fucked and forgotten


01/04/2025
My beliefs on the death penalty.
following an essay from class i just completed, i felt the need to share why i despise solitary confinement. Have you ever been lonely? I know for a fact most of you dumb fucks have. If you truly know what that slow death feels like, then you'll understand what criminals given the good old "life scentence" feel. And really, its much more than just lonliness. Believe me. Ive probably stayed in the worst mental institutions there is! But back to the main topic here.. The purpose of solitary confinement is to keep you reflecting and to suffer. Punishment. To keep you away from the public you were a danger to in the first place. Depending on the severity of your crime, life behind bars, could be your fate. It is suffer, torture at its finest. No one to talk to, and sure as hell no one to care for you. Through your time in isolation, you'll eventually forget what it feels like to eperience a life. You will physically and emotionally go through the very slow stages of death itself. Even if some say "living is better than not living at all" in reference to capital punishment or a life scentence. I believe capital punishment is the better of these two. Would you rather die a slow and painful death? Or die a painless and short one? You'll be depraived of everything that really makes a life, a life. You will not be living.
03/26/2025
Social cues suck. Not only do they make society way too complicated, but they also make it way too hard to talk to someone without accidentally really fucking it up, or maybe oversharing a little much about that great frozen lazagna you had for dinner last night.. some things just arent normal. They make things awkward. But social norms really, really make make connecting more complex. Take this, Have you ever been asked if youre okay? You definitely have, but have you ever just straight up fucking lied about it? Its inhuman to be legitamently perfectly fine at any given time. Not how it works at all. There will always be something in the way. If you've lied, did you just lie so it wouldnt be awkward? Yeah. Obviously. Who would actually say they arent okay to a total stranger, or even a close friend? A pshycopath would. Because of course the person is going to fucking ask why next, and thats even worse. Looks like you ruined your shot! Good luck keeping those friends when now they think youre mentally dependant on them to the point they just leave you out of boredom. If you say you are anything besides 'good' to that casual question, it immediately ruins any possibly pleasant mood before it even starts. Everyone knows that those people definitely wouldnt care if they asked why anyway, because deep down people are selfish creatures. They do that shit where they pretend to care, but mentally think youre pathetic for struggling, even if they struggle themselves. Its natural for people to judge, and its also natural to want to talk about your issues. That why theres good old therapists. Go get one instead of ruining conversations with people. Put yourself first and dont overshare everything in your life.



01/05/2025
I fucking hate every day, but today is truly the worst there is. I cant live like this in this house, all alone. I really hate the school board, and everyone who got me into this mess. Every day is pure fucking despair. I dont think any of you guys understand how truly terrible and uninhabitable this condition I reside in is. Putrid, disgusting, same old shit I do every day. Have you ever been at such a loss? I really dont think you've felt this. I'm told all the time how they're happy im here now and finally gone. I cant do this anymore. But during my time I've realised, it's best not to let it take over. I am still fucking suffering and carrying an entire FUCKING BRAIN TUMOR of guilt, but life wont go on forever, even with how much we pray, and how much we bow to gods, it wont happen. We aren't going anywhere special, and we aren't different from each other. If you really look at it. Really fucking think about it. We are all going to hell no matter who. Whatever you believe in, whatever you do, who ever you are, theres no escaping it. We are all dying, and that is that. Nothing will prevent that and nothing will ease the blockage of a stopped heart. Make up for lost time while you can, because man, I really wish I damn could.

01/06/2025
In all honesty, dont be a good person. It never works out, and it will ALWAYS backfire. I used to be a lover of all things, I lived happily.. but as soon as you start meeting people and making friends. The anxiety starts coming back, and people will start taking advantage of you. Its total HELL being a nice person. Dont try it. Be your own type of person, because being the "always nice and friendly" type of cheery rainbow, will almost always lead you in the wrong direction in life. Just because of how much our society is totally fucked. Another thing I would like to mention in this entry is Elon Musk's neuralink. Are you guys REALLY SERIOUS using this product. It doesnt bring back eyesight. Elon Musk is the same guy from the news, the one on the trump rally. He works with the government, everyone knows this. And now youre putting chips in your retarded brains? I thought we've been dwelling the conspiracy theory that the government puts shit in us already at birth, so why are we making that sci-fi horror movie true?