Chapter Text
> Karkat: Check on Gamzee.
Gog, it's hot here. Really living up to the "Haze" part of it's name, and definitely nothing to do with the thickness of Karkat's shirt.
But, yeah, Gamzee should be in the game by now.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC].
CG: HEY GAMZEE, STATUS UPDATE.
CG: GAMZEE.
CG: *GAMZEE*.
TC: sHiT kArBrO i'M oK.
TC: just getting my bearings is all.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.
CG: THAT FELT. WRONG.
TC: yEaH nOw ThAt YoU'Re SaYiNg So,
TC: SOMETHING AIN'T MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR QUIRK.
CG: THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN FOR ABOUT A MONTH.
CG: OH, WAIT.
CG: THIS IS A DREAM, ISN'T IT.
Karkat suddenly sees Gamzee in front of him, like he'd been standing there all along. Those scratches along his face... yeah, they must be dreaming.
His sudden appearance makes Karkat step back, teetering dangerously close to the "water". "YOU STAY THE FUCK WHERE YOU ARE." he barks, lifting his sickle. He isn't sure why he feels so shaken, but then again, he does remember where Gamzee got those scratches.
Gamzee tilts his head, arms seeming strangely slack, like he's expecting to feel the weight of clubs in his hands. "i ain't budging, brother." he says placidly.
Karkat isn't comforted much, but he forces his shoulders to relax and his hands to place his sickle back in his sylladex. "OKAY. WHERE WERE WE?" he wonders, not expecting a response. "I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT FOR SOME REASON LOPAH SEEMS... KIND OF RIGHT? BUT THERE'S NO WAY IT IS."
Karkat steps across the black rock, thinking out loud, and pretending not to notice Gamzee's creepily quiet shuffling. "WE WERE ON THE METEOR. THEN... WE ARRIVED AT THE NEW SESSION." Karkat stops and smacks his forehead. "OH, I'M STUPID. WE WERE ON JADE'S PLANET!"
With a vertigo-inducing feeling, LoPaH melts away into the startlingly similar looking peak of Jade's volcano. Karkat's feet settle on something rough and stony, shuffling away from a now even closer Gamzee without thinking. Wow, and he'd thought LoPaH was hot.
Gamzee looks around with a confused, almost frightened look. His scratches have long faded to scars, and his facepaint is a little tidier. Something about his clothes seems off, but Karkat doesn't bother to think about that.
"EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO SHIT." he says, pacing along as if retracing his steps. Which he is. "TEREZI WAS THERE- YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Karkat whirls around ferociously, teeth bared in a snarl. "YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HER!"
Gamzee stares back blankly without a word.
"NOTHING TO FUCKING SAY TO THAT, HUH? WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED." Karkat realises he'd drawn his sickle again in anger. He puts it away, but keeps glaring at Gamzee's battered face. "WHAT THE FUCK DID TEREZI EVER DO TO YOU, HUH? SHE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT!" he asks, throat feeling strangely tight. "ANSWER ME YOU POINTLESS FUCKING SHITROD! DO SOMETHING!" he adds, pushing Gamzee with all his strength.
Gamzee stumbles back a step, looking almost dumbfounded. And he doesn't say a word.
Karkat pretends to calm down, but he's unable to untense his muscles this time. He turns away and looks over the lava. "RIGHT, YOU'RE USELESS THEN." he growls. "BIG SURPRISE. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT..."
And then suddenly his jumper is soaked through, the two perfectly circular holes in his sign leaking that awful red. Karkat turns back around, an unstoppable shakiness coming over him, not helped by the purple and stupid getup Gamzee's suddenly wearing.
He doesn't need to see his own reflection to know that the colour is fading out of his eyes as a hoarse little voice crawls out of his mouth.
"OH MY GOD."
> Jane: Answer Jake.
Jane spots the green letters on her screen and seats herself at her PC.
golgothasTerror [GT] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:05
GT: Jane!
GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all.
GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?
Of course, it's Jake. Somehow, Jane finds herself unable to muster up the enthusiasm she is somehow sure that she should be expressing.
GG: Oh. That's fine.
GT: Once again i offer my most sincerest of apologies for my impromptu intrusion.
GG: Jake, it's fine.
GT: Well if you say so.
GG: I had been meaning to message you sooner actually, but I suppose in all the hubbub today, it plumb slipped my mind.
GG: Which is a shocking fact on its lonesome, considering what I have to tell you.
GT: Oh right! Your dream!
GG: How did you know that?
GT: I havent the foggiest idea!
GG: Well, it was about you.
GG: And it felt quite real, so perhaps it... was, in a way?
GT: Curiouser and curiouser...
GG: Those are not words, Mister English, and you know that damn well!
GG: Hm.
GT: What is it?
GG: This already happened.
GT: It... did?
GT: Great scott, it did!
GT: Months ago in fact! However could i have forgotten?
GT: This must be one of those dream bubbles!
GT: So we must be asleep somewhere!
GT: Lets see, where were we...
And then Jane isn't in her room, she's on Derse (at least, she thinks that's what the purple moon was called) and Jake (something like ice crunches in her stomach seeing him) is sitting across from her in some sort of cell in a very silly outfit. Jake doesn't seem to think too hard about the sudden shift in scenery as he keeps talking. "Thats right! We were in these weird purple prisons! And we were in this god tier garb!
"Hm." is all Jane can muster.
"Whatever were we in here for? Thats the real headscratcher..." Jake says, presumably having not noticed her demeanor. Classic Jake, blind to anyone else's feelings. No, no, that's not fair. she thinks, a little guiltily
Jake must take Jane's silence as contemplation. "Any ideas jane?" he asks.
"Jane?" For Jane suddenly goes very still.
When she finally does speak, her voice is quiet, and as hard and cold as a chunk of ice. "Good news." she says, a mechanical flatness to her tone. "I figured out what it was that you were doing in this cell."
Jake flinches against the wall with a scream at Jane's bright red garb. She can't stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Oh, pull it together, English."
"How are you still mind controlled in the dream world?" Jake asks in a panic.
Jane fixes a withering glare on him. "I'm not." she says coolly.
"... Oh." Jake sits up a little, having the grace to at least look embarassed. Oh, yes, you should be bloody embarassed. she thinks with a sharp sigh as she turns to walk away.
"Wait wait, where are you going?" Jake asks.
"I've remembered everything I need to remember." is Jane's only reply.
"That doesnt answer my question at all!" Jake calls as he stands. "Jane?"
"I'd rather you didn't follow me."
"Look i just want to ask if you meant all that stuff. About the whole." Jake pauses as if wondering how to phrase it. "Marrying me against my will thing."
Jane manages to stop the eye-roll this time. "Given the memories that are returning to me, I think that seems quite counterproductive." she says coolly.
"Eh?"
"I MEAN THAT-" That came out louder than Jane had intended. She takes a moment to compose herself, one hand still clenched around that red trident. "I mean that I would like to be alone right now."
Jake, ever the idiot, doesn't listen one bit and runs ahead of her, standing in her path. "I really am sorry!" he says as Jane collides with him, then turns around to wonder "Hang on where are we?"
"Jake-" Jane goes to push him aside and continue into this land of grey concrete ground and night sky, but has no time before there's the shocking feeling of cold steel in her torso, and she looks down to see a long sword impaling both her and Jake.
"Oh shit." is all man-of-the-hour English has to say for himself.
The sword disappears as the lenses of Jake's glasses seem to become somehow cloudly. Jane's scowl returns and she pushes him to one side and storms away.
"Jane i dont think were dreaming!" Jake calls in a shocked tone.
"Ya think?"
"Oh, gosh, i remember now! It was aranea! You were unconscious and she was going to stab you and i- i jumped in the way!"
"And you couldn't even do that right."
"Jane- Look-" Jane speeds up her pace. "Hang on jane- Jane!"
"WHAT." she snaps, stopping and turning around.
But Jake is just pointing at a distant trio of strange figures, two tall and one short, whose white eyes seem to have caught theirs. With a little begrudgement (and guilt), Jane walks towards them alongside Jake.
> Jane: Be Karkat a few minutes ago.
Well, time is immeasurable in dream bubbles. But she knows what you mean. Karkat whirls on Gamzee, shrieking in a voice that's failing to hide the shrill edge of fear. "YOU WHIMSICAL FUCKING LACADASICAL SHITASS!" he screams. "YOU BLITHERING SHITMUFFIN! YOU MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A MOIRAIL!" he howls, the loudest of any of his insults.
Even dressed differently, in his absurd clown garb, Gamzee continues to stare blankly.
"ANSWER ME YOU BATSHIT MOTHERFUCKER!" Karkat shrieks, sickle pointed ahead in terrified fury.
Gamzee doesn't even step back as the point hooks his clothes.
Teeth bared, Karkat screeches in a painful voice, "*****ANSWER ME!!!!!!!*****"
And finally, Gamzee does react, but not to Karkat. A mechanical buzz tears through the air, and he jumps to one side of a swung chainsaw. Despite his dodging, though, purple blood still spatters up it, and a line traces itself down his body, eyes fading to white. "AH MOTHERFUCK, SISTER!" he howls, just as frightened as he is suddenly angry.
Kanaya (for, of course, that was who swung the chainsaw) bares her fangs in a luminescent hiss. Gamzee seems to ready himself for a reponding snarl, but Kanaya hisses again and that sends him scuttling back enough that she feels prepared to approach.
And approach she does, stumbling forward to hug Karkat. If he could have tensed more, he would have at the unexpected physical contact, but as it was he pushes her off of him mostly to keep back the hot tears behind his eyes. "I Am So Sorry" Kanaya says, the softness of her voice at odds with the fury she'd just shown.
"DON'T YOU APOLOGISE." Karkat replies. "IF ANYONE SHOULD BE SORRY, IT'S ME. IF *ANYONE* SHOULD BE FUCKING SORRY IT'S THAT MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A SHIT I GIVE." he added with a sharp head tilt to Gamzee.
"I Should Have Saved You Too" Kanaya insists. "He Didnt Get Terezi But" she trails off, and up close, Karkat can see that although her glow seems to be extending to her eyes, which remain a bright yellow, they lack pupils, and as she dulls to a normal grey, they become as white as Karkat's own.
"HOW MANY OF US MADE IT?" he asked hoarsely.
"I Dont Know" Kanaya replies quietly. "Ive Been Looking For A Little While But... I Saw Him And Couldnt Resist" The look she gives Gamzee, who is retreating further and further away by the second, could probably have killed him again if he hadn't been so far away.
"WE NEED TO FOCUS." Karkat says, shaking his head. "WE SHOULD START MOVING. TRY AND FIND ANYONE ELSE. HELL, I'D TAKE ERIDAN OVER THAT UGLY, STUPID MOTHERFUCKER."
"Well" Kanaya says, turning so they can walk side by side. "I Wouldnt Get Hasty"
"WHAT HAPPENED, ANYWAY?" Karkat asks after a short time. "AFTER I... YEAH."
"Well" Kanaya replies. "I Bisected The Clown"
"OH, IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?" Karkat can't help but laugh hollowly. "IS THAT YOUR THING NOW, THEN? SLICING HIGHBLOODS IN HALF?"
"Perhaps The Royalblooded Should Stop Being Such Nuisances That It Becomes The Only Way To Deal With Them"
"POINT."
"Regardless. Im Not Sure On Anyone Elses Survival. The Condesce Let Off Some Sort Of Blast And I Suppose I Was Caught In It"
Kanaya's pace slows a little, and Karkat puts a hand on her shoulder. "I Am Fine" she says, not brushing him off despite that. "I Have Died Before Remember"
"OH SHIT, YEAH. I WONDER IF THAT'LL HAPPEN THIS TIME. OR IF THAT JANE GIRL WILL REVIVE YOU." Karkat can't help but feel apprehensive at the thought. Kanaya's response betrays the same reluctance.
"It Is Probably For The Best That Im Here" she says.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Karkat replies, unable to believe his ears. "YOU'RE SO... GOOD AT STUFF! YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. NOT TO MENTION YOU'RE LITERALLY A RAINBOW DRINKER. AND WHAT ABOUT ROSE?"
Kanaya looks away. "I Didnt Help That Much" she finally says. "And In Terms Of Rose... I Am Needed Elsewhere"
"WHAT?" Realisation creeps over his face as he works out her meaning. "OH, FUCK OFF WITH THAT. I'D BE FINE IF YOU REVIVED RIGHT NOW."
"Oh Would You" Kanaya's eyebrow raises.
"FUCK YOU, YES I WOULD. I'D FIND SOMEONE. SOLLUX IS FLOATING AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE, RIGHT?"
Kanaya's eyebrow remains stubbornly elevated.
"JADE'S SOMEWHERE. MEENAH'S SOMEWHERE. FUCKING ERIDAN'S SOMEWHERE." Karkat continues, equally stubbornly. "WHAT?!"
"Nothing" Kanaya says. "Are We Walking Or Talking"
> Karkat a few minutes ago: Be Jane right now.
Where were we? Ah, yes. Jane recognises these creatures as trolls, like that horrible lady who'd been controlling her, but much younger, about her age.
The shortest, a ratty little thing dressed head to toe in baggy clothes, hisses at their approach, pointing a sickle at them. "HEY, HEY, HEY. YOU STAY BACK."
"Its okay!" Jake calls helpfully. "Shes normal now!"
The trolls seem a little confused, so Jane helpfully swaps her outfit. Seems like in the afterlife one can do that with a thought, as before she can blink the red robe is swapped for her signature shirt and trousers, though in the colours of her god tier garb. "Are you dead too?" Jane asks.
"OH, NO, WE'RE JUST PASSING THROUGH. YES WE'RE FUCKING DEAD!" the smaller troll snaps.
"Alright, no need to bite our heads off." Jane says. She sees Jake eye her and ignores him. "I am sorry about the whole mind control thing."
"Its Hardly Fair To Hold You Accountable" says the tallest troll, whose quite elegant and spindly, and somehow reminds Jane of a sort of insect. The smaller troll must agree, if begrudingly, because he lowers his sickle. "I Dont Believe We Were Introduced" the tall troll continues. "Aside From As Your Dancestors Troll Friends"
"Our what?"
"IT'S COMPLICATED. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." the smaller troll says. "ANYWAY. I'M KARKAT, THAT'S KANAYA."
"What about that clown fellow?" Jake asked. "We've been seeing him all over and yet his name is still an enigma." He may as well have left off at the first sentence for all the trolls pay attention to, for at the first mention of the clown troll, both swivel with weapons drawn.
"I TOLD YOU, YOU VILE PANDEAD SCUMBAG, TO BEAT IT!" Karkat howls. "FUCK OFF! GO FIND SOME MISERABLY LONELY SHITHOLE TO HONK IN OR SOMETHING. TAVROS IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE, GO BOTHER HIM! JUST LEAVE. US. ALONE!"
The clown troll shuffles back under what seems to Jane like unfairly harsh language. Not to mention strong language. "Now hang on!" she says. "What's he done to deserve that?"
"KILLED ME, FOR ONE." Karkat replies, turning around, before jumping as Kanaya swivels around with a snarl, her skin lighting up like a bulb.
"You Do Not Move" she says, her even voice not shifting even slightly (which frankly was much more frightening than Karkat's screeching) as she addresses the clown, who had taken a step forward once Karkat's back was turned. "You Do Not Say A Word Or I Will Not Hesitate To Test The Theory Of Double-Death Upon You"
"nOw hOlD On a mOmEnT SiStEr," he replies in an almost sweet, rambling voice, before he's cut off.
"I Am Not Your Sister" Kanaya says. "What I Am Is Sick Of Letting You Live"
"WELL YOU DON'T GOTTA MOTHERFUCKING DO THAT NO MORE." In an instant, gone is any inkling of this clown as anything other than a spectre of nightmare. And suddenly as his voice dros once more he is a pitiful, scruffy thing, hardly frightening at all; "do you?"
"SHUT UP, GAMZEE." Karkat snaps. "Gamzee", as the clown is probably called, turned to him with a strange expression.
"IF I MEAN SHIT TO YOU, IRON HERETIC. then tell me. IF I AM BELOW THE ABOMINATION MOTHERFUCKING DIRT IN YOUR DRAINED VEINS. then why don't you let your newest palefriend here slit me all neatways down the middle once again and wash both your hands of me?" he asks. "WHY THE MOTHERFUCK NOT?"
Karkat falters. I'm not watching MORE dramatics. Jane thought. But what to do?
With a fast movement, she grabs the edge of Gamzee's hood, and brings his face in front of hers, in the manner that some people grab ears. "You listen here," she says, addressing all three of the trolls. "Are you just going to stand here threatening each other for however long it'll take? Because I don't fancy standing while I wait for you to remember I'm still here."
"Im also still here." Jake adds.
"I am aware of that, Jake." Jane says irritably. She notices Kanaya and Karkat are giving her a strange look- not that Gamzee doesn't look completely blind-sided. "What?"
"Oh, is this a quadrant thing?" Jake asks, approaching hesitantly. This snaps Karkat out of whatever mystified shock he's in, as he groans loudly.
"I COULD LIVE THE REST OF ETERNITY WITHOUT EVER BEING ASKED IF SOMETHING IS 'A QUADRANT THING'." he says. "NOW, 'IS THIS A CONCILATORY THING'? THAT'S A REASONABLE QUESTION. 'IS THIS A PALE AND/OR ASHEN THING' ALSO PRETTY REASONABLE BUT I'D SAY YOU'D HAVE TO ASK- WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?"
"Jane."
"-YOU'D HAVE TO ASK JANE IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND ALL THE JUICY DETAILS. BUT IF I EVER HEAR 'IS THIS A QUADRANT THING' ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I WILL DO A HILARIOUSLY GYMNASTIC MANEUVER OFF OF THE HANDLE INTO THE VOID AND GO SPINNING THROUGH ETERNITY LIKE A METEOR PROPELLED BY HALF-GHOST PSIONICS." Karkat continues, in the tone of someone who thinks this is a perfectly reasonable set of words to be saying, as opposed to absolute nonsense. "I'LL TELL YOU THIS, YOU'RE CLEARLY JOHN'S DANCESTOR."
"Well im sorry," Jake says. "I was just a little befuddled."
"BELIEVE ME, WE ALL ARE. ALL THE TIME. BEFUDDLEMENT IS THE MULTIVERSAL CONSTANT WHEN IT COMES TO US."
"I Believe Jane May Have A Point" Kanaya says, attempting to bring the conversation back to the topic at hand. "As Much As I Would Like To Paint The Bubbles Purple I Admit That The Fate Of Our Friends Concerns Me More"
"Well, I'm sorry to say Jade didn't... didn't make it." Jane says.
"I Thought Not" Kanaya replies, as Karkat yells "WHAT?!"
"That sapphire spider girl dropped a house on her." says Jane. "I saw it with my own eyes."
"WHOEVER HEARD OF A GOD TIER DYING OF HAVING A FUCKING HOUSE DROPPED ON THEM?!" Karkat protests.
"I Think The How Is Irrelevant" Kanaya says. "With That Said Im Afraid I Didnt Gain Any Knowledge From Lasting A Little Longer"
"RIGHT. GUESS WE'RE WALKING THEN." Karkat replies. He turns to Gamzee. "YOU. STAY. HERE. AND IF I SO MUCH GET AN INKLING THAT YOU'RE FOLLOWING US, YOU'RE DEAD TIMES HOWEVER MANY SHITS I AM FAILING TO GIVE." He then turns to Jake and Jane. "I GUESS YOU'RE COMING WITH US, THEN?"
"I suppose so." Jane replies.
"WHOOP DE FUCKING DOO. MORE HUMANS! COME ON."