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Yorick was tired. He had not been away from home for an extended period for two years, and now being away from Runestone to daily be entertained by the Tyrells of Thorn Hall or talk about politics with Ser Garth and the Lords of the Reach for two weeks saw him mentally wearing out. He wanted to curl in on himself and not leave his rooms within the sprawling estate for a day, resetting himself more effectively than only a night’s sleep was capable of. At least who called on him now was Shireen, she was not taxing to interact with.
She was scowling when he pushed open the door, glaring at the intricately painted wall of the withdrawing room and fingers drumming impatiently on her pregnant belly as she propped her crossed arms there. Yorick furrowed his brow, this was not what he had wanted when his sister told him his wife wanted to speak with him.
“I apologize if I took too long getting here. Lord Reyne–”
“I do not care about what you and Lord Reyne were speaking about.” Shireen snapped, her bright blue eyes stormy with annoyance and anger as she finally looked at him. Yorick stood straighter at that, his slightly perturbed confusion being replaced with momentary shock. It was unusual for his wife to be so short with anyone, let alone him.
“You are out of sorts. Should I come back later?”
“No,” Shireen grunted as she pushed herself up from the chair, and she only thanked him with an annoyed huff when Yorick came to her side and helped her to stand, “I want you here because I am out of sorts.”
“What could possibly be wrong?”
“What could possibly–what is not wrong?! I am seven months into my pregnancy and will have to give birth amongst strangers because of how far from home we are, I am tired, my back hurts, you are constantly busy, and now we must discuss your cousin. Because Rhaenyra has made it abundantly clear that we are not.”
Rhaenyra. Of course she had already done something. So much for Ella and Robert’s belief she had calmed and wished to try at making amends even though half of everything wrong was her fault; not that she would admit it. She never admitted anything or placed blame at the proper person’s feet.
“I could fly you back to Runestone after Ella’s wedding.” Yorick could not do much about her fatigue or her aches, but he could offer her that comfort at least. It was easier than turning the princess away when she had come all this way to represent the crown.
“I am not flying for that long while I am this pregnant–and what about Rhea?! We could not just leave her behind.”
Yorick scowled, just as annoyed and put off as Shireen now. “I have offered you a solution. And if this is such a concern, why did you not bring it up before we left? The whole household did not need to come, you could have stayed and had your ladies attend you so you could be at home. Your mother might have even sailed from Storm’s End to help.”
Fury flashed in her eyes, every word that left Yorick’s mouth seeming to spur her further and further into what was wrong. “I should not be expected to think of every possibility of my future discomfort while in such a condition on top of preparing for travel, particularly travel for such a happy occasion! A happy occasion that has been nearly completely ruined!”
“I offered you a solution!” He reiterated, as if repeating himself louder would resolve the whole affair and have his wife fawning into his arms, letting go of everything that perturbed her so.
“I do not want your solution! It is not even for what is the most important matter, stop focusing on the babe!” Shireen’s hands were fists at her sides as she yelled, her full lips curled in indignation. Yorick inhaled sharply through his nose, something dark and ugly roiling around inside him. He tried to bite it back as best he could, but it seemed an impossible feat to hold back all of the awful, broken things in him that had been festering since his boyhood in The Red Keep.
“If you do not like my solution, then I suppose you do not like Cannibal. Or me for that matter.” Yorick spat, taking a step back and turning partially away from her. He could still see his wife from his periphery, he would not fully turn from her, but he could not face her directly either. He was being a petulant child, but that did not make his words feel any less damning and true. Shireen balked, incredulous and seeming even more upset than when they started.
“That is not what I said.”
Yorick said nothing, wallowing in his sullenness as he crossed his arms. The silence stretched out for several seconds before Shireen all but snorted and spoke again.
“Is this truly how you wish to conduct yourself?”
She was met with silence again. Yorick slumped further in on himself, brooding and pouting and perfectly willing to draw this out for the rest of the day until something could right the situation and set the pair of them back up to their usual selves.
“Do not make me tell you who you are behaving like.”
“How dare you!” Yorick was whipping back around and closing the distance between himself and Shireen before he even knew what he was doing, the loudness of his outburst making the silence that followed almost deafening. He felt like he was shaking from how bright and hot the inferno inside him was, rage blazing like a fire in his belly ready to burst forth and engulf anything that displeased him. He knew who Shireen spoke of, how could he not? He'd lived with the man for eleven years, had looked up to him and loved him with all the misguided loyalty and admiration he could muster until the gilding on his sire tarnished and flaked away while he was still a boy. The prince would have let all of that fire out, but Yorick would not. He couldn’t, not with Shireen, not even if he wanted to.
“Go ahead.” She did not shrink back as he loomed over her, angry with unshed tears shimmering in his eyes. Yorick bit the inside of his cheek to keep his lower lip steady, and when he remained just as silent as when Shireen had rejected his solution she frowned up at him, her jaw set and her eyes wide.
“You defer to Lady Vaeronica and even Ella more than me, and your sister has barely been back three months! You never step in when anyone ignores or blocks off anything I try to do as Lady of Runestone that would upset how Lady Rhea did things, you just sit back in your grief and let your mother haunt our home and our marriage while everyone dismisses me because trying to get what I want for myself will upset the babe. Either of them! Because I have been pregnant our whole marriage, and that is all anyone sees! I want to do my duty, and I want to have children, but you will not let me in! Not in a way that means anything. And now you loom over me and throw your weight around because you are angry I would dare to even hint at how you are behaving; so go ahead! Say what you want and then leave like I am sure you want to! I relieve you of the duty that holds you back from it.”
“My duty?”
“Yes.”
“It is duty that binds us to another, but it is my heart that is drawn to you, Shireen.”
“Yorick–”
“I am sorry. I–I am so, so sorry.” He took her hands as that burning fire turned from anger to desperation. He did not want Shireen to be upset, he wanted her to know he cared. He needed it more than air.
“Prove it,” her voice and expression were softer now, but the icy determination was still in her eyes, “I do not just want your pretty words, Yorick. I want your support, I want you to let me support you. Meaningfully. You do not just have Ella now, you have me and you said you would share your burdens with me. Trust me with all of you, be a partner to me. I want us to work together. I want to be more than just the pretty brood mare that Lord Boremund gave you. Let me be your Lady–let what I told the princess be true.”
“The pretty brood–what happened with Rhaenyra?!”
She pulled one of her hands from his and held his cheek, grounding him and keeping his focus where she wanted it. “Do not get distracted. We will talk about her later. Prove your words, Yorick. Swear to me, and follow through.”
“I swear to, Shireen. I will be better, I will be everything you deserve. You shall have whatever support you need of me, I will come to you for your counsel…to show you what I would hide from everyone else. You are my fire, my lady wife; you are the Lady of Runestone now. Things…things should be as you would have them, and they will be.”
“I will hold you to this.”
“I want you to.” Yorick’s voice was barely above a whisper, that was all he could manage without it breaking. Shireen’s face softened fully at his words, the ice melting out of her eyes as she pulled his face down to rest his forehead against hers. His neck was craned somewhat awkwardly, but it didn’t matter. This was all he wanted.
“I love you.” The words felt desperate as they left him, a lifeline haphazardly clung to as he longed for reciprocation to pull him to shore before he drowned. Shireen stroked his cheek with her thumb, and he would have leaned into her touch if it would not threaten to move his forehead from hers.
“I love you too.”
The sigh Yorick let out was shaky, relief and grief and disappointment in himself and so, so much devotion coming out in that breath. The fire of his anger, too. Still burning, not quite embers and ready to become a roaring blaze again as soon as he knew what had happened between the princess and his wife. That was what had upset her so, had made everything he said exasperate Shireen and make her point out his failings. At least this argument would force him to improve beyond where he’d pulled himself, clawing out of the pit he’d found comfort in because staying in that misery was easy.
Yorick squeezed Shireen’s hand that he still held before finally pulling back to kiss her forehead. His lips lingered there longer than they needed to. He wanted to stay like that for as long as he could. Shireen’s face was still soft when he straightened back up.
“Now, tell me what happened with Rhaenyra. I will do whatever I need to.”