falling down, i'm falling down,

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falling down, i'm falling down,

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HI DAWNIE

HIII BLUEEEE

how are you omg <33333 dawn.replies 2h0gi blue 💙

did i make a mistake?

...........................................................................................................................................so he like introduced me to his close friends and everything. that means he likes me right? or why would he put up with someone whos not conventionally attractive in any norm. and i dont mean that in a self demeaning way. ik im not pretty in the standard norm so it as alr a surprise to know he liked me back yk? why am i worried so much?he introduced me to his friends. whenever we go on dates we do well together albeit were a bit awkward which is TOTALLY normal for a first relationship. we both dont know what to do and since its exam season we cant see each other enough. i guess its even more painful cuz ik hes at a distance where i can see him if i wanted to but stupid rules and timings dont allow me ok so speaking her has given me some clarity which is nice im glad i came back to good ol tumblr *here i have been quite harsh on him with my expectations (ive mever said anything to him tho. just all in my head) and even his friends have said he generally speaks in a very toneless manner when he's texting so its not just ne yeah this is kk everything will be fine it will right? god wont screw one more thing i care about dearly right?dawn.txt

did i make a mistake?

sigh dawnie crush issues in the tags so yeah fair warning ...........................................................................................................................................idk man I just. i feel like instead of getting closer weve grown more distant ever since he asked me out and its killing me man i dont wanna be hurt. im so fragile rn and just starting to heal from the years of trauma i faced in my family. when i try to talk about any issue i have to him he just. ignores the text or gives me a very dry response which hey. im not trying to say u should listen to my issues all the time. i get that some people dont want to. but i would just much rather have someone tell me that directly yk? just a hey i dont do well with rants. but the thing is he said hes fine with them. but then when i get nothing to address it i just. i feel hurt. like... ive started to wonder if hes just keeping the relation for namesake at this point but ik that isnt true. weve only been dating 2 weeks or so i shouldnt judge so soon. but man its hard to not overthink ive always been conditioned to do that. ive always been super excited when he plans a date (which he doesnt even call a date) but when i try to plan smth its always that he has some other plan to attend to which again i get it im not the jealous date who asks her s/o to be for her every waking moment but yk it does hurt and i feel instead of just letting it bottle up its better to admit it.i tried to ask him to get cotton candy once and he said wed go the next day and then he forgot. never asked me a time or anything. i didnt think of it much cuz hed gone to meet a friend outside the city and he mustve been tired. yesterday i asked him again and he said he was again going outside the city to meet his 12th grader friend. man am i jealous of that girl who gets to spend more time with the guy who asked me out than ive collectively spent with him and no i dont mean this in a toxic way like “oh hes meeting other girls he shouldnt do that” i just. man i pictured so much out of my first relationship. and i got nothing. not one thing out of it. i guess it makes sense cuz my love language is mostly physical touch and u cant really do that in a campus in India. and its also wrong of me to hold him to such high standards of a perfect relationship when the guy himself has been in one for the first time (i assume?) but like i said id rather not try to hide my emotions and express them out openly.theres still so much more about this that i feel wrong but the thing is its confusing cuz i feel like the two years of torture in my house has made it so that the trauma from never hearing i love you wnd words of affirmation from my parents has been reflecting off this place.its wrong of me to do this but i expected everything that i couldnt recieve to be fulfilled in a relationship and i now realise how stupid i was yk? cuz its wrong of me to put such harsh expectations on him like that. i feel like such a shallow person for getting depressed over a relationship that has just been going for 1 week theres also the thing where he generally seemed more excited to talk to me before? and now i just get the dryest responses ever out of which no conversation can be built. and again im not expecting him to be online and respond immediately but a thoughtful response goes a long way. again ik im being so harsh on him cuz its his first time too and he must be facing the same awkwardness im facing but jesus. i ok my tags are over im continuing in a reblog

sigh

like any major decision in life u tend to question if u made the right choice i mean ive been hurt so many times already by my family by people I thought were friends ... i dont wanna be hurt again it took me a lot of fucking time to get out of that toxic space of a home and rebuild my relationship with my mothrr i dont want to go through that again what if im making the wrong choice dawn.txt

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HE SAID HE LIKES ME 😭😭😭IM GOING TO S O B omg im literally blushing so hard rn crying sobbing throwing up my stomach literally has butterflies this is the best day ever dawn.txt

What are the first three tags that come up when you type in ‘fucking’?

no fucking way lol rb

Fuck I think I have a major crush

god ive never felt so happy about someone before today i was depressed and self conscious and he made me forget in 2 seconds he's so sweet also i finally met him and hes adorable help whenever we text each other good night i wanna say love u but like im p sure that crosses the line 😭really sucks tho im very out of league i doubt this will ever be more than a crush but hey i can dream for now dawn.txt also his personality is so sweet my heart pains when i talk to him

I have a question

how do u know if you have a crush on someone cuz im experiencing some feelings and idk how to sort them ughh this is why i hate feelings dawn.txt

You ever see a take so utterly ridiculous you just wanna jump off a cliff cuz you’ve lost hope in humanity

i just heard my roommate say. “there are no indians in this world that dont know english and the ones who dont know are just pretending”like honey.sweetie.are u chronically ill??are u mentally stable?is everything ok?dawn.txt

3 am pukes are not fun

food poisoning is not fun

gosh yesterday was horrible vommitted three more times after that lmao im better now though but im still very tired dawn.txt

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