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After the Conservatory Ball Anthony has a plan.
His head tells him to court the Diamond. To get a ring on Edwina Sharma's finger and resolve this issue of marriage once and for all. His head tells him that the elder Miss Sharma is spiky and overprotective, but he can get around that. He's Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton, after all. His head tells him that he always gets what he wants.
Some other part of him counters that argument. Is it is heart? He's not sure. He hasn't listened to that particular troublesome organ in some time. But if he did, it would tell him that actually he doesn't always get what he wants. He wanted his father to live a long life. He wanted his mother to help him through his grief. He wanted his siblings to know how he would lay down his life for any single one of them. He wanted them not to despise him. He wanted to take back all the terrible mistakes he had made. He wanted to be enough. He wanted to be better. He wanted someone to look at him and see the frightened boy behind the stern visage. He wanted. He wanted.
If he listened. To what he wanted deep down. He would apologise for the remarks the elder Miss Sharma had overheard. He would tell he that the few moments he spent with her in the park were the most alive he's felt in the longest time. He would tell her that somehow being scolded by her intrigued him. He would tell her that she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
But that is of no import.
He has a plan.
He sees his mother and sister home and he hopes that he might snatch a few hours of sleep tonight.
*****
But when he enters his bedchamber someone is waiting for him.
Someone he's wished to see everyday for the past eleven years. Benedict's eyes and Eloise's smile and Colin's nose and love and kindness and wisdom and strength.
"Papa!"
And there it is, the affection in the voice so beloved and so missed.
"Hello son."
"What? Am I dreaming? I hadn't thought I had imbibed so much. I'm hallucinating. Because you're dead. I mean I'm glad to see you. Of course I am. Thrilled. But it's not real. Is it?"
Anthony can hear himself babbling. He always talks too much when he's nervous. Words flowing from his mouth before he can take time to examine them. It's a habit he struggles with in general actually. Speaking before thinking.
"A breath Anthony."
His father smiles at him.
"Yes. Of course. How rude of me. Welcome?"
"Thank you. And I'm not a hallucination thank you very much. I'm a ghost."
"A ghost?"
"A phantom. A spirit. A remnant of a soul, if you will."
"I see." He doesn't. "Papa, what are you doing here?"
"I've come to give you some fatherly advice. On marriage."
"No need thank you. I have a plan."
His father raises a brow in a way that reminds Anthony very much of his oldest little sister. Funny, he always thought that Daphy looks just like his mother. But this expression....well he supposes all his siblings have a bit of Papa. Ben's kindness. Eloise's intelligence. Colin's optimism. Francesca's calm. Greg's good humour. Hyacinth's single-minded focus. All Papa.
"I am aware."
"Well then."
"It's a rubbish plan Anthony."
"I ....The Diamond..."
"Close your eyes Anthony."
"Huh?"
"Close your eyes and tell me three things about Miss Edwina."
Huffing in irritation, he complies.
"Miss Edwina is petite. She's the Diamond of the season.... she's...eh...she has a fearsome sister."
His father chuckles.
'Now three things about Miss Kate."
"Kate? Is that her name? Mmm. It suits her I think. Sharp. To the point. Classic."
"Anthony. Close your eyes."
"Alright. Miss Kate....Well she's beautiful. Her eyes....I'm not sure how to describe the colour. Liquid amber. Honey. Whiskey. And her eye lashes. So long. And her eyes flash when she's vexed. Gorgeous. Her hair is curly. Luxuriant. But for some reason she had pulled it back this evening. As though....as though she's concealing her true self. She's tall. Long legs. Papa, she's such a fine horsewoman! Funny. Sharp. Challenging. She does this thing where she tilts her chin up. Daring you to contradict her, you know? She smells... amazing...lillies .....She clearly adores her little sister. She's fierce. Her smile is like the sun....."
"And you've met her how many times?"
"Twice. Three times I suppose if you count her bollocking me on the terrace as separate to her sister's introduction."
"Indeed. So you haven't registered any of Miss Edwina's personal qualities. Unlike her sister. And yet you are planning to marry her."
"I want an amicable marriage."
"You are afraid."
"Yes I am. You didn't see Mamma...."
"Did I not?"
"Well. Whether you did or not. I don't want a woman to fall apart because I die. I don't want my children to have this .....void... I carry. And I don't want....."
"What my boy?"
"I don't want to be left behind again. Everyone I love leaves me eventually. So best not to add another person to that list."
"Oh Anthony. My dear son. If you never saw Miss Kate again. After only two. Perhaps three. After a handful of meetings. How would you feel?"
"Uh ..fine...."
"Anthony. Don't lie to your dead father."
"Humph. Alright. I'd feel like....I'd feel like the possibility of something.....I don't know what.....but that possibility, I'd feel it had been snatched away."
"Do you know how rare that is? That instant connection?"
"I...."
"Anthony, I know you are afraid. But I tell you honestly. I wouldn't change the love I had for your mother. Even if we'd only had one year together. And neither would she. What we had....real, true love, it's worth it. It's worth the risk. It's worth the pain. Don't deny yourself the chance to experience it."
"I don't..."
"I know that you're not used to putting your heart first, son. So let me put it another way. Miss Edwina seeks a love match. She deserves to be happy. Think of how you would feel if someone deliberately stood in the way of your sisters' happiness. Don't be that man."
"You're right of course. Miss Edwina deserves better."
"So do you."
"Maybe."
Anthony has always listened to his father's advice. And Miss Kate. Well, she's something else.
Something he's never encountered.
_________
A Viscount.
A handsome Viscount with melting brown eyes and a large fortune.
That could certainly be an option.
Even if Kate isn't taken with him.
But of course he's only one option at this point.
Edwina would say that tonight has been a raging success. When her big sister had first mooted the idea of England, Edwina's Mama had been unsure. But Edwina's excitement and Kate's gentle steering had persuaded her. And now Edwina has been presented to the Queen. And named the Diamond of the season. And danced with handsome titled men who all want to court her. She's going to have the love match that Kate tells her is her birthright. Live in a fine house. With a man who dotes on her. And Mama can live with them too. And maybe she'll have babies. Because that's what married ladies do. And Kate will go back to India and be an independent woman. And they'll all be happy. But in the meantime she can wear beautiful dresses and dance at balls and Lady Danbury says that she's sure to have lots of suitors to squire her to musicales and the opera which she likes the sound of. And......oh there's somebody in her room. Appa.
*****
"Appa!!!"
"Hello moonbeam. Did you enjoy your evening?"
"Oh Appa. It was magical. So pretty . The Queen has such magnificent clothes. And she named me her Diamond. And I danced with two Earls and a Viscount. And Kate says that suitors will call for me tomorrow and......Appa, what are you doing here?"
"I came to give you some advice. On love. On marriage."
"Oh don't worry Appa. Kate's told me. I shouldn't settle for anything less than true love. That's what I deserve. And that's what I'll have."
"Mmm. I admire your confidence daughter."
"Is that not right Appa? Will I not find love?"
"Oh I've no doubt you will Edwina. You're very loveable. But don't confuse the Ton's attitude to marriage with a love story."
"Huh?"
"Marriage is a business arrangement for most of these men. Offering for your hand does not mean they love you. It doesn't follow that they ever will. Just be wary."
"Yes Appa."
"And Viscount Bridgerton. Don't encourage him."
"Whyever not? Is he a bad man? I thought he seemed kind. "
"He's a very good man actually. And very kind. But he's quite..... broken. Not a good match for you."
"Perhaps I could help him?"
"I admire your sentiments. But no need because he's.....I probably shouldn't tell you this, but he's meant for your sister. He's already halfway in love with her. It might take him a while to realise that fact. But that doesn't matter. He'll never love you. So don't encourage him."
"Yes Appa."
"And don't worry moonbeam. You'll find your happy ever after. So let your sister have hers."
"Of course. Of course I will."
Appa was so wise. Edwina had always obeyed him in all things when he was alive. So why wouldn't she heed the word of his spirit? Especially if it meant Kate would also know true love. Her sister deserves her own fairy tale.
_________
The next day Anthony presents himself at Danbury House.
He runs up the stairs. Passing a long queue of gentlemen, each carrying a bouquet of hothouse flowers. Some of whom are very decent people. Others who he wouldn't allow within an ass's roar of his sisters. He should advise Miss Sharma. Kate. He should share his knowledge with her. Since she is as protective of her sister as he is of his. Perhaps she might appreciate.....
"I know you have an over inflated sense of your importance My Lord. But you appear to have skipped the queue."
"K....Miss Sharma. Good day to you. And no I haven't."
"Excuse me. All of these gentlemen are waiting to call on my sister. So you'll have to take your turn Viscount Bridgerton."
"Except I'm not here to call on Miss Edwina."
"You..."
"I'm here to call on you."
"Me?"
"You. Because Miss Sharma, you take my breath away. I can't stop thinking about you. You intrigue me. You engage me. You make me want to know you."
"And you always get what you want."
"Not always. But as you said yourself, I am a poor sport when I don't. And you're an older sibling. Surely you wouldn't like to see my poor brothers and sisters suffer because of my ill humour? If you could prevent it?"
"You are an aggravating man. Fifteen minutes."
"Fifteen minutes. This is for you."
"What is it?"
"It's called a cactus. It reminded me of you."
"Because of the spikes."
"Because it's uncompromising. Unusual. And the flowers are striking. In an unexpected way. Just like you. You challenged me, poked at me, and I wasn't expecting you. And now that you're here, I can't help but be fascinated."
"That's a strangely unloverlike declaration. Not very poetic. Not one word about my musical laugh or my sweet nature. And yet.....And yet I believe that you spoke from the heart. A rare commodity in this Ton."
"Let me tell you what else might appeal to you.....I have an encyclopedic knowledge of every man in that queue as well as many who aren't. Perhaps I could share that knowledge to help vet your sister's suitors."
"Tell me more...."
Edwina sees her sister sitting with the Viscount across the room. Heads a little closer than strictly appropriate in a couple who aren't even courting. And she thinks that her Appa was a wise wise man.