Chapter Text
"Anthony Bridgerton doesn't have any bearing on my planned weekend activities Eddie."
"I know Kit. It's just..."
Just what? Edwina asks herself.
Just how gentle his voice is whenever he asks after her sister.
Just how his face lights up whenever Kate drops by the bookshop.
Just how he looks at Kate with an odd mixture of awe and hunger.
Just the way her name sounds like a precious jewel in his mouth. The way he rolls "Kathani" on his tongue.
Just that he sets aside books he thinks she'd like and seems to have a permanent stock of the salted caramel chocolate she prefers under the cash desk.
Just that Edwina Sharma is sure that her boss and friend, Anthony Bridgerton, is completely, utterly, totally in love with her big sister Kate.
And Kate either doesn't believe it or is willfully ignoring it.
And Edwina finds that incredibly frustrating.
****
Anthony is undeniably posh. And for some reason Kate can't seem to get past that. She regularly tells Edwina that Anthony is privileged. That a rich white man has no concept of struggle. That he's arrogant and smug and vexing....
And Edwina can see why Kate might have believed that at first. But she doesn't understand why she still clings to it now. Now that she knows him better. It's almost like a mantra she repeats to herself to prevent herself from what? Caring about him? Or admitting that she does?
*****
Anthony is posh. He's rich. He's used to being the cleverest person in any given room and he's annoyingly smug about that. He's opinionated and stubborn and incredibly competitive. He's persnickety about....well basically everything.
But Edwina simply adores him. In a totally platonic way. Being as she is, more interested in girls, no matter how handsome Anthony is.
Coming from a pretty substantial amount of inherited wealth, Anthony really doesn't have to work for a living. Or if he did work, it could have been in the private investment fund that was his father's legacy. But Anthony is not cut out for banking. He loves words not numbers. Edwina knows that he tried. Quite hard. For quite a while. He tried to bend himself into the shape of a person who could make a success of his dad's firm. And to be fair he did make a success of it. But he almost worked himself into a breakdown to do so. Even though really, the Bridgertons have so much money that it didn't matter that much. And then about three years ago, he realised that his sister Daphne was actually the natural heir to his father's legacy. She had the ability to visualise the numbers and what they could do, the killer instinct, the innate commercial sense, that Anthony lacked. She became the CEO of Aubrey Equity Partners. And Anthony opened his bookshop.
Kate is wrong to say he doesn't understand struggle. Anthony was devastated by his dad's sudden death. He sacrificed his health to try and live up to what he thought was expected of him as the eldest son. To try and live up to legacy. And he suffered from anxiety and feelings of inadequacy when he walked away from that legacy. He suffered on a personal level. Anthony wouldn't put it that baldly. But Edwina's not an idiot. And she's friendly with his sisters, who are definitely less than discreet. She knows what Anthony almost cost himself.
So his story is more complex than Kate seems to want to believe.
He's made difficult choices. His struggles might not be on the scale of some of the things Kate has seen. But it doesn't mean that life has been a picnic for him.
And he's also just one of the kindest people Edwina has ever met.
He cares for Edwina as his employee in an almost casual way... Dropping a mug of chai at her elbow, making sure to carry the heavy boxes of books for her, always dealing with the leering handsy man who seems to stop by regularly, not to buy, but just to stare down the front of Edwina's blouse and try to touch her bum.
And as her friend, he is thoughtful. Remembering her Appa's birthday, the date of Mama's interview for a recent promotion, giving her the name of a plumber when she and Kate had a problem with their radiators, playing the music she likes in the shop.
His customers like him. He remembers his regulars and what they like to read. He's polite to the old ladies who come in just to talk. There are three book clubs that meet at the shop regularly. And a children's story time every Friday. He's great with the kids, patient and funny, and Edwina loves to listen to him voice the characters as he reads aloud to them.
He brings a cup of tea and a sandwich out to the homeless man who sits on the corner every afternoon. He is part of the local chamber of commerce, volunteers at a cat shelter on his days off and donates quietly to a range of charities - which she knows only by accident. He certainly doesn't boast about it.
And he takes such good care of his family. Going to football matches and school plays and piano recitals. Driving them to doctors appointments and the airport. Helping Eloise move and Ben hang his exhibitions. Worrying about them and listening to them vent. Advising them and organising everything from Christmas Dinner to gutter cleaning. Helping them in a hundred unobtrusive little ways that they mostly don't even notice.
He is a person who cares.
And Kate could use some kindness.
She has always been the caretaker. It's the greatest regret that Edwina has. How after watching her Appa a slow painful death, Kate had to become the head of their little household. While Edwina was too young and naive to realise how much of a struggle that was. While her Mama spiralled into grief and depression to the point that Kate was alone in dealing with.... everything really. She sheltered Edwina from how badly Mama was coping. How precarious their finances were. They have come out the other side. And had family counseling. They are more open and supportive of each other now. Kate no longer has to struggle alone. But those years have left scars. Kate hasn't had it easy. And she still takes it on herself to be the one who looks after her little sister. She does the grocery shopping, the soup making, the filling of Eddie's keep cup with chai to take to work if she's there in the morning. The bill paying. Organising the servicing of the gas boiler. Basically making sure that life runs smoothly. She could use someone who will look after her.
And now, her work is tough. She's a detective working in the sex crimes division of the Met. It can be gruelling. What she sees every day. And Kate doesn't talk about it much. Edwina thinks that she could use someone who she trusts to unload to. That person is not Edwina. Her big sister still tries to shelter her. Kate keeps her counsel and locks her feelings down.
She could use someone who will love her. Who will recognise how much she cares , her huge capacity for love, the broken pieces behind her air of capable competence.
*****
"Anthony Bridgerton doesn't have any bearing on my planned weekend activities Eddie."
"I know Kit. It's just..."
It's just that Kate visits the shop an unusual amount, particularly since she lives with her sister and it's not like she comes in with urgent business.
It's just how she looks at Anthony when she thinks nobody else can see her. Something unguarded and wistful in her eyes.
It's just how she gives out about Anthony's arrogance or smugness but seems to enjoy their bickering and banter. How she actually likes being vexed by him.
It's just how often she drops him into conversation. And his name is like honey on her tongue.
It's just how Kate, who has never had time for love, according to herself, has been seen tearing up at lovesongs and doodling hearts in the notebook she carries everywhere.
It's just that Kate is either denying or wilfully ignoring her own feelings.
When they were younger, Appa used to call his eldest daughter "Kitten". That little kitten has grown up to be the cat that walks by herself. Fiercely clinging to her independence. To her self reliance. Not letting anyone behind her walls. Not admitting that she wants or deserves something for herself.
And Edwina finds that incredibly frustrating.
****
"Anthony Bridgerton doesn't have any bearing on my planned weekend activities Eddie."
"I know Kit. It's just that he mentioned he would be meeting up with the Bridgersibs tomorrow, all of them that are over eighteen, and I'd quite like to catch up with El and Frannie. I never see Fran now that she's in Edinburgh.... And you like Ben and Daph....And you never get a Saturday night off. Please come out with us Kit."
It's not just that Edwina wants to see her friends though.
It's that she wishes these two clowns would actually tell each other how they feel.
She wishes Kate would unbend and Anthony would be brave.
They could be so good together.
It's just that they need to take a chance.