Chapter Text
Distance was deceptive in the mountains. When Squirrelpaw had first spotted those four black spines of Highstones, she’d been certain that she’d be strolling back into ThunderClan’s camp within a few days. Instead, it had taken them more than a half-moon to reach the short, dark mountain. She hadn’t accounted for the slopes, dips, hills, and valleys that spanned the space between the edge of the Tribe’s territory and the Clans.
Even though her legs had grown stronger and the pads on the bottom of her paws had hardened after so much walking, she and the others still pushed themselves to their absolute limit each day they traversed the hills. Her muscles burned, her chest heaved, and the bite of the icy wind stung her face as leaf-fall turned to leafbare. The thought of the cold driving prey away in the Clans more with each passing day, in addition to the destruction Midnight had warned would happen in the forest, urged her forward just as much as the thought of the cat they’d left behind made her paws want to slow and drag.
Feathertail.
A pang of mournfulness rose up in Squirrelpaw’s chest as she saw a flash of Feathertail’s laughing sky-blue eyes in her mind, remembering her teasing purr and the brush of her silky pelt. She’d been such a good friend, and an integral part of their little traveling group. There had been so many moments, especially towards the beginning of their journey, that Feathertail had been key in keeping their squabbling patrol together with her level-headed suggestions and her willingness to work with everyone… regardless of what private fears she may have harbored because of Tawnypelt and Brambleclaw’s parentage.
Even now, after they had all learned to more-or-less function as a team, her loss had still been a major one. Squirrelpaw knew she wasn’t imagining the solemn silence that had blanketed their patrol since they’d left the Tribe. The teasing, bickering, and chatting that used to constantly surround their group had vanished in favor of every cat pouring every bit of their energy into making it home as quickly as possible. But the silence didn’t stop the worried thoughts from whirling around in Squirrelpaw’s head, faster than a flock of sparrows.
Squirrelpaw couldn’t even imagine what thoughts must be plaguing Stormfur’s and Crowpaw’s minds now. Stormfur was Feathertail’s brother, and they’d been as close as two littermates could be. It’d be like if Leafpaw—
No.
A sharp pain stabbed inside Squirrelpaw’s heart. She couldn’t even bear to think about her sister dying. It was already bad enough that she hadn’t seen her in so long, but for her sister to be really gone…
Although, it wasn’t like Crowpaw had it any better than Stormfur. Squirrelpaw had noticed how fond Crowpaw had been of Feathertail before he’d seemingly even admitted it to himself. Crowpaw had been so obnoxious in the beginning of their journey, Squirrelpaw at first couldn’t fathom why Feathertail had even tolerated him. But, Crowpaw had slowly revealed his kinder side— one that was fiercely loyal to the cats he cared about. And, he also had an acerbic sense of humor that he so often used to tease Squirrelpaw, half the time, she didn’t know if she wanted to burst into laughter or cuff the annoying furball around the ears.
But, what she did know for sure was that if Crowpaw hadn’t loved Feathertail, and if Feathertail hadn’t loved him back, Squirrelpaw would have never gotten to know this kinder version of Crowpaw. She certainly didn’t have the patience Feathertail had to peel back Crowpaw’s prickly, defensive outer layers. She wouldn’t have even known that there’d been anything worth it to find underneath.
Now though, Squirrelpaw would give anything to go back to the unbearably obnoxious Crowpaw from the beginning of the trip. It hurt her heart too much to see the silent, grieving shade that had taken the place of the lively cat she’d come to know. She would trade this Crowpaw in for the most annoying cat in the world in a heartbeat— and not even complain about it!— if that would take away his misery and make him happy again.
But, as much as Squirrelpaw wished that things had been different, and Feathertail had still been here… There was no changing reality. She felt that more acutely than ever as their group finished the final descent down the stony slopes of Highstones, the waning moon hanging above them, and Clan territory not far ahead of them.
We did it. Squirrelpaw thought, but she felt far more exhausted than excited. We’re home.
And, they were here one cat fewer than they’d left with.
Tawnypelt glanced towards the sky, judging the time.
“If we keep on through the night, we can be back at our camps before dawn,” she murmured, but her gaze was also dull with tiredness.
“Or, we rest for the night,” Brambleclaw said, drawing everyone’s attention. “We’re tired, and I don’t think any of us wants to burst into our camps in the middle of the night and interrupt our Clanmates’ sleep with our journey and what Midnight told us. I guess… maybe besides you, Tawnypelt, with ShadowClan’s sleep schedule.”
Squirrelpaw’s heart clenched as another realization hit her.
This will also be the last night we will spend together before we have to go back to our separate Clans.
“Yes,” Squirrelpaw spoke swiftly. “I think we should rest.”
“There’s probably no harm in waiting to tell our Clans in the morning,” Tawnypelt murmured. “Even for my Clan.”
Squirrelpaw glanced at Crowpaw, seeing if he would argue for continuing on through the night. WindClan territory was the closest from here, after all. But, he just nodded along with Stormfur in agreement. Judging by the fact that no one even suggested continuing on to Ravenpaw and Barley’s barn, Squirrelpaw figured that they also wanted to spend one more night together, just the six— five — of them. They must also not be ready to go their separate ways after so long together.
Nearly two and a half moons.
That’s how long their journey had taken them. They’d missed three Gatherings, and Squirrelpaw had spent about the same amount of time traveling with these cats as she’d spent as Dustpelt’s apprentice in ThunderClan.
A strange, bittersweet longing coiled in Squirrelpaw’s chest as she wordlessly followed Crowpaw to a nearby thorn bush for them to sleep under.
She had missed out on so much in ThunderClan. She’d be behind on a ton of training compared to her friends and denmates. By now, Whitepaw would have caught up to her, even though she was younger than Squirrelpaw by a couple moons.
Could Shrewpaw and Spiderpaw already have gotten their warrior names?
But, Squirrelpaw couldn’t find it in her to regret this journey, not for one instant. She might not have gotten the dream from StarClan, but she belonged on this journey just as much as any of the other cats here. And, she’d learned so much beyond the reaches of Clan territory, developing skills that no other ThunderClan warrior— besides Brambleclaw, of course— knew.
Like how to hunt eagles!
Overall, her hunting skills were probably in good shape. After spending so long hunting often strange prey in all sorts of environments, going back to catching mice, voles, squirrels, and birds in the forest she was so familiar with would be a breeze.
It was likely her fighting skills that had suffered the most. Not that she didn’t have the strength or determination to hold her own in a battle! But, she hadn’t had any formal training since she’d left. Any new techniques she’d gained on this quest had come from watching the others fight. By now, she probably attacked with a weird mix of ThunderClan, ShadowClan, WindClan, and RiverClan battle moves.
Well, even if I can’t fight that well, I’ll at least always be able to out-walk any cat I come across, Squirrelpaw thought, her whiskers twitching in faint amusement as she recalled the comment Tawnypelt had made to her some time ago, around when they’d found Midnight.
They ducked under the low hanging tendrils of the thorn bush and found a small cavity inside for the group to curl up in. Crowpaw had already crouched down, tucked his forepaws under his chest and delicately curled his tail around his side, but his brow furrowed as the rest of their group squeezed inside.
“I don’t think we’ll all fit,” he said.
“Good thing I like to cuddle!” Squirrelpaw chirped.
She plopped down next to Crowpaw, partially draped over him. Crowpaw hissed irritably in response, pulling away from her touch, but he couldn’t go far since Stormfur’s bulky grey form had already laid down by his other flank. Less than a moment later, Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt curled up on the other side of Stormfur, filling the remaining space and effectively locking Crowpaw in.
Squirrelpaw couldn’t help but purr at the sour expression on Crowpaw’s face as she pressed her ginger fur to his short, dark pelt.
“Come on, cuddling with us isn’t that bad, right?” she asked. “I promise, I don’t have fleas. And, at least it’s warm!”
The small area under the bush did work to quickly trap the heat radiating from the bodies of the cats, making it already much cozier inside than out.
Crowpaw just grumbled something incomprehensible in response to Squirrelpaw, lowering his chin down to the ground and closing his eyes. Soon the sounds of soft breaths echoed through the bush as the others fell asleep, but Squirrelpaw could feel the muscles under Crowpaw’s pelt remain tense against her side.
Squirrelpaw rolled her eyes to herself. Crowpaw had no reason to act so awkward about the physical contact when they’d spent nearly the whole journey sleeping in close proximity to each other. It had been admittedly utilitarian in the beginning— it was easier for them all to protect themselves from an attack if they slept in close quarters— but as their fondness for each other grew, Squirrelpaw began to enjoy the others’ company. They hadn’t been curled up flank-to-flank every night, but they’d at least been as close as den-mates. That was until Feathertail died… and Crowpaw had put himself in a self-imposed exile from the others, always curled up with his back to them and at least two tail-lengths of distance away.
Squirrelpaw had been respectful with giving him his space for a while— every cat grieved differently after all. But, now that they were so close to returning home and Crowpaw was still pulling away from them… Squirrelpaw was afraid of actually losing him. Stars, he may be one of the most aggravating cats in all the Clans, but he was still her friend. She couldn’t stand the idea of him never wanting to talk to them again once he returned to WindClan.
Squirrelpaw sighed at the thought.
“Can’t sleep?” Crowpaw grumbled, his voice so soft it only reached her ears and didn’t disturb the others.
“Yeah,” Squirrelpaw answered in an equally quiet voice.
“Why? You’re the one who wanted to rest,” Crowpaw hissed.
Squirrelpaw had gotten really good at not letting anything Crowpaw said bother her— even when he was actually angry at her and not just teasing. But, the coldness in his tone rubbed her the wrong way tonight. Especially since she was being kept awake because she was worried about the annoying furball!
“So? You were the one who agreed to it,” Squirrelpaw snapped.
Crowpaw was silent, and Squirrelpaw’s annoyance was replaced by a prickle of guilt. Had she upset him more? She angled her gaze towards his face, hoping to search his expression, but she could only see the back of his head and the edge of his cheek fur. Squirrelpaw silently scolded herself for letting her temper get the better of her.
“I asked to rest because I didn’t want us to go back to our Clans yet,” Squirrelpaw admitted in a softer voice. “You’re my friends. I’ll miss sleeping next to you all.”
One of Crowpaw’s ears rotated towards her.
“Really? I can’t wait to finally be back, alone, in my own nest,” Crowpaw growled.
Sudden hurt flared in Squirrelpaw’s chest, and her ears flattened against her head.
She couldn’t detect a hint of sarcasm in his mew. Did they really mean so little to Crowpaw?
“Fine. Sorry for caring,” Squirrelpaw hissed.
She whipped her muzzle away, rolling over to turn her back and wiggle away from him, at least as much as she could manage in the cramped space under the bush. Satisfied at no longer touching him, Squirrelpaw curled into a tight ball and miserably buried her nose in her tail.
Her ears pricked at the sound of a sigh behind her. Then there was a little bit of shuffling, and she suddenly felt Crowpaw’s pelt brushing hers again.
“Look. I’m sorry, Squirrelpaw.” His warm breath stirred the fur on the back of her head. “I didn’t really mean that. I’m just…”
Squirrelpaw twisted her head around to find Crowpaw’s face less than a whisker’s length from her own.
“You’re just what?” she prompted.
Crowpaw blinked at her. The depths of pain and grief pooling in his dark blue eyes almost took her breath away, but he remained silent. Squirrelpaw exhaled slowly.
“I know you’ve been hurting badly since Feathertail died.” Crowpaw winced as Squirrelpaw said her name like she’d raked her claws over his muzzle. “But, you’re not the only one who lost her. She was also our friend. We cared about her too, and we care about you. You don’t have to push us away.”
Crowpaw clenched his fangs together. Squirrelpaw could see the muscles in his jaw flexing like there were words in his mouth he desperately wanted to say, but couldn’t force out.
“...I just can’t stop thinking about if it could have been avoided,” Crowpaw rasped finally. “We should have just gone back through the twoleg-place the way we came. Do you remember how Midnight was the one to suggest going through the mountains? You don’t think she could have known, do you?”
“Does it matter?” a new, miserable voice muttered.
Squirrelpaw craned her neck to look behind Crowpaw’s head, seeing Stormfur crack open an orange eye. He cast Crowpaw and Squirrelpaw a long, sad look.
“Why would it matter if Midnight knew that Feathertail might die in the mountains? She probably also knows how you and I and the rest of us will die too,” Stormfur rasped.
Crowpaw’s lips curled up in a snarl. “But we never would have considered traveling through the mountains if it weren’t for Midnight. She’s the reason Feathertail died!”
Stormfur shook his head. “She’s not, Crowpaw. Midnight presented the option for us to go through the mountains, but we made the choice to do it. Then we made every other choice after that— up to Feathertail choosing to risk her life to kill Sharptooth.”
Crowpaw’s jaws opened again, fury on his face.
“I get that you want someone to blame,” Stormfur muttered, continuing before Crowpaw could speak. “I did too. Ever since her death, I think I’ve blamed everyone I could: Midnight, the old Stoneteller, Brook, Crag, or the rest of the Tribe… but mostly myself.”
“Oh, Stormfur,” Squirrelpaw whispered, her heart aching. “It wasn’t your fault. How could it be?”
“I was supposed to be the chosen silver cat,” Stormfur reminded her.
“There’s no ‘supposed to’ in prophecies, Stormfur,” Tawnypelt murmured.
Even though they’d tried to be quiet, Squirrelpaw figured that Brambleclaw must also be awake again by now too.
“They are vague and obtuse on purpose,” Tawnypelt continued. “If they weren’t, you and Squirrelpaw wouldn’t have gone on this journey. And, the old Stoneteller would have picked the one silver cat that would have killed Sharptooth the first time around. The lion would have been dead long before we got to the mountains.”
Stormfur sighed. “Yeah, I try to remember that. But, that’s sort of my point.” He focused on Crowpaw again. “It’s like a prophecy— there is no rationalizing this. Feathertail is gone, and it’s awful, and everything is worse now. But, it was no one’s fault. Well, no one’s beside Sharptooth, but she killed him.”
Squirrelpaw could feel Crowpaw’s body trembling against her. He still looked furious, and Squirrelpaw half-expected him to start yowling at Stormfur that he was wrong.
“...I wish I could kill him again,” Crowpaw rasped instead of screaming. “A thousand times over.”
“Me too.” Stormfur gave a heavy sigh.
“It’s hard,” Crowpaw continued haltingly, his voice cracking over the words. “Having nothing to do. No way to avenge her. Having nothing but—”
Crowpaw’s voice cut off again, but Stormfur nodded in understanding anyway.
“Nothing but the pain,” Stormfur said in a low tone. “Just having to sit with it.”
“But you don’t have to do it alone,” Squirrelpaw urged, her heart twisting in pity for her two friends. “We’re all here. We can help!”
Crowpaw stared down at the ground.
“There is nothing you can do to fix this, Squirrelpaw,” he growled, but this time, there wasn’t a trace of anger in his voice, only aching, hollow grief.
“But—” Squirrelpaw began to protest.
She fell silent as she suddenly felt a tail tap her own. Squirrelpaw’s gaze followed the tabby tail to the other side of the bush to see Brambleclaw shoot her a meaningful glance. Her Clanmate had given her that look more than enough times by now for her to know that he was trying to gently tell her to back off.
Squirrelpaw sighed.
“Well… okay. But, don’t forget we’re here for you, if you ever need us,” Squirrelpaw said.
“Thank you, Squirrelpaw,” Stormfur said softly, answering for both him and Crowpaw.
Squirrelpaw nodded, finally lowering her chin back down to her paws. She was grateful that Stormfur and Crowpaw had each other. Even though Crowpaw said that there was nothing she could do to help, Stormfur seemed to be able to get through to him. They, at least, seemed to understand each other’s grief.
“Let’s get some sleep,” Brambleclaw murmured once the lull had fallen over the conversation. “We will have a lot of work cut out for us tomorrow convincing our Clans and leaders about… well… everything. Goodnight, everyone.”
“Goodnight, Brambleclaw,” Squirrelpaw said softly.
The quiet sounds of sleep filled their little, makeshift den again quickly, but Squirrelpaw remained awake, staring up at the fragments of the starry sky she could see through the tangled web of thorns above her head.
Allegiances
RiverClan
Leader: Leopardstar— an unusually spotted, golden tabby she-cat
Deputy: Hawkfrost— a dark brown tabby tom with a white underbelly and ice-blue eyes
Apprentice: Reedpaw
Medicine cats: Mudfur— an elderly, spotted light brown tabby tom with long hair
Mothwing— a dappled golden tabby she-cat with amber eyes
Warriors: Reedtail— pale grey tabby tom (Mate: Skyheart)
Apprentice: Primrosepaw
Sedgecreek— a brown tabby she-cat
Blackclaw— a black tom
Apprentice: Volepaw
Skyheart— a pale brown tabby she-cat (Mate: Reedtail)
Shadepelt— a dark grey she-cat (Mate: Vixenleap)
Heavystep— a brown tabby tom
Mallowtail— a tortoiseshell-tabby she-cat with white
Apprentice: Stonepaw
Stormfur— a dark silvery-grey tom with amber eyes
Swallowtail— a dark brown tabby she-cat
Apprentice: Splashpaw
Apprentices: Reedpaw— a black tom
Primrosepaw— a pale creamy-brown she-cat with white paws
Volepaw—brown tabby tom
Stonepaw— a grey tom
Splashpaw— a pale brown she-cat
Queens: Grasswhisker— a brown tabby she-cat (Kits: Beechkit— a light brown tom, Ripplekit— a dark grey tabby tom, Foster kit: Willowkit— a pale grey tabby she-cat)
Dawnflower— a pale grey she-cat (Kits: Minnowkit— a dappled dark grey and white she-cat, Pebblekit— a mottled grey tom, Tumblekit— a black she-cat)
Elders: Loudbelly— a dark brown tom (retired early due to health issues)
Beetlenose— a solid black tom
ThunderClan
Leader: Firestar— a ginger tom with a flame colored pelt and bright green eyes (Mate: Sandstorm)
Deputy: Greystripe— a long-haired grey tom
Medicine cat: Cinderpelt— a dark grey she-cat
Warriors: Mousefur—a small, dusky brown she-cat
Apprentice: Spiderpaw
Dustpelt— a brown tabby tom (Mate: Ferncloud)
Apprentice: Squirrelpaw
Sandstorm— a pale ginger she-cat with leaf-green eyes (Mate: Firestar)
Brackenfur— a golden-brown tabby tom
Apprentice: Whitepaw
Thornclaw— a golden-brown tabby tom
Apprentice: Shrewpaw
Brambleclaw— a dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes
Ashfur— a grey tom with darker flecks and blue eyes
Rainwhisker— a dark grey tom
Sootfur— a grey tom
Sorreltail—a tortoiseshell and white she-cat
Apprentices: Spiderpaw— a black and brown tom
Shrewpaw— a brown tom
Squirrelpaw— a dark ginger she-cat with one white paw, a bushy tail and green eyes
Whitepaw— a solid white she-cat with green eyes
Queens: Goldenflower— a golden she-cat (Permanent queen)
Ferncloud— a light grey she-cat with darker flecks and green eyes (Mate: Dustpelt. Kits: Birchkit— a light brown tabby tom, Hollykit— brown tabby she-cat, Larchkit—brown tabby she-cat.)
Elders: Frostfur— a solid white she-cat with blue eyes
Speckletail— a golden she-cat
Longtail— a tabby tom with an unusually long tail (retired early due to eye injury)
WindClan
Leader: Tallstar— a tall, elderly black-and-white tom with an unusually long tail
Deputy: Mudclaw— a mottled dark brown tom
Apprentice: Crowpaw
Medicine cat: Barkface— an elderly brown tom with a short tail
Warriors: Rushtail— a light creamy-brown tom (Mate: Runningbrook)
Runningbrook— a light grey, tabby she-cat (Mate: Rushtail)
Cloudrunner— a pale grey tom (Mate: Morningflower)
Wrenflight— a brown she-cat
Ashfoot— a grey she-cat with blue eyes
Apprentice: Owlpaw
Onewhisker— a brown tabby tom
Tornear— a grey tabby tom (Mate: Sorrelshine)
Webfoot— a dark grey tabby tom
Apprentice: Weaselpaw
Robinwing— a light brown she-cat with blue eyes
Apprentice: Thistlepaw
Nightcloud— a black she-cat with amber eyes
Apprentices: Crowpaw— a dark smoky grey, almost black, tom with deep blue eyes
Owlpaw— a light brown tabby tom
Weaselpaw— a ginger tabby tom with white paws
Thistlepaw— a solid grey she-cat
Queens: Morningflower— a tortoiseshell she-cat (Mate: Cloudrunner. Kit: Gorsekit— a pale grey and white she-cat, Antkit— a brown and black tom)
Sorrelshine— a grey and brown she-cat (Mate: Tornear. Expecting kits)
Elders: Darkfoot— a dark blue-grey tom
ShadowClan
Leader: Blackstar— a large white tom with huge jet-black paws
Deputy: Russetfur— a dark ginger she-cat
Medicine cat: Littlecloud— a small tabby tom
Warriors: Wetfoot— a grey tabby tom
Oakfur— a light brown tom with green eyes
Apprentice: Smokepaw
Cedarheart— a dark grey tom with yellow eyes
Nightwing– a black she-cat
Dawncloud— a pale ginger she-cat
Kinkfur— a grey tabby she-cat with bushy fur
Snowbird— a white she-cat with green eyes
Ratscar— a dark brown tom with many scars
Tawnypelt— a tawny and brown tabby tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes
Snaketail— a dark brown tabby tom
Apprentice: Scorchpaw
Whitewater— a white she-cat with one sighted eye
Apprentices: Smokepaw— a grey tom
Scorchpaw— a dark grey tom
Queens: Tallpoppy— a long-legged light brown she-cat (Kits: Applekit— a mottled brown she-cat, Toadkit— a dark brown tom, Marshkit— a brown and white tom)
Elders: Runningnose— a grey and white tom
Boulder— a solid grey tom
Missing Clan Cats
ThunderClan:
Leafpaw— a brown tabby she-cat with white paws, a white belly and amber eyes
Cloudtail— a fluffy, solid white tom with blue eyes (Mate: Brightheart)
Brightheart— a ginger and white she-cat with one blue eye (Mate: Cloudtail)
RiverClan:
Mistyfoot— a blue-grey she-cat with blue eyes
Vixenleap— a black she-cat (Mate: Shadepelt)
Mosspelt— a tortoiseshell and white she-cat
ShadowClan:
Talonpaw— a pale grey tom
Rowanclaw— a dark ginger tabby tom with amber eyes
WindClan:
Whitetail— a small white she-cat
The Tribe of Rushing Water
Seer: Teller of Pointed Stones (Stoneteller)— a silvery grey she-cat with hazel eyes (Former Cave Guard)
Healers: Star that Shines on Water (Star)— a pure white she-cat (Head Healer)
Moss that Grows by River (Moss)— a brown tabby she-cat
Thorn that Grows in Cleft (Thorn)— a golden-brown tabby tom
Prey Hunters: Brook Where Small Fish Swim (Brook)— a light brown tabby she-cat with grey eyes
Flight of Startled Heron (Flight)— a brown tabby she-cat
Grey Sky Before Dawn (Grey)— a silver tabby tom with a stumpy tail
Rock Beneath Still Water (Rock)— a black tom
Wing Shadow Over Water (Wing)— a black and white she-cat
Cave Guards: Night of No Stars (Night)— a striking solid black she-cat with green eyes (Head Cave Guard)
Scree Beneath Winter Sky (Scree)— a dark brown tabby tom
Jagged Rock Where Heron Sits (Jag)— a dark grey tom with a scarred flank
Bird That Rides the Wind (Bird)— a pale brown she-cat
Sheer Path Beside Waterfall (Sheer)— a dark brown tabby tom
To-bes:
Crest of Snowy Mountain (Crest)— a grey and white she-cat
Storm Clouds at Dusk (Storm)— a solid grey tom
Moon Shining on Water (Moon)— a black and white she-cat
Snow Falling on Stones (Snow)— a white she-cat
Kit-Mothers:
Swoop of Chestnut Hawk (Swoop)— a dark auburn and brown tortoiseshell she-cat (Head Prey Hunter)
Elders:
Cloud with Storm in Belly— a white she-cat with a few dark tabby markings (retired Cave Guard)
Rain that Rattles on Stones— a speckled brown tom with a missing eye and a white muzzle (retired Prey Hunter)
Unaligned Creatures
Midnight— a mysterious badger
Sasha— a creamy white she-cat with deep brown points on her face, paws and tail
Cody— a brown tabby she-cat
Ravenpaw– a black tom with a few small white markings (Mate: Barley)
Barley– a burly black and white tom (Mate: Ravenpaw)