” Rey said softly. “Even long after you and Mom fell out of love. You’ve always treated me like your own daughter-”

“No,” he said. “You’re not my daughter. You’re my Rey, and that’s even better, for us.”

Rey looked like she was about to cry, then nuzzled into his throat. “Yeah, it is. I’m your Rey.”

“My little Rey of sunshine,” he said softly- he’d called her that alot, almost a decade ago at this point.

Wow. Wow.

“Are you sad?” Rey asked softly.

“No, baby. Well… Maybe, a little. In a wistful, what-could-have-been? sort of way. But I’m excited for your mother, and I’m happy with my life. And I hope, one day, I can have a wife who I’m madly, deeply in love with.”

Rey curled into him, and he felt her start to cry. “You deserve the whole wide world, Ben Solo, and everything else in the universe, too.”

He kissed her head, clutching her tightly. “Mmm. I’ve got something better than all that.”

She giggled breathlessly, then sniffled and wiped her eyes. “What’s that?”

“You, sweet girl. My Rey.”

She sobbed softly, then burrowed even more fully into him. “You always will.”

“I know.”

“Do you want kids?” she asked.

“Maybe. I used to. I’m old.”

“You’re not old, Ben. You’re thirty-six.”

“And I still have to get divorced, and meet someone, and fall in love, and get married. I’m not killing hope yet, Rey. Just being realistic.”

Rey shifted, pulling slightly away, scooting up to look into his eyes. She traced from birthmark to freckle with her little, soft hand. Her eyes gleamed with emotion, and love, and he just gazed at her for a long time.

How he could ever fall in love with anyone when this beautiful girl was in his life, he’d never know. He had his doubts about the possibility. “Even if I don’t,” he said softly. “Meet someone. Get married. Have kids of my own. If you stay by my side, Rey, my life’s full, happy, and complete.”

She cried quietly at that. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, doll.”

She cried harder at that. She cupped his cheek and pressed her forehead into his.

That was how they fell asleep- Rey, then Ben, in the earliest hours of the morning, before the sun could dream of rising.

Rey was quiet all week as Baz prepared for her trip. Rey still didn’t know if she was going to go with her. Baz planned with the knowledge that she may or may not have Rey with her- eventually, Rey decided she’d go if she could invite Kay, Poe, Finn, Rose, and Armitage. Baz agreed.

They’d leave Monday.

Ben had slept in Rey’s bed all week. Saturday night, he was already laying down, scrolling aimlessly through Twitter, when Rey walked out of the bedroom.

“Kay got me this,” she said.

“Hmm?”

“This nightie.”

“Mm,” he hummed.

“Daddy,” Rey said, urgently.

He looked over and blinked.

His little Rey was in a red, velvety negligee. He could see her nipples, and the dark curls at her core, and the fact that there wasn’t much of it down there. He looked quickly away, already hard. “Sweetie, that’s- not appropriate for sleeping next to your soon-to-be-ex-stepfather. You’re beautiful, though. Of course.”

“Daddy.”

“What is it?”

“Look at me.”

He furrowed his brow, then shut his phone off and sat up, setting it on the nightstand. He looked at her face. “Rey, you should change.”

“Are you my stepfather?” she asked.

He blinked. “... Yes?”

“Then it shouldn’t matter,” she snapped. She looked- very, very upset. Angry and sad and bitter. She climbed almost fitfully into bed.

He was hopelessly lost. “Rey, you’re practically naked.”

“You spanked my bare ass.”

“Which is completely different than sleeping next to you in lingerie-?”

She sat on the bed, staring out the window, still so bitter. She sat there for a few moments, and his eyes dipped lower of their own volition- her muscular back, the swell of her ass, only half obscured by the fabric that was so thin and barren he could almost clearly see the seam of that ass… “Rey. I’m your stepfather, not your father. You’re- beautiful. You should not sleep next to me in that.”

She looked over at him and his eyes flew up to eye level before she could catch his peeping. “Do I look sexy?”

He raised both eyebrows at the same time. “Yes.” She moved closer and he inhaled sharply, leaning back. “Rey-”

“Ben.”

He looked at the wall ahead of him. “I have had sex one, singular time in the past four years. Please, please, do not expect me to sleep next to a beautiful woman wearing- that gorgeous little number.”

Rey gasped softly. “Once? In four years?”

“Yeah.”

“Daddy-”

He closed his eyes. “Also, don’t call me that- when you- are wearing that.”

Rey scooted closer and he clenched his jaw, every muscle in his body tensing. His brain knew exactly what she looked like, eyes closed or not, now.

Fuck.

“Daddy…”

“Rey-”

“I’ve had a crush on three people,” she said, and his brow furrowed in confusion. “Mr. Vos, Mr. Maul, and most of all, you. Forever and ever.”

Deep, slow inhale. His brow knitted more as his brain struggled to make sense of that sentence. His blood was pounding, heart booming slowly. He felt his head tilt slightly to the side.

“Daddy…”

“What?”

“Please, look at me,” she whispered. “I’m- scared.”

He opened his eyes and studied her face. “Scared of- of me?”

“No,” she said emphatically. Tears were welling in her eyes. “Scared of admitting this! Scared you’ll leave and never come back-!”

He dragged her closer, trying to ignore how fucking fantastic her little ‘nightie’ felt, and kissed her head. “Babygirl, you could tell me you killed seventeen people and I’d take care of it for you.”

She sputtered a laugh, curling into him. “Of course you would,” she whispered. “But this is- different.”

“Different?”

“... Dirty.”

“You are not dirty, Rey.”

Rey said nothing, nuzzling into him. “It feels dirty. And I like that part, too.”

He sucked in a breath.

Jesus fucking Christ. His cock was throbbing.

“You’re hard,” she whispered, and his cheeks burned with shame. “You’re hard all the time around me.”

Ben chewed unforgivingly on his bottom lip, eyes locked on the wall.

Her hand brushed slowly over his thigh, back and forth, and he closed his eyes and mentally chanted a prayer. He wasn’t religious, but fuck, if this situation didn’t call for it, none did.

“At first, I thought it was just ‘cause guys get hard all the time. But all of my friends say- especially since my sixteenth- that you’re into me, too. And Mama said it when she told me about the divorce-”

“She what-?”

“That she’s ‘all but certain’ you’re-... In love with me,” Rey whispered. “Like I’m in love with you.”

Ben’s brain didn’t know what to do with that, either.

In love with her.

His stepdaughter.

Who played with her little footless Bratz dolls in his office after she got out of elementary school. Who he got ice cream with and made crafts with. Who’d run up to him crying whenever she scraped a knee or stubbed a toe. Who’d shamefully wept in fear to him the first night she got her period. Who’d said he was ‘the best daddy a girl could have.’

She’d made him a fucking mug that said that. He drank from it every fucking morning.

“Why do you think it’s ‘daddy’ and not ‘dad’? Why do you think I sit in your lap and curl into you at night? Why do you think I keep reminding you that you’ve ruined all other men for me? Why do you think I gave you my first kiss last week, and my second?”

His heart shattered.

Rey shifted to look at him, and still reeling, he looked into those hazel eyes that had once belonged to a little girl he’d loved. A little girl with chubby hands. Those hazel eyes that made him melt, and made him want things he shouldn’t want, not when he’d seen them planted in a much younger face.

“Rey,” he breathed. “I… Couldn’t do that to you,” he said, voice breaking in tandem with his heart, already in little pieces on the ground. “I- helped raise you. I couldn’t- hurt you like that.”

“It’s not hurting me,” she said, tears in her eyes again. Her voice was throaty and soft and pained. “Tell me. If you want me or not- yes or no, nothing else. We’ll get to anything else. I have to know- yes or no?”

He closed his eyes just in time for the first tear to fall. “Of-” he cleared his throat. “Of course I do.”

She sighed in palpable relief and set her forehead against his cheekbone. Two more tears fell from his face.

“I couldn’t- won’t- do that to you,” he said again, softer. “Maybe it doesn’t seem like it would hurt you. But it would. It’s not cheeky, it’s not sexy-taboo. It’s wrong, Rey. I- have you the way I have you,” he said, fighting off sobs of his own. “And that is more than enough for me. And I will not hurt you by trying to change it into something it’s not meant to change into. No matter how beautiful you are. You mean too much to me.”

“I’m in love with you!” she said, and he winced- “I’m so madly, deeply in love with you that it hurts! It was different when I thought you loved Mom- when I thought you were happily married. It’s already changed for me, Ben, and you’re telling me it’s already changed for you!”

Ben shook his head.

“You’re not in love with me? What, you just want to fuck me-?”

“No- I- love you. I’m- I’m- in fucking love with you,” he gasped, surreal. Horrible. Sick. Demented. “And that is a bad, horrible thing for me to have allowed to happen.”

“No, it isn’t,” she whimpered. “Please, Ben. Please.”

He got to his feet and stalked towards the wall, running his hand through his hair. “Rey.”

“Ben!”

“Go get dressed.”

“For what?”

“For bed.”

“No,” she said. “I’m already dressed for bed.”

“Then I’m sleeping in the guest bed-” he said, walking towards the door.

“Then so am I!” she all but shrieked, getting to her feet.

He froze, looking at the top of the door jam, struggling not to lose his temper. He pursed his lips together and remembered to wipe his eyes. “I am a human being, Rey, and you do not try to sleep next to people who tell you they need to sleep alone. For any reason.”

She made a noise- a strangled, pained sob- and then dragged open her dresser drawer. After a few moments, she walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. He sat down on the bed and stared down at his bare feet on the floor. When she emerged, she was wearing a familiar white nightgown. “I love you,” she said softly.

He closed his eyes. “I’m going to hell.”

“No, you’re not!” Rey was in his lap, then, and he jumped, grabbing her arms, incapable of forcing himself to gently set her on the bed, walk to his car, and drive clear across the country.

He was going directly to hell.

“You love me,” she whispered. “You take care of me- always have, in exactly the way I needed you at the time. It can be just like that- I’m not a little girl any more. I’m not. I’m an adult, and so are you. We’re single and we’re in love. We’re not related. There’s nothing wrong with any of this.”

“There is, Rey.”

“No, there isn’t!”

“There really, really is.”

“Stop saying that!” she demanded, shrill, panicky. “I love you! I love you, goddamnit!”

He started to cry again, face twisting up. He was full of bitterness.

If things had been different, they could be together.

If things had been different, he’d never have gotten to watch his sweet girl grow up.

Everything ached. Everything in his entire person ached. He started sobbing, looking away, and she clung to him and soothed him in a way he’d never needed her to before-

“I can’t,” he said, standing up with her. Hurriedly, he set her down, backing into the safety of the door, shoving his hair away. “I can’t, baby- I can’t- I can’t.”

“Ben-” and she sounded so wrecked.

He grabbed the door handle, fumbled with it, and backed out, closing the door and leaning into it with a shaky sob.

He stood there and listened as she started to weep, only partially muffled by the door and probably Kylo, too.

The bear he’d gotten her when she was five fucking years old. After she’d opened it, she’d hugged him for the first time.

He was going directly to hell. Preferably, right in the next few moments, just to make sure Rey was firmly out of his reach forever.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he couldn’t help but sputter.

“Ben…”

He jumped and swivelled, leaning back into the door. Baz was standing not five feet away, leaning on the wall. She looked so much more gentle than he’d ever seen her. He gulped and looked away, taking about three seconds to compose himself, wipe away the plentiful tears. He cleared his throat.

“You’re making a mistake,” Baz said after a moment. He laughed, humorless and quiet and bitter, and looked away. She came closer and he tensed. “Step aside. I have to comfort my daughter, whose heart you just broke.”

“I helped raise her,” he barely breathed.

“And you did a good job. Get back in there, or get out of my way.”

Ben closed his eyes, then stepped to the side. Baz sighed.

“You’re making a mistake.”

Baz disappeared into her daughter’s room and Ben willed his feet to move. Down the stairs, to the other side of the house. Into his bedroom, to his dresser. He changed into clothes and folded up his pajamas, clothes for the next two days. He put it in the car, then walked back to the hallway outside of Rey’s room, waiting until he was confident they were asleep. He crept inside, grabbed his phone, and stole a final kiss from Rey’s lips before leaving and locking the door behind him, taking off on his motorcycle that only reminded him about how nice it was to get lost on some highway with Rey at his back.

He drove to Lando’s. His godfather. He knocked; no answer. He had to call three times.

“Ben? S’midnight-”

“I’m outside. I- I need- you. I’m outside.”

A yawn, movement. “S’a spare key- the flower pot…”

Ben found it and hung up, meeting Lando in the living room. Ben paced. It took him five minutes of a very tired Lando asking him what happened before Ben opened up and-

Spilled everything. Every last dirty detail.

Lando took it all in. Ben collapsed next to him on the couch, gripping his hair until it hurt, staring at the coffee table. He was desolate, full of self-hatred. He remembered to text Baz, letting him know he went to Lando’s. He texted Rey, too, that he loved her and that he was sorry.

“Ben…” Lando said quietly.

“It’s fucked,” he spat.

“Yeah, kid.”

Ben’s face twisted with tears again, but he looked away and fought them off. “I can’t- just abandon her,” he said. “So what the fuck am I meant to do?”

“For once, kid,” he said. “I don’t know… How to help you.”

He laughed, but again, it was bitter and mirthless. He buried his hands in his face.

He stayed at Lando’s until Baz and Rey were gone. He texted Rey a fair bit, just so she knew he still loved her. They didn’t ignore that it happened, but they didn’t talk it through.

Monday, when he intended to go, it became clear to him that he couldn’t go back to that house he’d watched her grow up in. Helped her grow up in. Lando let him stay while he found a place in the city, not quite an hour away- a fancy penthouse that was much more his style. He went back to pack, and wandered one last time. He wept into Rey’s bed, clutching Kylo, begging the stuffed animal for an answer it couldn’t give. He carried the thing with him as he went outside, to the backyard she’d spent her childhood playing in. The backyard he’d had countless erections in as he watched her spent her teen years laughing and hooting and hollering in.

He texted Rey that he was taking Kylo until she got back, and he left for his new place right after she gave the okay.

It was a horrible three months. The absolute worst of his life.

His parents came over with Lando. Ben had Lando tell them, then begged for an answer.

Leia told him to cut her off and let her live, free of him, and assured him he’d done nothing wrong- desires were natural, they were human, and he’d made sure not to take advantage of her. Han was furious, but silent. His eyes filled with pity when Ben broke down in tears.

He was going to hell. He hoped and prayed it would just happen already. This Rey-less limbo was worse, somehow.

Rey and Baz got home. Baz and Ben were divorced, officially, six months later. He’d been on seven first dates by the time the divorce was finalized, and not a single second date. He and Rey texted, at least to check in, every day. He and Baz were on decent enough terms, and she told him he was making a mistake about everytime they talked.

And then Rey called him. He almost didn’t answer.

“Hello?”

“I’m here. How do I- come up?”

“Rey-”

“I need my Ky guy.” That faux-innocent voice.

He could do this. He was strong enough to do this.

He could do this, if only because he had to. And he knew that he did.