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The Etsy Aesthetic

These images were not chosen based on the items listed for sale but for how well the photos represent the image Etsy corporate is promoting these days. Even if you design and make an awesome product, or find and sell the coolest vintage, if you want to get featured on Etsy you have to follow their aesthetic. Sometimes with hilarious results. At least, in my opinion.
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Life During Wartime
coffee makes me poop travel mug with blue lettering on the front and black lid
Etsy Aesthetic
Work Mug
Happy Birthday Gift
Mugs Funny
Gift For Coworker
Gifts For Coworkers
Novelty Gifts
Travel Mugs
Travel Mug
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Coffee Makes me Poop Plastic travel mugs funny Crap by Mugsleys
a white coffee mug that says coffee makes me poop
Boyfriend Easter Basket
Spouse Gifts
Christmas Gifts For Husband
Birthday Gifts For Husband
Funny Birthday Gifts
Super Gifts
Funny Christmas Gifts
Christmas Gifts For Him
Christmas Gift For Dad
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Funny Coffee Mug Coffee Makes Me Poop Ceramic Coffee by JandAWares
there is a silver necklace with a heart and an anchor on it in a box
Diy Gifts For Sisters
Christmas Gift Sister
Silver Initial Bracelet
Sister Gifts Diy
Initial Bracelet Silver
Gifts For Sisters
Bday Gifts For Him
Silver Infinity Bracelets
Jewelry Box Design
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Fractured American dialect English (using possessive punctuation when a plural is meant) becomes part of the fancy branded packaging so beloved in the Etsyverse.
Newly crafted necklace mendaciously backdated into vintageville. Not vintage, but classic Etsyverse style. Buckle Necklace, Vintage Belt Buckles, Craft Jewelry, Vintage Belt, Upcycled Vintage, Belt Buckle, Belt Buckles, Jewelry Crafts
Buckle Necklace
Vintage Belt Buckles
Craft Jewelry
Vintage Belt
Upcycled Vintage
Belt Buckle
Belt Buckles
Jewelry Crafts
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Newly crafted necklace mendaciously backdated into vintageville. Not vintage, but classic Etsyverse style.
Nothing vintage about this one, except its Etsystory. Handmade Skirts, Cheer Skirts, Handmade Gift, Trending Outfits, Handmade Gifts, Unique Jewelry, Clothes
Handmade Skirts
Cheer Skirts
Handmade Gift
Trending Outfits
Handmade Gifts
Unique Jewelry
Clothes
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Nothing vintage about this one, except its Etsystory.
Wear damaged bag, decorated with hand painted tree by shop owner, is Etsyverse vintage. Hand Painted Tree, Shop Owner, Curated Vintage, Tree Painting, Duffel Bag, Tree Of Life, Louis Vuitton Damier, Etsy Seller
Hand Painted Tree
Shop Owner
Curated Vintage
Tree Painting
Duffel Bag
Tree Of Life
Louis Vuitton Damier
Etsy Seller
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Wear damaged bag, decorated with hand painted tree by shop owner, is Etsyverse vintage.
an old fashioned typewriter sitting on top of a white pedestal next to a wall
Olivetti Typewriter
Writing Machine
Antique Typewriter
Cat Illustrations
Retro Living Rooms
Vintage Typewriters
Cats Illustration
Custom Painted
Writing Desk
This item is unavailable - Etsy
Only in the mendacious Etsyverse can items that are "vintage from the 1960s" be made to order when you purchase. Chosen by Etsy staff as the featured thumbnail for their Vintage Browse Typewriters. Altered vintage is better vintage on Etsy.
an old wooden cabinet with drawers and knobs
Bench Plans
Garage Work Bench
Diy Bench
Woodworking Bench
Work Table
Workbench
Diy Woodworking
Vintage Wood
Color Choices
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Well used vintage wood working table with the typical Etsyverse clashy color choice repaint job -- which just makes the unpainted areas look grubby and the painted areas look cheap. What's wrong with wood?
a wood and metal wall mounted clock on a wooden fence with an iron frame in the shape of a shield
Vintage Dressing Rooms
Cabin Lodge Decor
Outdoors Man
Farm Estate
Hunting Caps
Rustic Decoration
Ranch Farm
Cabin Lodge
Vintage Gun Rack Holder Rifle Weapon Hunting Cap Hat Hanging | Etsy
Put the words "valentine's day" in any listing, and Etsy's staff will curate it into Browse Valentine's themed décor..
an old wooden box sitting on top of a white bench next to a chair with the words schweink's dairy, inc written on it
Vintage Wine Rack
Paper Pom Pom
Vintage Skeleton Keys
Tissue Paper Pom Poms
Metal Rack
Vintage Wine
Wooden Crates
Milk Bottle
Antique Collection
Vintage Rustic Wood Dairy Crate Schwinks Dairy Meriden CT | Etsy
Featured by Etsy as a vintage wine rack.
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Custom wedding map
Small terrarium
Diy living room decor
Rustic wood crafts
Trending outfits
a candle is lit in an old bucket on a wooden shelf next to some tools
Smokey The Bear
Rusty Tin
Smokey The Bears
Fire Hazard
Tin Can
The Bear
Candle Holders
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Smokey the Bear weeps at this fire hazard.
a wooden box filled with lots of shiny ornaments
Making Out
Sparkle
Holidays
Design
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Nothing sparkles for the Holidays like an old item make out of cardboard.
a table topped with lots of books and decorations
A Duck
Holiday Entertaining
Serving Piece
Table Top
Table Decorations
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Why a duck? Because this is the Etsy version of an elegant and romantic collection of vintage serving pieces for your table.
there are many different glass bottles on the table
Ocean Life Photography
Reuse Recycle Upcycle
Tincture Bottles
Shell Display
Antique Glass Bottles
Creative Organization
Burlap Pillows
Old Bottles
Jar Vase
This item is unavailable | Etsy
Instant collection of 5 antique glass bottles by Pigeonatelier, $40.00
three vases with plants in them sitting on a window sill next to each other
Erlenmeyer Flask
Small Terrarium
Water Gardens
Garden Terrarium
Succulent Terrarium
A Desk
Crafty Craft
Glass Containers
Erlenmeyer Flask Terrarium 125ml Specimen Selaginella | Etsy
Erlenmeyer Flask Terrarium 125mL Specimen by Psychedelphia on Etsy, $16.00