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Important: I support proship. Just block me if you want, because I'm not going to engage in discourse with you
Hello! I'm Zin: 23, she/it, bisexual. This blog is a whole mish mosh of whatever is catching my attention atm, although often that will be Harry Potter, Dan and Phil, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer related. Have a nice visit :)
jegulus & wolfstar microfic — fluff, Remus’ POV — word count: 628
note: this is for @starchaser-has-my-heart who asked for James and Remus's reaction to Sirius' (and Reg's) antics in "Rookstar Raccoon", it can be read as a sequel or as a standalone
The three boys were sprawled across the Potters’ backyard lawn, sunbathing and working through their second cup of coffee for the day, when Effy appeared in the doorway holding a letter.
“You got mail, James,” she said with her usual smile, handing it to her son, who accepted it with lazy fingers and zero urgency. “Monty and I have to run an errand. Call me if anything happens, alright?” she added, brushing James’s cheek with the back of her hand.
“Alright, Mum,” James replied nonchalantly as he tore open the envelope.
“And don’t make anything happen,” she called over her shoulder, catching up with her husband at the porch steps. There was a mischievous sparkle in her eye, more teasing than stern.
“Yes, Mum!” the three boys chorused in unison, grinning. It was the kind of promise none of them had any real intention of keeping.
Remus watched the couple disappear into the house, then turned back to his friends. Peter had already taken the letter and was reading it silently, his face lighting up with barely contained laughter, while James stared at what looked like a small photograph, absolutely transfixed.
“Who’s it from?” Remus asked, curiosity finally getting the better of him.
James swallowed thickly and muttered without looking up, “Padfoot.”
That name alone was enough to send a jolt of anticipation through Remus’s chest. They’d barely heard a thing from Sirius since the summer holidays had started—never a good sign. “Is he okay?”
“He says they had to go to one of those hellish, stuck-up parties, but—” Peter leaned over James’s shoulder and let out a low whistle, eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s… interesting.”
Remus felt a ripple of anxiety spike through him. If Peter found it hilarious, it was probably ridiculous. But James—James looked like he’d been stunned into silence and that was never a good sign.
Peter finally seemed to clock Remus’s increasingly fidgety state. “He’s fine, Remus,” he said with an eye roll. “Actually, Pads found a way to entertain himself. You might want to see the photo he sent.”
Remus didn’t hesitate. He reached out and swiped the photo clean out of James’s hands. None of this made any sense, it was simply absurd.
“Oi!” James groaned, blinking like he’d just been pulled out of a dream.
Then Remus saw it.
The photo.
Sirius and Regulus Black, shoulder to shoulder and dressed to the nines, were raising their champagne glasses looking directly into the lens—straight at him—with flirtatious smirks and a level of intensity that practically sizzled.
Two pairs of beautiful icy grey eyes, framed by charcoal black.
Merlin's saggy left testicle, were they wearing eyeliner?
Remus felt his face go up in flames. “They look very…” He trailed off, unable to land on anything remotely appropriate for referring to his best friend—or his best friend’s brother.
“Hot,” Peter supplied without a hint of shame. “The word is hot. H-O-T.” He nudged James, grinning. “Don’t you think, Prongs?”
Remus forced himself to look away from the photo to look at his friend, who was still oddly quiet. Suspiciously so.
James’s face was bright red, eyes wide, fixed on the back of the photo that Remus was holding as if it would disappear if he took his eyes off it.
Remus narrowed his eyes, instinctively tightening his grip on the photo. James hadn't moved—yet—but there was a look in his eye that screamed give it back.
And Remus was absolutely prepared to fight him for it.
Peter elbowed him again. “Oi, Prongs!”
“Ugh?” James blinked, clearly too far gone.
“I said Sirius looked hot,” Peter repeated, now barely keeping his laughter in.
James nodded distractedly. “Mm, yeah, he looks hot too.”
Peter snorted. “Merlin, you’re about to get a nosebleed, mate. Pull yourself together.”
It started at breakfast.
At first, nobody noticed anything unusual about Sirius Black striding into the Great Hall. He was always excessively confident, a walking spectacle, so the way he smirked and carried himself wasn’t particularly different from any other day.
No, the problem—the mystery, rather—began when he sat down at the Gryffindor table, grabbed a piece of toast, and turned his head just enough for the light to catch on the unmistakable dark hickeys along his neck.
There was a beat of silence as the realization sank in. Then, whispering.
Marlene nearly dropped her goblet of pumpkin juice. “Merlin’s beard.”
Lily blinked at him. “Are those—”
“—hickeys?” Mary finished, staring.
James, seated across from his best friend, immediately choked on his tea. “What the bloody hell happened to you?”
Sirius, the bastard, just smirked. He grabbed a fork, twirled it between his fingers, and shrugged. “Oh, you know. Had an eventful night.”
“With who?!” James practically shouted.
At that, Sirius only gave a particularly self-satisfied grin.
And just like that, the entire table was invested.
Theories began flying before breakfast was even over.
By the time the Gryffindors returned to the common room, a full-fledged investigation had begun. James was leading the charge, determined to uncover the identity of Sirius’ mysterious suitor.
A large piece of parchment had been tacked up over the fireplace. At the top, written in bold letters:
"WHO SNOGGED SIRIUS BLACK?"
Below it, Peter was furiously scribbling down notes as people shouted theories from across the room.
Marlene crossed her arms. “It has to be someone from another House. We would have known.”
“But where did it happen?” Lily asked, examining the hickeys with an investigative squint. “Dorms? Common room? Astronomy Tower?”
James rubbed his chin, looking entirely too serious about the matter. “Maybe it was a secret rendezvous?”
Sirius, sprawled out lazily on one of the couches, looked absolutely delighted by all the attention. “Mmm, yes. Very scandalous.”
James pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You’re enjoying this.”
Sirius grinned. “Oh, immensely.”
Remus, sitting beside him with a book open in his lap, let out a dramatic sigh. “This is the dumbest thing you lot have done in a while.”
James ignored him, turning to the room. “Alright, suspects. Who have we seen Sirius flirting with recently?”
A few people shouted names.
“Hufflepuff seventh-year?”
“No, she’s dating someone.”
“What about that Ravenclaw with the blue streak in her hair?”
Sirius made an offended noise. “Ravenclaws? James, please.”
James crossed his arms. “Well, someone did that to you, and I’m going to figure out who.”
Sirius propped his chin in his hand, feigning boredom. “Best of luck, mate.”
Remus turned a page in his book, biting back a smirk.
By lunchtime, the investigation had spread beyond Gryffindor.
Over at the Ravenclaw table, people were whispering, glancing over at Sirius like he was some kind of grand unsolved puzzle. Hufflepuffs had a betting pool running (Marlene had put five Galleons on it being a Slytherin).
Even some of the Slytherins were side-eyeing him with mild curiosity.
James, bless him, was still running full-speed ahead.
“I know it wasn’t anyone in Gryffindor,” he muttered to Peter as they walked toward Charms. “No one here would have been able to keep it quiet.”
“What if it was someone under a Glamour Charm?” Peter suggested.
James stopped in his tracks, eyes going wide. “Wormtail, you genius. That explains why we haven’t figured it out yet!”
Peter puffed up proudly.
Remus, walking just behind them, rolled his eyes. “You’re both absolutely insufferable.”
Sirius, walking beside him, chuckled. “You’re just mad because you’re not part of the fun, Moony.”
Remus gave him a look. “Oh, I’m plenty entertained.”
By dinner, James had lost his mind.
After an entire day of hunting for clues, interrogating people, and even bribing Peeves to spill any secrets (which resulted in nothing but Peeves singing a very inappropriate limerick about Sirius), James had hit a dead end.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS,” he groaned, slamming his head down on the Gryffindor table. “IT’S IMPOSSIBLE.”
Sirius, cutting into his steak, smirked. “Told you.”
James sat up, looking like a man on the verge of an existential crisis. “I don’t understand! We know it happened last night, we know it must’ve been someone in the castle, but there’s no record of where you went—”
Lily patted his shoulder. “Maybe you should accept that you’re never going to figure it out.”
James gasped. “I refuse.”
Meanwhile, Remus sat in an armchair, flipping through Advanced Defensive Spells with an expression of deep, exaggerated boredom. “This is ridiculous.”
“It is not,” James shot back. “This is serious.”
Remus snorted. “Yes, very Sirius.”
James ignored him. “We have to consider possible suspects.”
Marlene tapped her chin. “What if—hear me out—it’s someone we’d never expect?”
Remus didn’t even glance up. “Like me?”
The room erupted in laughter.
“You?” James wheezed. “Remus, mate, no offense, but you are the last person on earth who’d be caught dead snogging Sirius Black.”
Remus hummed, turning a page. “Right.”
It took approximately ten more minutes of chaotic theorizing before Sirius himself finally strutted in. “Still on about my love life?”
“Yes,” James said immediately. “And we will solve this mystery.”
Sirius just smirked, plopping onto the couch and draping himself across Remus’ lap. “Good luck with that.”
Remus, without missing a beat, ran a casual hand through Sirius’ hair.
James, in the middle of hypothesizing a dramatic secret romance with a Beauxbatons student, froze.
His eyes flicked to Sirius. Then to Remus. Then back to Sirius.
Then, something clicked.
His gaze snapped to Remus, who was—suspiciously—very focused on his book. Too focused.
And then James thought back—back to all the times Remus had dismissed the investigation, the way Sirius kept glancing at him, the way he always seemed mildly amused whenever James was running in circles trying to solve the mystery.
His jaw dropped.
He pointed a shaking finger between the two of them. “No. NO.”
“Oh my God,” James whispered.
Sirius grinned, positively delighted.
James looked betrayed. “IT WAS YOU?!”
Remus finally glanced up from his book, arching a brow. “You just figured that out?”
Marlene choked on her pumpkin juice. Lily clapped a hand over her mouth. Peter looked horrified at how obvious it had been all along.
Sirius, stretching again, nudged Remus’ cheek with his nose. “Told you they’d be slow.”
James made an inhuman noise of frustration. “YOU LET ME RUN AN ENTIRE INVESTIGATION—”
“I found it entertaining.”
“HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?!”
Sirius nuzzled into Remus’ neck, voice annoyingly smug. “Long enough.”
Remus just smirked and turned another page.
hypnotize (march 27), @black-brothers-microfic — regulus & sirius black microfic — fluff — word count: 722
They sat cross-legged on the floor of the old greenhouse at the summer villa, facing each other. Sirius was diligently tying a sickle to a piece of string while Regulus watched with a frown.
“You do realize this is totally unfounded, right?” the younger Black asked for what had to be the thousandth time.
“It’s an ancient technique, Reggie. There’s millennia of scientific evidence to back it up,” Sirius replied, not even bothering to look up. He was far more interested in making sure the coin was securely attached to the string than getting dragged into another one of Regulus's tedious debates.
Regulus snorted. “And you read about it in one of your Muggle leisure magazines—”
“Aha!” Sirius announced triumphantly, ignoring his brother completely. His homemade pendulum was ready.
Regulus sighed as Sirius started swinging the coin between them. “It just doesn’t make sense. You really believe someone can enter a trance with just a coin, a few sentences, and no magic involved? It’s absurd.”
“Come on, Reggie, don’t be a spoilsport,” Sirius coaxed, even though he didn’t have much faith in Muggle hypnosis himself. But if he admitted that out loud, Regulus might refuse to participate, and honestly, they had nothing better to do. “Let’s just do it for fun.”
Regulus huffed. “And why am I the guinea pig?”
“Because, dear Reggie, this is my idea.” And, he thought, whether it works or not, it’ll be hilarious to watch your reaction.
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Alright, let’s get started.” Sirius took one last glance at the magazine, cleared his throat, and began gently swinging the pendulum as Regulus watched, looking deeply unimpressed.
After a few seconds, Sirius lowered his voice to a slow, deliberate drawl: “You’re hearing the sound of my voice…”
Regulus snorted, barely suppressing a laugh.
“For fuck's sake, Reg! Can you cooperate a little?” Sirius snapped.
“I can’t help it, that sounded ridiculous,” Regulus shot back, smirking. “so serious.”
Sirius groaned. “Just… stop thinking and follow my instructions.” He swung the coin again, determined to hypnotize his little shit of a brother.
“Look at the coin carefully. Breathe slowly. Let my words wash over you. Everything is calm here. It’s just you and me.”
Sirius watched as his younger brother’s body gradually relaxed, his breathing evening out.
“You are safe. You feel relaxed. Your eyes feel heavy.”
Excitement bubbled in Sirius's stomach as Regulus’s eyelids fluttered. Was it actually working?
“When I count to three, you will drop your barriers. One… two… three.”
Silence.
Sirius studied his brother’s face. Regulus looked… serene. No frown, no skepticism, just barely open eyes as if he were drifting off.
“Introduce yourself,” Sirius instructed cautiously.
“I’m Regulus Arcturus Black,” Regulus replied instantly, his voice clear and steady. “Second son and heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. A Slytherin.”
Sirius wrinkled his nose. That was painfully formal, even for Regulus. “Tell me, honestly, what you think of me.”
“Foolish. Irreverent. Outrageous. Arrogant,” Regulus listed with unsettling ease.
Sirius scowled, about to cut him off, when Regulus continued, “Brilliant. Bold. Funny… and I love you.”
Sirius’s mouth fell open. Oh. Oh, this was definitely working. Otherwise, Regulus would never admit that.
“Raise both hands and meow like a cat!”
Regulus did so without hesitation.
Merlin.
Sirius barely held back a cackle. Muggles were geniuses. This was incredible.
Then, a new idea struck him. The Ultimate Test.
"Tell me who your crush is."
"James Potter."
Sirius paled, completely stunned. "What... Who is your crush, Reggie?" he asked again in a small voice.
Regulus remained expressionlessly still. “James Potter.”
Sirius felt like someone had dumped a cauldron of ice water over him. James? His James?!
He scrambled to his feet, clutching the coin like it had personally betrayed him. “No. Nope. Absolutely not. That’s bullshit. It’s broken. You’re lying. This is a scam.”
Regulus didn’t react, still staring blankly ahead.
“Wake up, Regulus!” Sirius barked, voice slightly shrill. “WAKE UP WAKE UP ONE TWO THREE!!” He was so flustered he didn’t even notice the faint twitch at the corner of Regulus’s mouth. “I am NOT dealing with this. Absolutely not.”
Regulus sat there, impassive, as Sirius turned on his heel and stormed toward the door, muttering angrily. “This is bullshit!”
Then, Regulus blinked, stretched lazily, and smirked.
“Well, I told you so.”
