Chapter Text
She felt it again. That euphoric feeling that meant she was alive. It was how she used to feel whenever she sang, losing herself in the emotions of the song. A humorless laugh escaped her lips as she thought of her naivety. She had thought she had a chance, that people would come to appreciate her talent. She had had a plan. She was going to take Broadway by storm, win a Tony here and there...She stared down at what she'd done, the razor in her right hand stained with the blood now bubbling from crisscrossing gashes in her left arm. She tilted her arm, inspecting the other scars splattered by the blood now dripping down her arm. They glare back at her, a constant reminder of the things she had gone through, the pain she had been forced to endure day after day. A tear slipped from her eye, but she wiped it away and fell back onto her bed, her eyes devoid of emotion as she stared at the ceiling. How had it come to this? How had she been reduced to this?
3 months ago
"We're over Rachel!" Finn shouted as he hurled open the door to the empty classroom she had dragged him into moments before. She followed close behind him, seizing his arm and whirling him around to face her, pointing an accusatory finger at his chest.
"You said you'd never break up with me!" Finn scoffed and rolled his eyes at her dramatics, oblivious to how hard she was fighting to stop the tears threatening to cascade down her face.
Rachel's lower lip trembled as she tried to find the right words to say, but the loathing in his eyes rendered her speechless. Finn shook his head in disgust and muttered so low that only she could hear. "I can't believe I ever wanted to date a slut like you."
He forcibly yanked his arm from her grip and stormed down the hallway, pushing people aside and not even bothering to look back at the girl who was still frozen in shock. His words hung in the air around Rachel like a poisonous fog, making it impossible for her to breathe. No. No this couldn't be happening. Everything had been going perfectly until she had told Finn about her and Puck. It had made sense to her, Finn had done it with Santana so she could do it with Puck. Surely Finn would understand. But everything had gone wrong. Panic overtook her as his words sank in, and next thing she knew she was fighting through the crowd desperately trying to reach the person who was towering above everyone else. Only one thing was processing in her mind. She knew she had to stop Finn, she had to make him understand.
"Finn!" she cried desperately, but her shout was drowned by the sound of students moving in the hallway.
Suddenly, she noticed a small gap in the crowd and she used her small build to her advantage, ducking under a pair of jocks and ignoring the insults thrown at her. She only had eyes for him, and now only a few people stood between them. Rachel reached out a hand, but she was so focused on Finn she didn't see the outstretched foot. She gasped with surprise as the hallway floor came up to meet her and she barely registered a sharp pain in her side as she landed awkwardly. The movement around her came to a standstill as students stared. Ignoring the snickers, she slowly sat up and raised her head to Finn who was looking murderous. His hands shook with anger as he gazed down at her.
"What do you want?" he growled, crossing his arms.
"P-please Finn can't we at least talk about th-this?" Tears poured down Rachel's face as she stared up at the cold look that had replaced the normal dopey grin Finn used to give her. She knew she looked pathetic, but she didn't care. All she wanted was for him to take her back.
"I'm done with you."
"N-no you don't mean that. We can still work this out." She reached pleadingly towards him, but he recoiled and turned away.
"Just stay the fuck away from me, Rachel! You're nothing but a whore and that's not gonna change."
The venom in his voice cut through the diva's heart, and she let her hand drop uselessly at her side as the boy she loves stormed away. A sob shook her frame and she didn't even bother to stand up, choosing instead to rest her head against the lockers behind her. She closed her eyes, trying her hardest to ignore the dull ache in her chest that had started the moment Finn had left the empty classroom.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see the blonde Cheerio who had witnessed the whole confrontation. The girl's eyebrows were furrowed as she watched Finn disappear around the corner, and she was torn between chasing after him and helping Rachel. She made up her mind when she saw the brunette curled into a ball on the floor and quickly crossed the hallway to kneel by her, pulling her close for a hug.
"Come on Rachel you have to stand up."
The diva's eyes were distant and she was unresponsive to the girl beside her.
The blonde shook her gently, "Rach?"
Rachel whimpered and buried herself into the uniform, clutching at the only person who seemed to notice her pain. She felt arms tighten around her as the person started to stand up bringing Rachel with her. She stumbled, but her savior held onto her tightly.
"Thank you," Rachel whispered, pulling herself out of the blonde's grip and wiping away the tracks the tears had left on her face.
"Do you need anything?" the Cheerio asked softly.
Rachel's lip trembled but she shook her head, "No, I - I just want to go home right now."
"But you'll miss glee," the blonde protested, "You never miss glee."
Rachel snorted and turned away, more tears blurring her vision. "No one wants me there. And I don't want to see him."
The girl beside her frowned, "But I want you there. I mean you're really bossy, but glee isn't the same without you."
"Thank you, Brittany, but I can't be there right now."
She started to walk away, but Brittany's words made her pause. "He was really mean to you, Rach. You don't deserve that."
"I do though." Rachel choked, "Everything he said was true."
"No it wasn't. I mean you're not a whore. San said whores are people who sleep around with everyone, but I'm special and I'm not one. She said she would beat someone up if they called me a whore. Do you want her to beat him up for you?"
A ghost of a smile flitted across Rachel's face before she shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think that would help. I'm sorry but I really should go." The blonde opened her mouth to protest, but Rachel hurried away before Brittany could stop her. She was grateful for the girl for helping her, but right now she just needed to be alone.