Chapter Text
Dan,
I can’t tell you how sorry I am about telling your dad. Of course, if you would talk to me, I could tell you myself. I know I’ve pretty much done everything wrong with trying to be your friend or more. I wish I could go back and be a better friend. I was jealous of your bloodsu boyfriend but I swear I can handle it better now. I’ve gotten more used to my new thing and while I still get frustrated…
Ugh, I can’t even finish reading this crap. Does he honestly think crossing out the words will make me unable to read them? Jacob’s letter which was passed to me from dad, who got it from Billy, goes straight into the trash next to my desk. Just another reason he is too young for me, passing notes like it’s third fucking grade.
Jacob writing me at least helped to confirm a theory I had that there wasn’t an alpha injunction against contacting me this time. Which makes sense, the last time Sam played at that shit I had to beat his ass. Sadly, it meant that Jared and Paul were choosing not to talk to me, which sucks. I’d tried calling. I’d left messages and texted them with no replies. I didn’t like it but I refused to come off as a needy bitch about it, either. If they were going to be like this then I would focus on my other friends. Maybe I’ll see what Mike is up to tonight…
My thoughts were interrupted by the blaring tone of the smoke detector from downstairs. I skid my way into the kitchen to see dad shaking a dish towel under the detector. I look at the stove, the obvious source of the problem, to find salmon frying in a pan. I go over and take the pan off the heat before opening the back door to hopefully air the room out.
Once dad finally get the smoke detector to stop it’s blaring, I give him a flat look. “I thought we were sticking with baking our fish for a while dad. Your high cholesterol is real, old man.” Dad had been to see his doctor last week and his bloodwork came back pretty bad in terms of high cholesterol and heart disease indicators. I had tried to encourage him to look at healthier ways to prepare his food in addition to the pills that his doc wanted him to take.
Dad’s look back is equally withering. “I’m a grown man, Brendan. Capable of, making my own decisions about my body. If I want to fry my fish, so be it.”
It’s been over a week since Jacob dropped the “Dan got sexually assaulted bomb” on him and we had had maybe our worst argument ever over it. He insisted I file a report and tell him everything but I just wasn’t going to do that. I told him it was my choice and now he was throwing my own words back at me to defend his bad eating habits.
Rather than open that can of worms again, I was focused on the food. “You have the temperature up way too high. God, you could at least use olive oil instead of vegetable,” I gripe, pushing the offending bottle aside and reach into the cabinet for the good olive oil I bought. I roughly grab a fresh pan and start warming it on the still hot burner but turn it down to a reasonable temp. After bringing the new oil the right temp, I pull the burnt skin off the two filets and throw them in the pan.
I’ve gone so far into autopilot cooking the fish, that when dad finally responds, I’d all but forgotten he was there. “You didn’t have to finish cooking.”
The rude, snarky tone that’s been the norm for the last week is surprisingly absent. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I did if I wanted to keep the damn smoke detector silent but I hold it back. I hate that dad and I were still like this. My time left with him is limited and every day that we were fighting over this shit just made me more and more upset and frustrated.
“I was already down here,” I reply lightly while I pull the filets off to rest. Dad stays silent as I pull out the stuff we had and tossed together a salad to go with the fish. I had planned for us to have rice tonight too but the fish was ready so there was no time left for it.
I plated our fish and salad and brought them over to the table. “Should be edible,” I tell him before also grabbing the vinaigrette dressing I had bought for the salad.
Dad raises and eyebrow at the dressing. “What’s that?” he asks in a still light tone.
“Cranberry vinaigrette. It’s sweet without being fatty, like ranch. Just try it before you decide you hate it, please.”
Dad dabs some on his finger and gives it a taste. He must not hate it as he proceeds to put way too much on his salad but I’ll take the win. We eat in silence because I have no idea what to say. I miss our easy sarcastic banter. Everything either one of us has said for the past week has dissolved into a fight, so being quiet seems like the better part of valor.
Dad finished before me and heads to the sink to start cleanup. He’ll have a hell of a time getting the char out of that first pan he used but it’s his own fault anyway. After finishing my meal, I drop my dishes at the edge of the sink before turning to head back to my room but I stop when the water suddenly cuts off.
“I hate that things are like this, son,” he says softly.
I take a breath before replying calmly, “My stubbornness comes naturally; you know.”
That gets me a small chuckle, instead of a biting comeback. “Sure, obviously runs in the family. Look, Dan… We’ve already gone all around this whole thing and it’s obvious neither of us are going to change our minds about where we stand but can we at least end the cold war?”
I can’t help but smile that we are at least on the same page about that. “Yeah, I can do that. I am curious though, if you still think what you want me to do is right, then why let it lay?” I ask.
It’s dad’s turn to take a breath. “Truthfully, I haven’t changed my mind about it at all but I won’t let what that scumbag did hurt our relationship any more. I hate fighting with you son. It’s not like I can’t see your point of view on what coming forward would mean for you but as a cop and as your dad, I want this guy to pay so bad. Can you understand that?”
“Dad, what he did is something that happens in dance clubs every day and before you say anything, I know it isn’t the same circumstance at all.”
“How do you know about what happens in dance clubs?”
Walked into that one. “Can we just leave it that I do? I haven’t been to one since I’ve lived here if that helps at all. I promise you that I’m over it.” It is the truth. I hadn’t had a dream or skeevy feelings about it in weeks.
His face doesn’t seem convinced so I also admit, “I have talked about it with someone who has helped me, ok?”
“Edward?” he asks.
More like fighting with Edward about it. Edward has been similar to dad in regards to his feelings about me being groped, but instead of getting the guy arrested, he simply wanted to make him disappear. Little, pacifist Edward was out for blood and I didn’t like it one little bit. The death penalty was a pretty over the top punishment, plus it went against his beliefs and morals, which instantly made it a no-go in my mind.
Even though Edward already knew the story by the time we’d stepped into the house after Jacob had spilled the beans, I was supremely annoyed when dad just blurted everything out right in front of him. Being reminded of this darkens my mood, even with the truce we’ve just started.
“No dad, not Edward. He is even more irrational about it than you are,” I say with annoyance lacing the words.
He holds his hands up. “He cares about you, just like I do. I’m sorry I brought it all up in front of him but I thought…”
I can’t help interrupting, “I know what you thought. You assumed that we would be instantly back together again but…”
He cuts back in, “You have made your position on your relationship with Edward crystal clear. Is it really so wrong to root for you kids to get back together?”
A lot of me is still hurt and wary of allowing myself to be with Edward again. It’s still a lot but I haven’t totally closed that door, so I honestly reply, “No.”
“Alright, good. So, if not Edward, then who do you talk to?”
I ponder a moment before deciding to answer. “If you must know, it’s Adam.” True to his word, Adam has continued to force the issue and brings it up every few times we talk. He doesn’t make it into some kind of therapy session, at least. He just checks in with me and makes sure I’m doing better about it. Thankfully, unlike the others in my life who know about it, he doesn’t push me to do anything about it, that I don’t want to. I haven’t slammed him into any more doors so I consider it progress.
While he has been great about the Tomlinson thing, since the day I tried to give him the it’s not you, it’s me speech, Adam has definitely upped his flirting game. He has made his intentions very clear. While his efforts have virtually no chance of succeeding, instead of being annoying like a certain creeper wolf, Adam’s attention does give me a secret little thrill.
I’ve never put much of my personal self-esteem on what others think of me but something about the way Adam seems to appreciate me just makes me feel good. It goes beyond the fact he is hot for my body. Even though I didn’t run a spring course, Adam still compliments me on my teaching and the connections I’ve made with my kids. He acknowledges the effort I’ve put in to do a good job there. He doesn’t know the first thing about cars or bikes but has taken it upon himself to learn a few things so he can talk to me about one of my biggest interests. Then there’s the not always subtle little reminders he likes to give me about how he would be such a good boy for me in bed.
Being totally honest with myself, Adam is total boyfriend material. I was already seeing that while Edward was gone and it’s just gotten clearer. Unfortunately for Adam, my life as I know it has an expiration date.
“Something more going on there than I’m aware of, kid?” dad asks.
I shake my head. “No, old man. Maybe you should find yourself a dating life so you won’t have to live vicariously through mine…” I reply with a smile so he knows I’m not actually mad.
“It is every parent’s right and responsibility to be nosy about their child’s love life; hell, their life in general,” he says with an equally big smile. “Don’t get me wrong, Adam is a good kid. If you weren’t so mature, I’d think he was too old for you but just FYI, I wouldn’t mind if you and he got together.” He pauses before finishing. “I still find myself rooting for Edward.”
I wonder what he would think if he knew exactly how old Edward is. “Ugh, you’re ridiculous.”
He laughs outright. “Keeping with the theme, did you read Jake’s letter?”
I groan but am thankful for the change in direction. “I tried, dad, I really did but holy crap is that kid young. If I’m mature for my age, Jacob is an infant. I know, the Blacks are family but Jacob is pretty much buried on my shit list. No matter how clear I make myself, he can’t stop with the heart eyes. At first it was kind of cute that the kid had a crush but now it is just so fucking irritating. He doesn’t respect my boundaries and him sharing my private business that he should have never known about in the first place was the last straw!”
By the end, I’m yelling and dad is obviously surprised by the anger, so I tell him, “I’m not mad at you for giving me the letter, ok? I’m just super over Jacob and his shit.”
“So, does that mean that Billy and I should scrap that marriage contract for real this time?” dad asks sarcastically.
“And people always figured my sarcasm come from mom,” I say before turning back toward the living room.
“Hold on a sec.” I turn back and dad’s smiling face is gone again.
“Dad, if you’re going to bring it up again…”
“No. I’m not bringing IT up again. We haven’t been talking so I have no idea if you have any plans to visit Seattle any time soon.”
That is a weird new topic out of the blue. “No plans. Did you need something? I supposed I could make a run…”
“Actually, I want just the opposite. I know you aren’t big on being told what to do, so I’m going to ask you to steer clear of going to the city for a while. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the news but murders are way up in Seattle right now for some reason and you, my son, are basically a trouble magnet.”
I huff. “I can take care of myself.”
“I know that you can, Brendan but it would do me some good to know you will be around for a long, long time. You managed to end up in the ER multiple times just being here in our small town. I can’t imagine how people live in big cities with such crime…”
Inside I cringe at his words about me being around for a long time but outwardly, I scoff. “Dad, I lived in Phoenix for most of my life where crime is actually way worse than Seattle. Never had a whiff of trouble but get me in this small town and bam.” It hurts making a joke about it but I’ve chosen my course and there is no turning back.
“Nevertheless, just do your old man a favor and steer clear.”
I really didn’t have any reason to go into Seattle anytime soon so I wasn’t really giving up anything by agreeing. “I can do that.”
He nods. “Good man,” he says while patting my shoulder and pinching the back of my neck.
Our heart to heart was finally brought to an end by three quick knocks on the front door.
“Expecting someone?”
“No,” I reply heading for the door. Maybe my earlier though of hanging with Mike could have summoned him.
I pull open the door to find not Mike, not even Edward but Adam.
“Hey, muscles,” he greets me with a big smile on his face. He’s taken to calling me that after we’d recently reminisced about my first karate class when the kids were so impressed by my size and muscles.
Adam looks past me and says, “Hey, Chief. Any chance I could borrow Dan here for the evening?”
I don’t bother to look back as dad laughs. “Hello, Adam. Pretty sure I have no say on my son’s coming and goings, so you’d do better to ask him.”
He looks back at me, the big smile still on his face and asks, “Well Mister Swan, wanna take me for a ride on that bike of yours?”
Even with the way that Adam has been stepping up his game, this is pretty aggressive. I’ve always been the pursuer, not the pursued and guys being aggressive aren’t usually my style but Adam is a friend at least and honestly, a ride sounds pretty nice.
I smirk back at him. “Well Mister Young…” I draw it out pretending to think about it. “Why not, a ride sounds good. Let me grab us helmets.”
As I make it back downstairs with helmets in hand, the chatter between dad and Adam cuts off. “Talking about me behind my back is not very nice of you two,” I say in a fake annoyed voice, as I make my way out the front door not even waiting for a reply from either of them.
Adam catches up to me as I’m unlocking my bike. “Please don’t be mad. We weren’t talking about anything bad, Dan.”
That’s more like it. I can’t have him thinking he gets to have the upper hand. I’d told him about Jacob going to dad about the Tomlinson thing, so he knew how annoyed I was by that. I give him a little smile to sooth his worry. “I’m not mad, I’m just done with people talking about me to my dad behind my back.”
“He asked me if I was really serious about you.”
I hadn’t expected that, maybe I should have. I knew full well what Adam wanted but still asked him, “Meddling old man. So, what did you tell him?”
“I told him the same thing I’ve been trying to show you, that I can be good for you. He said I shouldn’t get my hopes up because I had competition.”
I laughed at that. “Yeah. Dad is pretty firmly on Team Edward.”
He pouts at that but continues, “Somehow, I doubt who your dad wants you to date will influence you too much.” Adam pokes his tongue out between his lips as he says this. It reminds me of our one and only kiss.
“I make my own decisions. You already know that.” Against my better judgement, flirting has become normal with him.
He crowds himself into me, keeping little more than an inch between our bodies and it’s a new level of intense. “I do know. If you wanted, I’d love for you to make some of my decisions too.”
This isn’t the first time Adam has offered himself this way. I knew the moment our lips met that day back in the rec center gym that Adam has submissive tendencies but this full-on approach to seducing me sends a mixed signal. I put my hands on his hips and he shivers.
“Then I guess it’ll be up to me to decide when or if we do anything.” I say plainly.
Until that moment he had been looking up into my face but at my words, his eyes drop to our feet. “I apologize for overstepping, sir. You decide, of course.”
Holy shit, that is so hot! I would be lying to say there wasn't a small part of me that was tempted to take him back to his place right now but the same thing that held me back every time was still there.
I want to tell him, yet again, that I wasn’t really available. I knew he wanted more than just sex, so starting something with him when I wouldn’t be around long would be a dick move and I didn’t want to do that to him. I also don’t want to hurt his feelings right now so I hold back the lecture and use my grip on his hips to put some distance between us, causing him to whimper.
“I thought you wanted to ride my bike?” I ask, hating that my voice was a little hoarse.
He mumbles but I still clearly hear him say, “Was hoping to ride something…”
I sigh. “My bike is the only ride on offer tonight, Adam. Why don’t we head down to La Push and watch the sun set from First Beach?” I ask, realizing too late that that sounds a lot like a date.
His eyes come back up to meet mine and he smiles. “Sounds like the second-best way to spend the evening.” That sassiness is back. Before I can comment, he’s grabbing my spare helmet and putting it on.
I shouldn’t be encouraging him. There is no happy ending in this for him but I can’t find it in myself to cut him off and send him away, so I follow his example and strap on my helmet. A nice drive and quiet night at the beach with a friend, seems like a nice way to end the day.