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I Don't Want The World (But I'll Take This City!)

Summary:

Mr. Xavier had gathered some of the top students of the school he taught at into one homeroom. I mean, they practically have the same schedule between all their classes anyways. This decisions proves to have consequences, some good some bad and some downright hilarious.

 

This fic is so goofy

 

Inspired by Xavier's Poli Sci!

Notes:

Work Title from HOT TO GO by Chappel Roan
Enjoy from gay idiots!!!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I Wanna Taste Love And Pain

Notes:

Title from Coulda Have Been Me by The Strokes

Chapter Text

Homeroom Group Chat

Jean Grey added ___ numbers to the chat

(Friday 7:04 PM)

Jean Grey: Hey guys, we’re all in Mr.Xaviers gifted homeroom or whatever. Basically Nerd club! Thanks to Scott and Jubilee for everyone’s numbers! Also Mr.Xavier gave me a number for an exchange student when he saw what I was doing so… hi mystery man!

Peter: Wassup! Peter Maximoff here, I do not deserve to be in this homeroom.

(Wanda changed Peter’s name to ‘WorldsFastestBurnout’)

WorldsFastestBurnout: Wow sis, so kind.

(WorldsFastestBurnout changed Wanda’s name to ‘ScaryWoman’) 

ScaryWoman: So original.

Scott: Flashbacks to my brother.

(Warren changed Bobby’s name to ‘IceIceBobby’)

IceIceBobby: Aw I love!

(IceIceBobby changed Warren’s name to ‘Nepobaby’)

Nepobaby: You do me so dirty,so often.

IceIceBobby: If that's how you like it-

Jubilee: WHATTT

Anna-Marie: Oh my-

Scott: Jail, now. Why are we friends? Blocked.

(Logan changed Scott’s name to ‘Boyscout’)

Boyscout: I dont even know you??????

Logan: I’m a quick judge of character.

Hank: Oh my stars and garter

Logan: What kinda old ass saying is that?

Jubilee: Be nice Logan!

(Logan changed Jubilee’s name to ‘Starburst’)

(Starburst changed Logan’s name to ‘LogiBear’)

LogiBear: Traitorous behavior.

Jean Grey: That’s adorable!!!

(Ororo changes Jean Grey’s name to ‘Jean-ius’)

(Jean-ius changed Ororo’s name to ‘Poworoful’)

Remy: Ignoring all of that, we are getting a foreign student?

Anna-Marie: Mmhm!

Remy: I won’t be the only one who doesn’t know english!

WorldsFastestBurnout: DW bro, I got a D in ELA last year.

Starburst: Can confirm, that man asked me how to spell Lemon.

(Anna-Marie changed Remy’s name to MonAmi)

Nepobaby: OUI OUI MON AMI JE M'APPELLE LAFAYETTE

ScaryWoman: Stop.

(MonAmi changed Anna-Marie’s name to SouthernBelle)

Hank: Well it’s very good to meet you all. 

Boyscout: You know most of us Hank, we’ve been in the same accelerated courses together since middle school.

(Starburst changed Hank’s name to ‘AcademicBeast’)

Starburst: Petition to study together because I know we’re all in AP classes?

Logibear: Signed 

AcademicBest: Signed

Poworoful: signed. 

WorldsFastestBurout: Gang is this the year I pass? 

ScaryWoman: Almost certainly not.

Jean-ius: Doesn’t mean we can’t be optimistic??

Starburst: Junior year is gonna be a Breeze guys, dont sweat it!

Boyscout: Hate to be the bearer of bad news, this might literally be the hardest year of base level education.

MonAmi: …

Nepobaby: We’re so cooked.

SouthernBelle: Thoughts and prayers.

Jean-ius: Has anyone started the reading for Mr.Lensher’s class?

IceIceBobby: WE HAVE READING???

AcademicBeast: Yes you can call me to go over it.

Nepobaby: Hank our beloved.

Boyscout: Let’s go Hank!

ScaryWoman: This is gonna be an interesting year.

(2:30 am)

Kurt: Wow- so enthusiastic. I’m still in Germany though so thanks for the 1am text bomb.

WorldsFastestBurnout: Ur welcome.

(WorldsFastestBurnout changed Kurt’s name to ‘SooEepy’) 

SooEepy: GO TO SLEEP!??!?

 

Siblings + 1 Ocean
(Anna-Marie and Kurt Wagner)
(7:00 am) 

TouchAndGo: Guten Morgen!

TheBlues: Guten Morgen!!!!!!!

TouchAndGo: We’re finally gonna be reunited!!!

TheBlues: Ja!!!! I miss you sister

TouchAndGo: I miss you too. Who is hosting you do you know? I know it cant be us cuz Mom is still trying to ignore your existence :[

TheBlues: Somebody named Erik Lensher??? Since he’s German they thought we’d be a good fit. But he’s also Jewish and i'm Catholic so??? But yeah, :[

TouchAndGo: THE ERIK LENSHER??? THE TERRIFYING AP WORLD HISTORY TEACHER ERIK LENSHER???

TouchAndGo: AVID DESTROYER OF PROPAGANDA AND STUPID ASS KIDS ERIK LENSHER???

TheBlues: Oh no-

TouchAndGo: No no no don’t worry! He has two kids. Well- three kids but the other one lives somewhere else cuz custody stuff.

TheBlues: So us core!

TouchAndGo: Real! But uh, Peter is a total dork and I don’t know how he hasn’t dropped out yet. And Wanda is *Terrifying*

TheBlues: Wait- Peter the kid that was up at 2 in the morning?

TouchAndGo: Uh huh! The Maximoff twins.

TheBlues: Cool cool, looking forward to meeting them after this plane ride.

TouchAndGo: I need to become friends with them ASAP so we can hangout more. Peter and Jubilee are friends. I think I’ll go through with her.

TheBlues: Woman with a plan! 😙

TouchAndGo: You know me Sugah! When are you gonna get here?

TheBlues: I leave at 2pm my time, so I’ll be there 5pm your time!

TouchAndGo: That time change is gonna be brutal.

TheBlues: Ja, send prayers. I’m going through the Flughafen now. 

TouchAndGo: 🙏

The Boys 💪

(Hank McCoy, Scott Summers, Bobby Drake, Warren Worthing III) 

(12:32 pm)
HankyPanky: How we feeling Scott?

ScottyBoy: Jean has my number!! Sure she asked cuz of the nerd group chat.

ScottyBoy: But still!! 

BobbyBby: W!!!!!

WarWar: Absolutely a win! The girl you’ve been pining after since freshman year knows you exist!!!

ScottyBoy: Be nice.

HankyPanky: None of us can be worse then Logan was yesterday.

BobbyBby: FOR REAL!?!? What was up with that? 

WarWar: I was laughing my ass off

ScottyBoy: I feel so loved.
BobbyBby: <3

HankyPanky: <3

WarWar: <3

ScottyBoy: ANY WAYS, How we feel about Coffee stop at Coffee-and-Go-Go Tmrw at like 2pm?

HankyPanky: I'm down.

WarWar: I cant 😭I have a shift at Hellfire Club Sandwiches.

BobbyBby: Rich BitchTM being the only one with a job: 

WarWar: I will pay you so much trust fund baby money to kindly STFU

BobbyBby: I can come to Coffee!

ScottyBoy: Sounds good!

WarWar: Thats what I thought. 

 

SparkNotes
(Peter Maximoff and Jubilation Lee) 

(12:45 pm)
Sparky: HEYYYYYY

SpeedNotes: Wassup Jubs!

Sparky: Ok so like, my friend Rouge, well we all call her Rouge but her names Anna-Marie. ANYWAYS!! You will never guess who she’s related to!

SpeedNotes: George Washington?

Sparky: Bruh

Sparky: No, she’s the adoptive sister of the international student your dad is hosting???

SpeedNotes: Oh shit, right we’re doing that. 

Sparky: I need you to be a functioning person for like 5 minutes so I can reveal my amazing plans. Lock the fuck in.

SpeedNotes: Aye Aye 🫡

Sparky: OK SO. What if. Tmrw at like- 2pm ish? You and Wanda scoop him up and meet me, Logan, Rouge and her scary french boyfriend for a late lunch at Hellfire Club Sandwiches?

SpeedNotes: I am so down, lemme go ask Wanda.

Sparky: Okidoke!

 

Familie 

(Erik Lensher, Wanda Maximoff, Peter Maximoff, Lorna Dane)

TwinP: Wanda (and Father), can we take Kurt to Hellfire Club Sandwiches tmrw? Sandwich for a not-sand witch?

TwinW: Why? 

BonusChild: Terrible joke.

TwinP: Jubs asking. Something about his adopted sister or something?

Father: Yes, he is Raven’s biological son and that would be Raven’s adopted daughter. I think you should go.

TwinW: Fine, I’ll drive but I refuse to pay.

TwinP: Thank you, my much cooler and more interesting twin.

BonusChild: I’m so glad I’m in this chat, I am so included.

Father: Twins, can you please make sure the room for Kurt is ready?

BonusChild: Make it look better than when I was visiting.

TwinP: Rude

TwinW: Already cleaned and set up his room.

Father: Child of the week award, Wanda.

TwinP: DAD!?

BonusChild: This Family…. SMH

 

Sparknotes
(12:58) 

SpeedNotes: Wanda says yes but she’s not paying. And my dad approves of this plan.

Sparky: Let’s go!!!!!!

SpeedNotes: Mmhm! We pick this Kurt guy up in a few hours so Erik is making us clean the whole ass house.

Sparky: Yuckkkkk

SpeedNotes: Have fun convincing Logan to do something social, I’m gonna run cuz Wanda is about to hit me with a broom 

Sparky: LMAO run

(1:07 pm)

SpeedNotes: He didn’t run fast enough.

Sparky: Hey Wanda!!!

 

Soul Sisters

(Ororo Munroe and Jean Grey)

(1:15 pm)

Jeanuinely: the project to get everyone’s numbers was a success!

ReadyOroroNot: Work!

ReadyOroroNot: We love your Godfather for putting a bunch of nerds together in a room for the 45 minute homeroom.

Jeanuinely: yesss. And it is now time for Operation…?

ReadyOroroNot: Get with one of the cute boys in Jean’s freshman year biology.

Jeanuinely: Mmhm! And lucky, lucky us. All of us have a near identical schedule cuz of all our nerd classes.

ReadyOroroNot: You got this, I believe in you.

Jeanuinely: Thanks! Your my best friend <3

ReadyOroroNot: I’m always here for you <3

Jeanuinely: Anyways, Coffee tmrw?

ReadyOroroNot: Sure! I’ll pick you up if you want.

Jeanuinely: Great! 

Jeanuinely: Our usual time?

ReadyOroroNot: It’s a date!

 

Double Trouble

(Jubilation Lee and Logan Howlett)

(1:08 pm)

BoosterJuice: Heyyyy Logan!!

Logibear: Hi Firecracker.

LogiBear: When did you change my name back to this again

LogiBear: what do you want? 

BoosterJuice: You love me like a little sister right?

LogiBear: You are like a 5 year old to me yes.

BoosterJuice: Hush, you’re just mad I’m advanced a grade and you got help back.

LogiBear: Yes I love you like a sister Jubi, what’s up?

BoosterJuice: So you would, theoretically, go get a late lunch with me tmrw?

LogiBear: You need a ride dont you.

BoosterJuice: Plz

LogiBear: Ok fine, on the condition that I am not expected to be overly nice and smiley.

BoosterJuice: Totes!!!!! No fake Logan, 100% real logan times.

BoosterJuice: Also i love motorcycle rides with you <3

LogiBear: Alright then, but I ain’t paying.

BoosterJuice: Okidoke, your the best not older brother ever!

LogiBear: I care about ya Jubes. Happy to give you a ride whenever. Though I think I might just drop you off, say hello and then go get coffee. I don’t rly like Hellfire.

BoosterJuice: Okkkkk, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

LogiBear: :)  

BoosterJuice:  :] :] :] 

LogiBear: Was I too rude yesterday?

BoosterJuice: Nahh, that was Classic Logan

BoosterJuice: All in good fun I promise.

LogiBear: Ok, good.

LogiBear: Scott is funny, we’ve been barely acquaintances for so long. But taking snipes at him is easy.

BoosterJuice: Well good for you. Y’all should be friends!!

LogiBear: Nah, too straight laced. I bet that man has never touched a controlled substance in his life.

BoosterJuice: This is true. 

BoosterJuice: Still, you should try and hang around with him!!!! You need more friends <3

LogiBear: I have you- and Morph.

BoosterJuice: Morph isn’t in a single one of ur classes.

LogiBear: Still friends, even if he’s a little stupid.

BoosterJuice: Ok but hear me out.

BoosterJuice: more logan friends =more hangouts = happy Jubilee!

LogiBear: Happy Jubes is a good Jubes

BoosterJuice: Exactly!!! 

LogiBear: This information will be considered.

LogiBear: Now can you help me with Miss MacTaggert’s confusing Pre-Calc worksheet?

BoosterJuice: Ofc <3

LogiBear: Life Saver 

BoosterJuice: You know me >:P 


No Shits Given

(Ororo Munroe and Logan Howlett)

(3:21 pm) 

Ororo: Hey Logan.

Logan: Hey Ro’ what’s up?

Ororo: Are you doing anything sunday?

Logan: I'm giving Jubilee a ride to a sandwich shop to meet some people. Might swing for coffee afterwards. 

Ororo: Cool, cool. Me and Jean are going to the coffee shop, it’d be cool of you to stop by. I know the two of you don’t know eachother but you’d get along.

Logan: Cool. On a date or?

Ororo: You know Jean doesn’t think of me like that logan.

Logan: You should really talk to her.

Ororo: There is no need for that.

Logan: If you say so Ro’. But I will swing by to say hello and get some good ‘ol fashioned black coffee

Ororo: It truly is a miracle how you function Logan.

Logan: Thank you.

Logan: Canadians are as strong breed of people.

Ororo: Sure.

Logan: Slander?

Ororo: Absolutely.

Logan: I expect no less from the great Ororo Munroe

Ororo: Too kind Logan, too kind.

Logan: Really though, I dont do any of that romance bullshit but you gotta say something eventually. 

Ororo: Maybe one day, when she’s not being boy obsessed.

Logan: Understandable. Good thing a lot of our classes together so I’ll get plenty of chances to tease ya

Ororo: So mean.

Logan: You know it, bub

Ororo: 🙄

 

Twins and Co. 

(Peter Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Lorna Dane) 

(6:02 pm)

RealityWarper: Lorna we are tacking Kurt into this chat cuz he’s like, a bonus bonus child for a bit.

Polarized: Okidoke

(CantCatchMe added Kurt Wagner to the chat) 

Kurt: Hallo! 👋 Thank you very much for having me.

RealityWarper: He's more German than dad. Got a total accent and everything, and his w’s sound like v’s. 

Polarized: Omg no way? 

CantCatchMe: He's a funny man. You’d like him. Way more polite then anyone ever, Including Mr.Xavier.

Kurt: You speak very kindly of me.

RealityWarper: We speak truth is all

(CantCatchMe changed Kurt’s name to ‘NocturnalGentleman’) 

Polarized: Gentleman???

CantCatchMe: Truth

NocturnalGentleman: What makes me nocturnal?

RealityWarper: You have strangely bright eyes, like nocturnal animals, you’re used to a sleep schedule that will make you semi nocturnal for a bit, and who knows what Peter is ever thinking.

NocturnalGentleman: Oh, question. Peter, why does Erik call you Pietro instead of Peter? 

CantCatchMe: Cuz thats technically my name or whatever. At least it’s what he named me. But he wasn’t really a part of our life for the first 10-ish years so I went by what our mom calls me. Which is Peter. Fits better, if ya ask me. Y’know.

NocturnalGentleman: That makes sense, I also think Peter suits you better. For the record. 

CantCatchMe: 😁

Polarized: It’s a pleasure to meet you btw Kurt. Im Lorna, bonus kid.

NocturnalGentleman: Oh! I am unwanted too!

CantCatchMe: BAHAHAHA

Polarized: …wow

RealityWarper: Not exactly what we meant Kurt- but very funny.

CantCatchMe: We want you Lorna!! Best lil sister eva!

RealityWarper: I like you more then peter <3

NocturnalGentleman: You seem very sweet!

Polarized: Awwww ty ty ty

NocturnalGentleman: 💟

Polarized: He is indeed, a sweetheart.

CantCatchMe: I told you!!!!!!! He is a sweetie! 

RealityWarper: Can confirm

NocturnalGentleman: You are too kind. I simply am already enjoying my time with you guys, in the States no less! You are all so lieblich!

Polarized: Translation?

RealityWarper: Lovely I think. Thank you Kurt.

CantCatchMe: You are also lovely. 💗

NocturnalGentleman: 🫶

Polarized: Glad we all get along! Please dont tell our father all of our dastardly ways in German so we can’t stop you.

NocturnalGentleman: That thought hadn’t occurred until now.

RealityWarper: WHY would you plant such ideas!

CantCatchMe: Throwing virtual pillows at you Lorna 😡

Polarized: OUCHIE!

 

Sweeter then Sugah’ 

(Anna-Marie and Remy LeBeau) 

(7:03 pm) 

Amour: Heyy Sugah!

HoneyPie: Hey <3

Amour: You excited to meet Kurt right? 

HoneyPie: Of course I am

Amour: You think he still likes me? It’s been so long afterall!

HoneyPie: It’ll be just fine. The two of ya text right? Gambit gonna be here for ya Rouge. No matter what

Amour: Thanks Sugah. You know how I get!

HoneyPie: I know chère

Amour: I love ya!

HoneyPie: I love you too

HoneyPie: No matter what

HoneyPie: I swear on my life

Amour: <3 <3 <3

HoneyPie: :}

 

Gossip Girls

(Wanda Maximoff and Jean Grey) 

(8:26 pm) 

ItGirl: Wanda, I know you know that there are things happening in groups of people we are both interested in in two places tomorrow afternoon.

QueenBee: Indeed I do. Do you have a proposal?

ItGirl: We share what we learn from our encounters with each other.

QueenBee: Alright, what’s in it for me? I can get Logan to tell me about coffee easily. 

ItGirl: Because my godfather will listen to me when I talk to him about how he should split up the next AP Lang group projects. And I know you’d love to stir the pot with that.

QueenBee: Very well Grey. We shall debrief tomorrow. Tell no one

QueenBee: That includes your bitchass sister

ItGirl: It’s a deal

ItGirl: Signed and Sealed

QueenBee: XOXO 

 

Real House Twinks
(Bobby Drake and Warren Worthington III) 

(11:43 pm)

Let-It-Go: Omg the tea tmrw has in store

HeWasAFairy: FR!!!!

Let-It-Go: You gotta keep me updated

HeWasAFairy: Obviously. You have to let me know if Scott and Logan have anymore unprecedented beef.

Let-It-Go: For sure for sure. 

HeWasAFairy: You should also bring me a frappacino

Let-It-Go: Make me a free sandwich and we can meet at my house.

HeWasAFairy: Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!