fix: Only send tailnet nodes updates with preferred DERP #7387
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c.f. #7295 although not a complete fix
Should improve stability and performance, by skipping futile tailscale/wireguard updates when we don't have a PreferredDERP yet.
Also, our HA coordinator is only planned to be eventually consistent, so not sending useless updates should lessen the impact of stale data while we are waiting around for "eventually" to happen.