Avatar

writing purgatory

@anticidic / anticidic.tumblr.com

just a silly bsd writer obsessing over a few too many blorbos. also a meme/theory/headcanon poster.
Posts

Pinned

Avatar

» about me ♡

  • I am 18+!
  • Bluesky, Strawpage
  • I am up to chat at any time! My askbox/DMs are wide open. ✨
  • You can find my writing works on AO3: anticide
  • Most of what I write is mature content of a varying nature, as a forewarning.
  • I spend way too much time reading and writing about Bungo Stray Dogs. Especially BEAST.
  • I'm not particular about names, but Ant or Rosie are fine.
  • I love poetry and mystery/thriller novels!

» bsd related ♡

au ideas ⁃ beast skk ⁃ headcanons ⁃ in-universe thoughts ⁃ kitsunezai

» misc. ♡

asks ⁃ literature ⁃ memes ⁃ #mood ⁃ quotes ⁃ rambles

» writing ♡

  • I am accepting writing prompt requests! Feel free to check my prompt tag and send a ship.

fic talk ⁃ my fics ⁃ my writing ⁃ playlist ⁃ prompt tag

#pinned msg
Avatar

WIP Game!

Rules: you will be given a word. Then you share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word.

thank you for the tag @marichild ! my word is MILE 👀✨

M: “Maybe you’ll find your answer at the foot of the watchful guardian.”
I: “I don’t care if the entirety of Yokohama burns. I’m even willing to make this bet, just to prove that you are you, Chuuya, and that you’re human. You can either give up your chance to learn about your humanity and past or give it up for the city,” Dazai had said then, his voice as slimy and mischievous as Chuuya vividly remembered when they were still sixteen and in the middle of a war.
L: Like some great tragedy had befallen the village at some point in time in the past and now everyone’s desperately trying to cover it up. I count my days since I’ve been here as if I’m waiting to go back to Yokohama when I’m not. Home is here now. Just when I thought I got used to the quietness and being woken up by farm animals at the crack of dawn instead of by cars, I realized that I’m still not quite used to being out in rural Kyoto. I could hop on the train and be in the city within an hour—two hours, tops—but it’s not the same. It’s almost too quiet here.
E: Even in death, he did not smile.

(no pressure) tags with the word TULIP: @loulitzin @noapendragon @frankenjoly @bloodsherry @vivid-vices

#wip game#tag game#wanted to be a lil silly and use the word defenestrate#for whatever reason i have that word in my head#but then i ran through my head different kinds of flowers trying to pick out one that didn't have a repeating letter hehehe
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar
( a collection of magical realism starters. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post ♡ if you like, please consider supporting me through tips
  • "Did you notice how the flowers in the garden bloom in patterns that mimic constellations?"
  • "I swear, the painting in the hallway changes every time I look at it. Yesterday, it was a serene landscape. Today, there's a storm brewing."
  • "I met a man in the market who claims he can hear the whispers of trees. Do you think he's telling the truth?"
  • "The old librarian told me she’s been alive for over a hundred years, and she showed me a book that ages backward."
  • "Every time I play the piano, it feels like the notes are guiding my fingers, as if the music has a mind of its own."
  • "I have this strange ability to see people's memories when I touch their hands. It's both a gift and a curse."
  • "This necklace I found seems to glow when the moon is full. I've never seen anything like it."
  • "Grandma's mirror doesn't just show reflections; it shows glimpses of the past and the future."
  • "The café at the end of the street only appears when it rains. Have you ever been inside?"
  • "There's a hidden garden behind the school that only children can see. They say it’s where dreams are planted and grow into reality."
  • "The new neighbor claims she can brew potions that change your fate. Should we believe her?"
  • "He says he can read the stars to predict people's destinies, but his predictions are always so eerily accurate."
  • "The river in the forest runs backward during the full moon. No one knows why."
  • "Every night at midnight, the streetlights spell out messages in Morse code. Have you ever tried to decode them?"
  • "Lately, the wind has been carrying whispers, like it's trying to tell us something important."
  • "I've noticed that the shadows in our town don't quite match their objects. It's like they're alive."
  • "There's a legend that if you light a candle at the old crossroads at midnight, you'll meet a guardian spirit. Do you dare to try it?"
  • "In our village, they say that singing to the dawn brings good fortune for the entire day. Have you ever wondered if it really works?"
  • "I've found a door in my house that leads to different places depending on the time of day. This morning, it opened into a meadow."
  • "They say time moves differently in the old clock tower. Spend an hour there, and a day could pass in the outside world."
#prompts#ooo these are good 👀
Avatar
Still stuck on these panels. Akutagawa, fourteen, asking a sixteen year old to be given a reason to live when Dazai is just as lost himself and still searching for his own reason to live. Then the fact that it cuts to them training in the dungeon is both harrowing and feels like a paradox in hindsight. He's given a reason to live, but he's in the equivalent of hell.
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd akutagawa#bsd 122#bsd chapter 122#the relationship between the two of them............#it's so incredibly dysfunctional but fascinating at the same time#and then atsushi seeing for himself what akutagawa went through - what /dazai/ did#thoughts
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar

I need to reread the manga while paying attention to Atsushi's hallucinations with this new twist in mind

Avatar

We know Atsushi was already hearing the headmaster's words berating him non-stop, so Q's ability acting as a trigger to give shape to those voices isn't super out-there.

It could also imply, because Atsushi said Dazai wouldn't be able to "become" an illusion since he's immune to abilities, that all people who suffer Q's ability have some leftover effects.

So is it really ability-based (even if Dazai nullified it) or rather a specific case where the right conditions met to make some permanent(?) damages to Atsushi's psyche?

Avatar

wait I thought about it again I'm scrapping the part about Dazai not being able to become an illusion, it's irrelevant, it was just to say there was no way it was really Dazai himself who was talking to Atsushi, but something in his own mind instead.

and like Story @iwritenarrativesandstuff mentioned, it's more likely that Atsushi was impacted because Q's ability served as a trigger to a predisposition to cause this condition since we haven't even gotten a glimpse of Kunikida showing similar symptoms.

#bsd 122#i peeped that thing about q's ability#though kunikida isn't relevant to the story rn i wonder what implications of q's ability will have on him in amenogozen's space#makes me wonder if they're foreshadowing and setting something up for kunikida also encountering the phantoms of his past and needing to#move on#anyway guild arc was around when atsushi started having those visions and now i also need to reread and see what breadcrumbs there are#i do remember something to the effect of dazai saying q's ability was hellish and the way he treats q in general - there's probably somethi#something there that goes beyond an ability doing ability things that's long-lasting#thoughts
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar

smth smth bsd’s recurring theme of your past not defining who you are but facing your past being necessary to move on anyway. the symbolism of atsushi’s abuser being the one to push him forward despite atsushi’s dislike for him—you cannot get rid of him. you cannot stop caring. you will cry when your father dies and you will hate him for it. you will never get rid of the ghost that haunts you but sometimes acknowledging it is the first step to healing. can anyone hear me

#nakajima atsushi#h o n e s t l y#the whole chapter was just ough but this panel was so powerful#and how atsushi just. accepted it#the past will never leave but you can always move forward and move on
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar

Absolutely gutwrenching choice they made when they showed us Akutagawa coming to the conclusion that he had to kill Atsushi, only to have that realization be directly followed by the most mournful and regretful expression Akutagawa can show. The authors of this manga love sskk so freaking much

#akutagawa ryuunosuke
Avatar
Reblogged
Avatar
“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.”

— T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

#literature#quotes
Avatar
The minute I saw the panels from 122, the parallels between Atsushi and Beast!Atsushi immediately came to my mind and I thought it was very powerful. Canon Atsushi eventually learns to let go of the past enough to move on and not let himself be stuck it in anymore. He didn't cry or hesitate, he was ready to move past the headmaster without turning back. He also did not lash out in anger. Whereas in Beast, he went against Dazai's warning to not go back to the orphanage, but also could not let go of the past and trauma he suffered while there. It basically consumed him, and he did what he thought would put an end to his internal suffering, but all it did was make him more empty and fill him with grief because now he would never get closure or find peace within himself. He acted out of the belief that the headmaster's graduation gift was something that would harm or kill him, so he struck first. The headmaster was dead, and so was Dazai. He has no mentor to look up to in Beast to help him process what happened in the past.
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd atsushi#bsd 122#bsd chapter 122#bsd beast#bsd spoilers#thoughts#i just. even before it got translated these scenes in the chapter really stuck out to me#like so many what could've beens for atsushi - and not for the better - had things gone differently#but by his visions becoming the headmaster it's a symbol of moving on and healing within for him#and all the suffering he endured to get that far but he kept going and didn't fall back into that dark place of comfort he knew growing up
Avatar
Reblogged metamorphesque
Avatar
“I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.”

— Kuba Wojewodzki (via sad-plath)

#literature#quotes
You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.