can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??
a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.
no come back ma’am
*under my breath* underwater girlfriend
underwater wife
Underwater love of my underwater life
There are benefits to being a marine biologist
underwater girlfriend underwater wife underwater love of my underwater life underwater benefits to underwater studies turning underwater sharks into underwater buddies underwater lovers are the partly sharky sirens seen if you’ve achieved degrees in underwater science
[Transcription: A well-dressed fancy lady and man stand facing each other in an old-fashioned movie*
Woman: “And now you want me to teach you jiu jitsu.”
Man: “If you don’t mind, Miss Plum.”
Plum, loud and excitedly: “IT’LL BE A PLEASURE.”
*She rips his tuxedo jacket off his shoulders, grips him aggressively, and yeets him over her shoulder in a jiu jitsu martial arts fashion*
Man: *Clasping her arms a few seconds later while she looks coyly at him* “Now, let me see. Um. Let me do it to you.”
*He appears very concentrated, the camera shifts to her soft smile and romantic music begins to play, accentuating a mood that he is NOT picking up on*
“Now, let me see first of all I, um,- I pull this down.” *He pulls her cardigan off her shoulders, her collarbone now exposed and she likes it that way, she looks very obviously at his lips, like this lady has absolutely zero chill*
“Now I do this!” *He jilts her shoulders into them so their faces are centimeters away, she looks like she would like to eat his face and he is still very concentrated but in a giddy boy way*
Him: “Then I hold you close!”
Plum: “Closer.”
Him, confuzzled: “I beg your pardon?”
Plum: “Closer!! Close as you can!” *She is mentally having sex already*
Him: “Oh, yes.” *He searches her eyes for direction*
Him: “Now what do I do?”
*Miss Plum is absolutely beaming*
Plum: “Don’t you know?”
*She wants him to do things to her and he stands there mouth agape. You can see his one braincell struggling visibly in his hollow brain as realization of the century is dangling in front of him. He’s about to realize and then*
Him: “Of course! Now I apply the leverage!” *And he yeets her on to the floor*
*The music swells and fades, telling the audience that this man’s one braincell has failed him. Himbo of the century.*
when everyone stopped wearing lockets that was when it all went downhill. nobody even carries pictures of their beloveds cut into the shape of a heart anymore
no lie, the second half of this post really helped me put a different perspective on my life and greatly the decreased the anxiety i have about my life to come
doing my damnedest to free myself of the “just gotta get through this week” “only x more days til the weekend” mindset & learn to appreciate each day for whatever it is lest i be driven to madness
so what if tomorrows monday i have leftovers & maybe this week i will make soup. maybe ill see a cat. maybe each day will show me something worthwhile even if im tired & maybe i can enjoy it
if u are negative on this post im blocking u ! some of us are trying to get better
pine ridge is also currently experiencing extreme winter conditions that has resulted in the stranding and inaccessibility of many ndns. please consider for any reason you may have, but especially in the wake of james cameron’s disgusting and deplorable remarks about our people, assisting pine ridge and rosebud as we work to keep our people warm and fed. you can find several websites below which provide different assistance for both reservations!
