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Nothing made him happy, not a singular thing. Not music, not even drugs. But Graf was doing what he always had to do. He walked down to the liquor store with the few dollars that he still had left over from the gig that he played the night before, and bought the cheapest vodka on the shelf. He didn’t even really want to, it was just something that his body craved.
The cashier was someone that looked familiar. She looked worn down with sunken cheeks and tired eyes, her mascara indicated that she was crying not too long ago. He didn’t know why, he didn’t want to or care to. He couldn’t place where he’d seen her, maybe he was seeing his own reflection. But she didn’t act too kind either, she was passive and almost snarky, worsening his already horrible headspace.
He walked back home, he’d just bought the house from his recently deceased mother and he was staying in his old childhood room. Sometimes, he couldn’t even bare to look at it. Most nights he would just sleep on the couch, but Kim was lying there already asleep. His arms were wrapped around one of David’s old teddy bears that he had as a kid, he was fast asleep and he didn’t even want to lie down next to him, it would probably wake him up and he knew how hard it was for him to fall asleep in the first place.
He put his drink down on the floor, he just stood there to look at Kim for a few moments. His breathing was shallow and he made little whimpers as he was sleeping. Graf wondered what he was dreaming about, he was dreaming about him.
He gave a little smile before he left for the couch again. He closed the door softly but not all of the way.
He left his alcohol in his room, he didn’t even think to do so. Seeing Kim sleeping so calmly made him feel some kind of calmness in his life, a break from the constant misery.