DO NOT speak to me while untouched by the veronicas is on

“Beric Dondarrion was handsome enough, but he was awfully old, almost twenty-two” Sansa III, A Game of Thrones

Characters with canon descriptions of their pubic hair:

-The Lannister Chucklefuck Trio (Cersei, Tyrion, Jaime), Osmund Kettleblack, Asha Greyjoy, Qarl the Maid, Taena Merryweather, Robert Baratheon, Arienne Martell, Daenerys (I'm pretty sure), almost certainly more.

Canon descriptions of how agriculture works with decades-long winters:

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there’s a lot of great options for the best conversations in asoiaf but the one at the start of game of thrones where robert insists that daenerys (13) should be murdered for existing and ned says ‘hey, that’s a child, what the fuck is wrong with you’ only for the subject of the conversation to change to jaime (when he was 17) and ned to be the one to say that jaime is a traitorous disgrace forever who robert can’t trust while robert says ‘he was just a boy, what are you even talking about’. that one is up there.

Iron Islander voice: Theon you [19 syllable dolphin noise slur] I see you came back WOKE and GAY and a WOMAN from us leaving you as a child prisoner to the guy with an 8 foot sword that makes you drag it around to executions in front of his screaming faced tree gods as a daily reminder that he can and will kill you (a child) just like he killed the rest of your family (some of which were also children). Did you have fun polishing his sword? I’ll bet. Did you write this letter yourself? Knowing there’s a one person literacy limit? Should we call you Theon the Reader, you reading fuck? And standing here in a jean jacket you bought yourself, may as well be sucking dick at old navy. You know who’s NOT woke or gay or a woman? Your sister Asha. Why can’t you be less gay and woke and a woman, like Asha? I bet she could run a democratic election because you know what isn’t gay Theon? Democracy

The children of the forest carving a face in a weirwood tree
by Chase Stone

eleven year olds need book series filled to the brim with violence and crime. it's like enrichment for them

the eggbetha romcom novella that exists in my mind is so good btw. the plot doesn’t matter dunk is stuck dealing with some altercation at raventree hall, bloodraven is probably involved. egg is a marriage-aged teen at this point (so like. 16) and he starts off whining to dunk about how he doesn’t understand why the mere presence of a pretty woman can make dunk act so differently 🙄 smh can you keep it in your pants. dunk threatens to clout him in the ear, you know the drill. then they meet lord blackwood’s teen daughter and egg leaves that interaction looking like this emoji 😵‍💫 contemplating many things about himself he didn’t know up until that point and dunk is like “:/ man i think i don’t like this girl. she was kinda mean to you [clueless]” egg sighs wistfully “yeah…”. and it’s a whole thing because she’s a lady and he’s supposedly just some dirty little squire boy. egg gets so in character roleplaying this dynamic that at the end he’s like oh nooooo how will lord blackwood ever let me marry his daughter and someone has to remind him. then he’s like oh yeah. yayyy problem solved 👍 the end