Work Text:
The chickens.
Tashigi sighed for the umpteenth time of the day. She quickly slipped the latest unreadable mission report into a titanic binder that she stuffed into the library with precision. She slumped on the chair of her office, exhausted. Guards Sundays were absolutely awful, she hated them viscerally. It was not so much a matter of classifying and storing all the mission reports of his service that were written during the week that exasperated her. No, at least she knew all the news and it was always satisfying to know that many pirates had been arrested and judged during the week. No, what depressed her the most in this bleak day was dinner.
Tashigi sighed again, grabbing her coat and sliding it over her shoulders. She went out of the office and made sure to lock it behind her and walked without much conviction to the cafeteria.
On Sunday evening, the dining room was barely at 10% of its capacity. All that remained were the guard soldiers, like her, and some high-ranking officers who remained eternally faithful to their posts. "In case Monkey D Luffy decides to start a world war," as old admiral Sengoku always says in front of the former Vice-Admiral Garp, hilarious as usual.
She slowly fills her meal tray. A simple corn salad and a potato and leek soup would do the job, she did not wish to stay here forever.
She put down her meal tray forcefully, unintentionally, near Hina who did not even moved. They were both accustomed to this story of Guards Sundays, that were desperating for one and the other.
Tashigi loved Hina's presence, do not believe otherwise. The beautiful pink-haired fighter did not speak much but was very strong and just as interesting.
What deeply despaired her was The Chickens.
“The chickens” were the nickname given by the sailors to the women working for the information service. They were barely 4, sometimes 5, the service was tiny. Tashigi was exasperated at first when she learned about this ridiculous nickname. Women working for the information service were very competent.
Then she had spent a Sunday evening with them. And she understood.
The chickens had taken the annoying habit of coming to the table of Hina and Tashigi every Guards Sunday evening. More to be seen in the company of the two vice-admirals than to make the conversation, since the chickens never talked to the two fighters.
And they spoke loudly. Very loudly. And they talked about their sex life. Perfect mix to be noticed by all these gentlemen. Which was obviously the goal.
Hina did not care. She sat at the table and, once she finished eating, she was smoking a cigarette and watching them behind her opaque glasses, waiting for Tashigi to finish her meal. Hina and Tashigi never talked during this moment, The Chickens did it well enough. Tashigi was focused on eating the contents of her meal tray and was submissive to the noisy discussion beside her.
"He began to touch my breasts with his cold, rough hands, I wanted to throw up," exclaimed the blonde chicken. The others expressed their disgust in their turn. Tashigi chewed his corn, his eyes immersed in the blank, daydreaming of the delicious bath awaiting her on his way home.
Hina, beside her, sat down to watch each of the chickens. The smoke of her cigarette disappeared in the middle of the table. She did not move an eyelash. No one knew what she was looking at behind her glasses, let alone what she was thinking about.
The cloud of smoke surrounded Tashigi, who coughed. Even by being with Smoker every day, she still could not stand the asphyxiating smell.
This caught the chicks' attention on the brunette.
"Too bad you don’t know all of that Tashigi." Started the blonde chicken, while eating her cheesecake. The blonde was looking at the vice-admiral up and down, without even trying to hide it.
"With a body as childish as yours, you will never be able to put a man in your bed". She continued.
Tashigi did not answer. She just drank her soup. Hina did not move.
"You should try to show more of your body. Otherwise you will be alone at thirty, surrounded by cats. You will be the old lady of Marineford.”
Hina could not hold back a mischievous smile at the incoherence of these words (and stupidity, it had to be admitted). But she still did not move.
"You must have experience otherwise you will find yourself as a kid in front of the man of your life and he will mock you for that. It would be stupid to miss the love of your life because you did not spread your thighs enough in your youth. And then you must train your mouth, you need experience for that, you know ... "
The chickens then left in a debate on how to use your mouth perfectly during intimate relationships.
Angry but also exhausted, the vice-admiral got up and grabbed her meal tray. Hina knew her friend perfectly well to know that this kind of comment hurt her. It hurt her in her esteem and vice-admiral's ego, which was clearly not respected, but also in her woman's ego.
The brunette was stepping over the bench to save herself from this disastrous situation as the chickens continued to mock the Vice Admiral.
Hina was faster. She jumped up, agilely gripped her meal tray and walked out of the table with ease.
Tashigi was looking at the floor and hardly dared to keep going.
"This stupid shyness" sighed Hina for herself.
The rose turned to face the table occupied by The Chickens.
"Vice Admiral Tashigi," she exclaimed, her cigarette hanging on her lips.
All the Chickens were silent, surprised by the rare intervention of the rose.
"I will appreciate you making less noise in your sexual intercourse with Vice Admiral Smoker. I can’t focus on my work”. She finished.
The Chickens froze in shock. They would never have thought that Tashigi had such a fulfilling sex life, let alone with one of the vice-admirals.
Hina turned around, her mischievous smile in her face, crushed her cigarette against the table and left.
Tashigi smiled.