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mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately
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are you uncomfortable from your hands being dry? if you apply lotion, you can instead be uncomfortable with how greasy they are now. Subscribe for more tips!
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Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like “If you’d just give up tea and coffee and sugar and–” im like I’ll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don’t like hearing that. Particularly dentists
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you used to be able to play games on cartoonnetwork.com … now every company’s website wants to give you spyware and spread corporate propaganda but I REMEMBER when you could play a BEN 10 adventure game in-browser without so much as giving away your e-mail. people’s heads should be on pikes for this
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I love messing with these annoying accounts
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when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain
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idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol
One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine
scientist when you don’t take the medicine they developed to help your pain
