Chapter Text
Vanessa is gone. Dead, in fact. And Wade wants to join her in the afterlife. Not that he really deserves it, he thinks. It's his fault she's dead, his life choices that brought danger and death to their home. But he tries to die, in several brutal and not so brutal ways, with zero success, of course. Damn healing factor. Damn regenerative abilities. He eventually makes one last attempt. Blows himself up and into pieces, and everything goes dark for a moment.
Suddenly he's surrounded by white, like a fog, and something starts to form in front of him eventually, like a picture going from blurry to clear, and there's a familiar silhouette.
Vanessa.
Wade tries to walk towards her, but he collides with something. It's like an invisible wall. He slams his fists against it and calls out for Vanessa, but she doesn't seem to hear or see him. He starts crying, he can't help it, tears barrel down his cheeks. She's right there, yet unreachable. He drops to his knees while calling her name, sobbing as he knocks on the wall a few more times.
Why? Why can't he just die? What did he do to deserve the endless agony of immortality accompanied by mortal love and the ability to still feel pain? Was he that much of a piece of shit?
He snaps out of his thoughts as the space around him rumbles, then it's like he's being dragged backwards and away from Vanessa, who's image starts to blur.
"No!" Wade shouts and tries to reach out towards Vanessa, but he falls face first onto the ground before everything turns black and quiet, followed by bright light.
Wade groans and puts an arm up to shield his eyes from the light, then sits up from where he's lying to find himself on what looks to be an old hospital bed. There's a white blanket over him, only covering his crotch and thighs now, and that's how he realizes he's naked.
'Where the fuck am I?' he thinks to himself and looks around. Aside from the bed he's on, the room looks like a rather classical office. The walls and ceiling are a dark, deep green, the floor and furniture dark brown wood, and there are golden curtains covering what he assumes is a window.
'What kind of place is this?' he wonders as he gets out of the bed, wraps the blanket around him and over his shoulders, and walks over to the curtains and pull them to the sides to find... nothing. Just a wall.
Ok. So he's in a room with no exit? He laughs at that, it's not creepy. At all. Nope.
'Fuck my life,' he mutters to himself. Maybe he is dead and this is hell? That would make sense, actually.
"Hello?" he starts calling out, and looks closer at the walls and ceiling to see if there are cameras or anything like that. "Satan?" he asks, mostly for the joke of it, but who knows, "It's me, Deadpool. I'm home!"
No response. Figures. He's so deserving of Hell not even the devil will pay him a visit.
He walks over to the bookshelves covering the walls in the next corner, a desk and chair in front of them, in the middle of the room. The books are all about time and space. Curious.
"I'm not reading all that," he says out loud as he turns to the desk and starts searching through the drawers, but there's nothing. Then there's suddenly orange glowing light coming from the spot on the wall he found behind the curtains, and as a foot comes poking out from it Wade ducks behind the desk.
He hears another step into the room, then a british man's voice calls out, "Mr. Wilson, I know you're here. No point or need in hiding."
'Fuck,' Wade thinks and rises up from behind the desk to see a man in a dark gray suit. He's white, probably in his 40s or 50s, with short, dark hair. His chin is clean shaven and he kind of looks like...
"Mr. Darcy?" Wade asks out loud, and the man just deadpans at him.
"The name's Paradox, Mr. Wilson," the man - Paradox - says, and Wade squints at him.
"Paradox, really? Did you pick that yourself or is it a family name?" Wade asks all seriously.
The brit doesn't answer the question and instead walks around the desk and closer to Wade. He puts something that looks like clothes, in red and black, on the desk in front of Wade.
"Here, a new suit," Paradox says, and Wade searches his eyes. They're hard to read, rather cold, but so far the man has given Wade no reason to feel threatened, and so Wade drops the blanket and picks up the suit.
It's perfect, clearly made with quality fabric, and a perfect fit as Wade puts it on, leaving the mask on the desk.
"So..." Wade starts as he slides his hands up and down his own chest and arms, feeling the suit both under and over scarred, textured skin, "Where are we, why am I here, and what do you want from me?"
Paradox starts walking around the room, hands behind his back, and asks, "You want to be a hero, right Mr. Wilson?" He turns to Wade, "You want to do something good. Something that matters. Something that would make Vanessa proud. Correct?"
Wade eyes him with suspicion, his voice hesitant, "I guess...?"
"Well, if I am correct I have the perfect opportunity for you," Paradox says as he points a hand out towards the wall above the bed, then pushes a button on a small device in his hand, and a screen suddenly appears on the wall like the screen for a projector.
Then an image appears on the screen. It's a place, a room. A dingy bar. A man sits by the counter, drinking from a bottle. Wade narrows his eyes at the image. His eyes widen as he realizes who he's looking at.
"The Wolverine?" he exclaims excitedly as he shoots Paradox a glance, then looks back at the screen.
"Indeed, but he's the Wolverine of a different universe. A different timeline. And he's about to do something very bad," Paradox informs him as he steps forward and stands next to Wade, watching the screen with him as he presses the button on the device again and the picture on the screen changes.
The images now displayed on the screen are dark and gloomy, there's broken down and burned buildings, and Wade recognizes the place.
"The X-men mansion. The school!" Wade exclaims in horror. "What happened to it? I mean, I know it gets attacked frequently, but this is something else," he says as he grimaces at the images, it all looks really bad. And then he notices something else in the pictures.
Bodies. Dead and burned bodies, some of them black as coal, and with a similar texture by the looks of it. Unrecognizable, except a vague idea of their ages. Some of them clearly children.
Wade gasps, gesturing at the screen as he gives Paradox a look of shock and disgust like only such imagines could cause Wade to make.
"Is that what Wolverine does in that timeline? Kill all the X-men? Burn down the school?" Wade asks, a deep furrow between his bald eyebrows as he frowns and scowls at Paradox like the man had just pissed on his shoes.
And then Paradox smiles. A cold, seemingly calculated, sadistic smile, like he just got an idea or feels some kind of sick pleasure at Wade's realization, but Wade doesn't know what to make of it, and then Paradox speaks.
"That is correct, Mr. Wilson," he says, all calm and matter-of-factly, seemingly unaffected by the images on the screen, and Wade, for a moment, thinks 'I'm not the only or most fucked up man in the room, for once.'
"So, why aren't you doing anything about it if you know it's gonna happen?" Wade asks, almost shouting.
"Well, because that's where you come in, Mr. Wilson," Paradox says as he clicks the button again and the screen turns off. "Who else would be better suited to face off Wolverine but another immortal killing machine like yourself? Like Deadpool?" he asks with a smile that makes Wade want to punch him in the face.
"What exactly is it you want me to do, Mr. Parachute? Kill him?" Wade asks as his brows furrow and one of them quirks.
Paradox purses his lips in a mirthless smile and shrugs, "I don't know, to be honest. But I'm sure you'll figure something out. I know you're quite the creative, Mr. Wilson."
"Wolverine's got some of the same abilities as me, killing him will be difficult if not impossible," Wade argues, then shows the palms of his hands to demonstrate as he says, "And I don't have any weapons. I refuse to face Wolverine in a hand-to-hand combat, that sexy beast's got claws in his hands for fuck's sake!"
Paradox sighs, then says, "Follow me," as he walks back to the curtains, and a glowing, orange rectangle appears on the wall.
"Anything to get out of this oversized coffin," Wade says, grabs his mask, and follows Paradox through the orange portal.
. . . . .
As they step through the portal they end up in a room that's at least twice the size of the office one. Black tiles on the floor, wide windows with frosted glass on crimson red walls where they're not filled with weapons and armors, and a long table in the middle of the room.
Paradox gestures towards the table at some belt pouches, two katanas, a couple small knives, different types of grenades, and two golden desert eagels as well as a good amount of extra ammunition for them.
Wade's eyes widen and he squeals like a little girl getting a pony as he picks up the guns and take a closer look at them. "They're perfect, daddy! I promise to be a good girl the rest of the year," Wade says as he bats his eyelids at Paradox, who looks like he's fighting the urge to throw up.
Then Paradox clears his throat and asks, "So, I'm assuming this means you'll take the job?"
"Not so fast, Mr. Parkour," Wade says as he puts the guns down on the table, an apprehensive look on his face, "Other than the possible title of hero, what exactly do I get out of this? I've been a Wolverine fanboy since like forever, if I am gonna kick the ass of someone I admire, no matter how bad they've been, I'm gonna need more than just bragging rights."
Paradox sighs, and there's a hint of a smirk on his lips, like he saw this coming. He looks Wade in the eyes as he takes on a more serious expression. "I can bring Vanessa back," he says matter-of-factly, and as Wade's jaw drops, he corrects himself, "Or, to be more precise, I can make it so she never died in the first place."
"You mean like travel back in time to stop it, or something like that?" Wade asks with a gleam of hope lighting up his face, and Paradox simply nods in response, making Wade grin.
"You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Parasocial!" Wade says and reaches out a hand to Paradox, who grabs it and gives it a firm shake.
"Excellent, Mr. Wilson," he says and drops Wade's hand, then walks over to a fancy looking, dark wooden closet while Wade grabs his new weapons and accessories.
There's a lot of strange and interesting objects inside the closet, and Wade recognizes the thing Paradox picks up from it.
"An inhibitor collar, right?" Wade asks, eyeing it with curiosity as Paradox hands it to him.
"Correct. If you manage to get it around Wolverine's neck, killing him should be as easy as squashing a bug," Paradox confirms with a nod as Wade attaches the collar to one of the many belt straps on his suit.
"Alrighty then, think I'm ready for my mission now, captain," Wade says as he pulls his mask over his face and gives Paradox a thumbs up.
"Finally," Paradox sighs, then gestures at an empty wall before one of those glowing, orange rectangles appears on it. "This will bring you to Wolverine's most recent location," he informs Wade as he watches him approach the portal, "I wish you good luck, and remember the reward."
"Sir, yes, sir!" Wade exclaims enthusiastically, doing a military salute. Then he wiggles all his fingers in a wave before he steps through the portal with a "Bye, bye, daddy!" and leaves Paradox behind.