Pinned
It's a rock album and I played all the instruments (except drums) and did all the vocals! Please give it a listen and reblog if you enjoyed! It helps me out a great deal!
I really hope you like it and thanks to everyone for supporting me in my musical journey U^ｪ^U
Just talked on the phone with a 15 year old trans girl for work and she's already starting hrt and getting her name changed and I'm like wow must be NICE having supportive parents
My high school years were such hell and for what. I'm trying not to be jealous I'm genuinely happy for her but it really hurts!! I came out when I was 16! I BEGGED to transition. I was desperate. The only reason I didn't kill myself is because I couldn't handle the thought of being deadnamed at my funeral.
I know I got to start hrt right at 18 and that's relatively young but I could have started sooner if they just fucking let me. All the pain and anguish I suffered... No one will ever understand
@jiraiema have you seen this? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Holy moly... I need 😭
Sometimes it feels like poetry always talk too negatively about the rain and even if it's just a feeling I appreciate that you made a song that does justice to how beautiful rain can be. Now I always think of that song when I walk in the rain.
Thanks so much ❤️ I'm glad it made you feel that. I love the rain so much. It's a beautiful thing
Really late to ask this but I'm curious why you called your album Amalgamation.
This is such a fancy word 😄 Hadn't heard it before your album came out even though I consume 50x more media in English than in my native language.
It's a funny little story. I referred to myself as an amalgamation once (in a derogatory way). An amalgamation of a man and a woman, an amalgamation of mental problems. I became kinda attached to the word.
It's still a bit self-deprecating, but it can be spun as a positive too. I'm an amalgamation of ideas and passions and things I love. I think we all are.
And the album is an amalgamation of songs and ideas! It's meant to mirror my self. That's why I called it that. Hopefully that's at least a bit interesting.
my amalgamation cd arrived recently!! Thank You for making a physical version, the album is awesome (=^ェ^=) @jiraiema
Yayyyyy :> I'm so glad you like it!
Hello. It’s me again _(:,3」∠)_
I know this will feel neither real nor relatable with everything you’re going through. But I still want to say it.
I am turning 30 in 4 days. Right now, I am the absolute sanest I have ever been. And I am so, SO glad I stayed alive. I’m sure you’ve been struggling for many years at this point. Hearing the cliché “it gets better” must be really annoying. Maybe it even makes you want to smack a mofo. Maybe not.
At the end of the day, it’s all your choice that we have to accept. I just personally think that you still have a chance for something better to come someday.
Thanks for your kindness :> I hope you are right. Who knows. I'm still here today. Still fighting. Maybe in September I'll still be here. I'll keep trying whatever I can until then
Got really scared when I read the most recent posts, but now I’ve remembered someone on the web saying that planning when to commit suicide and what to do beforehand actually made them stay alive. They wanted to write a suicide note in form of a book, describing in great detail just how much they had been failed by the medical system, but at some point, writing this book become such a goal and passion for them, that they ended up publishing it but staying alive regardless. I hope that whatever your plans for these couple of months are, you can find something similar to make you stay here after all.
(in case you are interested in that author’s story, I can link it)
And as scary as it looks from an outsider’s point of view to see someone have a specific suicide date, I think it might actually be therapeutic, in a way. No matter what you go through now, you can possibly stop yourself from going for it in the spur of the moment and calm yourself down by telling yourself that “it’s fine”, “it’s just x weeks left anyway”, you “can wait just a bit more”. I hope that when August 31st comes around, you will feel okay-ish enough to postpone the date, and then keep postponing it more.
Thanks for caring so much. I guess we'll see how things go. I'm trying to take it one day at a time
sending love 💖 i understand how you feel so im not gonna tell you not to do it because im kinda in the same lane as you but i want you to know that even though i barely know you, your music and blog have been really influential in my life and helped me feel like i wasn't alone so thank you, and if you choose not to kill yourself then im here for you then too.
Thank you ❤️ I'm really happy I could reach you like that