when you're a shapeshifter i bet letting yourself slowly fall off a rooftop only to turn into a bird and fly away feels soooo good

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

manhandling is so fun like sure u can put me over there i don’t mind

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

stan beans

Whoever wrote that Vanguard message did so with shaking hands, between sobs & swigs of bourbon straight from the bottle.

They're right, though. Now is exactly the wrong time to make dramatic investment moves. Everybody's shit is doing the same thing; unless you need your retirement money in the next twelve months or whatever, you're better off leaving it alone and waiting for the eventual correction. Like, this is not a comforting lie, this is good advice!

Submission from @etchetcetera

“Oh my god, he’s so scary,” I say as I kick my feet up in the air and giggle like an idiot.

snoopy of the day

They're having a 2 for 1 Who gives a Fuck special at the Shove It up your Ass store

Wow I really am out here rawdogging life huh, no prescription drugs no nothing just me, my weed and cigarettes and vaping and liquor and jacking off and eating food and cutting myself and burning myaelf, and gambling, and my coke zero !