Jump to content

Talk:Hurricane Gil (1983)

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Hurricane Gil (1983)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 03:25, 27 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hello YE, I will be review this article.

  • "Hurricane Gil was the first of several storms to affect Hawaii during the 1983 Pacific hurricane season." - "Storms" impact Hawaii very often. Thus, it would be much better to say "tropical cyclones" in this case.
  • "Hurricane Gil originated from a tropical depression that first formed near Clipperton Island in late July." - Three things here. First, you should probably just say "Gil" instead of "Hurricane Gil" because it has the same wording as the beginning of the previous sentence. Second, the word "first" is not necessary because saying that may simply that it formed a "second" time. Third, don't say "late July", insert the actual date, which was July 23.
  • "However, Gil began to re-intensity on August 1; it became a tropical storm for the second time that day." - Wait, so Gil was a tropical storm twice in one day? Also, "began to re-intensity" is bad grammar. You could probably live without the semicolon, too. For example, "However, Gil began to re-intensify on August 1, becoming a tropical storm again later that day.
  • "The remnants of the storm were moved into the West Pacific late on August 6 and were last noted the next morning while passing south of Midway Island." - Isn't the remnants of a tropical cyclone not mentioned in the lede (with only a few exceptions, such as Hurricane Sandy)?
  • "Due to fears of a repeat of Hurricane Iwa, officials issued many" - You don't necessarily have to do this but you should probably mentioned the year that Iwa occurred, since the year would further emphasize the importance of preparations for this storm.
  • "On Ohau, a power outage was reported, affecting 2,400 customers." - Wait, there was only 1 power outage, but 2,400 people were affected? Re-word it to, "On Ohau, numerous power outages were reported, which affected 2,400 customers." By the way, "Oahu" is misspelled and leads to a disambiguation page.
  • "three crewman were slightly injured." - "crewman" ---> "crewmen"
  • "The seventh tropical cyclone of the season originated from a tropical depression that developed during the afternoon hours of July 23 about 200 mi (320 km) north of Clipperton Island." - Is it unknown what type system spawned the tropical depression (i.e. area of disturbed weather, low pressure area, tropical wave, etc.)?
  • "the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center (EPHC) upgraded the storm into Tropical Storm Gil at 0000 UTC on July 24." - "upgraded the storm into Tropical Storm Gil" is bad grammar, because "into" implies that the it moved inside something or somewhere (it's not like Gil moved into the Central Pacific basin). You may also want to find a substitute for the first occurrence of the word "storm", such as "system", "depression", etc. My suggestion here would be: "the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center (EPHC) upgraded the depression to Tropical Storm Gil at 0000 UTC on July 24."
  • "Early on July 27, the storm attained its peak intensity of 90 miles per hour (140 km/h)." - Abbreviate miles per hour to mph. Also, the infobox says that 90 mph is 150 km/h, not 140 km/h; one or the other is correct, but not both.
  • "the low moved west-northwest over a pool of slightly warmer waters west of 140th meridian west;" - You might wanna replace "pool" with "region" or something similar, because it could have been someone's swimming pool in Honululu. :P
  • "well-defined atmospheric circulation circulation, Gil was still a tropical depression" - Double double word word :P
  • "Due to fears of a repeat of Hurricane Iwa, advisories and warnings for the main Hawaiian Islands were issued by meteorologists and officials," - Was there specific agency/agencies that issues these advisories and warnings, or could it have been like the meteorologists on my local news channel?
  • "Dozens of tourists were stung via jellyfish along two beaches in Ohau. In all, 50 people were injured, none serious." - How is this relevant? Did the rough seas make the jellyfish more active and sting people? By the way, you misspelled "Oahu".
  • "Locally gusty winds were recorded on Ohau" - Misspelled "Oahu" again
  • "Rough surf pounded the the northeastern facing beaches of that island, as well as the northeastern side of Ohau." - "Oahu" is misspelled, again
  • "A sea level pressure of 1,011 mb (29.9 inHg) was also recorded." - Are the pressure observations really necessary. I mean it's not like atmospheric pressure causes damage, unlike winds, rainfall, and storm surge.
  • "Later in the hurricane season, the state was affected by Tropical Storm Narda and threatened by Hurricane Raymond." - Relevancy?
  • "Meanwhile, a peak pressure of 1,014 mb (29.9 inHg) was reported." - Again, why is the atmospheric pressure needed here?
  • This is it for now, but I may have more later.--12george1 (talk) 03:25, 27 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]