Imagine the Damian and Jon age gap but it happens a couple years later like Jon is 15 and Damian is 17. So when Jon comes back, and he’s 18 to Damian’s 17, everyone keeps making jokes about how he has to “wait a couple of months” because Jon’s crush on Damian is the most obvious thing in the world. (Unless you’re Damian, of course.) Now Jon is blushing furiously and avoiding eye contact, but Damian doesn’t get it?? Why is Jon so flustered? Jon, stop acting weird. We’re just going to see a movie. Stop blushing. You’re above this, Jon. Why won’t you hug me anymore? I thought you liked hugs. No, I don’t like them, but I’ve come to tolerate them from you. Do you mean to tell me all of that work was for nothing? How could you do this to me? Just hug me, damnit! Stop ignoring me!
I want Damian to get a really ugly foster cat. Greasy fur, meows like a smoker, eyes constantly goopy, the works.
Bruce was hesitant to allow him to foster because he knows they'll all end up foster fails and Wayne Manor is already turning into a glorified petting zoo. Damian promises that wouldn't happen. So, it ended in a bet, if Damian can successfully foster this cat, then he'll be allowed to foster more cats.
Bruce figured if Damian adopts this ugly cat, then no cat is safe.
It takes a long time for the cat to even warm up to them. She was left at the shelter in a cardboard box so no one really knows what happened to her. Damian spend almost every second he can generally in the same room as her. He just sits there, sometimes just mediating, but sometimes he has a book or a sketchbook. The cat slowly gets more comfortable around Damian. One day, she's brave enough to rub her head against Damian's hand. And it's like she turns into a whole new cat. She's suddenly the most cuddly snuggly cat on the planet. She purrs really really loud too.
And Bruce starts to think that they're going to need a couple more litter boxes.
Damian names her something really elegant, to make up for her unfortunate exterior. Something like Petunia or Tanya (idk if that's an elegant name, but it's really elegant to me). She gets along really well with Alfred the cat too. They can usually be found together cuddling or playing. She didn't like Titus at all at first, but he's as diligent as his owner, so she came around. Although she always has to be the one to initiate the interaction usually, or she'll hiss and scratch.
Predictably, it ends in a foster fail, and Damian thinks that it's probably a good thing he's not allowed to foster.
He still argues with his father though.
Jason can sing?
I love the idea that the batfam are all musically inclined in some way but no one thinks Jason is because he doesn't sing or play music around the rest of the family but I would love it if they found out because he blew up and was all over the radio one day.
Dick driving up from Blud just listening to the radio when the host comes on with a loud boisterous voice making him jump.
Host: Alrighty everyone! The votes are in and tallied the top 3 songs by rising star Jaybird voted on by all of you lovely people out there in radio land!
Host: And to help us with this announcement I have a special guest, Gotham's superstar song bird, Jaybird himself! Welcome man we're so happy to have you here!
Jason: Thanks for having me I can't wait to see what everyone said about my music. This really just started as way to work through my feelings I never thought anyone would like it this much I'm so grateful for everyone's support.
Host: Talented, cute, and humble to boot. Tell me you're single!
Jason gives a chuckle: Happily taken.
Host: Darn, well we're happy for you. Now lets Get to these results! In third place we have... Little me!
Jason, singing: I'd tell him to speak up, tell him to shout out, and know that right here, right now, you're beautiful wonderful, anything you wanna be... little me
Host: Personally this would have ranked higher for me but I love it; its moving it speaks to becoming the person younger you needed I love this message truly.
Jason: I'm so glad people resonate with it it was a really hard message to portray but I think it turned out well.
Host: Absolutely! So well done! Moving on to Numero dos! We have F****in' Perfect!
Jason, singing: Mistreated, misplace, misunderstood, Mx No-Way-It's-All-Good, it didn't slow me down, Mistaken, always second guessing underestimated, look, i'm still around... Pretty, pretty please, don;t you ever, ever feel... like you're less than fuckin perfect. Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You're fucking perfect to me...
Host: This one, I totally get I am sensing a theme here with the empowerment of people and you seem to really enjoy making sure you're music sends a message huh?
Jason: I mean what's the point of letting people listen to music that doesn't mean anything? I wish I had music like this when I was going through it I know that I'm not saying anything new I'm just trying to say it louder, ya know?
Host: I hear ya! Now in the number one spot... drum roll please *drum roll*
Host chuckles: The number one voted song is... Funhouse!
Jason, singing: This used to be a funhouse, But now it's full of evil clowns, It's time to start the countdown,I'm gonna burn it down down down,I'm gonna burn it down. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, fun...
Jason chuckles along with the host: I mean I guess that was to be expected in Gotham
Host: Well you heard it here folks, thank you for tuning in keep listening for details to come about how to score some tickets to Jaybird's next concert!
Dick hysterically to Jason's voicemail: Jason answer your freaking phone when were you going to tell me you were famous?!
10 Things I Hate About You
Jason "Jay" Todd
What if Dick payed Roy to take Jason out and keep him happy enough that he would be more willing to come around to the family. He hacked in and got Roy into Jay's classes at Gotham U and his usual schedule so that they would start running into each other more. What if he told Roy not to mention anything about them ever being friends because that would just piss of Jason more so Roy agrees he needs the money anyway and what could go wrong from taking Dick's brother out for a while really?
So Roy joins Jason's classes, Creative Writing, Literary History, and Comp. Enough that they were together often but not enough that it was odd. He sat next to him in class and started conversations started taking him to coffee for study dates and to get help with some of his work.
He took him out to dinner and to the museum. He took him to the farmers market and went to volunteer at youth shelters to help kids with homework and the like.
When Jason decides to bring Roy to one of the Wayne Charity Galas, Roy is hesitant but agrees with a smile before he kisses Jason goodbye and texts Dick that they need to talk. He wants to end the arrangement. He doesn't know how to tell his friend that he fell for his little brother but he just knows that he can't continue with this relationship if he's getting paid he says he'll give the money back at the Gala.
Fast forward to the night of the gala and Dick pulls Roy into the hall to talk away from the party.
Dick: I don't understand you did what I paid you to do you made Jason happy you brought him home he came to a Gala of his own volition! you earned this
Roy: No listen I can't do it just take the money please I don't want it...
Jason looking for his brother and date stops dead in his tracks: You paid him to date me?...
Roy: Jason wait you don't unders-
Jason: Save it. I'm leaving lose my number.
Roy shoots Dick one last panicked look: Jaybird please I can explain.
Dick watches with pale eyes as Roy chases after Jason who has obviously started crying as he storms out of the gala.
Roy: Jaybird, baby please just listen to me for one second!
Jason turns on him with a snarl: You don't get to call me that anymore! I don't want to listen to a word you fucking say! I should have known! I'm so stupid to think anyone could ever care about me like you did! Just stay away from me.
Roy is left standing like an idiot as Jason drives off and he wonders how he's going to face Jason in class after this...
Dick’s Jealous, A Ficlet
Jason has become the big brother none of the other bat-kids knew they needed. Jason cooks food for Tim constantly; he helps Stephanie and Duke write book reports for school; when Cass is in Gotham for a bit from Hong Kong and she’s feeling overwhelmed, Jason will read to her in his deep but quiet voice; Jason is the first to admit that Barbara can kick his ass at everything and is the only one in the family that has never underestimated her. The only person in the family that Jason hadn’t built this strange, new relationship with was Damian.
Secretly, this made Dick happy. He knew without a doubt that Damian preferred his company over Jason’s. Until…
Dick came across Jason and Damian having a quiet discussion on the rooftops one day and began to eavesdrop.
“I know it’s wrong, but I still miss her sometimes,” Damian said softly.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, kid,” Jason replied. “Talia is… very complicated, and I spent a long time with her and she was nothing but kind and loving to me. Have I told you about that one time she took me to Siberia?”
Damian shook his head and Jason regaled him with stories of his mother’s badassery and overprotectiveness.
Dick, despite the fact he was overjoyed Damian was sharing his emotions with someone, was very jealous. How come Damian didn’t feel comfortable sharing this sort of thing with him, but he felt comfortable turning to Jason, the grown man who has shot him before.
“Thank you, Todd, it was nice to hear someone speak of her with… kindness. Grayson very much despises her, as does father,” Damian said.
“Well, Damian, they kind of have a right to. I mean… the things she did to you were terrible, unforgivable. But that’s the problem with abusive parents, Damian, they usually do just enough to make you almost forget those parts.”
Damian was silent at this, and Dick was almost shocked. He knew that Jason was very good at dealing with victims of abuse, but he had never really seen it first-hand.
“Perhaps,” Damian said. “I must return to patrol, no doubt Grayson is concerned.”
Jason chuckled a bit, “I know you don’t think he’ll get it, but Damian? He loves you, that’s obvious to everyone, and you shouldn’t underestimate what Big Bird would do for his little brothers.”
Dick could no longer contain himself. He let out a loud coo and lept onto the roof, quickly bringing in Jason for a tight hug.
“I love you too, little brother,” Dick said in Jason’s ear.
“Ah! Jesus Christ! Get off me you sappy freak!” Jason exclaimed while trying to detach Dick’s clingy limbs.
“Love you, Jay, see you around!” Dick called behind him as he and Damian swung away.
Dick’s jealousy was gone because there was still a little brother that needed him: and that little brother? Jason.
Jason as an Alternate Collector of Children Part Two
So Jason meets up with Bruce and his family for dinner at the manor. His reunion with Alfred is tearful and touching and everything Alfred had hoped for.
Jason and Bruce and Alfred discuss what has happened while Jason has been away while Dick, Tim and Stephanie are in charge of watching Jason’s kids, Damian, Cass and Maia.
Jason tells Bruce all about what happened, how he found the kids, making his company, deciding to come to Gotham, his decision to avoid Bruce, all of it. Bruce is a little hurt, but mostly he’s so, so proud. This was not the reaction Jason was anticipating, so he was taken off guard. So then, when Alfred asks if he’ll bring himself and the children to the manor for dinner once a week, Jason finds himself accepting despite the fact that he had resolved earlier to not be a part of Bruce’s life.
Meanwhile, Tim is starting to notice something about Maia. She looks startlingly like Steph. So Tim does some quick haking on his phone and discovers that Maia is actually Stephanie’s baby, the one she put up for adoption. While Tim is debating what to do about that, Dick is talking to Maia. She’s very shy, but she eventually opens up and tells Dick about her day.
“Then Baba says Dami no knife and Dami was grrr and tt and Cassie laugh,” Maia said with a bit of a giggle.
Dick was very amused by her style of storytelling. He was drawn away because he heard Damian threatening Tim.
“I don’t know what you’re playing at, Pretender, but you will stay away from my little sisters!” Damian snapped.
“I wasn’t doing anything, I was just-”
“Hey, Damian, can we maybe put down the dagger?” Dick asked.
“Tt.” Damian put the dagger back into his jacket pocket.
“Do you just carry that around with you all the time?” Steph asked.
“Of course. Baba says it’s important to always have a weapon within arms reach.”
This is the point where Cass wakes up and starts scream-crying. Damian amps up his threats and insults toward Tim, and Stephanie realizes what Tim just realized before, that it might be possible she was Maia’s mother. Stephanie tries to approach her, but the girl freaks out and starts bawling as well.
“What is going on?” Jason’s voice boomed from the entryway. He was in full dad-mode now, and there was no stopping him.
“Damian put away the knife. Stephanie, step away from Maia, you’re scaring her,” Jason said. He quickly scooped Cass up in one arm and crouched in front of Maia, who was still crying. “Hey kiddo, you’re alright,”
“Baba!” Maia cried and hugged Jason. He stood and lifted up both of his girls effortlessly as he turned to Dick.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing! I swear! Damian was just threatening to eviscerate Tim and then Cass started crying and then-”
“Okay, shut it Bird Brain. They’re not used to new people. You freaked them out. I told you Maia was shy.”
Tim and Steph exchanged a glance. “Jason… when you adopted Maia, did they say if she had been adopted before?”
“Yeah, she had, but that family was killed in a Joker attack, then she went into the foster system with a shitty set of parents, and that’s where I picked her up from.”
Steph covered her mouth with her hand and rushed out of the room.
Jason narrowed his eyes, “What’s going on?”
“That’s Stephanie’s baby,” Tim said.
The entire room froze, except for Jason, who simply continued rocking his girls.
Jaybird Watching
Jason as an Alternate Collector of Children Part One
So I’m dabbling with writing an AU where Jason also raises a family of ass-kickers but does it very differently to Bruce. Here are some snapshots. (I cannot stress enough that this is an AU)
Jason takes Damian away from Talia when the kid is about 5 years old. He doesn’t like the way Talia and Ra’s are raising him, and he knows he can do better, so he takes the kid to his best teacher, Lady Shiva. Shiva likes Jason because he was an excellent student and lets him and Damian stay there while she continues to train Jason. However, Jason soon realizes that she’s pregnant with David Cain’s baby.
He’s there when Shiva gives birth to Cassandra and he helps Shiva take care of her for the first few weeks of her life before David Cain arrives at the cabin. Jason overhears David monologuing about how he’ll turn her into the perfect assassin and blah blah blah. He does not like that, not at all, so he intervenes. This Jason has done a lot more training and is perhaps less affected by the Pit than canon Jason, I imagine, so he’s like one of the best fighters out there at that moment. He takes on Cain and miraculously, he wins. Shiva, who wasn’t really interested in having a baby, entrusts Cassandra’s care to Jason.
Jason, now with 6-year-old Damian and infant Cassandra returns to Gotham. It is, after all, where he grew up and he sort of wants to prove that he can raise ninja children in Gotham without turning them into child soldiers. He also starts a company, using Talia’s money, to help the Gotham PD. They research body armour, non-lethal weapons, communications equipment and secure internet solutions. He briefly makes an appearance in the news as the city’s latest big CEO, which has him paranoid for days, but when no bats come knocking, he starts to feel a bit more confident.
One day, Jason’s smoking a cigarette on the fire escape of his apartment while Damian and Cass are napping when he hears an argument going on in the apartment below his. He sneaks down and tries to see if everyone is okay, and as it turns out, everyone is not okay. There’s this little girl, a toddler, blonde hair, bright blue eyes, that’s wailing and bleeding from a small cut on her forehead.
Jason quickly calls the police, who take forever to get there. When they do arrive, Jason goes down to talk to them and see what’s going to happen with the kid. They tell him that she’ll probably be going into the foster system and then they leave. Jason stays up all night thinking about how shitty the system is and worrying about the kid, that the next day he goes to Gotham’s social services office and requests to take her in himself. Her name is Maia.
His request is approved, and all of a sudden Jason has three children. Damian starts school, Jason enrolls him at Gotham Academy, which turns out to be his first mistake. Because Tim Drake is in his final year of high school there, and the moment he sees Damian for the first time, he knows that he’s Bruce’s son. So Tim starts looking into his family and is shocked when he pulls up a picture of Damian’s so-called father. He goes to Bruce with this information right away and Bruce begins to do his own investigation.
This man, who looks shockingly like his dead son, runs a successful business, so Bruce sets up a meeting with him. Jason worries all week about this, but he goes through with it. After all, his company is actually helping the police significantly, and Bruce’s funding could help even more. When Bruce sees the man, it’s clear he’s wearing a fake nose piece and has taken lengths to disguise what he really looks like. But what strikes Bruce as odder is that Jason walks into his own office, half an hour late and with three children.
“Sorry, Mr. Wayne, had some problems at daycare,” Jason said in a terrible mimicry of Tom Cruise’s voice.
“No troubles, I understand that. I have three children of my own,” Bruce said while making direct eye contact with Jason.
Jason knew the jig was up and removed his nose, which Maia found hilarious. Damian is appalled that Jason gave up so easily and Cass remains asleep in a baby carrier strapped to Jason’s chest.
“Jay…” Bruce starts.
“Baba, do you want me to eviscerate him for you?” Damian asks.
Jason blinks, “No, Dami, what have I said about using violence? It’s the last resort.”
“Tt. Fine.”
“Jason… who are all these kids?” Bruce asked.
Damian once again took it upon himself to speak on Jason’s behalf. “I am Damian, this is my baba-” he pointed to Jason “-this is my little sister, Maia-” he pointed to the three-year-old girl holding Jason’s hand “-and this is my baby sister Cassandra.”
Jason felt a proud smile tug at his mouth. Damian loved his little sisters very much.
Jason could tell Bruce was confused, upset, angry, sad, happy, all of the above, so he decided to help the man out a bit.
“We can talk later, over dinner,” Jason suggested.
Bruce nodded, “Yes I’d… I’d like that.” Before everyone parted ways, Bruce put a hand on Jason’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes so Jason knew he meant it. “I don’t know how you’re standing in front of me right now, but I’ve missed you so much.”
Sometimes Bruce gets so hurt during patrol that he has to stay in the medbay for the night before being moved to his bedroom. Sometimes, his kids stay with him. It usually gives Bruce a headache.
In the middle of the night:
Tim: AHHHHHHHHH!
Bruce, shooting up from his restless sleep: Isbdsj. *He looked towards Tim and saw him crouched on top of the batcomputer.* Tim? Why are you screaming?
Dick, who was crouched on top of the batmobile, looking stricken: There's a fucking spider. Kill it B. Please.
Jason, lounging in a chair next to Bruce's bed: Oh stop being babies. Is it even that big?
Tim, nodding vigorously: Huge.
Duke: That's what she said.
Bruce, massaging his temples: Where's the spider?
Steph, sounding distressed: Don't hurt it!
Damian: Put it outside, Father. Do not kill it. *Dispite his insistance on the spider living, he was perched on Jason's lap, cautiously looking down at ground.*
Bruce wasn't allowed to leave the bed so he didn't know why they were asking him to remove the spider. When Bruce did try to get up Clark appeared out of nowhere and guided him back to the bed.
Clark: Go to sleep.
Bruce, grumbling: What do you think I was doing before?
Dick from his spot on top of the batmobile: Uncle Clark! There's a spider! Kill it with your heat vision!
Stephanie and Damian: NO!
Bruce: Please get rid of the spider, Kal. I cannot deal with this anymore. I'm tired.
Clark got rid of the spider. He then stayed the night to make sure the kids didn't need him for anything else. Bruce went back to sleep while Clark coaxed Tim and Dick from their perches. Damian was happy to stay in Jason's lap. Jason was having a grand old time, being the one who let out the spider in the first place. The very fake spider, might I add (yes, Clark knew. If he had said anything it would've just made it all worse. Believe him. Jason got some very hilarious blackmail photos from that night.
Clark, who has been in love with Batman for years: I think Catwoman's dating Batman.
Diana, the pinnacle of wing women: *nodding understandingly* And you want me to kill her.
Clark: Ye- wait what? No, of course not.
Diana, indifferent: I once covered for Robin while he was hanging out with Speedy instead of at home resting. I'm sure I could get him to shoot a poison dart at Catwoman when she least expects it. Jason would do anything for me.
Clark:
Diana, already planning: And Batman can't get mad because he loves Robin!
Roy: *Has just been cussed out and threatened by the kids of the Narrows that Jason protects, stood on the footpath just gaping at the now-empty spot in front of him.*
Jason, coming back over to his boyfriend after stepping away for literally four seconds: Roy?
Roy: I want a kid.
Jason, eyebrows furrowing as he scans Roy, making sure he wasn't dying: Roy, baby, you have a kid.
Roy: *Shakes his head.* No. I mean yeah, I love Lian so much and she will always be my little girl but I want a kid for us.
Jason: What- Roy, what brought this on?
Roy: *Turns back to look at where the kid that had such a love and protection for Jason had been standing.* I don't know.
Jason, the pieces clicking together: Baby. *He tilts Roy's head to look at him, mildly amused by all of this.* What did he say to you? (The reason Jason said 'he' was because he knew one of his kids had gone up to Roy and said something to warn him or scare him off. And, of course it was one of the boys because the girls wouldn't do that. They'd throw rocks and shit at him, sure, but not actively try to push Roy away from Jason. They knew he cared too much about Roy to even tip the scales.)
Roy: He said that you're their protecter but they were yours too. He said that if I were to hurt you then they'd get to me before the bats even knew about it. He was- fuck, Jaybird, he was so cute.
Jason: *Can't help but smile.* He threatened your life.
Roy, shaking his head: I don't care. I want that one. Can we have that one?
Jason: *Pauses but then smiles. He presses a kiss to the corner of Roy's mouth.* Whatever you want, baby.
Roy, eyes bright: Really? Because Tyler is so protective of you and he loves you so much and I just wanna rap in a blanket and love him.
Jason: *Freezes for a moment because he wasn't expecting Tyler to genuinely give Roy his real name.* He does. All of the kids do but Ty, he... He's had trouble. I try my best to give them good lives but I'm just one person.
Roy, nodding condescendingly: Ah yes because using daddy's money or his status is beneath you.
Jason, crossing his arms: You wanna play like that, Speedy?
Roy, groaning: No, stop. I swear to god, Jason-
*Jason cuts him off with a kiss because Roy's so pretty when he's annoyed and Jason was having trouble not kissing him before when he was talking about kids because Tyler meant so much to Jason and yes of course he wants to have a kid with Roy- and an added bonus of giving that 4-year-old a good life to enjoy? Have him be able to live in their house but also be able to stay with the rest of the Narrows' kids whenever he wanted or whenever he missed them? Jackpot. Jason really got lucky, didn't he?*
Part 53! We're just gonna ignore how it's been around two weeks since the last (non-joke) post... oops? We're just gonna blame that on the... uh... totally real and not a joke cease and desist I got. Yup. Toootally.
(Anyways, thanks to @genya-luvr for the question!)
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
Hey guys, so I may or may not have gotten a cease and desist letter from DC... allegedly. It is for this reason that this twitter au will shift focus away from DC characters to my own original characters that I have been developing for a while. Thank you to everyone who has supported me this far, and I hope that you'll continue to support the new turn that this blog takes!