Ozzy Osbourne used to poop in hotel guests' shoes

If the only thing you like more than ’80s hair metal are wild and crazy stories about ’80s hair metal bands doing insane things both on and off the stage, then you are the target audience for Nöthin’ But a Good Time: The Uncensored Story of ’80s Hair Metal — a docuseries of that golden era when Aqua Net and fishnets took over the world of rock ‘n’ roll.

Premiering Sept. 17 on Paramount+, the three-part series is chock full of hard to believe tales of debauchery and destruction. What kind of tales, you may ask? Tales like when recently deceased Great White singer Jack Russell shot a drug dealer’s cleaning lady on a robbery gone horribly wrong. Or when Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach tackled an airplane pilot… mid-flight. Or a deep dive into the chainsaw-adorned codpiece collection of W.A.S.P.’S Blackie Lawless.

It's all solid gold. But our favorite story of all concerns the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne — and we’ve got the exclusive clip of what went down, and we mean that at least semi-literally.

Well before he became a reality TV celebrity due to his inability to open a trash bag, the godfather of heavy metal was breaking down musical walls as the voice of Black Sabbath. And the tales of his time on tour as a solo artist in the 1980s — whether it be biting the head off a live bat, or snorting a line of live ants — are legendary. Well, it’s time to add another epic story into the canon.

This one comes on Nöthin’ But a Good Time courtesy of Ratt singer Stephen Pearcy. “We’d hang with Ozzy after the gigs at the hotel,” says Pearcy in the clip, which can be watched above… and already that first part of the quote should have you nervous.

“So, Ozzy had this crazy idea…” Again, be afraid. Be very afraid.

Pearcy then lays out the logistics of Ozzy’s brilliant scheme, which seems to involve the fancy five-star hotel tradition of guests leaving out shoes in the hallway to be shined. “You know in nice hotels, you put your shoes out, have them shined,” Pearcy explains. “And ‘I’ll wear nice shoes in the morning.’”

And then, enter Ozzy. “So he goes hobbling down the hall,” Pearcy recounts. “And he literally pulls his pants down and he takes a big s--- in these shoes, right? He just had this laugh about it, like ‘Ha ha!’”

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Yes, Ozzy Osbourne was pooping in freshly shined hotel guests’ shoes, which manages to be both hilarious and disgusting at the same time. “They’re going to wake up, guys are going to go out to grab his shoes and they just go MUSH!” Pearcy laughs. “You know, Ozzy mush.”

The Ratt singer then completes the story in the most appropriate manner possible: “And so, anyway, dude was f---ing nuts.”

To see the madness for yourself in animated form, check out the exclusive NSFW clip above, and then tune in for a heaping helping of other heavy metal madness when Nöthin’ But a Good Time: The Uncensored Story of ’80s Hair Metal premieres Sept. 17 on Paramount+.