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The lair was kinda quiet. Not much going on except for Leonardo watching Space Heroes and Raphael on the couch, reading a magazine. Raph then heard some noise behind him. It was very faint.
“Yo, Leo,” he said quickly, “turn that down for a sec.”
“Why?” asked Leo.
“Just turn it down, would ya?” Raph replied bitterly. Leo, without further question, turned down the volume of his show. Raph looked behind him with a sort of puzzled look on his face. Where was that sound coming from? Well, it definitely wasn’t coming from Donnie’s lab or Mikey’s room. It kind of sounded like… crying? His expression became one of concern when he heard hyperventilation paired with not-so-quiet sobs. Raph got up from the couch and walked near the entrance with Leo following him.
“What is it, Raph?” he asked before being cut off by Raph’s quiet shushing. Raph walked closer to the turnstile while ducking down, ensuring he wasn’t seen. He peeked over and looked around, seeing if he could find the source of the noise. Raphael saw a figure in the distance.
“It’s Y/N,” he gasped. He vaulted over the turnstile and quickly ran off.
“Raph, wait!” he whispered. He didn’t listen. Classic Raphael.
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You didn’t even see Raph running towards you because of the tears blurring your vision. You couldn’t breathe and your hands were shaking. You kept tugging at your shirt, the fabric feeling two sizes too small. The anxiety and fear was like a wave in a storm, threatening to crash down on you.
“Y/N!” Raphael quietly called out. You face him, still crying crocodile tears. You crawl back a bit, still kind of fear-ridden.
“Hey! Hey, it’s just me! It’s just me,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. “What’s goin’ on?”
“People…” you quietly stutter.
“Just… too many people up there, huh?” he asked. You nod. Raph sat in front of you before grabbing your hands. You look to see his hands holding yours. “Hey, you’re alright. Just breathe in and out,” he demonstrated, taking a deep breath in and exhaling slowly. You try to copy his breathing, but each inhale just sounded like spasms.
Raph’s heart sank at the sound of your breath hitching. You struggled to catch your breath, your head still scrambled with panic. He gently squeezed your hands which, somehow, ever-so-slightly calmed you. After a few minutes, your breathing became less erratic.
“That’s it,” he encouraged. “In… and out.” You try mirroring his breathing again, this time a bit more successful. Knowing he was there made you feel grounded. At that point, things seemed calmer. You felt the anxiety start to fizzle away with every deep breath you took.
“Okay,” he said, “do you wanna talk about it? I mean, you don’t have to if it’s too much.” It seemed tough, talking about what triggered your panic attack, but, after another deep breath, you finally spoke.
“It just… was too much up there,” you said slowly. “All those people, the shouting – I thought I could handle it.” You fought to keep yourself from crying. “But I couldn’t… I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I felt out of control.”
Raph’s heart almost broke hearing how scared you were. “There were just so many people,” you stammered, feeling the panic rising in you. “Everything was so loud and bright and-” Raphael knew from how fast you began to speak the anxiety was taking its hold again.
“Whoa, hey, hey,” he quickly said, “It’s okay. You’re alright, kiddo. You’re safe.” He was gentle but swift to wipe away a tear falling from your face. A moment passed, nothing but the sounds of soft cries filling the air. Raph then thought of an idea to distract you.
“Okay,” he said before clearing his throat, “I wanna try something. I picked this up from Donnie a couple weeks back.” You were curious as to what Raph had to offer. He stared down, trying to remember what came first. “Name five things you can see,” he said.
You took in your environment, pointing out five things you saw.
“Good,” he said, a smile gracing his lips. “Now tell me four things you can touch .”
After giving it some thought, you mentioned four things you could touch. You started to slowly feel the anxiety washing away, like a river over stone.
“Now name three things you can hear ,” said Raph. He could see the panic in your eyes start to fade. You listened to the sounds around you, bringing up three things you heard after.
“How about two things you can smell?” he asked. You took a deep breath through your nose, and after, mentioned the things you could smell. You felt your heart begin to slow and your shoulders begin to droop, the memory of the party almost out of sight.
“And one thing you can taste,” he finished. You had to really think about this last one. There were so many foods and drinks you loved, how could you choose just one?
“Pizza,” you said, a soft chuckle escaping you.
“Pizza?” Raph asked. “Solid choice.” The thought of pizza made him hungry. “Speaking of,” he said, leaning a little towards you, “wanna grab a slice? I think there’s some leftover in the fridge.”
“Sounds good,” you smiled, feeling like your old self again. You both got up and walked to the kitchen, Raph’s arm around your shoulder.
“Y’know, I’m proud of you,” he said, sincerity creeping into his voice. “You did a good job handling that.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have made it through without you,” you said, putting your head on his shoulder. As the both of you head to the kitchen on the quest for pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, you felt a spark of hope light up inside of you. With friends like the turtles, you knew that you would be able to tackle anything that came your way.
And that made you happier than ever.