For my sister....

Because sometimes the ones who you think will never leave are the ones who never return. Because most days the memories won't let my shattered heart mend. Because sometimes the remembering hurts more than trying to forget. Because, you were my best friend, my everything when I was littLe. We were all each other had for as long as I can remember. How can a shared a childhood full of dreams and laughter and sorrow and beauty, mean nothing to you now? Didn't we rise from the ashes together to build two separate lives intertwined almost as one? Our girls were more like sisters, and now strangers. Didnt we promise to never leave each others side? Or does it all mean so little to you now? How can you so carelessly dismiss our bond as sisters? After all that we survived to make it this far, you can just throw me away, dismiss me without a flicker of remorse or regret? You never even said goodbye. Does a lifetime full of such sweet memories not earn a sister at least a goodbye, and maybe even an explanation. Is the adoration and love and admiration I STILL hold dear for you and your precious, beautiful, amazing girls not enough? I love them as my own, as you once did mine. It doesnt matter. I love you. STILL. I LOVE YOU. Always have. Always will. No amount of time or distance will ever separate us in my soul and in my heart. In my heart, there is an empty space, where it shattered into a million pieces when you turned your back on us. Try as I may, the pieces never fit ever again. I have tried to pick up the pieces and move on, but without the missing pieces of you and the girls, I will never be whole again. I miss you. I miss the girls. We all do. Courtney is so young that she doesn't even remember you, and that breaks my heart. How could someone who once was such a vital part of my life just walk away? Please, if youre reading this know: You and the girls are loved beyond words, adored more than you can imagine, and missed more terribly than words can express. The grief and sorrow at the loss of our bond are my companions now, they go with me and threaten to overtake me. Memories keep me afloat, and a hope that one day we will be reunited. I love you, big sister. Whatever it is, I'm sorry for it. I will glady make amends for it, just tell me what to do and I will! I don't know what to say other than to tell you that we can work it out. There's no problem love can't fix, if you're willing. My best friend, my sister. Call me. Please. 903 394 9328. PS: I thought you might want to know that our mother is dying. They have given her between 6 months and a year to live. Do what you like with that info, not saying you should call, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you. I wish you nothing but the best, and pray that you and the girls have beautiful lives. We mis a you, Aunt Nanny.