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Stepping into the diner, Daniel blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dimmer light of the interior. He hasn’t been there since… Well, since the last time when, after he’d found out how Anubis had tricked Oma into helping him ascend, she had finally taken a stand against the threat she’d helped to create, keeping the ascended Goa’uld System Lord too tied up with fighting her to carry out his plan to destroy the universe. Now here Daniel was, ascended again, this time without Oma’s help, thank you very much, and…
He was checking in, he supposed, just to see if Oma was back. He didn’t really expect her to be, but he could hope, right? Hope that somehow his benefactor had gotten the help she needed from the others to destroy the greatest threat his part of the universe had ever known. Okay, that wasn’t very likely, but he preferred to remain optimistic.
The diner still looked exactly the same, which made sense since it was originally formed from his own memories. Technically it didn’t actually exist, except that he wanted it to, so… here it was. There were even fewer people, ascended beings, this time than there had been on his first visit. He hadn’t really expected there to be any at all, but perhaps they were curious about him now that he was more like them than ever before, fully capable of ascending under his own steam. Not that he’d meant to die this time, any more than he had the previous times, but… Working for the SGC, travelling to other worlds, things tended to happen.
Since he was here though, and with the place being a diner, he figured he might as well grab a coffee before he decided what to do next.
There was nobody behind the counter, which he probably should have expected, but there was nothing to stop him doing a bit of self-service. He found himself a mug, picked up the pot of hot coffee, started to pour, and…
“I’ll have some of that, if it’s no trouble,” a deep voice said from behind him, a voice full of warmth and good humor, a voice that sounded on the edge of irrepressible merriment.
“Sure, no problem.” Reaching for a second mug, Daniel filled that too. “Milk and sugar?”
“Dash of milk, no sugar. Got to watch my waistline, such as it is.” The words were followed by a chuckle that sounded disturbingly like ‘Hohoho!’
Daniel turned slowly, setting the mugs down, staring at the white-haired old man in the fur-trimmed red suit who was seated on one of the stools. For the first time he started to doubt whether he had in fact succeeded at ascending himself, because it suddenly seemed a lot more likely that he was hallucinating as he died his final death.
“No, you’re ascended,” Santa assured him cheerfully, smiling through his snowy-white beard and moustache. “Did an admirable job of it too. I was watching. Very impressive.”
“You were watching.”
“Oh yes. How do you think I know who’s been naughty or nice? Have to keep a close eye on everyone. It’s a lot of work, I can tell you, but it’s not like I don’t have the time. You’ll be happy to know you’ve made the nice list again.”
“Thanks. You can’t really be…”
“Oho, can’t I?” Santa picked up his mug and took a drink.
“You’re an ascended being?”
“Indeed I am. Oma helped me, oh, centuries ago now. I was dying in a blizzard as I tried to deliver toys and food to those in need. She decided to step in and save me, after a fashion, as she saved you the first time. Doesn’t want the good ones going to waste.”
That made a sort of sense, it seemed the kind of thing Oma would do, except for one thing. “But we’re not supposed to interfere on the… uh… mortal plane, and you… I mean…”
“And how am I interfering, by spreading a little joy here and there, a few small gifts? Most people on earth don’t believe in me these days anyway, except for the children. I’m just keeping a tradition going, a tradition I started, I might add. How can anyone disapprove of that?”
“But you don’t seriously deliver gifts to every child on the planet on Christmas Eve.”
“Well, not to the ones who don’t celebrate Christmas, but most of the others? Of course! Nothing too big, obviously. Not dolls houses or rocking horses, and not puppies, or kittens, or ponies either; living things are too problematic, and they don’t make good gifts. There’s a lot of responsibility involved in keeping pets. But colouring books, crayons, dolls and cars and soft toys, those are manageable. Parents seldom question the gifts they don’t remember buying.”
“And because you’re ascended, you can go anywhere you want, whenever you want, in and out of homes without ever being seen.” Daniel leaned his elbow on the counter, chin resting on his hand, a precaution against his head falling off, or maybe exploding.
“Hohoho! Now you get it! And don’t worry about your head, nothing catastrophic is going to happen to it.”
“Oh. That’s good… Wait a minute, you know what I’m thinking?”
Santa waved one hand. “A skill learned over the course of centuries. You’ll figure it out yourself, if you stick around long enough. But you won’t, not this time. You’ll go back to be there for your friends. You know they still need you.”
“Got me all figured out, have you?”
“Ever since you were a small child. Tell me, do you still have the plastic dinosaurs? I was rather pleased with those, surprisingly realistic. I popped back in time to check, so I could get the colors right.”
“They were from…?” Daniel’s shoulders sagged. “Of course they were. My parents blamed my grandfather, but he denied having anything to do with them. Not that mom and dad believed him.” He smiled slightly. “I had a lot of fun with those, but I have no idea what happened to them.”
“Perhaps you’ll find them again, when you go back.” Santa winked, finishing his coffee and picking up his red hat with the white bobble on the end, pulling it on. “Well, I must be going. Nice talking with you, Daniel. Maybe our paths will cross again sometime. Thank you for the coffee and the company! Hohoho!”
“You’re welcome.” Daniel blinked, and just like that he was alone, the only evidence that Santa had ever been there was the empty coffee mug on the counter. Shaking his head, Daniel picked up his own mug, the coffee in it still hot, and took a sip.
Santa was right, of course; Daniel had ascended rather than dying, but he’d known all along that he didn’t plan on staying that way. He had responsibilities, like keeping Jack O’Neill out of trouble, or at least trying to.
Finishing his coffee, he left the mug on the counter beside Santa’s; it was time he was going, but he’d check in at the diner again the next time he was passing. Right now, he had places to go and people to see. Besides, he had a feeling when he got home, he was going to find a set of plastic dinosaurs waiting for him.
The End