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Junghwan kept turning and tossing.
He couldn’t sleep, and there was nothing he could do about it.
It was because he kept thinking of what had happened earlier.
Chansik said he loved him.
That he loved him.
Junghwan didn’t know how he felt about Chansik until 2 months before. He knew the younger boy made him feel warm, and that he missed him when they weren’t together. And when he finally realized that what Chansik felt for him was much more than friendship, it made him come to terms with his own emotions.
Junghwan liked Chansik. Probably not as much as he was loved by him, but he still did.
The first time they kissed, it was in the bathroom of the movie theater where they had their first real date. They had held hands during the whole movie, and when they walked out Chansik had whispered in his ear that he wished he could kiss him. Junghwan had blushed deeply, and the idea made his heart race.
It wasn’t long until they were in a bathroom stall, Chansik pressing Junghwan against the wall, warm lips against warm lips, gentle hands on Junghwan’s waist, strong hands on Chansik’s shoulders.
Junghwan could still hear Chansik’s voice saying it. I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
His phone vibrated on his bedtime table.
It was Chansik.
1:02 hyung, are you sleeping
Junghwan grinned as he typed a reply.
His feet were cold, and he turned again and again for what felt like forever until his phone buzzed again between his hands.
1:29 i’m at your door
Junghwan stared at his phone for a few second before he pushed the covers off, his cold feet hitting the floor with a thud.
Chansik really was at the door. His hair was a mess, his eyes tired.
“I can’t stand being away from you” he admitted.
Junghwan grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
There was an awkward silence, and Chansik leaned forward to kiss Junghwan before he took off his coat.
They were still learning to be a couple.
Chansik came from outside, but he was warm when Junghwan wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder. Chansik hugged him back, tightly.
“I missed you” muttered Junghwan, and Chansik laughed softly, because they had seen each other a few hours before.
“I missed you too” he said.
“Can i just sleep here?” he asked. “I want to sleep in your arms.”
Junghwan’s heartbeat quickened at the demand, and he smiled, his cheeks warming up. Chansik hadn’t slept over, ever since they started dating.
“I’d love to.”
They held hands as they walked towards Junghwan’s bedroom. Chansik pulled on his hand to make him turn around towards him before they reached the room, his hand on his waist as he kissed his lips once again.
“I love you so much” he said and he kissed him again, and again, and Junghwan grabbed his shirt.
“My feet are cold” he whispered between kisses, and Chansik chuckled. They unwillingly let go of each other so they could go to bed.
Chansik took off his socks and his hoodie, and he slid between the covers of Junghwan’s now cold bed.
They both moved to the center of the bed, limbs tangling in a hurry to be close to each other. Chansik ran his hand through Junghwan’s hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“Thank you,” he said.
Junghwan frowned at him. He was pressing his cold feet on Chansik’s legs, where his pajamas has ridden up.
“Why are you thanking me?”
Chansik’s hand softly caressed his cheek, so gently it almost tickled. Chansik was gentle, treating Junghwan as if he was scared to break him, when Junghwan was strong, tightly holding onto Chansik as if he was scared he’d slip through his fingers.
“For letting me love you,” answered Chansik, and that was the sweetest thing he could’ve said. Junghwan brought their intertwined hands to his lips, kissing his boyfriend’s fingers, one by one.
Junghwan had never been loved by anyone the way Chansik loved him, with such gentleness, attention and affection. Chansik had loved him for so long, without him knowing. He hated himself for not realizing before, for letting Chansik thing he couldn’t be loved back by him. Junghwan didn’t deserve all the love he received.
“Thank you” said Junghwan, and he let go of Chansik’s hand to grab his face, “for letting me love you back.”
They kissed again, a kiss filled with love, slowly, softly, passionately, warm lips on warm lips, eyes shut, Chansik’s left hand on his waist, his left hand over Junghwan’s hand.
Junghwan always wondered what it would feel like to love someone so much it hurt. They were dating for barely 2 months. How much would he love Chansik, if his love continued to grow every day? Was there a limit to love?
Junghwan loved Chansik more than he had ever loved anyone. That, he was sure of.
“I love you,” he said when he pulled away, and Chansik repeated after him, planting kisses all over Junghwan’s face.
He closed his eyes, getting even closer to Chansik so he could rest his head on his chest. He could hear his heart beating.
“Goodnight” he whispered. Chansik softly patted his head again.
“Goodnight my love.”