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“ODASAKU!”
That had been the day everything changed.
That day will never leave his mind.
That day, he has been cursed with more guilt than the hundred thirty eight people whom he has killed.
‘He’s gone. He isn’t coming back. I can’t do anything about it. Why did I mess-‘
“Sir, this is the apartment you are permitted to stay in.” A man in a black suit and sunglasses provided. That snapped the brunette out of his thoughts.
Thank god.
“Well thank you, such a wonderful gentleman! Just call me Dazai, hope to see you again sooo-…” Dazai started
“You do know the details of this, right?” The guard asked, keeping a professional manner
“Yes yes, I’m aware. I pay you guys back and get my own place once my crimes have vanished or whatever.” The ex-mafioso replied, in an unamused tone.
“We are keeping you in our living accommodation because Chief Taneda has taken an interest in you. Once your crimes have been taken off your profile and you can gain access to your bank account that include the money you have made in the Port Mafia-“ Dazai internally grimaced “- you will pay us back everything you have gotten while you live here for the next two years.” The guard explained, seemingly annoyed with Dazai’s existence in general
“Yeah I’ve been told-“
“Plus interest.”
“‘Kay, Is there anything else I should know or are you gonna keep scolding me the whole time! I really am fascinated by how you stay in a workplace with so many rul-“
The grunt cut Dazai off yet again
“Someone has volunteered to help take care of you while you stay.”
Oh. Dazai wasn’t in the mafia anymore but that didn’t mean he lost all his skills. He could deduct easily who that was and who the guard meant.
“Tell him I don’t need a babysitter! Have a nice day!” Before the guard could speak, Dazai slammed the door and locked it.
— — — <3 — — —
Dazai wouldn’t be here based on sheer luck. He manipulated the chief of the Special Division for Unusual Powers into letting him stay here. It would be difficult to get into his mafia bank account before his crimes were erased without the mafia or police getting on his tail.
So he took the easiest route.
He was on the executive salary in the Port Mafia for two years. That line of work was good pay. Dazai offered to pay back Chief Taneda for everything the Special Division and an extra one hundred grand just for kicks. That was more than enough of an offer and they even supplied Dazai with protection if people did come looking.
Dazai just had to wait another two years of living a rather lonely life till he could start fulfilling his, Odasaku’s, wish.
The house he got was nice, more of an apartment but Dazai didn’t care much. It was honestly really nice- at least compared to his shipping container.
There was a living room, it had a coffee table and a TV. There was a kitchen, completely empty. Not like Dazai would cook anyway. A bathroom with a really nice tub. Dazai would like that. And of course, the bedroom. Most of Dazai’s time would be spent here. There was a queen size bed in the middle with nightstands on either side.
Dazai wasn’t going to go moping around, but it wasn’t like he was happy and joyful about life right now. The mafia was his home, if there was someplace he could even remotely fit into, it was the Mafia.
Dazai didn’t have to get started in life for another two years. He just had to keep himself alive to fulfill Oda’s promise. Otherwise, he could bed-rot and spend all the time he needed mourning Oda.
— — — <3 — — —
One month. One month without the man who knew him best.
Dazai glared at the clock in his bedroom.
“Dazai wasn’t going to go moping around” That was a lie, that was what Dazai did best so it shouldn’t be that strange.
Alcohol was everywhere, Dazai really hadn’t left his room much unless he went to a bar to buy more alcohol. He was sure that there were bugs crawling around his room. Dazai was in a black T-Shirt and plain black shorts. Bandages wrapped around Dazai’s neck, fore-arms and his lower thighs.
Sleep didn’t come easy to Dazai, it never did. Just closing his eyes showed glimpses of him. The blood on his hands that he had taken an embarrassing amount of time to get off. Not because it was hard, he just couldn’t.
His eyes were half-lidded, barely doing anything. He hadn’t taken a shower or bath since he got here, clothes all over the floor.
Luckily for Dazai, no one had come to visit. Someone had been supplying his groceries every Saturday night while he was at a bar or what not. Dazai had been told the person who'd been acting as some sort of safety measure to ensure he stays alive had been coming over to bring groceries that Dazai never ate. Dazai had a good idea on who it was.
Knock, knock.
Dazai didn’t bother getting up to answer, he knew well the person who would be coming over would have a key.
The door opened, the door closed.
Dazai said to the person registering when he left the house he would be going out tonight. He just wanted to confirm a hunch.
Footsteps, bags were placed on the counter.
“This place really is a mess.. Maybe one of these weekends I should clean the place up when I have extra time” Dazai’s hunch was correct. The man who had been buying him groceries was indeed, Ango Sakaguchi
Dazai wasn’t going to skip out on a chance to piss someone off. It was one of the things he did best after all. “After you’re done with work, huh? I suppose you have a lot of work to do after betraying the Port Mafia. And you know, getting Odasaku killed.” Dazai murmured, after spending so much time in bed he had to admit his legs weren’t at their best. He leaned against the wall, feeling the cold floor press against his feet. Much different from the warm bed he just laid in
Ango’s shoulders tensed, putting the last bag on the counter. His back was facing Dazai. “So you decided to not go out tonight.” Ango whispered, more like an observation than anything.
“And you didn’t take off your shoes, how impolite.” Dazai retorted with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Apologies. I normally don’t stay here long.” Ango replied, pushing up his glasses before turning around. Refraining from grimacing at the sight of Dazai and the state he was in. Ango silently observed every part of Dazai's room. The mess was not surprising. In his experience, most people who were depressed didn't feel much motivation to do chores, let alone get out of bed.
What caught his eye was Dazai himself. The bandages on the limbs that he always wore did not do much to hide the scars that marked his forearms, and the dark circles and slightly sunken eyes made him look more like a living corpse than a young man.
“Get out, I don’t need traitors like you in my house.” Dazai blurted out, interrupting the uncomfortable silence that Ango had spent inspecting Dazai’s appearance.
Ango decided not to comment on Dazai’s appearance.
Dazai looked more angry than Ango had ever seen. Sure, Dazai was a port mafia executive who was ruthless. But he knew that Dazai didn’t get angry easily, Dazai stayed calm in the face of a fire and didn’t bother yelling. Dazai was calm, he knew how to keep his composure, not once had Ango seen Dazai lose control of his emotions.
Ango would normally lecture Dazai for such a mess. But he knew that dealing with a loss of a friend was hard. He didn’t have the time to mourn for Oda, but he would do everything in his power to make sure Dazai could. Ango was guilty, although he knew Oda’s death wasn’t exactly his fault..
He had been in effect of it, if none of that happened, then Dazai wouldn’t be in the state he was right now.
Ango just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Dazai didn’t seem to want to put any more energy into the conversation, going back to his room and shutting the door behind him. Ango wouldn’t bother Dazai.
He finished putting away the groceries that he had bought, only one can of crab had been eaten since he came last week. Ango tried to reassure himself that Dazai was eating.. With that information in mind he walked to the door. Glancing at Dazai’s closed bedroom door before leaving. Exiting the apartment.
Maybe someone else, a more smart man, would tell Ango to stop coddling Dazai. But, guilt could do so much to a man.